Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, anything CSI related or anything else in this story (except for the fact that I wrote the story itself)

Summary: Sequel to 'The Dagger in his Heart'. Read that one first or this one won't make sense. What happened next…?

Thanks so much for the reviews!

Warning! Spoilers through to series 6

PS. I use English spellings E.g. colour, jewellery, metre (just to clear up any confusion)

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Dear Gil,

I know you expected me to trash your house, and the thought did occur to me. But then again, maybe you didn't think that. Maybe you don't know me as well as I think you do. So here's a different me for you; one who won't kill you for humiliating me. As you probably guessed, I've taken back my things. What's the point in going back to a place where secrets can't be kept and the man I love tells the world about my past. I thought you loved me, and I love you. I still do, although it's tearing me up after what you did.

I never expected this from you. Who'd have thought you could do something like this to me. I thought you understood that the tape of me needed to be kept private. I trusted you, because I thought that of all people, you would understand the need for privacy. I saw the other tape too. Why? Why would you do something like that? I don't love Nick, so why do you feel like you must jeopardise his case? I know you were uncomfortable with my plan, but I thought that you wouldn't get jealous, that you would understand that there was no alternative. I guess I was wrong about you, about what we had.

It hurts me to write this letter, it'd better hurt you to read it! I hate you for this Grissom, you've turned me into a freak show for the whole world to ogle and feel sorry for. I spent my entire life fighting that reputation and you ruin it. All I want to do is hurt you. Well, at least you can't hurt me anymore. I didn't think it was possible after years of enduring the pain. My hand is shaking, can you tell from the writing? Part of me wants to just cry, another wants me to tear this up now and think that it couldn't have been you. But who else could have sent that tape? Who else had access to your email?

I can't stay here where you are. I've called Ecklie and resigned. You will never see me again Gil. This is the last you will hear of me. I hope you're happy. Actually no, I hope you regret this forever. I hope your conscience never lets you rest. I hope the guilt chokes you and you suffer like you deserve to. I sure as hell have.

I would say best wishes, but it seems inappropriate,

Sara

Grissom's hands trembled. She hated him. She was gone. He knew she couldn't have been gone long, and that her tears had dampened the paper as well as his. She thought he didn't know her, but he did. He knew that she hated how men dominated the world, that she had a temper so short that it could be set off way to easily, that she always sung 'Walking on Sunshine' in the shower, that she needed privacy too, that she hated sympathy, that she would sit in bed thinking he was asleep, stroking his grey curls while she read Jane Austen. One sentence struck him hard. Well, at least you can't hurt me anymore. Anymore? She wouldn't hurt herself…right?

"Shit!" He ran to his cell and called Catherine.

Meanwhile…

Bent over the sink of the service station restroom, Sara splashed cool water over her face. A road trip to San Francisco was all she needed to get away from it all. How could Gil betray her like this if he loved her? Why would he humiliate her if he found their time apart as difficult as she did? She heard the door swing open and the clink of boots on the tiled floor. Her mind drifted to the rest of the team, imagining them watching her as a child voicing her darkest secrets. Sara hated pity, which she knew she would receive from the team. She straightened up to examine her face in the cracked mirror; dark shadows had formed under her red eyes; she hated crying. She hastily wiped her tears as the stall behind her opened; she didn't need sympathy from strangers. Her eyes fell upon the face of the occupant, gasping as she saw the yellow eyes, the slack unshaven face, the barrel of a gun…

"Long time no see darling. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me." His eyes slid down her stiffened frame, still turned away from him, resting on her ass. "You suit adulthood, more flesh on the bones." He licked his licks and sniffed. A short silence filled the room.

Sara whipped round to see the face she had seen in her nightmares for years. He pounced, covering her mouth as she struggled. She could feel herself weakening as she refused to breathe, noticing the fine white powder on the man's finger under her nose. Desperate for air, she inhaled nasally, her nostrils burning. She struggled for a few more seconds before going limp, clutching at the man as her vision doubled and her head pounded. His voice was faint.

"That's right my precious little pony. Welcome back."

Grissom's home

"I know what you're thinking Cath, but please just drop it. We need to find Sara."

Catherine was sat on Gil's couch, her mouth hanging open as she re-read the letter in her hands. Gil had got together with a married woman, lived in fear for a fortnight, schemed with Hodges and had his relationship ruined, right under her nose! Grissom was pacing frantically, ready to wave aside any questions that Catherine would inevitably ask. Sara's letter implied a lot of things worth pulling Cath out of work for, and he wanted her found. Catherine also looked at Hodges plan in disbelief. The guy knew his stuff.

Phase One. Give her a taste to show her what she is missing. On her scheduled visits, show her exactly what she is missing out on by going ahead with her plan. I can only imagine how far you guys have gone, so go further! .

Phase Two. Save her from an awkward situation. She'll appreciate the gesture and miss you more..

Phase Three. Make a gesture of commitment. You don't need to propose or anything, maybe get a dog if she likes animals..

Phase Four. Stir up controversy with her and Nick subtly. This also accelerates her plan so she feels like she's doing the work..

Phase Five. Confront Nick. Let him know that Sara is your woman, just when he feels glad to get her out of his hair. Publically declare your love for her so she knows just how you feel. She can't refuse you..

Phase Six (optional) Name your first son David. I am saving your ass here!.

"She just sounds like she's taken a trip or moved away Gil. I don't think she's in trouble. What makes you think it's a suicide note? What could be so bad that she'd hurt herself?"

"Well, at least you can't hurt me anymore. Cath, it sounds like suicide. How can we know that she hasn't killed herself or hurt herself? This tape… the tape showed her interview when she was twelve and her father was killed. She was asked to describe her day and she told the guys that her brother had been selling her to a coke dealer. She was an addict herself at twelve because the guy would drug her up to keep her under his control! Now she thinks I sent the tape to everyone at the lab. Ecklie stopped most people seeing it, thank God, but she doesn't know that. Even if she hasn't done something, someone is still after her. He threatened me, he shot Nick. Who knows what he'll do to her!"

Catherine's mouth fell open even wider. "Gil, I swear I had no idea it was this bad. I'll call Brass and see if he'll check her old apartment, Nick's house, her old haunts. We'll find her Gil, I promise. I can't do anything because I've got Nick's case, but keep me informed. See if you can find somewhere out of town she might escape to, a holiday you discussed maybe? You have a lot of time on your hands, make use of it. I need to go to Desert Palms to check on Nick. Call me tomorrow." She rose from the couch, downed the rest of her coffee and left, leaving Grissom alone in his cold, empty house.

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Get ready for daily chapters, I am very nearly finished! Again, please R&R.