May 9th, 1953

Edward spent another couple of days in Resembool. He was reluctant to leave Winry again, even knowing that she would be following on the train only a few days behind. He couldn't wait that long to return himself though or he was unlikely to have a job when he got home. He wasn't willing to assume he still would when he got back anyway. His call to Alphonse had confirmed that his brother and Gracia had guessed where he had gone, and that Breda was hopping mad for Ed running off without any notice what-so-ever! Al, bless him, had promised to cover and try and smooth the situation over a little while Ed got a much needed reprieve from the hell he had created for himself.

Time here was a healing experience, and watching Aldon and Cassie and their growing family helped Ed feel an inner peace he had thought was gone forever. Coran was thrilled to see him and wanted to play. Ed felt pathetic that he could barely keep up with the boy. The symptoms of withdrawal only got worse over the next few days, and on top of that he was easily winded and his heart would race erratically if he tried to do too much. So he took it easy and read Coran dozens of story books in the rocking chair in the living room. He cuddled Reichart as much as he could too.

It also gave Ed a chance to explore the changes to the house that Aldon and Cassie had made. He approved of all of them. He complimented the garden that Winry and Cassie had worked lately on putting in on the side for vegetables and herbs.

"Just wait until I finish my new project," Aldon chuckled the afternoon before Ed planned to leave the next morning. He and Ed were in Aldon's workshop. His son unrolled a large blueprint that was only about half finished. It was a playground, only it was much more interesting and intricate than the ones Ed saw in the parks in Central.

"You know every kid in the neighborhood will be over here right?" Ed teased.

"That's the idea," Aldon grinned. "Then we'll always know where the boys are."

Ed liked that. He still remembered the harrowing night he had pulled Sara from the river when she wasn't that much older than Coran was now. "It's going to take a lot of work." Actually, it looked like a lot of fun.

"Yeah I know," Aldon chuckled. "But it's something that will keep me busy. You know," he added with a knowing smirk, "It would also give you an excuse to come back before the boys get too big. We could work on it together. I won't be ready to start it for a while."

"I'd like that," Ed replied. The idea of working on a project with Aldon was appealing. He was touched that his son wanted him to help, given he had always worked on projects with Winry growing up. Ed also enjoyed doing work the old fashioned way; with his hands. It was something he rarely got to do anymore. "It's a deal."

That evening Winry insisted on doing some basic maintenance on Ed's arm and leg. "What have you been doing to these?" she scolded gently as she tightened bolts, replaced a couple of wires and gave both limbs a thorough internal cleaning. 'It looks like they haven't been maintained since…" she dropped off then and Ed felt mildly guilty. He hadn't been maintaining them since she left. Winry had designed the auto-mail, and doing anything with it had reminded him of her. Mostly though, he had been too self-absorbed and depressed to care or even remember that they needed cleaning.

The last surprise that evening was from Cassie. She presented him with a large framed canvas, and Ed thought he was going to cry. It was the painting he had requested when she was still pregnant with Coran – complete and amazingly perfect. "It looks just like the house," Ed gasped. "Even all the flowers are in the right places."

"You gave me a very good description," Cassie beamed, obviously glad that he liked it. "And when I sat up on the hill, I could almost see it. There were also some photos around here I could use for reference," she admitted.

"It's beautiful," Winry peered over Ed's shoulder. "That's just how I remember it too."

That night, Edward curled up around Winry in bed. They didn't have sex. They hadn't the entire time he was here, but it no longer mattered. That wasn't what Ed had missed, and it wasn't even what he wanted most. He had Winry, and that was all that counted. As long as she was there, he could face the hard road ahead and the many things he was going to have to fix, starting with his family.

May 15th, 1953

It was a warm, gray, misting afternoon in Central when Edward got back into town. The train ride back had been quiet and uncomfortable. He had spent a lot of that time sick to his stomach and achy, and so he had slept a lot and done his best to avoid the dining car. He made it through the trip without a drink and considered it a success that he survived.

His first stop in Central wasn't the house. No one was there and he still only had his one bag. The painting would come up with the rest of the luggage when Winry came home. Ed headed straight for Gracia's. Ethan should be home from school and he desperately wanted to speak to his son. Assuming, of course, that Gracia would even let him into the house.

