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Could Have Been Colder

Chapter Ten

"You'll be safe. I promise." Olivia said to Alex who now adorned a fluffy white robe. "I won't let anyone talk to you that shouldn't or even look at you."

"That is a little farfetched, Olivia."

"No it's not." Olivia replied trying to put her earring in her left ear. She hated the big gaudy diamonds, but they were a gift. "I'll give them one of the famous Olivia stares." She turns to Alex, her face is contorted in a silly way and she sticks out her tongue.

"That will definitely keep them away." Alex said. She laid down on the bed and curled up in the fetal position. This always concerned Olivia. It meant that either she was pouting or she was not feeling well. Alex was on her third round of chemotherapy. Her cancer was no longer in remission. Her beautiful long locks gave way to a short boyish cut. Olivia could see where small patches were beginning to fall away. She did her best not to show worry, but it was hard. She had learned during the course of Alex's illness that she had to keep herself up for Alex, no matter what.

'Positive thoughts produce positive results.' Another one of Dr. Poole's little antidotes. There were days when the pain in Alex's eyes radiated through Olivia. It is on these days that Olivia finds herself wondering through the city with no particular destination. She just wants to harvest its energy to continue the fight.

The fight for Alex. The fight for her life. The fights about whether Olivia should not be in Alex's life ended long ago. Alex needed Olivia, but Olivia needed her more.

"Do you ever think that she is only staying alive because of you?" Elliot shoved another bite of his hot dog in his mouth. Olivia gave him a cold stare and dropped her lunch in the trash can they had been eating over. She lost her appetite.

"I sure hope that is one of the reasons, El." She said curtly. "When you were shot did you not push yourself through for Kathy?'

'Yeah, but that was a gunshot and it barely left a scar. Besides, I have the kids too.'

'Dammit El! You can really be an asshole. Gunshot, cancer, the flu all things that can kill you. All things that can change your life in an instant.' She was yelling at him now over the squad car. People on the sidewalk began to stare. 'Alex has a lot to live for. She has her mother, she has her friends, the foundation and…"

'And you her strong, supportive spouse.' Elliot through his hands up in surrender. 'I give. I was only trying to say that if or when it is her time to go will you be okay with that? Are you in the slight bit preparing for it?'

'If I prepare for it, it means I gave up. It means she'll give up. It means I no longer get to see her in the flesh. How do you prepare for the love of your life to leave you forever?'

'She left you once before.' Elliot reminded her. He wished he hadn't.

'She came back alive.' Olivia said pushing away from the car and started walking up the block. Elliot knew better then to follow. He got in the squad car and headed back to the 1-6. If he just didn't have such a big foot to put into his mouth.

She sat on the bed and began rubbing Alex's back. Alex had shut her eyes. The touch from Olivia always felt better. It felt like life. "I'll go." She said eyes still shut.

"What?"

"I'll go, but I get to wear whatever I want." Alex said rising from the bed. She gave Olivia a kiss on the cheek and headed for her closet.

"Okay, just remember that the mayor will be there, that senator that Clinton replaced and I believe Trump and some other old rich people."

"So what are you saying, dress up like royalty?" Alex said facing her row of dresses. She smiled at her comment and waited for the complimentarily reply.

"Sweet heart there is no better princess in all of New York then you."

"Promise?"

"Scouts honor." Olivia said now standing at the closet door.

"Good because I want to wear this?" Alex walked over to Olivia's closest and pulled out a black bag. Olivia's eyes grew wide. How did Alex know what was in there.

"There is nothing in there for you my dear wife." Olivia walked over to Alex and attempted to take the garment bag from her hand.

"You wouldn't hurt a poor, sickly woman would you?" Alex flirted.

"First you may be sickly, but you are not poor." Olivia glanced around the room as if to point out its riches. Olivia took the garment bag from Alex. She walked over to Alex's closet, it was more like another room, and began scanning the racks where the dresses hung.

"You are right I am not poor, I have you." Alex shouted at Olivia before heading for the bathroom.

"Alex, honey, how about this one?" Olivia said holding up a beautiful, shimmering navy dress. It was long and shaped Alex just right. Olivia loved this dress on her wife, even though she had only seen her wear it during a shopping excursion. Alex became sick after that trip and they missed the ball the dress was intended to be worn to.

"Okay." Alex said with a devilish smile. "I haven't wore it in public yet so its fine." She had something else on her mind.

