Ruzek stared at the beer in front of him. The glass was half empty and even that had been a struggle. No one was really in the mood for this so even when Halstead suggested hitting up Molly's the reaction had been lukewarm at best. Atwater downed his and asked who was ready for another round. Ruzek shook his head just as he phone buzzed in his pocket.
'How was your day?'
'Crappy.'
When it rang he jumped down from his stool and took it outside. "Hey, how was your day?"
"Better than yours." The sound of his voice was a dead give way.
"We closed a really crappy case. Shit's hit the fan."
"Are you okay?"
"I am better now for talking to you." He leant against the wall, trying to get out of the wind. He'd come out without his jacket and the temperature had obviously dropped in the hour since they'd been here. "Tell me about your day?"
"How about you come over and we can both tell each other about our day? I am at home alone."
"Where is everyone?"
"Zoe was desperate to go to a slumber party at Katya's house and Nicole is visiting a friend in Richmond, so I drove her up there and they are bringing her home in the morning. I thought it would be good for her."
"And she was okay leaving Zoe?" Adam knew that Nicole was struggling to give Zoe any freedom but Kim was working hard to help her overcome those fears.
"She's called me twice already." Kim laughed. He was starting to hear it a little more often lately and that made him happy. This hadn't been easy for Kim and some days she felt a little battered and bruised as she absorbed some of Nicole's wild emotions. "So?"
"Do you want me to pick anything up?"
"No. Just you will do."
Slipping his phone back in his pocket he ducked back inside and found another beer sitting on the table waiting for him. "I'm going to take off." He reached for his jacket.
"How's Burgess?" Atwater asked. They didn't talk much about what was going on with them but Kevin always asked how Kim was doing and Adam always had an answer. Initially he barely even acknowledged Kevin's questions but once Kev pointed out that he knew he was seeing Kim quite regularly because she told him he gave up trying to hide it anymore, although he was pretty adamant that they were just friends. And that wasn't a lie, nothing like that was going on at all, it was all very innocent but it had been good for them because they talked a lot.
Kim didn't need the pressure of figuring out what was going on with her relationship, she had to focus on Nicole that was why she had taken this time off but now things were starting to even out a little more perhaps it was time to look into their futures a bit more and decide whether it was together or apart.
"She's good."
He did stop on the way though and picked up some of her favourite ice cream which lit up Kim's face when he handed it over. "How did you know?"
He leant in close and whispered. "Because I know you." And then pressed a sweet little kiss on her cheek.
Kim grabbed two spoons and they curled up together on the couch and dived in. "So what's happening?"
"We've watched two paedophiles get burnt alive on the web and we were too late to save a ten year old boy."
"Sounds awful. Are you okay?"
"Hmmmm." He nodded. "Yeah."
"It's over though right, you got the guy?"
"Sure, it was twisted. The guy that killed the other two paedophiles was one himself and he took that kid that we didn't find in time. It was fucked." Adam didn't even bother to try and soften the story as he laid it out in front of Kim. He wasn't sure how much he could or should tell her but figured that she was part of Intelligence technically so nothing was really off limits as far as cases were concerned. It helped her feel connected and relevant still and kept her in the loop and it was good for him. He needed to debrief. "Seeing Halstead with that kid, I couldn't.." He shook his head, trying to displace the image. "I had to walk away."
"Oh Baby." That had happened recently, Kim had started calling him Baby again. While it felt nice and he missed it, it also confused the hell out of him. They were in this weird place. Placing a hand on his cheek she rubbed her thumb back and forth. "Tell me how to help you."
Adam cocked his head to the side and closed his eyes. "You are already." And that's all he said. He opened his eyes again and reached for another spoonful of ice cream.
Kim leant against him; they were enjoying this more and more often, just spending time together and being close to each other. Nicole was starting to get used to having Adam around and had finally realised that while they had obviously had some issues it wasn't because they didn't love each other. She also understood now that it wasn't all Adam's fault although she had been happy to blame him in the beginning. The reality was that sadly there were more than two people in that relationship and her sister picked the wrong side. "Everyone's okay?"
"No, not really. Erin did what Erin does and lost the plot. She's up in front of the review board tomorrow." He sounded annoyed. Kim was the only one that Adam ever talked to about Erin. She never judged him for it and it stayed between them. When he was bumped back to patrol he accepted his punishment but didn't like how other's seemed to always skate. It didn't stop him having her back though, they were all part of the team and that was family and in every family there was always a favourite that could do no wrong.
"God, Adam. What happened?"
"She pistol whipped the suspect in the interrogation room. The new commander showed up wanting to know where the suspect was and something was off with him. I tried to stall him but he barrelled past me and they caught Lindsay re-holstering her weapon and the perp was bleeding. It doesn't look good for her."
