Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Marvel characters or anyone from the world of Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. I'm in no way making any kind of money from this story and promise to return all of them in one piece after I finish with them.
Tell me something that'll save me
I need a man who makes me alright
Lady Gaga – Teeth
"I don't think I like you seeing my past in all its glory when I hardly know anything about you" Logan said finally after returning indoors and having been quiet for a long time. He scratched the side of his mutton chops and chewed hard on his unlit cigar while studying intently the kid sitting before him.
Hell he never said anything personal to anyone, not even to Rogue who was the closest he had to a child and then the witch was seeing his most personal memories. Even though he shared a friendship with Emma some things were simply too brutal or too personal to show to show to anyone. There were aspects of him that she had no idea of but would probably get to see very soon. Logan didn't remember very far back but he remembered enough to wonder if the kid was ready for the visions she was bound to see.
Some of the visions of his earlier past Logan didn't even remember himself or didn't want to remember. Emma had gotten a crash course in what it was to be the Wolverine and she hadn't even batted an eye. It was if it didn't register with her that he had been responsible for all the killings she had witnessed in his mind. He had no other explanation for her lack of emotion, he had expected disgust, horror or some kind of an emotion that supported that what he had done in his life was considered wrong by every normal persons standard.
However he was starting to wonder if the normal person standard fit for Emma, it didn't seem to fit her anymore than it did him.
The young woman sat deep in thought not saying a word and her face looked concentrated as if she was trying to decide if she should talk to him and if so what to say to him. Logan had studied her intently over the last month and noticed that when she bit her lower lip a certain way she was deep in thought and usually about to say something that she deemed important. He looked sideways at the witch and almost chuckled when he saw Emma staring into space and chewing on her lower lip just like he had expected.
What troubled Logan every now and then was how secretive she was. Emma was almost as guarded as he was; the only difference was that she remembered her past while he didn't. The way she naturally shied away from giving any information about herself or her past made it frustrating to work with her on his own memory.
"Tit for tat?" Emma finally suggested looking considerably paler than she had been a few moments ago. Her stomach was rolling in circles at the implications of sharing things with him. She didn't know if it would be the right thing to do, she would try it once and see how it would go. If the feeling was somehow off she would never do that again.
Emma wasn't thrilled on her idea, that was for damn sure but if it would help Logan to get happy then perhaps it was worth it.
"What do ya mean?" Logan asked sceptically raising one eyebrow in a signature scowl. What the hell did Emma mean? What were they going to trade? What on earth did she have to trade for his life history and lost memories?
"Well you showed me a bit of your past. I agree with you, it's only fair that I return the favour and let you get to know me instead" Emma said hesitantly not sounding entirely convinced of her newest decision.
The beast within him agreed with her wholeheartedly, it was only fair. Logan would feel better knowing some of her past as a weapon just in case of possible hurt in the future. He absolutely refused to give her weapons against him without having something to use against her in return. It just wasn't in his nature to be this vulnerable, especially not against someone he hadn't known for a long time.
"You sure kid?" Logan asked considerably more interested than he had been a few moments ago. He was more than willing to get to know a bit about her background since nobody in the mansion seemed to know anything interesting about her. The only one who surely knew something was Xavier and he wasn't spilling.
"It's fair" Emma nodded as if she was trying to convince herself. She wasn't sure; however it was only right that Logan got to know something about her since she was probing into his head with magic. She would have wanted the same thing if their roles had been reversed.
Trading stories would put the two on an equal playing field and would lessen his resistance when it came to the legimens session. By doing that it would be easier for her to find his lost memories that he wanted so much to get back.
Emma also knew that if she had chosen willingly someone to share her past with then Logan would have been high on her list. A part of her wanted to run out of the cabin kicking and screaming while the other part was happy with the choice of a confidant.
She knew by instinct that he wouldn't betray her. At least she hoped so.
Logan was studying trying to understand the mixed signals that were coming off her in waves. Her eyes were calm pools but her body was not. Emma was clearly upset even though she tried to hide it from him not realizing that one could never hide their emotions completely from a feral mutant.
"Since the theme of your session was childhood I guess I will tell you about mine" Emma said softly trying to sound relaxed even though Logan could hear her heartbeat speed up and watched as she started to play restlessly with a lone curl that was in her face. finally she started her story fixing her eyes on the wall behind Logan.
"My parents were both from the magical world; they came from long lines of pureblood wizards" She said starting her story.
"That means that in a way they never lived in the real world, with the normal people that didn't have magical powers" Emma added as an explanation at the lost look on Logan's face.
"My father was British and met my mother when on holiday in Italy. They immediately fell in love and got the approval of their families to marry within the year. As they came from similar aristocratic backgrounds their families were more than happy with their union of two quite well off families. My parents were only twenty when they became Mr. and Mrs. Winter.
As being pureblood wizards there was a burden on their shoulders, especially my fathers. Many of the pureblood community believed in getting rid of all muggles from the wizard community. Muggles were people who were born into normal families and then grew up to have magical powers. A very strong wizard had made a secret community within the pureblood world to get rid of wizards from this world, the so called mudbloods. That word was and is the worst derogatory word you can use of someone coming from the muggle world. I have myself seen it used a handful of times, always been repaid in some way back because of the severe insult it implies.
