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Chapter 10: dinner disaster
Santana has organised a dinner for us and all of our friends tonight because it's been a while since we all last sat down and had a meal together and just had fun. The last time was probably on vacation but Santana and I weren't in the best of places then so I'm looking forward to tonight, it should be fun. The only problem is that we're working tomorrow so we can't drink or anything. On the upside though, it's at one of my very favourite restaurants so at least I know there will be good food. I've got a sneaky suspicion Santana reserved a table there since she knew I loved the restaurant
"Wow you look amazing right now" I say smiling while taking in the view of my beautiful wife in front of me.
"Don't I always?" she quirks an eyebrow.
"Of course but there's just something even more beautiful about you tonight" I reply. Sometimes I can't believe I am actually married to Santana Lopez. At her high school she was the most popular cheerleader there and she could have had anyone from high school because they all liked her but yet she chose me.
"Well thank you" she smiles. "You look amazing as well" she tells me and for some reason I find myself blushing. I guess it's been a while since I had someone compliment me like this.
"We're both working tomorrow so I doubt it matters who drives" I state. "Do you have any preference?" I ask.
"Not really so either one of us can drive" Santana replies while touching up her makeup in the mirror hanging on the wall.
"How about I just drive then since my keys are there" I say pointing to the small table we have just at the front door where my keys are lying.
"Ok sure, that suits me" she says before kissing my cheek and placing her make up back in her bag. "So are we ready to go then?" she asks.
"Yeah let's go" I say grabbing Santana's hand as we leave the house. I quickly lock the door behind us and then we make our way to the car. "Want to take a bet on who'll be first there?" I ask Santana as I pull out of the drive.
"I'll only do it if there is a prize" she states causing me to laugh. "If I'm right, what do I get?" she asks.
"It's not much of a bet so we'll just say the winner gets a kiss" I reply.
"I'm not playing then" she tells me. "I could get a kiss from you whenever I wanted so it's not a good enough price to entice me to place a bet" she says seriously.
"Babe there is no need take it so seriously, it was a lame bet" I tell her. I only suggested it to pass the time but sometimes Santana takes things too seriously, it's the competitive nature in her I think, as evidenced at bowling the other week. "I'm going with Mercedes and Puck anyway as the first there" I state.
"How about we play for 10 dollars?" Santana asks.
"Fine we can play for 10 dollars" I sigh. "Who do you think then?" I ask.
"I think Mike and Tina will be first there, they're always very punctual" Santana nods. The rest of the journey is filled with a comfortable silence until we reach the restaurant. The gentlewoman that I am, I get out the car and quickly run around to Santana's side of the car and open the door for her.
"Thanks" she smiles stepping out of the car and I close the door behind her. We then make our way inside and the waiter shows us to our table. "Hah-hah, that's 10 dollars Britt" Santana says happily holding her hand out waiting for the money.
"Yeah-yeah" I say reluctantly handing over the 10 dollars.
"Um…why are you paying Santana 10 dollars?" Tina asks.
I'm just about to answer when Santana replies "We just had a small bet going on, nothing exciting" she tells them. "Anyway how are you both?" she asks as we sit down next to each other but across from Mike and Tina.
"Yeah we're fine" Mike replies. "What about you two?"
"Well actually we may as well tell you that…" I can't even finish my sentence.
"Hey guys" Quinn says cheerily walking over to us but instead of smiling at me, she just glares. I just knew she would sit next to Santana. I actually feel bad for my wife because Quinn and I are probably going to be glaring at one another all night so she'll be stuck in the middle. Eventually the others arrive so we all look at the menu for five minutes before ordering.
"So remind me again why we are all here, meeting for dinner tonight" Puck says chewing on a piece of food. I mean really, does he have to talk with his mouth full all the time. It's really disgusting if I'm honest.
"We're here just catching up, it's been a while since we all sat together and had dinner" Santana replies.
"So there really isn't any other reason then because you're sitting there Brittany as if you have ants in your pants. Is there something we need to know?" Tina asks observing my current state. It's true I am literally about to burst in happiness because I'm so happy Santana and I can act like a normal couple again.
"No there's no…" Santana says but I can't help jumping in.
"I have moved back in" I say excitedly.
