But I also saw something else that made my day. Maybe my year. Perhaps my whole life.
I saw myself there with him.
I saw him dip his hat, whisper a few words of apology.
Then I saw him smile.
Chapter 9
When one finds themselves with too much time, and not enough to fill it, they often count the stars.
You know that there is no meaning in your life when you know exactly how many there are.
Much of my existence was spent alone as I waited for the world to reach the correct moment in time that I needed in order to find Jasper. My vision that occurred years before was, as ever, fresh and clear enough for me to recall even the most minute detail. I often contemplated the area during my search for the town. There was never much to go on, as Jasper's decision had not depicted the town, only the diner and the overpass. And the rain.
I had begun my search shortly after the vision. I wanted to make sure that I was there. I did not want to miss the opportunity. I realised that he had become my obsession. I didn't like that thought. But it gave me a reason for my life, or whatever it was. My existence was more correct. To live a life, technically, you have to be alive. I never lingered on this contemplation. It was odd to think of yourself as dead.
Initially, I wandered through towns at night, still very uncomfortable being around humans. But people seemed enchanted with my looks, my short hair that I styled with tree sap. I still wore the gown I had stolen from the young girl whom had unfortunately been one of the first victims of my thirst. People stared, as the style was no longer in fashion. In fact, it had not been for many years.
In one town, an older woman approached me and ask my name. It had bothered me on numerous occasions that my identity was unknown to me, but before now, I never needed my name. I looked at the woman, and pretended to be lost and confused.
"I'm not entirely sure. I don't remember anything. I was beaten around the head by a stranger, and I don't remember." The lady's eyes changed from concern and filled with sympathy. She went to lay her hand on mine, but I jerked away, perhaps a little too fast. She blinked and shook her head.
"Come with me, child," she whispered, before beckoning me to follow her.
I walked close to her, but never allowing our skin to touch. I had leant that it was cold from my victims. Recently, I had been able to control the red haze, to fight it, but was I gave in and took hold of a human, their skin raised in goosebumps. The old woman led me to a fine house close to the centre of town, and offered me a room to stay for the night. I did not know what to do, and she read the indecision on my face.
"How about a warm meal, some new clothes and a bed for the night? You can leave whenever you like. I am sure your family will be missing you." Something about her kind words and generous smile triggered human emotions within me that I had not felt in a long time; the need to be looked after. I smiled and accepted.
Just as dawn was breaking, I moved swiftly through the trees that surrounded the small town. My old dress suit had been exchanged for an enchanting long, flowing dress. It made running a lot easier, but the material was more susceptible to the woods that I ran through.
I had been provided with a dinner that, I imagined, would have delighted any human's palate. However, it did nothing for my scorched throat. I insisted that I needed sleep, and that I would be more likely to take some breakfast. The woman had smiled understandingly, and had directed me towards a wonderfully furnished bedroom. I was given a nightgown and a new dress to be worn the next day, as well as shoes and hairpins. The nightgown and hairpins were now tucked into a small bag that matched my dress.
I had liked the rest and comfort of the home environment, but as I lay on the bed, I watched the sky begin to change in colour. The dawn was approaching, and if the loving woman saw my diamond skin…So I had fled. I had left a note on the desk in my room, saying how grateful I was for her hospitality, but I had to return to those who loved me. I had not touched to food on the tray. I hoped one day to return and thank her.
As I ran, the sun began to break through the leaves above, and my skin began to sparkle. I knew that I would have to find a place to hide, and soon. The sparse trees would not conceal me as the forest had. My throat was beginning to demand attention, and I did not want to accidentally take the life of someone close to the woman. That thought forced me to run faster, and the trees flew by. As I ran, I could feel a vision edging into my consciousness, and I fought to keep it at bay. I needed to get away.
I stopped when I realised that I had crossed the state boarder. I still hadn't mastered my new sense of distance. I hid in a thick plantation outside Thomsonville, Alabama, and I allowed myself to give way to the vision. As usual, it was of Jasper. But more importantly, it was of the diner. Only this time, it there was more. A lot more.
Jasper was walking down the streets of a town I had never been to, but I knew it immediately. He strode past the Power House. He was bent over against the rain, trying to hide his eyes. As he walked, he came towards an underpass and the vision melted into one I had seen so many times before. I forced myself to look at the mundane things I had ignored before. I looked for a clock, but couldn't find one. But then, there, in the background, was a grey-haired man was sitting at a table, reading a newspaper. I focused as hard as I could. I could see only the last part of the date; the year. I pulled myself out and smiled as I lay back against a tree. For the first time in years, I felt at peace; I felt happy.
I was still having issues with hunting, but my joy was helping. Finally, I knew when I would meet Jasper. When I would be able to aid his suffering, and mine. I had experimented with the Cullen coven's way of life, but I could never get past the awful smell. I believed that I would be able to eventually, but I needed assistance, motivation, Jasper.
I knew I would have to wait years for him. But he had made his decision, consciously or subconsciously, but he would be in Philadelphia in 1948. I was making my way north so that I would be there for him if he changed his mind and arrived earlier than I expected. Actually, it was more if he changed his mind and arrived before I could get there for him.
I had never been to Philadelphia before, so it shocked me when I arrived. It was bigger than the towns I had been surviving in for however long I had been in this life. I was not entirely sure of how long that was. When there is nothing to measure time against except thirst, it is hard to know exactly how long you are in a single place. However, upon arrival, I leaned that the year was 1941. So seven years. It did not seem long in some respects, and in others it seemed a lifetime. What was I going to say to him after our initial encounter? How would we survive if he decided to come with me in search of the mysterious coven? I did not know the answers. All I knew was that I needed to be ready. And for that, I needed a name.
I thought about the girls' names that I had heard in the years I had been moving through town to town. None of them sounded like me. One name that I hated was Mary. I didn't know why, but something about it made my skin crawl. I walked to City Hall, and asked to see the Births, Deaths and Marriages. Initially, the man behind the counter looked me over. My hair had been curled and pinned back to look slightly more normal. He blushed as I looked at him. He told me to follow him. As I knew he would. He left me in the stacks, to look through the city's records. I flicked through endless books, searching for a name. Any name. But nothing would fit. Elizabeth, Margret, Caroline. Nothing was me. I was becoming so mentally drained, wishing for something to stand out. I reached for the last book, and began to flick. Then I saw it. In plain print. A girl born in 1873 in the town. The 4th of March to be exact. The only girl in the whole town to be named that. But it didn't matter. Because somewhere in my mind, it sounded right. Strange. But me.
Alice.