Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.
Tycoon Lagoon or Scars in their Eyes
Narrator: Our heroes' vacation in Moosylvania has turned from dangerous to... somewhat promising?
Bullwinkle: It sure is! And this is all thanks to my pal, Rocky, and my three new friends.
Narrator: Apparently Fearless Leader and his cronies, Boris and Natasha, are somehow Bullwinkle's "three new friends".
Bullwinkle: Yep. So is anyone up for some beach ball or tennis or somethin'?
Boris: Can Natasha and I use your head as the ball?
Natasha: Or maybe a bomb?
Bullwinkle: Uh, no.
Boris: Aw, phooey!
Fearless Leader: Moose, if you want island tourism, we have some important work to do.
Rocky: I agree with Fearless Leader. Wow, that felt really weird...
Natasha: You'll get used to it after a while, Squirrel.
Rocky: I doubt it.
Boris suddenly thinks of an idea and raises his hand.
Boris: I think we should open up a gambling district!
Bullwinkle: I dunno... that idea sounds kind of risky.
Boris: Well, it's gambling. What else do you expect?
Narrator: Eventually they all agree on a sure fire way to attract some tourists. Okay, so maybe Boris didn't agree...
Boris is at a murky lagoon under the rickety bridge from the previous segment. He is complaining while holding a monster costume that has somewhat amphibious appearance.
Boris: Aw, come on, Fearless Leader. Do I really have to go in there? And in this creature feature suit?
Fearless Leader: Jawohl. We need somevun to be the Creature of the Lurky Lagoon. You're the only vun who is small enough to fit in the costume.
Boris: Small enough? That doesn't even make any sense. You're thinner than me.
Fearless Leader: Yes, but I'm much taller than you.
Boris: All right, but what about Squirrel? He ees the same size as me. Make him suffer instead!
Fearless Leader: I can't, Badenov. Besides Squirrel, look at who else we have to deal with here.
Bullwinkle excitedly rushes in with his ukulele.
Bullwinkle: Hi, fellas!
He proceeds to fall in a patch of oddly tinted leaves.
Bullwinkle: Heh, I guess I slipped... wait, why do I feel itchy all of a sudden?
Narrator: You fell in poison ivy.
Bullwinkle: Oh, okay- aaaahhh, it itches!!
Fearless Leader: See what I mean, Boris?
Boris: All right, you win, boss... but I'd much rather be a pirate.
Narrator: Boris immediately gets out a pirate hat and eye patch. Of course, his pet parrot is still at the Pottsylvanian laundromat, but at least he's trying.
Boris: Arrrr! Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of-
Fearless Leader: Badenov, please. Stop that or else I will send you to Davy Jones' Locker, the Flying Dutchman, and a giant squid. Simultaneously.
Boris: Righto, matey... uh, sir...
Narrator: He grudgingly walks into the lagoon in the costume while muttering pirate phrases and expressions.
Natasha: Dollink, where is secret formula that you were talking about in previous segments?
Fearless Leader: Mr. Big probably has it.
Boris: But where ees Mr. Big?
Narrator: That's a very good question.
Narrator: Well, Mr. Big the pint sized minion is wandering around the island.
Mr. Big: All I have to do is give this secret formula to Fearless Leader... wherever he is.
Narrator: Suddenly, a comparatively giant sized pelican swoops down and scoops up the secret formula jar!
Pelican: *gulp*
Narrator: The curious bird roosts in a palm tree, where Mr. Big is unable to reach for the swiped secret formula as it is at such a vertigo inducing lofty height.
Mr. Big: Hey, you! Bird! Get that important invention out of your craw this instant!
Narrator: The pelican ignores the minion's orders and falls asleep. He attempts to climb up the tree while hoping that a tropical breeze doesn't blow him off.
Mr. Big: If only I could climb like Squirrel... or fly like him.
Narrator: After reaching the leaves of the palm tree, Mr. Big attempts to creep over to the bird and take the jar. His difficult balancing act is made even more harrowing when the pelican notices him.
Pelican: *squawks*
Mr. Big: Fear me, for I am the mighty Mr. Big-
The pelican scoops up Mr. Big in his beak.
Pelican: *gulp*
Mr. Big: Let me out this instant!
The pelican spits him out as well as the formula. He gets up and tips his hat.
Mr. Big: Thank you.
Pelican: S'alright.
Narrator: On another remote part of the island, the missing Edgar and Chauncey are trying to find a way out of here.
Chauncey: I'll try anything. Where do you think that silly sea captain is?
Edgar: Captain Peachfuzz? I'm not sure, but we're likely to get more help by sailing away on a piece of driftwood.
Chauncey: I guess so...
Edgar: You must be desperate to think of him, huh?
Chauncey: Yeah.
Narrator: Now that we know where our heroes' friends from Frostbite Falls are, let's see what Rocky and his friends, er, his friend and acquaintances, are up to.
Bullwinkle walks by while itching from the poison ivy.
Bullwinkle: I'm about six feet tall. At least I think so. Do my antlers count?
Rocky: Bullwinkle, that's not what he meant. The narrator wants to know what we're doing.
Bullwinkle: Government stuff.
Narrator: It looks more like you're doing nothing.
Bullwinkle: Exactly.
Narrator: Rocky hears some chattering in familiar voices.
Rocky: Those two are Natasha and Fearless Leader. I'm going to see what they're talking about.
Bullwinkle: All right. Let me know if they need my help as a professional governor.
Rocky: I'm sorry, but for some reason I doubt it. No offence.
Bullwinkle: None taken.
Narrator: The flying squirrel swoops up a tree to listen in on their conversation.
Fearless Leader: So we have all agreed on our decision, is that right?
Natasha: Da, dollink.
Fearless Leader: This will be the last deal that Moose will ever make.
Natasha: But what if we get caught? Mutiny is a very serious offence, and we would get arrested for breaking the law.
Fearless Leader: Yes, but remember, Natasha, we are in Moosylvania.
Natasha: Your point is...?
Fearless Leader: There are no laws!
Rocky: No laws?!
Narrator: Yes, that is correct. Bullwinkle's country of Moosylvania is so sparely inhabited that the governor never really bothered to set up any laws.
Rocky: I'm not feeling settled about this settlement...
Narrator: I'm sure their next "suggestions" will be very diabolical indeed. Be sure to stay tuned for our next episode, "Mutiny on the Moose" or "All the Ooze that's fit to Print".
Boris shows up in a pirate costume.
Boris: Is today International Talk like a Pirate Day?
Fearless Leader: I hope not.
Boris: Arrrrr! I be plundering Moose's island, an' sending 'im and his swabbie to walk the plank. And I be swiping your hat with the skull and crossbones on it, too.
Fearless Leader: Boris, what did I tell you about Davy Jones' Locker? And the Flying Dutchman? And himmel knows what else I made up to scare you?
Natasha: The giant squid?
Fearless Leader: Ja, ze giant schquid.
Boris: All right. I'll be good.
Natasha: You mean evil.
Boris: Yeah, sure.
He heads for the lagoon.
Fearless Leader: And no vun touches mein hat with the skull and crossbones! Or they will be walking the plank- oh, himmel, now he has me getting into this...
Narrator: Be sure to stay tuned for our next exciting segment, which may or may not have pirate references. See you soon.