Chapter 10 – Apologies

[REGINA'S POV]

I finally decided to text Emma. I wasn't sure I would have the strength to hear her voice. I held the phone in my hands for excruciating 15 minutes before I could finally muster the courage to start texting.

"Hello, Emma. Have you called? I was up late, only managed to check my phone now." It took me another three minutes to press the "send" button. My heart started racing by the moment I sent it.

After less than a minute, she replied.

"You got us all worried, Regina. I heard about your little adventure last night. Hope it was worth it, your majesty."

I would definitely kill Snow this time. For good. Before I really started planning on a way of killing Snow, I texted her in no time.

"YOU TOLD EMMA?! WHAT THE HELL, SNOW!" To which Snow quickly replied.

"Sorry! I might or might not have had you on speaker when you said it… Which means Emma might or might not have heard your confession… Really sorry."

God. I wanted to take it on Emma. To yell at her, to make her suffer. But I didn't even know if it had been worth it. I felt an adrenaline rush through my body. Of course, I would lie.

"Yes, it was worth it, all right. Saw Hook there, too. The pirate's broken, you know that?" I pressed the "send" button and felt my heart sink. Seeing Hook like that made me feel a certain sympathy for the pirate that I have never imagined. He, of all people, was not guilty of anything. He deserved his happy ending as well as she did. The question was: did I deserve mine?

I heard footsteps. My heart raced. Was it Brooke? A shy knock on the door filled the room and I gulped before saying. "Come in". I watched as the blonde timidly entered the room.

"Hi." She said, tugging a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hello." I said, sitting down at the desk. "Please, come in."

She entered the room slowly, closing the door behind her. She sat on the couch and looked at the ground.

"So… Do you have any pills for a gruesome hangover?" She asked, and blushed. I laughed.

"Well, I might have something better." I said. "I've had some amazing hangovers recently, and devel… Discovered a cure. It's 100% natural" I lied, showing her a serum. It was a potion I had created. I took a sip of it and handed the remaining up to her. She looked at if for exactly 3 seconds, and then drank it up. I couldn't help but smile. There was a certain innocence mixed with beauty in everything she did. The potion worked pretty much instantly, which made her change her body language completely.

"Wow! It really works!" She said, smiling broadly.

"Yes… It does." I said and took a bottle of martini from a drawer nearby. I poured myself a glass and looked at her, raising an eyebrow. I nodded at her, waiting for her command. She licked her lips and said:

"Fine. The pain's gone, so…" We both chuckled. I poured her some of the liquid, too, and sat down next to her in the couch.

"I'm afraid I don't recall everything that happened yesterday…" I said, blushing.

"Oh, thank God!" She said and exhaled, as if she had been holding her breath for 3 hours. "I thought I was the only one with a little amnesia." She blushed harder this time, and I smiled fondly at her.

"Well, what do you say about starting over? I'm Regina." I said and reached out a hand towards her. She shook it with her own and said:

"I'm Beth." Beth! I knew it was something with a B. "Nice to meet you again, Regina." We both chuckled. "What's the last thing you remember?" She asked and I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, and she placed a hand over my leg. "It's okay. I've been down this road way too many times." She laughed. I relaxed a little before continuing.

"I guess… When Hook left, or something."

"Hook?" She asked, puzzled.

"Yes, the pirate."

"I have no idea who you're talking about." She said, and I couldn't help but smile. "Sorry" She blushed again.

"It's fine. Let's pretend that last night was a prelude to us meeting today, is that okay with you?" She nodded. "So, Beth." I began. "Tell me, what would you like to know about me?" She bit her lower lip and stared at my mouth. I felt a shiver down my spine and my heart raced. I knew what she was about to do, but I wasn't sure I wanted it to happen. She came in closer, and I was starting to panic.

When her lips were about to reach mine, the door was abruptly opened. Ruby got in, mouth open, ready to say something, but when she saw the woman beside me, her mouth closed. She stood silent without really knowing how to proceed.

"Beth, would you excuse us, for a second?" I asked, politely. She nodded and left the room in hurried steps. Ruby closed the door behind her and looked like she was about to start speaking again, but I signaled her to not do that. I then quickly charmed the room so no one could hear what was going on from the outside. I knew this could quickly turn into a heated or desperate conversation. I nodded at her, and she began vomiting the words.

"Regina… What the fuck did we do?! I mean… Who's that chick that slept with me?! And the one who was almost kissing you?! Oh, God!"

