Chapter 9 – Born to Die

by Lana Del Rey

Lost but now I am found

I can see but once I was blind

I was so confused as a little child

Tried to take what I could get

Scared that I couldn't find

All the answers, honey

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough

I don't know why

Keep making me laugh,

Let's go get high

The road is long, we carry on

Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane

Choose your last words,

This is the last time

Cause you and I

We were born to die.

Saturday morning

I slowly lifted my heavy eyelids and as the strong smell of anti-bacterial cleaner filled my nose. My mouth was dry and I smacked my lips a few times. I was lying down, in a bed it seemed, and the room was bright. Light from the window reflecting off the white walls, making me want to close my eyes again. I felt like I had slept for years, but I was still tired.

I heard the beeping of a machine and slowly turned my head towards the source of the noise. The muscles in my neck were stiff and my throat was sore. I felt so drowsy and everything seemed so blurry. What happened…? Then it hit me. I remembered everything and shot up from the bed.

I let out a scream, feeling an agonising burning on the back of my head as my right arm gave way under me, sending me back on the bed. I lifted my arm from under me to find it covered from the wrist to the elbow in bandages. This can't be happening.

I looked around the room and noticing the fact that I was hooked up to a drip, the needle stuck in my vein. I couldn't stand needles, so I yanked it out whimper slightly, but that was nothing compared to the throbbing in my other arm.

I heard a faint knock at the door, turning to see Dr Meredith. "Oh! You're awake!" She came towards me and started to check my bandaged arm. "Now, I know you're in quite a bit of pain at the moment, but it there anywhere that hurts particularly?"

"The back of my head is killing me." I attempted to move, but gave up as the muscles in my neck ached.

"Well, after what happened to you, I'm not surprised." She took out a pen and starting jotting notes down on a click board.

"What did happen to me?" My voice cracked. I knew exactly what had happened, but I didn't want to believe it to be true.

Meredith gave me a sad and hopeless look. "Sheriff Forbes will be in here shorty. She'll tell you about what happened, take your statement and then decide on what course of action to take based on what's best for you." She handed me a couple of pain killers and a glass of water, before looking deep into my eyes. "I'm so sorry this happened to you." With that she left the room without another word.

I put the pain killers in my mouth and tried to swallow, but even with the water to wash them down, my throat burned. Within a minute there was another knock at the door followed by Sheriff Forbes and another police officer. She took the vacant seat by my bedside, taking out a note pad.

"Hi Alice. I know it's hard, but I need you to tell me everything you remember from last night."

"It's not going to help you." She stared at me, bewildered. "You saw what happened, you know exactly what he did to me, so what's the point in making me relive it?" The rage was building in the pit of my stomach, knotting itself over and over again.

"Alice, please-"

"I just don't see how I can add anything. You saw it. You saw the way he tried to chock the life out of me. Saw the way that he backhanded me across the room. Not caring when I smashed through those glass cabinet doors, cutting my arm open. Not caring when my head hit the wood so hard that I blacked out." My voice caught in my throat. Even though I was saying it all out loud, I still didn't believe it.

"I'm sorry, Alice, it's protocol, I need to get your statement."

I sighed and let out a humourless chuckle before slumping back down on the bed. I just didn't have the energy to get out of this one.

"Fine. I was dancing, he got jealous. He says he wants to talk, but instead he's been drinking and so decides to assault me. Is that good enough for you!?" I looked away, towards the window.

The sheriff was clearly shocked by my outburst, but gave a small nod. "If that's all you have to say at this time then I won't push you any further, but if you remember anything else then don't hesitate to tell us." She shifted in her seat, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Look, Alice, we need to have a discussion about where you will be staying from now on."

I turned my head back slowly, not wanting to cause myself any unnecessary pain. "What are you talking about?" I knew exactly what she was about to say, but I couldn't processes it.

"Your fathers been arrested and seeing as you're under 18, we can't let you return home by yourself, especially in the condition that you're in now. So, we will be moving you to another location for the time being, until we can settle on a more permanent solution for you."

"But where would I stay?" I could feel tears filling, but I refused to let them fall. I was fed up with being the weaker person all the time.

"Well, the normal procedure would be to move you to your next of kin, but obviously…" She trailed of not meeting my gaze, but I knew what she meant. All your families dead or in jail now. She continued. "Anyway, the next step would be to send you to a foster home, but being such a small town we just didn't have the money to set up one."

"So, what's my option then?"

She took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes.

"We have decided to move you to the Boarding House, just outside of the town. It's owned by one of the council members, Zach, and he already has a few people staying there. I know that it's not what you want to happen, but it's what is best for you at this point in time."

I felt my windpipe tighten and then the tears started to fall. The Sheriff stood and passed me a box of tissues from the cabinet as a muttered a small 'thank you'.

"The doctors say that you should be able to leave tomorrow and we want you to get settled in at the Boarding House as soon as possible. Do we have your permission to pack your stuff and transfer it over?" I gave a quick nodded because I didn't have it in me to protest or fight anymore. "Thank you Alice and I'm sorry that this happened to you." With that they both left the room, leaving me with my thoughts.

It had all happened so fast but that was it. I had to start again, a new life, in a new place with people I didn't known. There was only so much strain my heart could take as I always seemed to be pushed to my very limit. I just wanted to end it all.

I was shaking uncontrollably at the thought of moving in to a stranger's house, having no idea what would be in store for me. They must have trusted this guy to look after me, so there was really no reason why I should have been worried. But all this confidence that I had developed suddenly felt so far away, leaving me back and square one. I couldn't stand this anymore.

I sat up slowly, wiping my forehead and neck, both damp with sweat. I checked the perimeter of the room; I noticed a small mirror and sink. I kicked the covers off and stopped, wincing slightly at the throbbing sensation in my arm. The pain killers had reduced some of the pain on my head, but not enough for me to forget about it.

I finally made my way to the mirror and my heart stopped at the mess that now covered my face and neck. No wonder my throat was so sore as a the bruises that covered it were a multitude of dark colours that normally shouldn't be on someone's skin. There were garish purple splotches across my cheek while others were more greyish and circled my eye, but still looked just as bad.

And it wasn't just the bruises. I could just make out a large gash in the center of my cheek too, most likely caused from the rings my father wore. I looked down at my chest and opened the hospital gown slightly. Lines travelled across the top of my collar bone and down my rib cage from the shards of glass, tearing into my flesh. I reached for the back of my head and felt a lump the size of a golf ball. I could hardly bear to look, but I had to so I knew what he had done to me.

A small part of me died on the inside when I realised that I would never be able to fulfil my Grans dying wish to keep my dad safe and look after him and love him. I was so confused from everything that had happened that I didn't know if I should be upset or angry.

I let out a small and humourless chuckle. At least I was right on one thing; he was a monster and I would never forget it.

Ta da! Like I said, this chapter was more about explaining what was going to happen now in the story in terms of which direction it is going in, so I hope you all like this turn of events. And it was a lot shorter than the other chapters but I didn't want to spend too long writing about this. I was a bit nervous about this because I felt that in some parts that the scene wasn't believable, like the whole foster career thing, but I thought that it matched the story well with the council all being able to trust each other like one big happy family!

And, Zach's not dead! Like I said, this story is set about half way through season 1 and I really loved Zach's character, plus it fits in with my story quite nicely. Again thank so much for the positive feedback, I really appreciate it! See you soon! :)