Chapter 9: Confessions
I paced the room for several minutes trying to plan out my next move. Laura was sitting on the bed, watching me pace. I turned to her, "Laura, did Dante say where he was going to be after you gave him "George's" excuses?"
"No, he didn't say anything."
"Well it can't be helped. I will have to see him when I see him," I balled my fists and put them on my hips, "Do we still have time to go out?"
"Of course we do. Are you sure you still want to go out?" she raised an eyebrow.
"I made a promise I intend to keep," I meant that in several ways. I was hoping Dante was at the Pink Dragon. I was also hoping that my brother was somewhere else. Laura got up off the bed and I had my hand on the door.
"I just hope you know what you're doing Lake," Laura looked at me with half a smile.
"I honestly don't know what I'm doing, but right now I am going to go have a drink with my friend and see what happens," I opened the door and started to walk out. I bounced off a very hard body. He grabbed my shoulders so I wouldn't fall backwards. I blinked up at the man and smiled.
Dante was looking past me to Laura. Laura had her hand over her mouth and was snickering. Dante still hadn't really looked at me. He was too busy being slightly embarrassed, and slightly confused. I felt the rumble of anger in his voice, "So, he has two wash maids now?"
Laura started to laugh harder and I let out a small giggle. It was a little strange to hear that girlish giggle. It was my laugh, but at the same time it wasn't. Dante stood there for a moment looking completely scandalized; then he looked down at me. He still didn't see me, but he did take a moment to look, "Did Xaedes put you up to this?" he was definitely angry.
Laura fell on to the bed roaring with laughter. I shook my head, "No… This was all Miss Laura's doing," It was true after all. The dress, the corset, the make up, was all her idea.
Dante glared at Laura furiously. He stepped past me and stood in front of Laura. The blonde wash maid took a moment to compose herself and squared off with the tall man, "Master George is just too exhilarating and virile. I had difficult time keeping up with him. So I brought a friend to… Help," she was having a hard time to contain her laughter. In all honesty, so was I.
The look on Dante's face was priceless. I don't know if he was red with embarrassment or anger. He knew I couldn't be, virile. It was a physical impossibility. I could see the thought process in his head as to how Laura could possibly think I was or how "George" was virile. Dante squinted his eyes at Laura, "Where is he?" Dante demanded.
Laura shot a quick smile in my direction. I shook my head and shrugged. I wanted to know what she was going to say.
"Master George is indisposed at the moment. Perhaps you would care to speak with HER?" Laura pointed at me, "I'm sure she could give you a better idea on Master George's whereabouts," Laura sauntered past Dante and stood next to me.
"Traitor," I mumbled under my breath to her.
"You said you wanted to talk to him, so talk already. I will be around if you need me," She closed the door behind her.
Dante looked at me, rage burning in his eyes, "Where is he?"
"Right here," I said with a note of humor.
"I don't have time for games woman… Where is… George?" Dante had a bit of trouble calling me by that name.
I shook my head and lowered my voice a little so he might get the idea, "I said, I'm right here you Fop…"
He stood there speechless and shocked. It was interesting to see someone else look like a fool for once. It had been so often the last two days that I was the one looking at him like a fool. He sat on the bed rather hard, but kept staring at me. I crossed my arms, "Well if you want to talk to George, I could always go put my armor on," I started to walk towards the dressing area. It wouldn't have done me much good. I couldn't have gotten the corset off without help.
"I would rather you didn't," he was gazing at the floor.
"It was Laura's idea. She was going to take me out tonight and show me what I was missing. I still don't understand what all the fuss is about," I shrugged.
He looked up at me in a way I had never seen anyone look at me. It confused, exhilarated, and terrified me all at the same time. Dante got up off the bed and moved closer to me, "I think she has good taste," his eyes raked me over like one looks at a piece of meat at market.
I felt slightly uncomfortable and started to have second thoughts, "Please don't look at me like that," I hadn't noticed that I had moved back as he got closer and was now up against the wall. My heart was racing and there was a strange knot in my stomach.
"How am I looking at you?" he teased.
I cast my eyes down to the floor. This was an area I knew nothing about. It was a new situation I had never encountered. I had no plan for attack or defense. I didn't even have a clue what was happening. He was very much a man… And I was… I was… I was a girl having real responses to a man. Not just any man, but to Dante. He wasn't some nine year old boy I idolized anymore. He wasn't some ruffian that my father was training to keep out of trouble. Dante was the man I had set my heart aside for when I was six.
It was a realization that came to me furiously. Granny had introduced me to several boys around the village in the hopes I would take a liking to one of them. I never had. They were all substandard as far as I was concerned. I didn't know why, they just were. I was so young when I had made the promise to Dante, that I had forgotten why those boys didn't interest me in the least. The pendant had adorned my neck from that night until about a year ago when it had been taken off while I was sick.
I had worn it for so long I didn't even realize it was missing. With the necklace gone, the last vestige of my promise and any memory I had vanished. The only thing that remained, were the feelings that no other man would do.
"I feel like a piece of meat," I huffed and crossed my arms.
