Meredith
It feels weird being home earlier than everyone else. I think I like it. The house is quiet. I think I could probably lie here all day for about a week. I think I am going to request that shift more often. There are better nurses too. I never noticed that crack in the window frame before. I wonder if that's new. I can't believe Derek today. How can we continue to be friends when he betrayed me like he did? I can't believe I thought I was in love with him. That wasn't real love. That wasn't like…it just wasn't love. It's for the best though because now I am with Mark. We're more compatible anyway. I can't believe he actually gets along with Izzie. It's probably only because she makes him food for work. He's lucky she likes to cook. I definitely need to close those curtains, that sun is way too bright and I will never get to sleep with that glare in my face. I can't believe I still have my scrubs on. I am not moving from this bed though. I will just have to sleep in them tonight. Since I have off tomorrow I really don't think I will move from this spot. I wonder if Mark is going to come over tonight. I should call him after I sleep. Speaking of sleep I should probably get some now before George and Izzie get home.
Mark
I know I should call before showing up but I am pretty sure she's going to be sleeping. If anything I could just come back tomorrow since she has the day off. I really would rather see her tonight though. I just have to know what Derek said to her in that elevator. I don't trust him at all. I cannot believe the balls on Addison to all of a sudden pay attention to her. It pisses me off that they even came up to me and dared talk about my relationship. This hasn't been easy for Meredith or myself and they're just making it that much harder. At least she understands what I am going through. I am glad we are so much alike in that way. We are on the same wavelength emotionally and it really helps. This is definitely different than what I had with Addison. Thank god. This feels so much more natural. It just feels so right. Thankfully I am saying these things in my head and not out loud because I'd have to slap myself for being such a sissy. What can I say? She just makes me happy. There is nothing wrong with that…so I am beginning to learn.
"Here goes nothing." I hope I knocked hard enough. I don't want to ring just in case anyone is sleeping.
"Ah, Dr. Sloan!" How many times do I have to tell her to call me Mark outside of the hospital?
"Mark, Izzie, just call me Mark."
"Sorry, right, Mark. Meredith is sleeping but you can come in and go up if you want." I don't think I should. She may not want to be disturbed.
"No, that's alright, I'll just come back tomorrow." What's the matter with you? The real Mark Sloan would just go up there and have sex with her while she's barely awake. I am not familiar with this Mark Sloan that cares about others. I'm starting to scare myself.
"Don't be silly. I am sure Mer wouldn't mind at all. Come on in!" Wow she is really peppy. How the hell does she have all that energy all the time? I guess I am going upstairs. I don't know how I am going to go about doing this. Do I wake her up first or do I just lie down and go to sleep with her? I am pretty exhausted myself. I am so bad at this. I don't want to startle her. Once I get in there I am sure it will come to me.
"Mer?" Yeah way to go, dumbass, whispering her name is really going to get her attention. Do I really want to wake her? She looks so peaceful. There is no way I can wake her. She still has her scrubs on. She must have been really tired. She sucks, I want to be sleeping. I need to be near her. I'm going to do it. I am going to get in bed with her and that's all there is to it. She will have to push me out of the bed to stop me and I am so much stronger than she is.
Did she just groan? Oh crap I woke her up. "Mark?"
"Hey Izzie insisted I come up and wake you. I told her I would just come back tomorrow." Smooth thinking. Blaming Izzie. Pure genius. It's half her fault anyway.
"You just wanted to get in bed with me." She knows me too well even when she's half asleep. "I'm glad you're here." Why does that make me so happy to hear? "I had a strange day."
"Tell me about it. I was blind sided by weird behaviors of Addison and Derek."
"Oh you too? Yeah they both got me too." Addison too? I figured Derek would have tried to work his charm on her in the elevator but Addison stuck her nose in it too? That really ticks me off.
"What did Derek say? Will I have to kick his ass? He didn't try anything did he?" Shut up, Mark.
"He didn't try anything. I didn't even want to talk to him but he insisted. He wants to be friends and I said no because even in a friendship you need trust and I don't trust him at all. Then he was surprised that I trust you but seriously why wouldn't I?" She trusts me?
"I got the same crap from them too. They're so selfish. It's like they don't want us to be happy if we're not with them."
"We're lucky to have each other. I wouldn't be able to get through this without you." Say something nice back, you idiot. She just opened up. You have to say something back. Something from the heart for once, Mark.
"I'm just like you. I really never really had a good relationship with either of my parents. Derek's family was my family. After I slept with Addison and she left I was so alone. I started thinking that I didn't deserve…"
"I never was the kind of girl who got into a relationship. I am probably the female version of you. I would sleep with the first guy I saw just to numb the pain which ever pain that was at that specific time. When I met Derek things just happened so quickly. I thought he was it. I didn't even know what it was." I know exactly how she feels.
"I thought I knew…" I thought I knew what love was.
"I thought so too." I wonder if she feels the way I do.
"Thank you for showing me…" What it feels like to be loved.
"Thank you…you saved me." You have no idea. You saved me too. I think…I'm in love with her.
Meredith
Did someone just walk in? I can't open my eyes. Too tired. Ok that's not Izzie. She would definitely not get in bed with me. Ugh, I can barely see. Is that…"Mark?"
"Hey Izzie insisted I come up and wake you. I told her I would just come back tomorrow." Yeah I am sure Izzie just dragged you in kicking and screaming. Somebody missed me.
"You just wanted to get in bed with me." I didn't think I would be as relieved to see someone as I am right now. "I'm glad you're here. I had a strange day."
"Tell me about it. I was blind sided by weird behaviors of Addison and Derek." Him too? I wonder what the jackass said to him.
"Oh you too? Yeah they both got me too."
"What did Derek say? Will I have to kick his ass? He didn't try anything did he?" Which part should I tell him? He didn't try anything physically but definitely mentally. I am so glad I don't fall for that bullshit anymore.
"He didn't try anything. I didn't even want to talk to him but he insisted. He wants to be friends and I said no because even in a friendship you need trust and I don't trust him at all. Then he was surprised that I trust you but seriously why wouldn't I?" Should I have said that?
"I got the same crap from them too. They're so selfish. It's like they don't want us to be happy if we're not with them." He's happy? Happy with me?
"We're lucky to have each other. I wouldn't be able to get through this without you." Oh god I sound so stupid talking like that. It's true though and he deserves to hear it.
"I'm just like you. I really never really had a good relationship with either of my parents. Derek's family was my family. After I slept with Addison and she left I was so alone. I started thinking that I didn't deserve…" Of course you do.
"I never was the kind of girl who got into a relationship. I am probably the female version of you. I would sleep with the first guy I saw just to numb the pain which ever pain that was at that specific time. When I met Derek things just happened so quickly. I thought he was it. I didn't even know what it was." I can't believe I thought I loved him and he loved me.
"I thought I knew…" I thought I knew too. It turns out I had no idea until I met him.
"I thought so too." He makes me feel like I matter.
"Thank you for showing me…" I should be thanking you.
"Thank you…you saved me." Without him I would feel worthless. He has showed me that it's safe to open up. It is safe to finally love someone. I do. I love him.
The End.