She sank on the couch next to me and I placed a hand on her thigh. "Breathe, woman." I said, and she took several deep breaths.

"Beth." Red looked at me. "Her name's Beth. I don't know about your… Well. I don't know how to name her."

"God, this is a nightmare." She placed both palms on the sides of her head, looking completely lost. I felt sorry for her.

"Come on, it's not that bad. I mean… Beth is okay with that, and I bet… The other woman will be, too." She continued taking deep breaths. "Ruby, relax. It's not a big deal."

"Yes… Yes, it is, Regina." She said, tears quickly flooding her eyes. "I cheated on her." She wiped some of them away, looking at the ground. "I mean, I left. But we never really broke up, you know. I guess… I just… Needed some human contact." She sighed, and placed her head on my lap. We stayed in that position for some time, not saying anything. Ruby cried all the tears she had been holding back for a long, very long time.

-x-

After almost an hour, we made our way downstairs and found a note on the couch in the living room. It said "Things got pretty messy, we're sorry. If you would, we would like to meet again – less drunk this time. Same time, same place? XO. PS: our names are Jane and Beth, just in case."

Ruby and I looked at each other at the same time.

"So, do you want-"

"NO! God, I can't do it again." Ruby said, pacing around.

"Well… I might know something that can convince you." I bit my lower lip nervously. I immediately felt the taste of blood and remembered the cut from the night before. I licked it to clean it up, but Ruby seemed to not notice it. She narrowed her eyes and sat down on the couch.

"Spill it."

"Unfortunately, I can't remember every detail, but there was something about another bean. The last one. And Jane has it."

Ruby just kept staring at me for ten seconds, before looking away, deep in thought. I came and sat beside her at a fair distance, placing my right hand over the backrest.

"It can't be. How is it even possible? They're not even from here."

"Yes, I thought it too, until Beth told me that Gold gave them a lot of beans. That's how they found this town, and many other places. They have no idea who we are, though. Which is good… In my case." I shifted uncomfortably on the couch and Ruby looked at me.

"Gold? But why on Earth would he do that?"

"That also got me thinking. And there's more. He told them that if they ran out of them, they could come after him for more. I never knew Gold had a stack of beans, but he is definitely into something. He never does anything out of goodness of his heart. He wanted them to come here, but why?"

"I don't know. You said they still have one?"

"Yes. What do you suggest we do?"

Red sighed and started pacing around again. She seemed to be having many different internal struggles and arguments, and I chose not to disturb her. After about three minutes, she gave up and landed on the couch with a small thump.

"I don't know what to do."

"I can see that." She looked angrily at me, but I continued before she could say anything. "And I can understand your struggle. I don't know what I would do, either, but it seems like we're back to the Gold issue." Red nodded and looked out the window.

"The worst part of it is that I could have avoided it. We could still be there, happy, together. But I just had to go and fuck it all up again." I removed my hand from the backrest and placed it on her left thigh. She looked at me with much sadness.

"Don't do that to yourself. I've been down that road and can assure you that it leads to nothing good. First things first: let's think of our options as of tonight. Is that okay with you?" I looked at her and she nodded quietly. "Okay. So, A: we go there, talk to them and get information on this final bean; B: We don't go there and keep imagining it through anyway; C: We don't go there and you feel miserable forever. Shall I continue?"

Ruby rolled her eyes but seemed to agree with me.

"Fine. But that does not mean I'll be kissing anyone tonight."

"You don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with, Ruby. Relax, we got this."

"I hope you're right."

I smiled reassuringly at her.

-x-

"Are you sure we have to do this?" I asked and bit my lips for the thousandth time in a row.

"Yes. And seriously, you and Emma need to talk." I opened my mouth to protest, but she continued. "Don't lie to yourself. There's more to it than something physical."

"There's nothing…"

"Oh, really? Then how would you describe your last kiss?"

"Well, we… I… Um…" I blushed, gulped, and felt my eyes widen. Ruby smirked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"See? There's no denying, Regina. You're in love with her." I knew I was, of course I was, but saying it out loud would be too much for me now.

"Now that's a total misunderstanding! I'm not… In love with anyone. Besides, it's been only a few days, that's not even possible."

"Seriously, we live in a fairy tale world. Anything is possible."

I narrowed my eyes and looked away, pacing around the living room. Ruby was still sitting down on the couch and seemed very pleased at that turn of events. That bastard.