Olivia placed the dress on the bed and carefully laid out the diamond earrings and necklace that went with it. She chose a blue, spiked one in a half inch heeled shoe to go along with the grouping. She and Alex were the same height, but if Alex wore some of her 'death" shoes has Olivia calls them, Alex was three inches taller. Which made it difficult to dance and Olivia wanted to dance tonight.

"All set. I am going to call you parents and see how far along they are." Olivia bent to kiss Alex on the cheek. Alex caught their reflection in the mirror. 'We are a beautiful couple' she said to herself and smiled.

"You're smiling, you must be feeling well." Olivia said with a hope in her voice.

"Yes, now go." Alex waved her away. "I have to get ready. I will meet you there."

"Are you sure yep." She said standing and shutting the bathroom door. Olivia turned towards the hallway and did not hear the lock slide into place.

A few blocks away

"Whoever invented the bowtie should have known that men would have big fingers." Evan said complaining after his fourth attempt to tie it.

"Oh, come here you old grump." Christina rose up on her tip toes and began to tie the tie. "See, not so bad." She stepped aside for him to get a full look in the mirror.

"Thank you my love." He bent to kiss her cheek.

"Yes, now call the car dear, we don't want to be late."

"Late. Pish posh. A Cabot is never late. We just are casually on time." He said with a smile and a bow.

Christina looked in the mirror one last time. "Not bad." She said turning left then right. The last few years had been rough, but she managed to stay fairly fit and did not appear to age too much. Her phone rang.

"Olivia, daring, tell me some good news."

"It's not raining." Olivia said in typical smart alleck language.

"Good then you won't mind walking to the gala tonight." Christina played well.

"The princess has decided to attend the ball." Olivia said with a triumphant smile.

"You are magical." Christina said with excitement. "How does she look?"

"I don't know. She has started to get ready. She told me to go ahead and she would be there shortly."

"Do you trust her to come?"

"If there is one thing that I know about Alex she has never, lied to me. Well accept about her having cancer at first, but that is understandable." Olivia said with reassurance to both of them.

"Okay then, we will come by and pick you up and Alex can come a bit later."

"Sounds good. See you in five." Olivia hung up the phone.

"Alex, sweetheart." Olivia called out to Alex through the still closed. She tried the handle and found it locked. She rested her body against the door listening to hear movement. She hoped Alex just locked it for security once Olivia left. Alex always had a fear that someone would come up behind her when she least expected it. "I am going to go with your parents. If you are not there in 30 minutes, I am coming back for you."

"Okay, may love." Alex said cheerfully. "I shouldn't be too much longer."

"Alright. I love you." Olivia said with relief at hearing her voice.

"I love you." Alex waited until she saw Olivia leave on the elevator. She was glad that they had installed the camera system. She slumped to the floor. Her body was weak and not responding has she would like.

"Please don't give up on me now. Please." She begged her body has if it was not part of her. Like a small child asking for help on the monkey bars. She grabbed the edge of the counter and pulled herself to her knees. She took a cup from the sink and filled it with cold water from the faucet. Next she reached into her drawer and pulled out a jar of peanut butter. It was there to keep her sugar levels up, a quick source of protein. She hated peanut butter, but it did help. She ran her hands under the faucet and cupped the water in her hands to place on the back of her neck. The cool water felt good.

She looked in the mirror. The color was returning to her face. Her eye, while still sullen looking, had just a little sparkle to them. Taking a deep breath she turned and picked up the garment bag. She had hidden it days earlier so Olivia wouldn't know. She wanted to surprise her. She unzipped it and pulled out its glittering contents. The green dress. She had seen it before when Samuel had shown it too her. It was just a drawing then. How it got finished she didn't know. Samuel's death still went unsolved. Olivia tried to find the killer, but her attentions were shifted to Alex. After Alex was released from the hospital, she and Olivia purchased Samuel's studio. It now houses aspiring designers who need the extra help to get started.

"I wonder if one of them finished the dress." Alex said out loud. Dress in hand, she unlocked the bathroom door and slowly went to her closet. Her robe fell to the floor and she stepped into the dress. "Perfect fit." She told herself while looking in the full length mirror. She ran her hands over each side of the dress. She felt every carefully placed stitch, every perfectly place crystal she indeed felt like a princess. With a deep sigh and a smile she turned and placed her feet into her Cesare Paciotti's. She placed on her necklace and earringsand gave herself one last look into the mirror.

"World here I come." With that she turned and headed towards the door.