Ed was suspicious that Winry had called ahead when Gracia answered the door and actually smiled when she saw him. "Welcome home, Edward."

"Hi. Thanks," Ed walked passed her into the house. "May I speak to Ethan?" He knew he didn't technically have to ask, but he remembered vaguely the call from Central High asking if Gracia had permission to get information from the office, and practically blowing them off with an answer that almost boiled down to 'yeah, sure, whatever.' He wasn't looking forward to seeing what Ethan's teachers thought of him the next time there was any kind of parent night.

"He's upstairs," Gracia nodded simply. "It's up to him if he lets you in or not."

Ed headed upstairs. He knew which room Gracia meant. It used to be Elicia's and had been a guest room for years. He knocked on the door and waited until he heard what sounded like an affirmative grunt on the other side of the door. Taking that for an okay, Ed entered.

Ethan was lying on the bed on his back, his knees bent and a book propped up against them. From the angle he was at, all Ed could see at first were his knees and the book, but then he shifted and sat up, and Ed got a good look at his son. He felt immediately guilty. It was easy to forget, because of his strong spirit, that Ethan was as susceptible to the stresses of difficulty as anyone else, and that he had begun life struggling more than many; born early and small. He looked better than Ed did, but that was a matter of magnitude. It was obvious that Ethan had been dealing with a lot of his own stress watching Ed and Winry tear away at each other day after day until Winry had left. The rumors and Ed's behavior couldn't have been easy on him either. Where as once Ethan would have bounded off the bed and greeted Ed with an enthusiastic hug, he now looked at Ed with an oddly neutral expression.

Ed swallowed. "Hi."

Ethan nodded. "Hello….sir."

"I deserve that," Ed sighed, hope fading. "I suppose a hug is out of the question."

"Is Mom with you?" Ethan asked.

"No," Ed admitted feeling like he was somehow letting down his son again. "But she said she's coming home."

That seemed to be what Ethan was waiting for, his rigid spine relaxed and he sighed. "So you're not gonna… you know?"

Get a divorce? Ed couldn't say the word out loud either. "Not if we can help it!" he shook his head and smiled, but Ethan did not look amused at his attempt to joke. "Your mom and I still love each other. I can't promise everything's going to be all right as soon as she gets home, but we're going to make things work." He moved to sit down on the bed as he spoke and Ethan did not object. It occurred to Ed as he looked at the boy on the bed that Ethan looked both somehow older than Ed remembered, and yet younger and more vulnerable at the same time. "I'm really sorry, Ethan. I never meant to hurt any of you. It's the last thing I wanted. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, Dad," Ethan nodded. He looked like he might cry, but Ed knew better. Ethan cried the way Ed cried; rarely and usually by himself. "I'm glad you're going to be okay."

"Eventually," Ed agreed with a weak smile. "It's not going to be easy. I've got a lot of problems to work through. We both do."

It was clear from Ethan's expression that he understood. It was strange to see Ethan looking so vulnerable. His son was no longer the light-hearted, idealist Ed remembered. His confidence seemed badly shaken. As Ed watched though, Ethan seemed to pull courage from somewhere and met his gaze evenly. "I noticed. This means you're going to stop getting plastered every night right?"

"That's the idea," Ed sighed. He couldn't guarantee he might not slip and fall, though he wished he could. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to make it, as much as it pained him to admit that much weakness. At least he had succeeded so far.

Ethan seemed to notice the slight hesitation. "I wish I knew how to help," he said finally. "Maybe there was something I could have said…something that could have stopped this…maybe?" He seemed to be searching for answers to questions months old.

Ed shook his head. "It's not your fault. You can talk all day and if the person isn't listening than it doesn't do any good. Alphonse knew what to say. So did Winry. Even the counselors would have if I'd been honest. I just… I don't listen very well sometimes."

"What finally got through?" Ethan asked.

"Hearing the word jackass come out of Gracia's mouth," Ed smirked weakly. Okay, so that had been only one of them, but she had been the only one brave enough to come right out and force the issues that needed it, running roughshod over his weak arguments. Ed couldn't deny what she had said, and she hadn't been afraid to tell him straight the things he knew but didn't want to hear in a way he couldn't really ignore. "I owe her a lot of thanks."