"Fine. We'll go there. But I can't assure you it'll be good."

"I know. I truly understand what you're feeling." Suddenly, Ruby's face turned completely sympathetic and nice. "But please, understand that I need to do this, and I would feel more comfortable if you were there with me."

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a second, stopping in my tracks. She was right. She needed to do this, and it would be better if we were together. I looked at her and she looked extremely excited – like a kid would.

"Fine. Let's do this before I change my mind." She smiled broadly and I poofed us to Snow's apartment.

-x-

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Snow screamed when both Ruby and I showed up in front of her in her own apartment, unadvised. She placed one hand over her heart as if to slow it down. I smiled to myself and Ruby nudged my ribs, causing me to protest in pain.

"Ouch! What did I do?!" I asked rubbing my sides. Ruby rolled her eyes and shook her head in response. This time I was able to hide the smirk that was about to grace the light of day again. "Anyway. Sorry about the entrance, Snow." I said as she grumbled. "But we kind of have an emergency, and would like some advice and thoughts over it." Snow seemed curious.

"Does it have anything to do with your… Acquaintances?" She looked at Ruby and me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, but not only that." It was Ruby's turn to speak, and she bit her lower lip nervously. "Gold has something to do with it, and there might be a way for me to go back to Dorothy."

"How so?" Snow said and made her way to the table, sitting on a chair. We both followed her and sat opposite one another.

"The reason why they showed up here in the first place was because Gold

gave them a stack of magic beans, and now they only have one left. He told them if they ever needed more, they could come searching for him, here."

Snow nodded slowly, trying to absorb the information that was laid upon her.

"But… Why? Why would he gift total strangers with extremely rare items such as magic beans?" Snow seemed to not understand it, and looked at both our eyes.

"We don't know it either. The thing is… They invited us to go to the bar again, same time, tonight. We decided to go, but we need some thoughts about it first."

"You're going?" I heard a voice coming from the bedroom and looked up in time to see Emma lying against the doorframe, arms crossed and narrowed eyes straight towards me. I couldn't help but gulp.

"Emma, it wasn't her idea. Actually, I put her up to it, she didn't wanna go." Ruby anticipated, and I felt a little relieved as Emma's arms unfolded and she came closer to the table, sitting beside me.

"So, what are you guys doing exactly?" Emma asked Ruby, not looking at my direction in the slightest. I rolled my eyes.

"We need information. Anything we can get on that lost bean, but we have no idea how things are going to turn out. We came here to ask for back up. Since this is something Gold has his finger on, we can never be too careful. And if it gets out of hand in terms of… Drinking and doing stupid things –" Emma looked at me narrowing her eyes again. "Then it will be nice having you guys there to get us out. What do you say?"

"Yes." Emma quickly answered, and Mary Margaret looked at her with her mouth open. "We will be at the bar, just pretending to look around. If anything happens, we'll intervene."

Snow nodded at the same time that the door opened, revealing David and Henry. They were both holding ice creams and smiling to each other, when Henry's eyes found mine, and then Emma's. He dropped his smile immediately. Snow seemed to tense up and shift on the table. David also changed completely his body language and greeted everyone, leaning on the kitchen counter. Henry stayed glued to the threshold, now looking straight at me. Emma looked at him and at me, frowning.

"Kid? Are you okay?"

"Yes, Ma. I'm great." He lied, looking away.

"Henry, can we talk?" I asked, looking at him. He simply nodded and went to the bedroom. I followed him, closing the door behind us. I went straight to the bedroom and sat down, while he went over to the window, looking away. "What's wrong, dear?" It took him some minutes before he could either speak or even look at me in the eyes.

"I know about you and Ma." I gulped and shifted nervously on the bed.

"What do you mean-"

"Mom, please. I'm not a kid anymore." I nodded as he looked at me in the eyes. "What about Robin? Have you forgot about him already?"

"Henry… It's not like-"

"And Hook? You didn't think about him, did you? Did Ma think about him at all? I knew you never liked him, but that's low, Mom."

"Henry! Watch what you say to me, now-"

"It wasn't her fault!" Emma entered the room and seemed determined. Only then I realized we were probably both screaming, for she heard it and decided to intervene. "I'm the one who started it." Her voice came out low, almost as a whisper, and Henry looked at her in disbelief.

"But you have a boyfriend. You love Hook!" Emma looked down and closed the door behind her, leaning against it. "I mean… You do love him, right? I'm really trying hard to understand what's going on here, Moms."

