I can't do it. It's not like I don't respect and even love louis, but I can't fucking do it.
I wanna cut.
I wanna cut.
I wanna die.
Maybe I should kill myself.
Maybe Niall will love me then right?
No one loves you til you're dead.
i'm interrupted by a knock at the door.
There are tears streaming down my face.
I can't and won't open that door.
But it's Louis, and he opens it himself anyways.
"Harry? Are you okay?" He asks timidly, his eyes scanning the room for me until he finds the lump of flesh and clothes in the corner behind the bed.
He's not sure if I'm awake or even alive until my body shakes with a silent sob.
"Oh, Harry!" Louis half whispers, half screams as his body walks over and warmly embraces me.
I whimper and whisper "No"
He pauses and asks, "What do you mean?"
"No I'm not okay" I sit up and show him the full bottle of pills clenched in my shaking hand. "I was going to take all of these"
"Oh my god, Harry!" Louis exclaimed. He hugged me tighter and whispered "We will get through this".
I listened to him and acknowledged that he thought I could get better.
I don't think I'll ever get better.
And as he cooed me to sleep, telling me that I am fine, I realized I'm really not fine at all.
And no one can help me-
I've been dead for a while now.