"She's been great," Ethan nodded with a small smile.

"You know can come home whenever you want," Ed offered hopefully "We're still a family."

Ethan nodded. "Soon maybe. It's peaceful here." Then his smile widened some. "Though you'll probably need some help getting the house put back together before Mom gets home."

Ed cringed. The house was an absolute wreck. "You've seen it?" he asked, feeling something leaden in the pit of his stomach.

"Repeatedly," Ethan admitted, his expression going serious again. "I came over a few times to get things. Not that you'd remember. You were usually passed out by then."

"I owe you an apology possibly more than almost anyone else," Ed sighed, making himself look into Ethan's still slightly distant gaze. "I know in your place I'd have kicked my old man's ass for saying any of those things to my mother." Hell he'd tried to beat him bloody on sight anyway!

"I wanted to," Ethan admitted, looking embarrassed. "But I… I was afraid of what would happen if it turned into a real fight." Ed probably would have handed the kid his teeth easily enough if he was as enraged as he had gotten at times. He felt ashamed as Ethan went on. "It was easier to just put up with all the slander and the taunting. Do you know that half of the school believes the rumors that you used to beat Mom regularly?"

"Which half?" Ed wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

"The stupid half," Ethan finally cracked a smile as he shifted and sat next to Ed with his legs off the bed. "You may be an ass sometimes, but you're not that kind of guy."

"Gee, thanks," Ed couldn't help but smile though. "Maybe I should let you be the one to talk to Breda for me tomorrow."

Ethan winced. "I think I'd rather stand back and watch the fireworks."

"Can you forgive me?" Ed finally asked. He thought so, but he wanted to be certain.

Ethan eyed him for a moment. Then the hard-ass teen act vanished as he leaned in and hugged Ed tightly. "Just don't forget about the dog again, okay?"

Ed returned the hug with a feeling of immense relief. "Yeah, I think I can promise you that much."

When Ed went back downstairs, Gracia was in the living room watering her plants. Ed had something that needed saying, and he wasn't going to put it off any longer. "Gracia, I want to say thank you and…I'm sorry. You were right. I couldn't ignore the truth when you got up in my face about it."

"Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it," Gracia smiled back understandingly, "And who says it. Remember, I was dating Maes when Ishbal happened. When it was over, a lot of his friends had problems too, and it tore him up to see it. You wouldn't be the first person I've shocked sense into."

Ed was surprised when she actually winked at him. He couldn't help but smile a little. "You're a real classy lady, Gracia."

"You don't have to leave you know," she said, apparently aware that he was about to move for the door.

"Yeah, I do," Ed shook his head, though his objection was mild. "I want to talk to Al and Elicia tonight. I've been terrible to them, and my conscience won't let me sleep tonight otherwise."

"Well all right, if your conscience insists," Gracia chuckled softly. "But we'll see you tomorrow. That's not a request."

Ed smiled weakly and offered her a jaunty salute. "Yes ma'am."

It had started out a humbling afternoon, and Ed was sure it was going to just get more so. His only phone conversation with Al, despite his brother's reassurances, had been brief and a little awkward. He was almost expecting to have to beg Al – or more likely Elicia – to let him talk to them.

He needn't have worried. Al opened the door and smiled. "Brother!" Moments later Ed was the recipient of a very large, squashing hug. "Come on in," Al offered when he set Ed back on the pavement. "Are you all right, Ed?" he asked as they went inside and Ed sat down on the couch. Al put on tea. "You look pale."

"Withdrawal will do that." That's all Ed really felt like saying on the subject. He hoped Al wouldn't push it. That was the least of his problems. He hadn't had a drink since before arriving in Resembool, but stopping had proven much more difficult than last time. It was no longer a matter of just choosing. He wasn't sleeping well, he shook sometimes, and he never knew when a wave of nausea would hit him. All of these were symptoms he had been warned to expect, and he was just glad they weren't more severe. If he was any more irritable or depressed than usual, Ed couldn't really tell. He had been irritable and depressed for months.