Emma and I looked at each other at the same time, almost as if we were pleading each other to do something to calm him down.

"Henry… It was just something that happened. A mistake. Of course, I still love Robin. I'll never stop loving him, just like Daniel. And Emma loves Hook." I felt as if a knife had just pierced my heart at the thought. "It's just not gonna happen anymore."

"How can you be so sure?"

"It was a mutual decision, Henry. It's been too much too fast for us, and we need to think, to put things in order."

"Yes, Regina's right, kid. Besides, we did it all wrong. I did it all wrong. It could never work."

"Yeah, you definitely did." I laughed lightly and Emma narrowed her eyes towards me.

"I did say 'we', you know. I'm not alone here." I was still smiling as I looked at Emma, her expression lighting up a little. She was trying to hide a new coming smile when Henry spoke again.

"Oh my God. You don't even see it, do you?" We both looked at Henry now and then at each other, confused.

"See what, kid?"

"It's obvious that you have feelings for one another." I cracked up and Emma frowned, crossing her arms.

"Please… Don't be ridiculous."

"Then stop trying to hide it. Let's see who the ridiculous party here is."

I looked sternly at him and I could sense Emma shifting her gaze from Henry to me, over and over again.

"There's nothing to hide, Kid."

Henry seemed to give up, raising both hands up in the air and leaving the room. He slammed door before he left and no one came knocking after him. Emma came in closer to me and sat down beside me in bed. We were both looking down at the ground for some time, trying to find the words to say whatever was on our mind.

"So… You really didn't do it just because of the Savior thing, right?" I kept looking down, but she looked at me and placed her left hand over my right thigh.

"Oh, Regina. As if I would do something like that just because the people wanted me to. I guess… I wanted it, from the start. I just needed an excuse."

"Wanted." I repeated the word out loud, still looking away.

"And… I'm sorry." Her voice was almost inaudible when she said it, and I immediately looked at her in the eyes. It was her turn to look down. "I really am. I know things got out of hand and I really didn't… Don't know how to deal with it. And I know I hurt you, but it's because that's what I do. When things get more intense I seem to just run away. Run away from the events, from the people and from my feelings."

I couldn't help but take both her hands in mine, which caused her to look into my eyes. There was a certain amount of sadness in those green orbs, and they met my own brown ones.

"I understand, Emma. Now I do. Thank you. And I also want to apologize." I lifted a hand up when she motioned to speak, and she stood quiet. I looked out the window. "I want to apologize for whatever happened, for not being able to look after our son, leaving all the responsibility to you. And for the way I've reacted with those girls, I mean…" I blushed, and Emma cupped my chin, forcing me to look into her eyes.

"I was a dick. Don't apologize for it. You're single, free, available… I have no right to be mad at you or them, for that matter. I think I got… Jealous." She shifted on the bed and looked down. "That's what's scaring me, you know." Her voice was so low that I barely heard it.

"Yes." Emma and I stared at each other for less than 10 seconds when she asked me what I feared the most in my life right now.

"Regina… Do you have feelings for me?"

"I…" I got up and paced around for some moments. Emma stared at me at first, uneasy and restless. She eventually got up as well and stood in front of me, when she realized no real answer was coming. She moved in closer, our noses were slightly touching, foreheads leaning and our bodies glued to one another. She placed her right hand over my chest, feeling my heartbeat. She took my right hand and placed it over her own chest, and we could both feel our hearts racing and our breaths uneven.

We couldn't fight it or hide it anymore. Emma closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. Her warm breath reached my lips, which caused my mouth to open slightly. She then opened her eyes and looked at mine, intensely. I placed my hands on her waist, pulling her closer, and she cupped my face. We shot each other one last glance, before my eyes moved to her lips. I bit my lower lip nervously and could feel my heart beating strong and fast. Emma brushed her lips with mine, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I pulled her in for a deeper kiss, tongues dancing together like in a symphony. Our hands were exploring each other's body with desperation and anxiety, as if we'd been craving this contact for a very long time – and we had. After some minutes, despite the arousal and the fact that we needed each other's body even closer – if that was even possible –, we eventually ended the kiss the way it started. We touched our foreheads again, breathing heavily and with our eyes closed. I could feel Emma's heart thumping against my chest, and I was sure she could feel the same about my own. We finally opened our eyes and looked into each other's, and I couldn't help questioning:

"So, what do we do, now?"