"Yep, Britts and I are officially a married couple living together" Santana says just as happy as me.
"Oh that's great news" Mercedes says enthusiastically.
"Yeah I'm so happy for you both, it was about time you two had some happy news" Tina says genuinely happy for us.
"Well I for one think it was a stupid decision, you two can't seriously be back on track" Quinn says giving us her opinion.
"I beg your pardon" I snap.
"Quinn you have to stop this" Santana states. "You can't keep treating Brittany like this."
"You two aren't ready to be back together, it's just going to cause more problems" Quinn says.
"I'm done with this" I mutter to myself but apparently Quinn heard me.
"You're done with it, I don't think that's a great attitude to have considering everything" Quinn states.
"Do you know, my daughter died ten months ago…TEN" I say emphasising the 'ten' part. "That is how long I have been fighting everyone but now I'm done, I'm too tired of it all, I just want to move on" I say shrugging my shoulders.
"Honey…" Santana starts off but I interrupt her.
"No I am done fighting, I don't want to talk about it anymore" I say. Of course I want to remember my daughter but I refuse to talk any longer about who blamed who and who was in the wrong. "Santana and I are finally getting back on track and you have to ruin it Quinn, I'm so sick and tired of your constant input and negative remarks" I sigh. "If everyone wants to have a discussion and constantly reiterate things that are not needed then I'm going home."
"Thanks a lot Quinn, dinner is ruined and Brittany is upset because of you" Tina says glaring at Quinn.
"I didn't want to bring it up but I had to because there are a lot of unresolved issues regarding you Brittany" Quinn states.
"Excuse me!" I gasp. "Unresolved issues, what are you talking about. You really had no business nosing into my life in the first place so there is only issues because you created them" I say angrily.
"Look I just think this whole charade could have been handled better if you didn't…" Quinn starts to talk but is cut off.
"Don't you dare say anything else" Santana warns. "If you ever think of blaming Brittany for any of this then that'll be the last time you ever think anything you got me."
"Santana there is no point making threats when you know I'm right" Quinn states.
"I'm going home before any of this escalates because we're in the middle of a restaurant so it's certainly no place for a fight" I say while standing up. "There is some money to put towards the bill Mercedes" I say handing Mercedes some money for the dinner.
"Brittany hold on I'm coming with you" Santana says while quickly standing up. "Sorry guys about dinner, we'll catch up soon" Santana tells the others.
"Our daughter died ten months ago and every day of that period I have fought with someone and I don't want to do it anymore" I say close to tears. We're sitting in the living room talking now after coming home from the restaurant.
"Baby I don't want to fight with you and most of our friends don't either" Santana tells me.
"So why does Quinn hate me so much?" I ask. "I know she was one of your best friends back in high school or whatever but sometimes I felt Quinn and I had a better relationship than you two. We used to get on great and it was you and Quinn that would bicker occasionally but ever since we lost Katelyn she's treated me like shit" I state. Even though Santana and Quinn were friends first, you would've thought it was Quinn and I because we got on so great but now she hates me for some reason.
"I honestly don't know, initially I thought she was just worried about me and was afraid I'd relapse or something if we got close again too quickly" she tells me shrugging slightly. She's probably just as confused as me now. "She has to stop this weird behaviour though, it's gone on too long." She's right it has gone on too long and I don't want to seem selfish for saying this but I think Santana should've said something sooner to Quinn. Quinn was supposed to have been there for Santana during the break up so they were obviously close enough to be able to tell each other things.
"I can't and won't ask you to pick Santana but I don't know how much longer I can take this whole Quinn thing. I'm your wife so I'd hope you'd understand my point of view and be willing to acknowledge what Quinn is doing to me" I say.
"Brittany we have been through so much so no matter what I'm always going to pick you. I don't want to lose you" she tells me.
"I don't want you to pick me because you want to be with me and you think you have to since we're married, I want you to pick me because you can see what Quinn is doing is wrong" I say. I know she said a minute or two ago she wants the weird behaviour to stop but I just hope it's not just that and she realises it's tearing me apart the way Quinn says those things to me.
"Yeah I know what she is doing is wrong" Santana nods. "That's why I don't even need to announce that I pick you, I'm always going to be with you anyway. It goes without saying" she tells me and I smile slightly.