Dante stepped back and seemed to compose himself. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. He stood up straight and offered his arm to me, "Well then, my Lady, we should not keep the public waiting. I am happy to see that you intend to end this charade."
"I didn't say I was going to stop being "George". I said I was going out for the evening as a woman, just this evening. The deal I made with Laura was I would go out. She would try to convince me that it isn't as bad as it seems. If at the end of the evening I changed my mind, she would help me come out so to speak," I pulled at the corset and fussed with the chemise, "So far the only thing I'm convinced of is that I prefer the armor over the damn corset."
Dante pouted, "I like the corset better."
I felt my anger rise, "Well if you like the corset so much, you were it!" I pushed past him.
"Actually, I prefer taking them off," he snickered.
I spun around to glare at him. I was both embarrassed and angry, "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY?!"
Dante stepped back and fell into the chair. He held up his hand in surrender, "You're right, I'm sorry."
I rushed over to him and leaned down. I realized a little late that it was a bad idea, because I was apparently giving him an excellent view of my cleavage. It was another one of those things I didn't have any experience with. The pendant came loose from its space neatly tucked away between my bosoms and was dangling in front of his eyes. I didn't notice Dante's eyes had fixated on the necklace, "Look you arrogant popinjay, I am NOT something that can be ogled. At this rate, I will dawn my armor faster than you can say…"
"You wearing it," he raised his hand to grasp the necklace. I was angry at the moment and I didn't want to let talk of the past interfere with my anger.
"That old thing? I've had it for years. I think my father gave it to me, I don't really remember where I got it," I lied. It hurt to lie to him. But I didn't want him to change the subject. Then he did something that more than hurt. He yanked on the chain ripping it from my neck. I stepped back and stared at him in shock.
Dante stood up and wouldn't look at me, "You don't deserve this," his voice was hushed, full of anger and hurt.
Hearing him say those words bore deep to a part of me I thought I had buried and forgotten. He turned and placed a hand on the door. I spoke before I could really stop myself from speaking, "Please don't take it away from me."
"You weren't wearing this the other day, nor were you wearing it this afternoon," Dante hadn't removed his hand from the door handle, nor had he turned to face me.
"You're right, I wasn't. I broke two of the three promises I made. Not to forget, and I forgot. Not to take it off, and I did. Please don't make me break the final promise of letting someone else have it," I begged.
"I'm not someone else, Lake. I'm the one that gave it to you," he finally took his hand off the door, but he didn't turn around.
"What do you want me to say? Right now I could say I was sorry until the moon turns blue, and it wouldn't change anything."
I heard the soft thud of Dante putting his forehead on the door, "I didn't forget."
"You were nine years old. I was six, how could we have possibly been in love at that age?" I was still trying to rationalize how I felt about Dante, "Dante, haven't you ever looked at another woman?"
He finally turned to look at me. Dante looked shocked by the question, "Yes, but I never loved them."
I crossed my arms defensively and scowled at him, "If that isn't the argument of a play boy, I don't know what is."
"So I will admit to having several woman paraded in front of me. I had to be polite and do my duty. Hell, I will even admit to going whoring with Xaedes," he seemed upset by that memory, "Now since I answered you're question, you can answer mine. Have you ever been with another man?"
Well if that wasn't the stupidest question I had ever heard, but I answered it anyway, "No, I have not."
"Why not?"
"It wasn't something I thought about," Because I was saving everything for you. It was an odd revelation and I wasn't going to let him hear come from my lips just yet, "I was too busy training. Boys were something to beat on and good for target practice, nothing more."
"I think you're lying," an odd little smile crossed his lips.
I walked right up to him, "Why would I lie? I have no reason to lie," Sure I did. I didn't want him to leave again. It was a fear that had crept into my thoughts. If I kept my distance, I wouldn't ever have to experience that feeling of pain and loneliness.
Dante looked down at me. His voice was soft and melodic and made my heart melt, "And what about now?"
I lowered my eyes to the floor, "I still don't think about it," Because I never wanted anyone else.
Dante cupped my chin in his hands and tilted my head so my eyes met his, "Look me in the eyes and tell me you have no feelings for me."
I stood there dumbstruck looking into his sad green eyes. I could have ended it right there. I could have saved both of us from the problems I knew were going to arise. I wasn't going to give up being "George" so he could have "Lake". There was no difference either way, just the clothes I wore. Dante and Xaedes were still fighting an old battle. I could just see the argument and fight that would break out after the confession to my brother that I was in love with his hated rival.
The whole situation was a powder keg waiting to explode. But I couldn't stand there, looking into his eyes and tell him anything but the truth, "I can't," I whispered as a tear slid down my check.
Dante snaked one arm around my waist and pulled me closer than I thought possible. Just being that close to him made my whole body go limp in his arms. He leaned down and our lips met for the second time. The first kiss we shared was something innocent between children. This kiss was much more. It was a kiss shared between lovers. We broke apart and he wrapped his other arm around me to hold me up right. I was warm, safe, and I felt whole. I clutch his shirt and laid my head against his chest.
His heart was pounding away against my ear. We stood silent, just being content with each other. Dante broke the silence, "What now Lake?"
"I don't know."