"Why did she take her weapon in?"
"No idea."
"Jay didn't stop her?"
"Jay's not her partner at the moment. She was with Hailey today." Adam had told Kim that Voight had offered her spot temporarily to Upton. She had panicked a little. When Ruzek had split he bought in Rixton and then bumped Adam when he got back and she worried that the same was going to happen to her. Adam told her not to worry, he had spoken to Voight with some trepidation. "Kim's replacement?" He had stopped when he heard him talking to Al. "I thought Kim would be coming back upstairs?"
"She is, Upton is temporary. How is Burgess doing anyway?" Voight didn't seem as pissed off as Adam thought he was going to be with him for asking.
"She's doing okay, Nicole is getting back on her feet. She misses work though."
"Her spot is waiting for her. You tell her when she is ready to let me know."
"Will do boss." As he walked away both Voight and Al looked at him and then at each other and just shrugged. They were just two more people who were confused about what was going on.
"Voight split them up. Erin was all pissy with him again for some reason." He shrugged. "Been like that for a while now. Whatever shit has gone on between them is pretty big. I mean Halstead's birthday she showed up, gave him a bottle of blue label Jonnie and then left. Halstead followed her for a bit but came back and just blew it off as Erin doing her usual woe is me routine. I know he's been spending some time with Natalie from Med, it's all a bit messy."
"Really?" Kim really did hate being out the loop. Adam didn't have nearly enough details to satisfy her and she hadn't talked to Lindsay for a few weeks so had no idea what was going on with there.
"Anyway, this is nice." He grabbed the empty ice cream container from Kim's hands and put it on the table and shifted so that Kim could lie on down between his legs and rest against his chest and she knew they were done talking about work. He grabbed the remote and they watched another few episodes of Game of Thrones. It was their favourite and they decided they needed to binge watch it from the start before the new series came back on.
Adam shook her lightly when she fell asleep and he groaned as she used all her weight to push herself up into a sitting position. "Can you stay?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to say yes."
"Okay." He hugged her tightly against his chest and Kim could feel his heart beating wildly. "Where should I sleep?"
"Can you stay with me?"
"Kim." He sounded so desperate. "We've got a long way to go."
"I know, but we've shared a bed before and that was nice." Kim wiggled around and looked up at him. "I want to be there for you. I can tell you are upset about this case."
"Let's go to bed then." Adam pushed himself up off the couch. And they slept with Kim curled into his side.
He felt Kim get up and rolled over into her space to enjoy her warmth and smell. God how he missed this, he missed her like crazy and this was doing his head in but if he had to take it slow he would as long as he was still here.
The noise downstairs finally woke him and he ferreted around for his clothes and headed down. "Adam." Zoe squealed and ran and jumped into his arms, almost knocking him over.
"Hey Zo, how was your sleepover?"
"It was fun, how was yours?" she asked cheekily. She was just as desperate for them to get back together as he was.
"Awesome." He winked at Kim. He eventually put Zoe back down and made his way over to Kim who was busy making him a coffee and he kissed her cheek softly. "Good Morning." he whispered.
"I thought we'd go out for breakfast."
"Pancakes?" Adam looked at Zoe and crossed his fingers.
"Yes." They both whooped for joy and Adam leant over the bench and gave Zoe a high five. Adam was doing his best to show Zoe that not all men were assholes. He didn't really have to try because everyone knew that Adam was about as far from an asshole as you could get. The last few weeks they had spent a lot of time together playing board games and computer games and he always came over with her favourite cookies. In short, Kim never got near him when Zoe was around which was precisely why she had loved every minute of last night.
Even when he pulled away after giving her a long and passionate kiss when they first got into bed.
When he had told Kim that there were still a lot of good men in the world and rubbed her back as they dropped off Zoe at school she knew precisely who they were. When she got back in the car she leant over and kissed him lightly on the lips. "You Adam Ruzek are a good man."
He grabbed Kim's hand as Zoe skipped ahead of them across the parking lot. "Thank you for last night."
"It was perfect, hey?"
"Not perfect but close enough for now." He felt Kim slip a little on the ice and reached out and grabbed her to stop her falling and he held onto her for just a moment. "I still love you." His eyes were boring into her. "I never stopped." For a year he'd held onto those words, painfully refusing to let them go.
A/N: Such a pity they haven't found 10 seconds in the past few episodes for a quick check in on how Burgess is doing. I do have it in my mind that Adam is helping her out and they are happily spending time together and that every time #RuzWater are in the car together Kev asks him for an update...let's hope season 5 is kinder to the rest of the cast.