Fortunately, Al seemed to get all the information he needed from that statement. "How's Winry?" It was a loaded question Ed knew. He was sure Winry had probably called Elicia as soon as he left Resembool.

"A lot better," Ed was glad he could smile. "We talked a lot and…she's coming home."

Al visibly relaxed, a smile spreading over his face. "Thank goodness. I've been really worried." Maybe she hadn't called after all? Ed wondered if he was just being paranoid. That was dumb.

"About Winry?" he asked.

"About both of you," Al gave him a mock-glare. "You had me scared, Ed."

"Scared?" Ed had gotten worried and irritated from people. "What did you think I was going to do, Al?" Alphonse hadn't really thought he'd do something stupid did he? Well, the fact that he had didn't count. No one knew about that.

"More like what you'd already done," Al sobered. "Have you looked in a mirror, Ed? I mean looked…at your eyes. When you weren't scaring the students, you looked like you were already dead inside."

That was a harsh and rather terrifying statement. "Were. I don't now?"

Al shook his head. "Not anymore. You look like death warmed over maybe," he smirked. "But that look is gone."

"I'll take it that it's an improvement," Ed replied, swallowing his pride one more time. "I'm sorry, Al. After everything we've been through together, especially the war, I've put you through hell, haven't I? I never should have let you—"

"Stop right there," Al held up a hand and shook his head. "I appreciate that you feel bad, Ed, and you've been treating everyone like crap lately. But I won't let you take the blame for my insisting on going with you to Aerugo. It was my decision, and I'll live with the consequences."

"I don't deserve a brother like you, Al," Ed sighed, though he was imminently grateful for him.

"I know," Al smiled. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," Ed shrugged. "I haven't had much of an appetite lately." It was kind of embarrassing to admit.

"Well you'll have to find it," Elicia said briskly as she came into the room, "Because you're staying for dinner. You look thin as a rail, and Winry will kill us all if she comes home and finds that you died of starvation after coming to your senses."

"Yes ma'am," Ed smiled weakly. He just hoped it wasn't anything too heavy or difficult to digest. "What are we having?"

"Herbed chicken and roasted vegetables," Elicia replied.

"Has Winry called?" Ed dared to ask as he and Al both stood and went to sit at the table. Upstairs, Ed heard a door close and Alyse's feet on the carpeted stairs as she came down.

"Maybe," Elicia replied with a look that said if she had, it was girl talk.

Al shrugged. "Don't be worried, Ed. Elicia won't tell me what Winry said either."

Alyse came downstairs, and paused when she saw them. "Hello, Uncle Edward." She didn't seem too sure of what to make of his appearance in their house.

"Hello, Alyse," Ed smiled. It was all he could do. Alyse and Ethan were very close, and he suspected his niece had been affected by his stupidity as well just by being related.

After another moment she smiled tentatively and joined them at the table. Dinner was quiet, but for once it wasn't strained. Ed talked a little bit about going down and talking to Winry; Aldon and Cassie and what they had done with the Resembool house; and plans for the next few days. "I need to get the house back in order," he admitted, though he did not say just how trashed he had left it. A nod from Alphonse and the look in his brother's eyes told Ed that Al had seen the mess. "And I need to report in to work tomorrow before Breda has my hide."

"Which he might anyway," Al admitted with a sigh. "He's still not happy, Ed."

"I didn't figure he was." He would face that problem tomorrow though after a full night's sleep. Ed did his best to eat everything on his plate. Fortunately Elicia had not served him huge portions and when he was done he found his stomach reasonably settled despite its unease of late. "Thanks for dinner, Elicia," he said honestly as he got ready to go a little later.

"You'd better be here every night till Winry gets back," she said firmly, then hugged him. "We'll have Gracia and Ethan over too."

Ed chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

May 16th, 1953

Edward slept downstairs in Ethan's room at the house that night. He couldn't make himself go upstairs, and he didn't sleep until he had locked the liquor cabinet in the kitchen. He figured that would be enough to keep him from forgetting. Then he slept deeply all night, with very few dreams that he remembered at all the next morning, and woke feeling better than he had in a while. He missed Winry, but he kept reminding himself that she would be back only a couple of weeks behind him and that there was plenty to do to keep him busy until then.

