Disclaimer: Okay let's get this over with. :deep breath: They're not ours. :Sobbing: IT'S TOO MUCH! We want chocolate…sniff.
Author's Notes: First off, we want to say thanks for all the fabulous and wonderful reviews we've been getting. (You like us! You really really like us!) Not to toot our own horns, but if the reviews are anything to go by, you will LOVE this chapter. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha.
Chapter 10: A Red-Hot Temper
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
The scream came from the entrance of the Great Hall. It came from a freckled person. A red-haired freckled person. A tall and lanky red-haired freckled person, who was staring at Harry's arms around Draco's neck and Draco's hands on Harry's waist, with a horrified look on his face.
"Harry…" Ron pleaded.
"I don't know Ron!" said Harry frantically, searching for an excuse. "It's his fault!" he cried, pointing at Draco.
Ron beet-root face rounded on Draco, who looked like the proverbial deer in headlights. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BEST FRIEND YOU SADISTIC SLYTHERIN BASTARD!"
"Harry! Why did you say that?" Draco said.
"Because it's true! You're the one who called me fat and you're the one who's all kissy-kissy smelly-smelly!" said Harry, waving his fingers to embellish his point.
"KISSING? WHEN WAS THE KISSING! And Harry's not fat."
"Thank you!" said Harry.
"THERE WAS NO KISSING, YOU MAD WEASLEY!"
"At least not this time," said a very smug-looking Harry.
"WHAT!"
"Harry, stop!" pleaded a frantic Draco. "I do not need a Weasley fist-shaped dent in my face!"
"Well, MAYBE you DO!" screamed Harry. "It might shake up that aristocratic brain of yours enough so you would stop SMELLING peoples' HAIR!"
"You were the one who threw yourself into my arms, Your Royal – "
"Don't. Say it. Draco." Harry hissed between clenched teeth. "Do not say it or I will SIC THE WEASLEY ON YOU!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE! WHY did he say that you THREW YOURSELF INTO HIS ARMS!"
"LIES!" Cried Harry imperiously, "All lies!"
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"
The two boys and the boy slash girl turned to see a red-faced Hermione standing in front of the doors. There was complete and utter silence, as all three of them remembered Hermione's tiny fists of fury in the third year. Harry gulped.
"Okay! Ron, CALM DOWN! We will talk about this later!" She grabbed Ron by the scruff of his neck and dragged him towards her. She then turned on Harry. "Listen, STOP taking it out on everyone else just because you have PMS!"
Draco snorted. "PMS? That explains A LOT!"
"Shut up!" Hermione yelled as she rounded on him. "And anyway, as for YOU, if you're so damned attracted to Harry then just ask him out like a real man! Sheesh!"
She turned around, and with complete and utter calm, said "I am hungry. I want to eat my shepherd's pie. Please don't make me come out here again." She opened the doors and walked into the hall, dragging Ron with her.
Draco turned to look at Harry, before backing away very…very…slowly. However, he chose not to run until he was several yards away. Harry watched him run with something akin to sadness in his eyes, then took out his chocolate bar, and munched dejectedly as he walked into the great hall.
Ron paced nervously in the common room as Hermione looked on, rolling her eyes.
"Harry hates me," Ron said. "He hates me."
"Ron, I don't think – "
"But he does he does he does he does he doesn't like me anymore just like Malfoy that's WHY he likes Malfoy he hates me he's gonna grow up and marry Malfoy and have lots of little Malfoy babies and they're going hate all the Weasley babies and then THEIR BABIES—"
"RON! No."
"But – "
"NO, Ron. Just no."
"But whhhhyyyy? What's wrong with him?"
Hermione sighed. "There's nothing WRONG, Ron. It's just…how many times do I have to say it? Harry's a GIRL! Of COURSE he's going to like other guys!"
Ron whimpered, "But why Malfoy?"
"Think about it this way Ron, they've been obsessing about each other since they were eleven years old, they're constantly picking fights with each other, they can't leave each other alone for ONE minute! They talk about each other all the time and complain to their friends about each other. Isn't it OBVIOUS?"
Ron frowned. "But that's how WE act."
Hermione sighed. "EXACTLY, Ron."
And then suddenly, it dawned. "OOHHHHH. You mean you…"
"Since second year, Ron."
"OH! Okay then."
They both grinned stupidly at each other for a long time. Finally, a rather disheveled-looking Seamus, followed by a rather disheveled-looking Dean, popped out from behind the staircase. "Just get on with it," Seamus said, and was gone.
It was purple paisley. Severus felt a little woozy as he walked into his Lord and Master's study. He winced as he heard the signature "And THEN…I Avada'd a muggle." It was clear Voldie had been drinking piña colada all afternoon. Severus approached cautiously. However, he did not see that the death eater, who had not been visible when sitting in the high-backed chair, was none other than Lucius Malfoy. The same Lucius Malfoy who was wearing EXACTLY the same Dolce and Gabbana robes as Severus himself.
"Severus, darling!" exclaimed the Crazy Git with the Bean Bag Chair. Severus was careful to stand at least two feet away, as he did not want piña colada on his new robes.
"I am just here to inform you that the transformation is complete, My Lord, " said Severus, bowing low.
"Wonderful, Severus!" said Voldie. "Now is the time to plan our attack."
"Indeed my Lord," replied the Potions Master. Both he and Lucius got up and headed for the door.
"Oh, and by the way, you two," said Voldie, "you both look lovely. It's so adorable when couples dress alike."
There was a very awkward silence. "Um, my Lord…we're not a couple," said Lucius.
"Sure, darling. You just keep telling yourself that," replied the Dark Lord, and went to play with his Jack-in-the-Box.
Draco and Blaise sat in the Slytherin common room, while Draco complained about his cowardice.
"I want to ask him out Blaise, but I don't know how," whined Draco.
"Well, you know, sometimes the idea of something is better than the actual thing. Maybe if you just make out with Potter it will go away."
"But how do I do that?"
"Fear not, Draco, for the wondiferous Blaise has a plan."
Draco looked skeptical. "Wondiferous?" he said with raised eyebrows.
"Work with me here. Now listen," Blaise said. He had a rather maniacal glint in his eye. "Who's up for a game of magical Truth or Dare?"
Author's Notes: Ooh…a cliffhanger! You might have noticed that the color of the bean bag chair in this chapter was suggested by one of our wonderful reviewers. (Thank you!) We are now open for suggestions regarding the color of the bean bag chair. Because seriously…we're running out of ideas.