I do not own Hakuouki nor any of the characters :) There will be similarities to the show!

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Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated considering this is my first story :)

Chapter 10

The room felt tense, cold, and the air itself was so thick she felt like she could choke on it as she walked in and faced the three high ranked men. Kondou-san sat casually between Sannan-san and Hijikata-san who bore unreadable expressions.

She had never felt this uncomfortable sitting before the Shinsengumi; when she first came here they didn't know who she was so she felt as though time would be kind and allow her to find a place among these men while she was in this era.

This time was completely different than that of which she had experienced before; this time she felt hopeless, like there was nothing she could say or do to change their minds.

So she watched Okita take his seat by the door lazily and her eyes flickered nervously between him and three men before her; he seemed to be in such a relaxed position but his eyes deceived his body.

Beneath the veil of his green eyes she saw that he seemed to look concerned but he closed his eyes and she was unable to read farther into them so she turned to make eye contact with the commander who sat in front of her with a soft expression on his face.

"Well Kurisu-chan, do you know why you are here?" Kondou-san said gently with a sad smile; she read from that expression alone that they had already made up their minds.

"Correct, Commander Kondou-san. I do believe that I know exactly why I was called to meet with you" she kept her voice steady and met the man's gaze with her own, forcing as much courage into her face and posture as possible.

"Then you understand what kind of situation we have been put into; am I correct in assuming this?" Sannan-san eyed her warily as she nodded in response.

"Then understand, child, any unsettling acts on your part and we will not hesitate to remove you" Hijikata kept his unwavering stare on her while he spoke and her body trembled as the anxiety rose within her.

"Y-You mean you're-"

"We're not killing you yet" Hijikata interrupted her with a harsh tone as she relaxed her posture a bit more in relief; her legs were numb from clenching her muscles the whole time.

Just as quickly as relief came it was taken away as the vice commander continued; clarifying the situation for the young half demon.

"But do not mistake our intentions, young lady. We will not take any measures to ensure your safety either" she ignored the threatening tone to his voice and bowed gratefully; while wincing from the tingling sensation in her legs now that she moved.

"Thank you very much" raising her head she noticed that no one in the room seemed to relax at all despite the news and decided that maybe it was too early to celebrate.

The day went by quickly even though she was left alone for most of the day, Okita was kept busy by Kondou-san and so she did her regular chores and spent the rest of the day in her room, even eating by herself to avoid unnecessary questions from the other Captains.

That night she laid softly on her side with her eyes closed and focused her mind on her breathing in order to possibly fall to sleep and keep her mind's activity at a minimum.

'In…' cool air filled her rising chest slowly and then naturally fell as soon as her lungs had filled; her mind slowly slipped from consciousness as she continued.

'And out…'

She had almost fallen asleep when a soft knock on the door caught her attention; she sat up in her seat cautiously and eyed the door, seeing a large figure shadowing the entrance to her room.

"Kurisu-chan, may I come in?" Kondou-san's voice was almost a whisper as she eyed the silhouette of his body on her thin door.

"Sir" he slid the door open after her quiet response and entered the room, taking a seat in front of where she sat, his face seemed far from content which was very out of character for him; in fact it almost seemed like he was sad and in pain.

"Kurisu-chan, I hope you'll forgive me for this but you must understand that our secret cannot get out" his eyes reflected that of sadness as he gazed upon her, only looking away to grab something from his haori.

Her muscles tensed as she watched his hands defensively, she knew he wouldn't want to hurt her but the Shinsengumi was his life, even his family and she wouldn't underestimate the capabilities of humans when what they love most is at stake.

"That being said I cannot allow a mistake on my part to hurt those I care about most. Please, take this and leave the Shinsengumi; I will make a reason for your absence in the morning. You must leave, Kurisu-chan" her brows pulled together into a frown as she looked to what he held; in his outstretched hands was a pouch full of money which was obviously a way for her to find shelter and food on her own.

When she had lived on her own before she was able to find work or live off the land. Usually she would do work that strains regular humans; just because she didn't interact with them she still felt the need to help them.

When she wasn't doing strenuous work she would simply hunt and use vegetables from a garden which worked quite well until the colder months of the year. That was when she would use the money she had gathered throughout the warmer months in order to survive; she was content with doing what she needed in order to get by.

"Kondou-san you don't have t-"she was interrupted and pulled into a rough embrace by the gentle leader of the Shinsengumi. His strong arms wrapped around her gently, his head hung over her shoulder as she breathed in the scent of his haori; it strangely had the same sweet smell as Okita's but had a slight musk to it.

