A/N: merry christmas i know this hasn't been updated since april and i am so sorry i have no excuses
Beca is standing in front of Chloe's apartment door. She's been standing there for about fifteen minutes, contemplating whether she should tell Chloe right now or not, how she would say it, how Chloe would take it. She's staring at Chloe's door with a fist hovering in front of it and she can't believe she's been here for fifteen minutes.
"Fuck it," she mutters. She taps on the door three times, and she grits her teeth while she waits for Chloe to answer the door.
She counts the seconds it takes for Chloe to come to the door. Exactly eleven and a half seconds later, the door opens.
Chloe's face breaks out into a grin the moment she sees that it's Beca. "Hi, there." She leans in to kiss Beca, who only returns the kiss half-heartedly. Chloe doesn't really seem to notice. "Come in."
Beca walks into Chloe's apartment, past Chloe, and sits down at the table in the kitchen area. Chloe frowns.
"Is there something wrong?" Chloe says uneasily, sliding into the seat across from Beca.
"No," Beca immediately says. She squeezes her eyes shut. Idiot. "I mean—yes. I mean, there doesn't have to be anything wrong—"
"Beca." Chloe's voice is suddenly stern. "Just tell me what's wrong."
"There isn't necessarily anything wrong."
"You're not telling me something."
"I'm about to tell you something."
"Okay." Chloe places her hands on her lap and waits patiently. "Tell me."
"Do you want to go for lunch, first?"
Chloe sighs, and looks up at the ceiling in frustration for a moment. She looks back at Beca. "Unless that's what you're about to tell me, then no. This isn't fair, Beca," she says, and Beca can practically see the concern mingled with fear in her bright blue eyes.
It feels like Beca's heart is about to thud out of her chest. She can feel her palms starting to get a little clammy. Just say it. Say it, Beca. Say it. Just say—
"I got a job offer in Washington," she blurts out. She quickly regroups, and her next words come out faster than she'd ever said words before. "I don't have to go. It's just DeSoto Records. I mean, I don't mean just, they're one of the biggest record labels in America,but you mean more to me than some stupid record label company, I don't think it's worth going all the way to Washington for because you have to finish your music degree here and I don't want to leave you and it's too expensive for you to come with me and it's too much of a hassle for you to transfer credits—"
"Beca, Jesus Christ," Chloe says, putting a hand up to stop Beca in her tracks. They sit there in silence for a moment, and Beca realizes that Chloe's trying to process. Beca starts counting the seconds again.
Forty-seven and a half seconds.
"Washington." Chloe's voice sounds scarily indifferent.
Beca nods once. "I don't have to go," she says, her voice hoarse.
Chloe nods, and she gets up from the table. She walks over to the kitchen counter and pours herself a glass of water.
The silence is driving Beca insane, but she doesn't know what else to say.
"You should go," Chloe says. Beca can still hear the indifference in her voice, and it makes her want to burst into tears.
"I can't leave you." Beca's voice starts to break a little.
There's another pause, and Chloe turns to Beca again, smiling what Beca thinks is the most artificial smile she's ever seen Chloe smile.
"It's okay." Chloe's voice has gone from indifferent to a painfully fake cheerfulness.
She can't stand it anymore. Chloe's voice is monotonous and Beca's brain feels monotonous and she can't stand Chloe not telling her the truth about what she's feeling. "Chloe, what the hell?"
Chloe furrows a brow. "What?"
"You're not okay," Beca says.
"Right, and you've always been the best at knowing how I feel."
The comment hurts, but Beca is trying her best to not start an argument over this. Her start to well up with tears. "If you're not okay with it—"
"I literally just said I'm okay with it." Chloe's voice starts to rise. "I'm okay with it. I'm not about to fucking stop you from pursuing the record label of your dreams. You do realize you told me that DeSoto was the 'record label of your dreams' like, last month, Beca? You don't have to downplay it."
"Stop lying." Beca's voice rises in volume as a result of Chloe's doing the same. "You're not okay with it."
"And what if I'm not?" Chloe's not looking at Beca. "Does that make a difference in the fact that you've been working towards producing with a company like this? No, it doesn't."
"So you're not okay with it."
"For fucks sake, Beca Mitchell." Chloe's yelling now. "Are you not listening to what I'm saying?! I just told you to fucking go to Washington. Stop trying to put words in my mouth."
"Chloe—" This was the worst possible scenario that Beca could have possibly imagined would happen. She didn't know what to do. She knew that this argument was useless, that all they had to do was sit down and talk about things, but they were past that point in an argument where they could just simply stop.
"I need you to leave, Beca." Chloe's voice is back to being quiet. Indifferent. Monotonous.
Tears are streaming down Beca's face, now. "Chloe, please—"
Chloe's suddenly in front of her, and she's looking down at Beca. Beca didn't realize it, but Chloe had been crying, too. "I'm happy for you. But I can't hold you back." Chloe places her hands on either side of Beca's face and presses her lips to Beca's forehead. She then puts their foreheads together and squeezes her eyes shut before releasing Beca and taking a step back. "Please, for my sake. Go."
Beca slowly starts walking backward, waiting for Chloe to stop her, waiting for Chloe to say sorry and talk about this more, but it doesn't happen.
She turns around and runs out of Chloe's apartment, running out of the building, and she doesn't stop crying, not even in the car on her way home.
Once she gets back to her own apartment, she washes her face with cold water. She stares at her own reflection in the mirror and grimaces at it.
She walks out into her living room and lies down on her couch, picking up her cellphone.
Beca dials a number. A voice on the other line greets her.
"Hi," she says, her voice still shaky. "This is Beca Mitchell. I'd like to take the job."
A/N: also i'm not actually taking feedback on tumblr anymore however please do leave reviews or tag any opinion posts you have on tumblr with #keep me in mind fic. again i'm sorry merry christmas this will be updated much much sooner