"Ok" I nod.
"I love you Brittany so I'm never going to hurt you again, I promise" she kisses me gently on the lips.
"I know" I smile. "Maybe we…" the doorbell rings interrupting me.
"I'll get it you stay here" Santana tells me while rushing to the front door. "What are you all doing here?" I hear Santana ask as she opens the door.
"We want to make sure Brittany is ok" Rachel says slightly pushing Santana out of the way so she could come inside by the sound of things.
"Excuse me I didn't invite any of you in" Santana says but apparently it falls on deaf ears as I hear Rachel, Sam, Mike, Tina, puck, Mercedes and Artie all walk inside. I suppose we shouldn't really object since they are obviously here for me and care about me. "Nah-ah no way" I hear Santana say sternly when Quinn is the last person trying to get in the door. "I don't think so, turn around and go away."
"Come on Santana at least hear me out, you've let everyone else in" Quinn states.
"If you come in here then I want you to apologise to Brittany" she tell her but she just walks past her and into the living room where I am. "QUINN" Santana says more firmly while chasing after her.
"Babe it's ok, we should hear her out" I say wanting to find out why she has treated me like she did.
"Fine" Santana sighs. "The floor is yours Quinn, this better be good" Santana says folding her arms.
"I just think the way Brittany treated you in the past few months is unacceptable and I don't think you should have given in so easily" Quinn states facing Santana's direction since she was talking to her.
"I beg your pardon" Santana says closing her eyes. She does that sometimes to think and to stay calm. "You think Brittany treated me unacceptably?" she asks, her tone slightly angry.
"Yes of course, Brittany is mostly at fault here because…"
"Excuse me" Santana gasps. "You have the audacity to suggest my wife is to blame for all of this, who do you think you are Quinn?" Santana says getting angrier by the minute.
"I'm sorry if you don't like the truth Santana but what I'm saying is true" Quinn replies.
"You have overstepped the mark Quinn by a longshot so if you can't apologise to Brittany for how you treated her then I don't want to know you" Santana states angrily.
"What?" Quinn asks confused.
"As far as I'm concerned you're nothing to me, you mean absolutely nothing" Santana tells her honestly. "I do not want you in my life if you cannot respect my wife or my relationship. I may have left this going on too long but at the end of the day you should know how much you're hurting Brittany. She is supposed to be your friend and you think it's ok to treat her like this?" Santana asks.
"Santana can't you see Brittany caused this?" Quinn asks.
"How dare you say that, Brittany didn't cause any of this?" Santana says almost shouting. "What happened was an unfortunate accident that I then made worse so Brittany did not cause a single bit of pain so don't you ever say that again."
"But…" Quinn tries to protest.
"But nothing Quinn" Santana snaps. "If anyone was to blame for anything then it's me so quit blaming my wife" she snaps again. "You do realise Brittany lost her daughter in all of this right? I not only caused her hurt but she also felt incredibly hurt by the whole situation anyway because she was grieving for her daughter. You have never once thought of how Brittany might have already felt before you started bullying her."
"Eh pot and kettle Santana, you weren't an angel either with the way you treated Brittany" Quinn states.
"Yes I know but now I am handling things and that's the difference. You can't excuse what I did but I actually do feel bad for how I bullied Brittany and what I said to her unlike you. I am making up for how hurtful I was and I actually went to therapy to sort out my issues whereas you, you did nothing to resolve this situation" Santana firmly tells Quinn. "I have tortured myself day and night with how disgusted I was of myself for how I treated Brittany but you walk around here little Miss high and mighty as if you have nothing to be sorry about and that's not ok Quinn, not ok at all."
"But…" Quinn tries to protest again.
"I want you to leave my house Quinn and never come back, I am being serious right now" Santana tells Quinn and when she doesn't move, Santana proceeds to push her out of the door. After a while everyone else eventually leaves and goes home. It's now only Santana and I left in the living room.
"I feel bad that dinner was ruined" I say quietly breaking the silence.
"Hey it's not your fault, its Quinn's fault. She is the one that caused all of this" Santana tells me taking my hand in hers. "Hey what do you say we go upstairs and just watch a movie or relax or something" she suggests.
"Ok sure" I nod before we head on upstairs. We then get settled in bed with a movie.