The first was to face Breda's wrath at work. Ed decided it would be best to dress up for his dressing down and pulled on his uniform. He had gotten almost too used to it in the past couple of years. Now it made him feel uneasy, but that wasn't the feel of it. Ed cleaned up and – wishing he looked a little less like walking death – drove over to Headquarters.

There was a note on his desk from Breda's office already – dated that morning – telling him to come upstairs for a meeting. Ed made no attempts to avoid the inevitable. He just went upstairs. There were some furtive glances from the staff as he went through the room. A couple of them were surprised to see him. Feury and Falman looked relieved. Franz Heimler's face was carefully schooled into a lack of emotion. No one actually spoke to him.

Ed ignored them and closed the door, turned, and came to stand at attention on front of Breda's desk. "General Edward Elric reporting for duty, Sir," he said with some resignation. "I'm here and ready for whatever reprimand you see fitting. I'm sorry I forgot to file for leave."

Breda's expression was stony. "You really think I'm this mad at one of our best Generals for forgetting to file leave papers before completely vanishing for two weeks while we are still technically at war?"

Wasn't that why he was in trouble? Ed nodded. "Yes, actually. So what did you have in mind then? Stripping me of my rank? Court-martial? I'll take whatever you want to hit me with without complaint, Breda. I did what I had to."

Again Breda had no reaction to Ed's words. His expression, if anything, simply darkened as his keen eyes looked into Ed's face. "Edward, how many times over the years have you lied during psych evaluations?"

What? This really wasn't where Ed had expected this conversation to go. "Define lied."

Breda snorted. "Falsified or left out critical information that might have led to a different outcome... like the fact you were having marital problems."

"They never asked how Winry and I were doing." Ed didn't really want to get into this, not after everything else.

"Dodging the question falls into the same category," Breda frowned. "You don't have to get defensive with me, Ed. But the only reason I didn't make you take extended leave after you got back was because it looked like you were doing okay even with the usual post-war stress." Ed had been entirely honest this go-around about the nightmares and his regrets about the war and the things he had been required to do. It was all in the reports.

"Then you don't need to ask why I didn't want to be at home all day," Ed pointed out. "Is that what I'm getting then, forced leave?"

"Would it do any good? I'm not sure leaving you by yourself is any better at this point. No," Breda shook his head. "That might end up being part of it. The Assembly wants me to make an example of you. They've been on me for a while about how it looks for one of our highest profile officers to be one of the biggest gossip topics in Central." Breda rolled his eyes. "Fortunately for you and me, they order me around about as much as I order them." This meant, of course, not at all. "What I am going to do is make you submit to a full physical and psychiatric evaluation again and whatever measures beyond that the counselor suggests. And this time you will be entirely forthcoming or I'll have no choice but to have you medically discharged." He was dead serious.

"And if they decide I'm a wreck anyway?" They would, Ed really had no doubt of that.

"Then we'll talk." Breda sighed, watching him for a long minute. "So… how's Winry?"

"Coming home," Ed smiled weakly, "And a mile ahead of you as far as setting conditions."

"I'm glad to hear it…on both counts," Breda nodded back. "You look like shit, Ed."

"I feel worse," Ed smirked. He had looked in the mirror that morning. Even in uniform with his hair combed he looked pretty pathetic. "No, I'll do what you want without arguing. I promised Winry too."

"Then I'll take that as a good enough assurance of your renewed good behavior," Breda said, "At least for now."

"Yes, Sir," Ed nodded. He really wasn't going to argue. The last thing he wanted was to get ousted over this. "So what does that mean in the short term?"

"It means I expect you to get your affairs in order so I don't have to do something I'll regret," Breda replied. "Consider yourself on probationary leave until we get the results back from your evaluations."

Ed nodded. "Yes, Sir. Thanks," he added. Probationary meant he wouldn't be teaching, but it didn't technically ban him from Headquarters. If he needed to get out of the empty house he could hide out in his office.

"Don't thank me," Breda shook his head. "If I'd had any sense I'd have had you in here sooner."

"What would you have done?" Ed asked.

