A/N: Hello Dearest Readers! I must remind you, i'm not on School holidays anymore. So I have less and less time to update chapters. I'm finding myself typing bits here and there every few days or so. So don't worry, I don't think i'll dump this story in a hurry.

I'll answer a few questions I got in my reviews before hand.
Schnebz: No! I'm not American. Far from it, actually, hehe. I'm purely Australian. Thanks for reading though!
Jedi Knight Padme: Thank you for the idea. I'll consider Sirius trying to gain Emily (His ball date) back. If I use the idea, I shall credit you.
Pain and Tears: Funny, but not random eh? Lol, I always thought this fic was extremely random, thank you for the compliment! I know, I need to make my chapters longer. The last one was so short due to writers block and having a busy week, I promise this one will be longer. Also, I know Sirius wasn't probably on the Quidditch team, but we can't let James have all the glory now, can we? ;-)
ckjr: I'm quite aware I made the mistake of putting "2004" instead of "1977" in a previous chapter. I even said it in the next chapter in the Authors Note that I made that mistake. I'm far too lazy to correct it.

Another quick note: MY YEAR TIME LINE IS WRONG BUT I DON'T CARE. Marauders are in sixth year. End of story. Hehe.

One final note, Ladies, This is the mind of a real male. Read and learn.

10/1/78

I'M FREE OF THE MAN EATING COLD!
Yes, it was man eating. Why? Because it could eat you whole. It destroyed your insides and made you flop about hopelessly in bed for a whole 2 days. Prongs and Moony suggested I missed Full Moon, which went down rather badly. I'd never missed Full Moon before, but I forced myself out of bed and collapsed onto the ground face first. So I missed Full Moon. Do you have any idea how pissed off I am about that? James got all the fun to himself, stupid prat.

Wormtail does nothing. He just presses the knot in the Womping Willow. Oops, I've written too much.
Moony taught me to produce a locking spell to put onto the diary, so if anyone without my wand wanted to open it, they would have to literally blow it up first. So it's quite safe now. Moony still doesn't want to read my journal, but i'm itching to read his.

Prongs reads this occasionally. Sometimes when he's had a row with Evans he'll crawl up onto his bed feeling sorry for himself and flick through the pages, looking for any signs of his name or anything else that could be juicy. He's so pathetic, that one sometimes.

I'm dying here, people, I need to prank someone and quickly.
I don't care if its the old Truth-drink or the Cussing Toilet, I NEED TO PRANK! I need councilling. Wheres Moony when you need him? Lord, we're would we be without Moony? I have some faint idea, either dead or expelled. One of those.

Oh no, I can't bare the fact of being expelled. I'd rather die than return back to THAT family. My mother treating me like I was some kind of disgusting stranger, my brother throwing crude (and in his opinion, witty) comments at my way. The two cousins from hell. Can you even imagine what the family reunions would be like! I would poison my own potatoes and die quietly under the table. No, I wouldn't need to, Mother would poison them for me before she served my dinner to me.

Thats if they even bothered to cook me dinner.
My family is here, in Hogwarts where I belong.

I have another topic to discuss. Females. I can't understand Prongs, he wants Evans to be his girlfriend so badly. Why on earth would you want a girlfriend! They're over-rated. Its like being trapped in a cage with someone throwing away the key. No longer can you flirt with other girls and run freely in the meadows of the single life! You're stuck with one girl who hassles you about talking, commitment and remembering birthdays and anniversarys. Oh god, What if I got married?

I'm depressed now. Writing in my own journal is depressing me. I want to live the free singlelife forever!
When i'm 30, I could be walking down the street and still be good-looking. That is the ONE thing in the world I'm..sorta..thanking my family for. My amazingly good looks. Other sixth year maleslook at me and think "How did he get to look so good?" Especially Peter. He thinks that a lot. I know it.

I really don't get the whole 'love' thing like Prongs does. He's so obsessed with that women, she could get him to do anything we wanted. If Prongs had to choose between cloned Snivelly's set up for prank targets and kissing Lily Evans, he would go for the girl. I mean COME ON! Somebody needs to slap that boy with a fresh cold tuna fish.

You do realize, this entire journal entry has been a rant? I guess you could call it stress relief. Relief from the suffering of having nightmares about getting a girlfriends. If I announced at breakfast tomorrow morning that i'd rather kiss Snivellus behind than get a girlfriend, I wouldn't be surprised to see 3 or 4 girls running out of the hall with uncontrollable tears streaming down their faces. Also they're will be many disappointed faces onmostof the girls. Many.

Bah. I'm so full of myself. As if i'd say something like that to all those gorgeous girls out there.
Oh...but..theres the ugly ones. Some of them just have to look at you and send a shiver up and down your spine.

But if I had to date someone, it would probably be Emily. In fact, I would go back out with Emily in a second. Cancel everything I said above, shes worth being locked in a cage with the key thrown away (only if shes in there with me). One tiny, insy little problem...she loathes me. Hates my guts.

Prongs. Why can't we get the women we want the most?
I am quite aware i've gone from never wanting a girlfriend, to wanting a girlfriend in one single entry, but I really do think a lot while I write, you know. I mean, I don't mind being bossed around by Emily. She can do whatever she wants to me.

Prongs and I got kicked out of the library today. You know how you can make those fart like noises when you cup your hand under your armpit? I swear, that never gets old. It was hilarious. Apparently we were 'disrupting students'. Come on, wheres life without a bit of humour?

I ran into Evans today. And by the term 'ran' I actually meant I crashed into her while I skidded down the 4th floor corridor this afternoon. Her books went flying everywhere, and she didn't seem to impressed with me but she wasn't hurt. I quickly glanced over my shoulder in case Prongs wasn't spying and helped her with her books (You see, small things like these gets James supercious quickly). She thanked me, and was on her way. But typically, 5 minutes later (I was walking in case I ran into any other females) Prongs grabbed me roughly by the shoulder blades and pulled me aside.

"What. The. Hell." he breathed at me slowly. Rolling my eyes, I pushed him away and explained for the 700000000000000000000000 time that, no, I was not 'into' her. I did not 'like' her, find her 'attractive' or want to 'get with her' in anyway what-so-ever. I repeat, 'He's so pathetic sometimes'

I told Moony this story, but he merely just shrugged. This sort of stuff doesn't happen with him, because Prongs is quite aware he's only got eyes for Danni. Another reason to get with Emily, to get Prongs off my case about Evans.

Would you look at the time! It's half past twelve and I haven't even started my Potions essay. Not...that I care about my homework..I just don't want to add another detention onto the weeks worth I got for hexing a Slytherin in my year after he insulted Wormtail. Kettleburn just happened to be standing a few metres away.

On-a-mission-from-god-to-get-a-chick
S.B