We must be half way through the movie now but I'm not entirely sure because all I can focus on is Santana kissing me. I don't know when it started or how it started but she's definitely straddling my hips and kissing me. It's been so long since we did this and I'm loving every second of her lips on mine. I know there is more to be excited about than just kissing but with the year we've had this is definitely something good.
"We need to remove these clothes" Santana states while moving to kiss my neck and start to gently move her hands down my body.
"Ok" I nod while flipping us over.
"It happens to a lot of people" Santana softly tells me while smiling sympathetically at me.
"Well it never happens to me" I state while standing up and going over to the mirror. I start to brush my hair and put some moisturiser on my face.
"Britt don't be…"
"I just want to go to sleep now" I say getting back into bed.
"Babe" Santana says placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You know this doesn't…" I interrupt her.
"I just don't want to talk about it right now" I say while turning to lie facing the other direction.
"Ok that's cool, night babe" Santana says kissing my shoulder.
"Yeah…night" I say before closing my eyes. This has got to be one of the most humiliating moments ever.
It's the next day and I am walking through the front door after a hard day at work. To say I didn't think about last night at all would be a lie. I just feel so bad for the way I overreacted and how cold I was to Santana. It's definitely not her fault, it's just so embarrassing because it was our first time together in ages so it was meant to be special.
"Hey, how are you?" Santana asks when I walk into the kitchen. She was home earlier than I was tonight since I stayed on to do some extra tutoring with one of my classes.
"Yeah I'm fine, you?" I ask smiling slightly.
"I'm good" Santana replies returning the smile. "Dinner should be ready in ten minutes" she tells me causing me to raise an eyebrow in surprise.
"You cooked, really?" I enquire. No disrespect to Santana but I think I mentioned before how she really cannot cook.
"Ok fine, the pizza will be delivered in ten minutes or so" she says chuckling slightly. "In my defence I did buy ready meals to heat up when you got home but as soon as I looked at the packing I got put off so decided just to order pizza" she tells me.
"What put you off?" I ask with a slight smirk on my face at how adorable the situation sounds. I can just image Santana looking at the instructions and getting frustrated.
"I don't know, they just seemed a little depressing. They had 'meal for one' written across them and it reminded me of when I did eat alone during our time apart. I ended up just putting them in the trash because I wanted to get rid of anything negative or depressing since this is like a fresh start for us" she tells me.
"Ok fair enough, so what kind of pizza are we getting?" I ask.
"It's a surprise but I'm sure you'll like it" she smiles.
"Cool, I will quickly freshen up and change before dinner then" I say before running upstairs to our room. As soon as I am ready I go back downstairs and wait in the kitchen with Santana until the pizza comes. Once it does finally arrive we sit down at the table and begin eating. "Hey can I just say something?"
"Sure" Santana nods swallowing the piece of food in her mouth.
"I'm sorry for overreacting last night, I guess I was just annoyed. It was finally the perfect time for us and then that happens" I say. "It's also sorta embarrassing because it's never happened to me before…like ever."
"I know but records are meant to be broken right" she says trying to lighten the mood but it doesn't work. "Ok sorry, that wasn't funny."
"The last time we had sex you were pregnant" I sigh.
"I know" she nods. "Were you thinking back to that and then it made you think of Katelyn? Is that what happened babe, you got scared to really let go and relax because you think I might go back to that place?" she asks.
"Look it's not that I don't trust you or anything. I mean I know therapy did wonders for both of us, I just thought back to some things and it made me nervous. It's just been so long Santana and just knowing the last time we did it you were pregnant made it even more nerve racking. I mean it reminded me of Katelyn then I thought back to how she is no longer here which led me to thinking of why she wasn't here so then the mood was totally ruined" I tell her honestly.
"Look its ok, don't be embarrassed. I completely understand how it happened but next time let's not expect too much. I'm happy with just some heavy making out for the first few times to get us reacquainted so to speak and to relax and maybe one night it'll just happen" she tells me while giving me a soft smile.
"I still find you insanely hot though, it's not that I don't want to have sex with you, I just think my mind needs time to catch up and tell my body it's ok to feel turned on or whatever" I tell her.
"That's cool" she smiles and we go back to eating. After a few minutes of silence Santana breaks it.