The pained look on Breda's face surprised him. "That's been the problem all along, Ed. I don't know. I just didn't want to do anything that might make the situation worse."

On his way back out of the office, Ed motioned to Franz. "Lieutenant Colonel, could I speak to you in private?"

Franz gave him a completely professional nod. "Yes, General." He stood up and followed Ed out into the hallway. No one was there, so Ed figured it was good enough. He felt embarrassed but this was necessary.

"I was wondering if you could be oh, a few minutes late getting home this evening?" Ed got straight to the point. "Please," he added humbly. "I need to talk to Sara, to apologize, but I think it's better done somewhere other than here."

Franz nodded and actually smiled. "I think that's a good idea. I have plenty to do here. Getting a little extra work done this evening certainly won't hurt anything."

"Thank you." Ed smiled and he hoped that it was clear that his thanks were for more than that. Franz was the one who took care of Sara now and made sure she felt loved and appreciated. By all rights Franz should probably hate him, but Ed remembered a story in a letter once that Sara had shown him, and knew Franz understood.

"You're welcome," Franz replied before heading back into the office.

At that point there was little to do until evening. Ed stopped by his office long enough to throw out the dangerous contents of one desk drawer, then went back to the house and found 'new homes' for most of the quality bottles in the liquor cabinet. Anything that didn't get dropped at a friend's house was summarily dumped down the drain.

Ed changed out of uniform as soon as he got home. There was no point in wearing it around town after all. He puttered around the house for the rest of the afternoon. He threw away the spoiled food in the refrigerator and took out as much trash as he could fit in the cans. A trip to the dump could be managed later. He wasn't in the mood to clean much else, so he took a walk around the neighborhood and then stopped off at one of the little restaurants in town for a light lunch. Just a sandwich and a soda, but it was something. He felt pretty wiped by the time he got home, so he lay down for a short nap that turned into three hours.

Finally it was time. Ed screwed up his courage and headed over to Sara's apartment.

When Sara opened the door she frowned darkly. "So are you here to order me around my own apartment? Or are you here to exterminate vermin? If so, leaving should fix the problem."

"Ouch. All right, I deserved that." He was not going to lose his temper. "May I come in? We need to talk."

Sara's expression did not change. "Oh now we need to talk? Where was this a few months ago; or even weeks?"

"Look I know I've been a bastard," Ed scowled, "But let's at least be reasonable okay?"

"If you remember what that means." Sara stepped out of the way and let him in though.

Ed had known this would be the most difficult apology outside of Winry. Sara was as stubborn as he was, and she had been forced to deal with him most. Aldon and Winry had warned him she was truly angry and upset, especially given how close they had been until recently. He came in as she closed the door behind him but he didn't try and sit down.

He sighed. A little dose of humility was good for the soul. He just had to keep telling himself that. Maybe someday he'd believe it. "Look, if you don't want me to stay, I'll make this brief. I just came over to apologize. I'm sorry for what I've done to you, what I've done to our family. I can't take it back. I can't erase the pain I've caused you or ask you to pretend it never happened. All I'm asking for is forgiveness, someday, and another chance, but it's your decision. You're my daughter, and no matter what you decide I'll still love you." It wasn't pretty or flowery; it was just an awkward apology. He stood there waiting to be ejected from the apartment.

"Nice speech." He wasn't sure what to read in her expression. Like most military officers, Sara excelled at hiding her emotions, even from him.

Ed shrugged "Look, if it makes you feel any better you can laugh at me while you watch me suffer for the next few weeks but please, let's keep things civil at least."

"Why should I?" It wasn't a petulant question, but Sara wasn't making this easy on him.

"Because Winry's suffered enough," Ed replied, "and Ethan. Aldon too," he added, though he was even more grateful that his middle son had not inherited his emotional framework. Aldon had been the most rational and understanding of the three throughout the entire ordeal. "I don't know if I deserve your forgiveness or not. Maybe that's my loss in all this. It would be a fair price in equivalency."

Sara snorted. "How do you figure that?"

"Because I'd rather have died than lose you," Ed met her eyes evenly, "Or lost another limb. Anything but what I've already lost through my own stupidity."