As my parents were both from pureblood families it was expected and encouraged for them to participate in the secret community in some way or another. From what I gather they never did anything to hurt anyone but they had been working as spies at the Ministry of magic for a while before I was born.
My parents had been more and more reluctant to do this as they were working with many muggles and many of them became their steadfast friends. They looked for a way out but it was unheard of to leave the group that later became known by the horrible words Death eaters. It is still today the worst category a wizard or witch can fall into and a one that makes most terrified of you instantly.
Finally my father, Edward, decided to talk to his old headmaster from the time he was studying to become a wizard. This school is called Hogwarts and is one of top five wizard schools in the world. The headmaster had known my father since he was eleven years old and had first enrolled into the school. Dumbledore was the headmasters name and my father went to him pouring out his heart. He told him he was unhappy, that he wanted to get out and what should he do to get him, his wife and future child into safety.
He admitted that Seraphina his wife was now pregnant with their first child and they had taken a collective decision to leave Voldemort's troops in protection of their unborn child"
"That was you?" Logan asked lighting his cigar and listening with curiosity to her. Emma had been more than willing to give him the story after starting and the world she told him about was like a parallel universe. It was surprising to him to hear that it had even existed on the earth he knew.
"Yes that was me. My mother was only a few months pregnant when Dumbledore helped them to get away. They left the magical world, took up other names and were relatively happy. They lived like muggles, had me and lived for a while quite comfortably albeit in hiding.
The attack on them was made when they were driving home one evening. I was being baby sat by their elderly neighbour, whom they had no idea was an old witch, a friend of Dumbledore. He had bought the house next door for her so that he would always hear if there were something out of the ordinary happening at my parents house.
My parents were found in their car and the police never understood what had happened. The car was parked by the road and they were dead. No trauma was on them, they simply looked sleeping. Now of course Aurors, who work as magical policemen, were alerted to my parent's death by my neighbour. They concluded that it had been the killing curse. They never found the perpetrators but of course there was no doubt what group had done it"
"And you?" He asked gruffly chewing on his cigar and taking a large swig of his beer. Emma looked as if she didn't even know that she was crying, or that her voice cracked in some places if the story showing her distress.
"Mrs. Ashbrook, who I always called auntie, raised me from that time. I was three when I became an orphan. The will of my parents declared Dumbledore my guardian until I would come of age at my 18th birthday. There was no way for him to have me at the school as my existence was to be a secret for the time being until he would decide what to do with me. He could not have me but had Mrs. Ashbrook do that. She was more than a dear friend of his, she was a cousin of his and he trusted her above most to raise me.
She raised me in a small village in Britain. My childhood was from that point on quiet and uneventful. Exactly what Dumbledore and my parents had wanted. I personally would perhaps have opted for a little bit more action but my childhood was above else safe. When my magical abilities started to come into light Dumbledore and Mrs. Ashbrook were delighted. I never understood that there was something different with having magical abilities until I spoke to the muggle children at the playground and realized that none of them was like me. From that moment on I realized that I was different, not only me but also the people that were my now family.
Dumbledore and Mrs. Ashbrook decided I would go to Hogwarts at my eleventh year as all magical children do. It had been verified that none of the Death Eaters knew of my existence. That was my shelter so the only thing that Dumbledore did was to change my last name into Ashbrook while I was a student there.
And Dumbledore visited me regularly when I was a child. I knew him by the name uncle Albus. I loved him dearly as I did Mrs. Ashbrook but Dumbledore knew how to get the love of a child. He showered me with sweets every time he visited and in return he got hugs and kisses from a child that was desperate for any kind of love and affection.
When I was twelve Mrs. Ashbrook passed away quietly in ripe old age of one hundred eighty. The age never surprised me until I found out that muggles were considered lucky to reach the tender age of eighty. The magical community usually has at least a twice as long lifespan as a normal person. Dumbledore had me watched but didn't tell me he had been my legal guardian until just minutes before my 18th birthday. That was the year of my graduation and I had no idea what I would do with my life after that.
Dumbledore decided to offer me a teaching position at Hogwarts. Since I had been raised around muggles, none magic folk, Dumbledore thought it was a great idea that I would teach magic people of them. As a person with personal interest I could perhaps lift the stigmata of the muggles and show the wizarding community that muggles are just like us.
So I had a strange education as a child. First I went to muggle school and then when I came home I heard stories of unicorns, fairies and other magical beings. I got as much the best of the two worlds as they could possibly give me."
She looked at him curiously, "you know I have never told anyone the whole story, just snippets here and there"
"Tit for tat eh?" he asked. She was right; it was fair that they would know of each other like that, it somehow made the whole thing a little less painful. She had indeed had a different upbringing from the children that were raised at Xavier's and elsewhere but it made him understand her better as his memories made her see him in a new light.
"Yes it was a trade and now we go to have a drink. How does that sound?" she asked smiling wanting to shake of the chains of the past that laid heavily on her heart after going so many years back in time.
"The drink sounds great" Logan admitted looking at her grinning teasingly.
Emma laughed, "I thought so"