"Can I ask a question?" Santana asks nervously so I nod. "Did you ever…like do stuff…when we were apart?" she asks while looking down as if she's embarrassed about asking but feels she has to.
"Do stuff?" I query. "What do you mean?"
"Like sexually" she asks.
"Oh right" I say a little taken aback. "Um…yeah I did actually" I reply.
"Oh…" Santana says a little shocked. "Who was she…in fact don't answer that, I don't need to know" she starts shaking her head in disgust.
"There wasn't anyone else" I tell her smiling. "I meant I did stuff but not with anyone" I tell her and a smile instantly graces her lips.
"What do you mean?" Santana asks confused before quickly realising, "oh…OH!"
"Didn't you?" I query, feeling slightly embarrassed I'm the only one because I don't think Santana did that judging by her face.
"No. I was never in that sort of mood" she tells me.
"I didn't do it when we were together or anything, it was when we were broken up" I tell her. Santana made this rule once that we're only ever allowed to make each other cum. She can be very possessive in bed sometimes which is super sexy so I really didn't mind that she always made sure I was aware she was the only person to make me feel good. "I figured once we broke up then the rule didn't apply anymore plus there were a few times I just couldn't help it, I was really sexually frustrated" I say.
"Whoa…this is making me slightly hot picturing you like that" she replies while fanning herself with the magazine from the counter.
"It's making you hot?" I ask with a slight smirk.
"Yeah" she smirks. "I can just imagine you lying in bed with your hair messily covering the pillows and your eyes would be filled with so much want. And let's not even get started on your sexy naked body or the way it shivers when you come down from your high."
"Oh right" I say smiling. "It was you, you know" I state.
"Huh?"
"It was you I would picture when I did it. I would pretend it was your hand and not mine" I tell her.
"Oh…wow" she says a mix between shocked and turned on. "You still thought of me like that, even after everything I did to you, how hurtful I was?" she asks.
"Well…yeah" I state. "I mean you're my wife and I still find you incredibly sexy."
"So how come that happened last night if it wasn't the first time you did something? Like I mean how could you think of me and managed to cum but yet last night you couldn't even…" I stop her midsentence because it gives me the creeps to think I can't perform for my wife.
"Last night was different because you were actually there and we were going to actually have sex whereas the times before it was just a quick hand job or whatever on my own. I kept thinking back to the moment we last had sex and like I say you were pregnant. I remember every so often I'd caress your baby bump or kiss your stomach gently so when I remembered that last night it brought back memories of how Katelyn isn't here" I tell her and she nods.
"Ok I understand" she says. "It was more the unhappy thought of losing your daughter that put you off rather than the thought of the issues we had?" she asks to clarify.
"Exactly, I know we're good now so it's not a case of being worried to reconnect like that again. It was just simply a case of how Katelyn suddenly pooped into my head so there was no way I could think of anything else when I was thinking of my daughter" I tell her.
"Well like I say, it's no big deal. You shouldn't worry about it" Santana says.
"But what if it happens again, what if I have a problem?" I ask, slightly panicked it could happen again.
"I thought you just said it was because you were thinking about something?" Santana asks.
"I did" I reply.
"So what makes you think it could be a problem if you know it was just because your head was elsewhere?" she asks.
"I don't know, I'm just worried ok" I state. Santana then leans over the table and takes my hand.
"Babe it won't be anything to worry about, I guarantee it" she tells me while kissing my hand. "Let's be real, it's hardly likely you'd have problems because we've always been attracted to each other. I honestly believe it was just a one-time thing, you just have to be positive and not worry" she tells me. I know I'm acting stupid and it happens to a lot of people but it never happens to me. In all the years Santana and I have been together we've never had issues of that sort, obviously we've had a lot of issues but never once were they about sex.
"Yeah you're right" I nod. "We should really clear up now, I've got some papers to mark tonight" I tell her. My students in one of my senior classes had a test today so I want to mark the papers as soon as possible and it leaves my weekend free to spend with Santana. I've decided from now on I will do all my work during the week so I can devote the whole weekend to Santana since she's off every weekend too. I know our issues weren't about spending time together but it won't hurt to make quality time together at the weekend.
"Yeah we should, I have some work stuff to do as well" Santana replies.