"So that's it then. Mom agrees to come home and you do some amazing one-eighty." Sara's expression was pained. "We've been in this position before, Dad. Maybe not exactly the same, but you used to listen to me, to respect my opinions. I was just a girl then, but you gave my words more weight than you do now. You flat out ignored me. You degraded me, and you made it personal and professional."

"I know. Like I said, I'm not really expecting forgiveness," Ed replied, feeling resignation settle in his stomach. "You were right. Hell, everyone was right except me." He sighed and stepped towards the door. "I should go."

"Why?"

"Ethan and I are getting the house straightened up before your Mom comes home," he explained, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. "It's a little neglected. I expect it will take a few days. If you feel like coming by, we'd love to have you." He opened the door and stepped out. Sara didn't say anything as he closed the door behind him.

Ed stood on the landing for a moment, refusing to let the heartache he felt overwhelm him, but knowing he had done what he could to start mending things. This was the hard part; trying to put together something when it had been torn to pieces. It was something Ed excelled at with alchemy: determine the composition, destruction, and reconstruction. It was simple if it was just a transmutation. Reconstructing the tattered remains of a life was much more difficult.

May 17th, 1953

Ethan took off school on Wednesday and he and Edward hit the house full force. They made a couple of trips to the dump to get rid of the mess when even the trash collectors wouldn't take all of because it overflowed the trash cans. Then they got down to work on the serious stuff. A little judicious use of alchemy on Ethan's part fixed the broken mirror and the tear in the couch. It also turned out to be necessary to get several stains out of the couch, the throw rug, and the wood of the floors.

They scrubbed dishes and counters and washed and folded laundry. The floors got a long overdue mopping and Ethan climbed up and dusted the book shelves. It took most of the day to do just the main part of the downstairs. Ethan refused to do the downstairs bathroom, declaring it disgusting and letting Ed handle it.

In the mid-afternoon there was a knock on the door, and Ethan let Sara in. She looked around the house as if she was expecting a disaster area.

"It was worse this morning," Ed said with a wry smile. "I'm glad you came."

"Franz told me if I didn't I'd regret it later," Sara admitted with a shrug then she finally smiled for the first time Ed had seen – aimed at him – in a while. "He was right."

"I knew I liked that boy," Ed chuckled.

"So, what can I do?" Sara asked

"Well, there's a whole garden of weeds out back," Ed replied. "And Winry wants to put in an herb garden in that back corner, so we should really make sure everything's good to go out back too."

"Herb garden, huh," Sara glanced out the back windows.

"New hobby," Ed gave by way of explanation. If Winry wanted to share the details of her new life change with Sara, she could do it herself. That was personal.

"I'll get the gardening gloves." Sara didn't ask any more questions but headed into the kitchen. Winry kept the gloves and basic gardening tools in a bottom cabinet near the back door.

Ed finished folding kitchen towels and went to put them away in a drawer. When he entered the kitchen, Sara had the upper cabinet open and was looking inside. "Checking up on me?" Ed asked. Not that he really needed to since the answer was obvious.

"Can you blame me?" Sara asked, looking sheepish as she closed the cabinet.

No, he couldn't. "You won't find anything. I got rid of it; every drop."

"Where did it go?"

"I gave the good stuff away, dumped the rest," Ed shrugged. "I couldn't stand having it in the house anymore. It was too easy."

Instead of a sarcastic remark or an I told you so – both of which Ed would have expected and would have been his daughter's right – Sara looked crestfallen. "I hoped it hadn't gotten that bad."

"Well it has." Ed sighed. Then he smirked. "I've had this conversation so many times lately it might just been easier to call a press conference."

"You'd put yourself up for public embarrassment like that?" Sara looked startled.

"Do you think there's anybody at Central Headquarters who doesn't know? I've never exactly been subtle." The news media had run gloriously all over his life with the news that Winry had left. The rumors about him made the reality seem tame.

"No, you haven't. You never really had to say anything. It's usually pretty obvious when there's something wrong," Sara admitted. She bent down and pulled out the gardening gloves and a trowel. When she stood up again, there were tears in her eyes. "You know I still love you right, Dad?"

"Yeah," Ed replied softly, his throat tightening a little with emotion too. "I know."