Render me Scytheless

Chapter 10: Entanglements in the Past

That night, at the office...

William muttered a few irritated curses under his breath as he filled out the first paper in a new stack that a higher-up had passed to him. All of the other reapers had already gone home, but William was just so unlucky as to be double-checking that everything was locked up when a fresh stack of work was plopped in front of him.

KNOCK KNOCK.

'Oh, thank the gods, someone's still here,' the ravenette thought in relief. "Come in." The door slowly opened, and William's slightly grateful expression snapped back into the usual stoic face the very moment he saw who it was. "What do you want, Velvet?" he growled, turning back to his paperwork.

"W-well, I thought... since I helped you yesterday, I could help you again today?" Irwin asked. "Actually... I was coming by to say good night, but... I don't want to leave you with all this work..."

SLAM.

"Velvet-!" William began in a frustrated tone as he stood up to give that kid the most terrifying scolding he could muster, when he stopped. Irwin's shocked, scared expression usually would have made him scoff, but this time, he backed down.

That had been happened a lot lately, that he would catch himself before he lost his temperature and he'd have to calm down. "Fine. Sit down across from me, and I'll give you some work," he sighed. The younger's eyes lit right up.

"Thank you, sir!"

Meanwhile...

Two red plates of spaghetti drenched in marinara sauce were placed on a red tablecloth, and Grell took the seat across from his date. "Good day today, right, hun?"

"Yeah," Rowan agreed as he picked up some of the pasta and observed it for a good few minutes before finally trying it. Grell's cooking was suprisingly good.

"Hey, hun?" Grell murmured, playing around with the noodles on his fork. "Forgive me if this is a hard question for you, but... what was your life like?"

"My life?" Rowan repeated after swallowing. "You mean, pre-shinigami?" The redhead nodded, and the younger reaper tried to remember. "Mm... I don't remember too much. It feels like it was eons ago. I was... a painter."

"Painter?"

"Well... I was an aspiring painter," he said. "Like I said, I don't remember much. I used to paint... dark scenes. Things that people didn't like. I was certain that with the intrest in painting lately, and the acceptance of things... that my work would be accepted, too, but it wasn't. No one wanted to buy my art. But I was so focused on it... I refused to stop. I think I... eventually... starved to death."

Grell gave a considering nod. "Well, it's not the easiest way to go, that's for certain," he said, reaching across the table to cover Rowan's hand. "But I understand what it's like to feel unaccepted." Rowan stopped eating, knowing what was to come. Of course, he'd wondered about Grell's past. It wasn't hard to guess what had happened, but Rowan wanted Grell to say it himself; after all, he was also glad that the redhead was already comfortable enough to share this with him. And so, he braced himself. "Well, my memories begin way back in my teen years...," Grell sighed.

"I was always uncomfortable in my own skin," the redhead murmured, folding his arms on the table. "I never liked the clothes my parents put me in - the drab, gray or brown clothing, and my shoes seemed to make me even shorter than I already was. My red hair stood out at school. And the fact that I was attracted to other boys only made things worse. I was an outcast. No one wanted to be seen with me. No one wanted to be my friend." The tears that began to accumulate in the older reaper's eyes almost sent Rowan into a panic. He had no idea how to handle this sort of thing - he'd never comforted someone who was crying. But... somehow... it was okay. He stood, and walked over to the redhead, then began to embrace him, soothingly rubbing his back. "It wasn't uncommon that some of the other boys would come over and beat me down. They'd leave me in a place where people didn't often come by, and the next day, I could hear them bragging about the feat. I never finished school. One day, I came home, and my father was angry. He'd been laid off at work, my mother was in the hospital with some illness... and he came home to find me wearing one of her dresses. I had been frustrated, too, always wearing such drab clothes - and I always thought my mother looked so pretty in her dresses. Well... that day was the first day that he hit me."

"... Who killed you, Grell-senpai?"