As she reciprocated the embrace she suddenly realized that Kondou-san had reminded her of what it was like to have a father.

The way he knew all of the captains as well as how he came to know her suddenly dawned on her as she tried to understand the thoughts going through the young commander's mind.

'I wonder if I've become his vision of a daughter' a slight smile tugged at her lips as his arms tightened around her.

"Consider it a token of how I feel, Kurisu-chan. Okita will be angry with me, but it's much better than how he would have been affected with the only other possible outcome of this situation" the faint smile on his face reassured her that understood exactly what he was doing.

"Thank you very much, Kondou-san" she bowed deeply once he had pulled away from the embrace and paused to look at him. His body spoke less of more relaxation and his eyes were glossy as he gazed at her.

'He must have been happy to get this over with, and happy that I had agreed to take his offering and leave.'

"I will lead you out the back way, so please put this on" he held out a robe before him that would cover her all the way to her feet and also cover her head; he placed it gently over her small body as his sweet yet masculine scent cascaded over her again.

She lifted herself to her feet and nodded to the man, putting her kimono on as well as equipping her Akaiittou to her side; she placed the pouch of money inside her Kimono and lifted the hood over her head before following Kondou-san out of her room and towards the back of the headquarters.

Her footsteps echoed almost like whispers behind the commanders as she followed behind him. His movement had an unconscious gracefulness to it and she found herself memorizing the back of him and searing it into her mind.

'Am I ever going to see them again?' her thoughts rapidly flew through questions like this as she gazed at the broad back of the leader of the Shinsengumi; but they seemed to always revolve around this one question.

As they reached the outskirts of the Shinsengumi headquarters Kondou-san's movement slowed to a stop, telling her they arrived at where her involvement with these men ended.

Something struck a chord in her chest and pain completely took over her body.

She fell to her knees, her left hand braced herself from completely collapsing to the ground, and her right hand clutched her chest as if it would ease the pain she felt.

'Wh-What's happening to me?"

Tears streamed down her face at the intolerable pain that she couldn't comprehend; it felt like she had 10 blades striking through her chest at the same time.

Her heart fluttered and the hot pain throbbed repeatedly, her stomach turned and her head spun wildly making her dizzy.

Had she been struck? She couldn't believe it as her head lifted to look at the gentle man now kneeling in front of her with worried eyes scanning over her tiny figure which was now clutching inwardly to the pain.

No, this pain was something else; something she hadn't ever felt before.

This is what it felt like to have companions and to lose them; she realized now that she was walking away from the only people she had ever interacted with on an everyday basis since her parents died.

That thought was enough to send her emotions haywire as her glazed eyes suddenly overflowed with tears as she sat frozen on the ground in front of the worried young commander for a few minutes in silence before attempting to get to her feet.

"Kurisu-chan, are you alright?" His strong hands were politely helping hold her up as she wavered to her feet with her arms wrapped tightly around her middle torso as if to hold herself together.

She opened her mouth to speak but only made a choking sound before lowering her gaze to the ground as the tears fell mercilessly.

Kondou-san's eyes softened as he understood why she was crying and clutching her chest; she felt his strong hands wrap around her tiny frame and pulled her into another gentle embrace.

The soft material brushed against her face as she wrapped her arms around him and cried silently into his dark haori.

Her whole body shook with sadness as emotions took over her entire body and the warmth gained from Kondou-san's embrace was short lived as he pulled her away to look at her face with deeply furrowed brows.

"Do not be sad my child, we will see each other again I'm sure; as for you and Souji, I don't think he'll agree to stay away from you even if I beg him" a smile graced his features as he wiped the tears away from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"T-Thank you very much Kondou-san; you don't know how wonderful you've been to me" the words that strained to come out threatened to choke her as she bowed slightly and wiped the rest of the moisture from her cheeks.

Kondou-san's large hands stroked the strands of hair that fell to the sides of her head as he gazed at her face; it seemed he was treasuring the small moments left between them.

"I want you to continue down this road until you see a large temple barracks; take refuge near there but be cautious Kurisu-kun, there are dangerous men lurking around no matter where you are."

Warmth filled her chest at hearing his words; this was the first time he had ever used her name so casually before, she had to admit it felt nice.

She nodded and bowed again to the commander as he waved for her to leave; watching as she reluctantly turned her back to him and walked away, away from the Shinsengumi, away from her friends, and away from Okita.