"Three months later... my mother died in the hospital, and my father strangled me to death." Rowan picked up a red napkin and carefully dabbed at the other's eyes, knowing that Grell would only get more frustrated if he saw that his makeup was running. "I'm okay, dear...," Grell whispered, "I... I was the one to reap his soul later, after all..." An inhuman smile crept over the redhead's face, and he nodded to himself. "That's right... it doesn't matter anymore. Besides, Rowan... I have you."

The younger allowed the kiss that came soon after, and he let the older male pull him up to sit in his lap. Grell was being as gentle as possible, and Rowan could tell that he was doing his best not to be forceful. He sighed into the kiss, draping his arms around the other's shoulders, and when Grell pulled back again, his smile was fast to reclaim possession of his expression. The brightness of his acidic eyes... the allure of his sharp, white teeth... Everything pulled Rowan in. It was that expression - the one that started his relationship with Grell, and the one that ensured its security.

"Rowan, hun...," Grell whispered, his arms laced about the other's waist. "Being unaccepted is part of being a reaper. Will was the awkward little nerd who children would tease, Ronald was the baby-faced young man who was teased for his childish personality. Undertaker, too, wasn't accepted in youth. We reapers are the souls who didn't fit in society. The ones who should've been saved instead of reaped... whose souls were taken too soon. We lost all the years that could have been... and in return, we're granted immortality. It's all part of the job."

"Grell-senpai...," Rowan murmured, before hugging the older reaper tighter to him, "but... there's so many of us..."

"Even the higher-ups still make the mistake of taking souls that should be exempt to the rule. Everyone makes that mistake, because that potential doesn't often shine through. If we had lived, we could have tried to change the world. But you know... people might not have listened to what we have to say. 'Don't fear rejection, and live a life where emotion can't tamper with the greatness you withhold.' Did you know? William said that to me, years ago."

"Will-senpai did?" Rowan murmured.

"Yes... but I think I understand better than he does," Grell said, grinning wider still. "Don't let negative emotions get to you. Find love, find happiness. Don't let anger and sadness ruin what could be."

"Wow, senpai...," Rowan breathed, "I didn't know you were so..." The redhead waited in anticipation as Rowan awkwardly paused. He knew that Grell was just waiting to be praised. "I didn't know you were so experienced. It's amazing that someone so beautiful can also be so wise."

The older reaper was sent into a state of shock, so happy to be complimented. His face slowly turned red, and he looked away for a moment, before hugging the young reaper tighter than ever and burying his head on Rowan's shoulder. "Thank you," he whispered. "That's the first time anyone has... I just really... thank you."

"You're welcome, Grell-senpai," whispered Rowan.

"Rowan...," Grell breathed, his voice more gentle than it had ever been. The redhead looked up, and his expression showed just a hint of nervousness. "Rowan, I love you."

The young reaper froze, his breath catching in his throat as the words that meant so much were spoken to him. Had he ever heard that phrase before? Had anyone ever said that they loved him? Anyone?

"Grell... I...," he stuttered, but his voice broke on him. He wanted to return the affection, but he wasn't quite sure how. It was as though he'd forgotten how to speak. Was it even possible for a reaper to say those precious words? After all, the older redhead was indeed the exception to nearly every rule. Maybe it was impossible for him... maybe he couldn't... Because Grell had completely stolen his breath away.

'Don't fear rejection.'

And as he looked at the older reaper, who continued to watch him, agonized by the time that continued to elapse mercilessly between them. 'It's okay,' Rowan wanted to assure. 'I feel the same way. Don't you remember that you told me that? That you told me you wouldn't fear rejection... and yet look at you now, senpai. You look as if you're going to burst any moment.'

"... It's okay," Grell said eventually, closing his eyes. "I'm fine, hun." He somehow managed to pick the younger up, and he slowly placed him back down on the ground, before standing up and walking away. "I'll clean up dinner later," he called.

Rowan looked down, ashamed of himself.

'Redbridge... what have you done?'

-End Chapter

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