At six am in a room on the second floor of the restaurant Daruma-ya, a young girl's phone buzzed eagerly while a song with a lot of bass and screaming guitar play sounded through the speakers in an attempt to wake her. It was not a difficult task a normal day in the middle of the week, but today was not like any other day, or rather, the previous day had not been like any other day. She still felt weary after all the drama she lived through and swiftly turned off the torturous sound. That song was the only one she had with that type of music, as she was not really a fan of hard rock, but it was amazing for slow mornings.
She sat up with closed eyes, trying not to fall for the temptation of leaning back under the covers and return to sleep now that the offensive alarm was killed. She sat for a moment like that, not daring to open her eyes. She was sure it would be very light in the room. She listened to the sounds of the house for a moment, allowing a smile to play across her lips as she heard the normal grumbling voice of Taishou and the sweet caring Okami-san answering in her quiet manner. They must have awoken late if they had yet to start cooking for the morning guests, she thought a little worried. Then she shook it off, they could handle it, and now was not the time to worry about others, she thought and tried to ignore the guilt pulsating through her.
Finally feeling a little more awake, she opened her eyes a glint and moved to the bathroom, still half-blind. She didn't fill up the bathtub to the top, that would take more time and water than was necessary, which meant that she did not really enjoy washing herself in the morning. The air around her felt cold while her lower body was steaming hot, not a combination to aim for. She soaped up quickly and hurried to wash it off. The towel laid ready to be grabbed by the tub as soon as she had taken the plug out, and as she stood up and wrapped it around her, she watched the water disappear down the pipe with a small swooshing sound.
Just as she stepped out of the steaming bathroom, she heard her phone ring again. Puzzled she walked over, wondering if she had set another alarm, but then the music was wrong. This was her normal calling tone. She casted a glance at the clock on the wall, just 6:25, who would call so early? Maybe Takenori, about some job, she contemplated when she saw the ID was unknown. For surely, it couldn't be… Then again, maybe it was her best friend calling to check up on her. Smiling broadly, she decided that was it and marveled at the kindness of Kanae, as she pressed the green button and happily exclaimed: "Good morning!"
It wasn't Kanae. Nor was it her manager, or her ex-friend, but it was a friend all right, just not the one she was expecting. "Well, don't you sound cheery…" a man's voice said grumpily.
"Shou! Why are you awake this early?" she said, equally astonished that he was awake as at the fact he had actually called her. You could never know what he would do when he felt bored, or rather, Kyouko could, but calling her was not included on that list.
"I wanted to make sure you were okay after everything that happened yesterday", he said, slightly offended at her assumptive voice telling him she did not think he could manage waking up this early, never mind she was right until this morning where he had suddenly found himself unable to sleep when the alarm he had set awoke him, in a, he had thought, futile attempt to make sure he was out of bed early enough to call her to check on her.
"Oh," was the only response he got, and he gritted his teeth in frustration. He really wasn't a morning person, even if he happened to be love-sick fool.
"So?"
"So what?" she asked, clearly confused.
"So, are you okay?" he said.
"Oh", she said again, and he was close to cracking the phone. "I don't really know. I haven't thought about it", she said, without mentioning that her avoiding thinking about him was very deliberate, and not due to the early hour, for she had already many times had to push him out of her head.
"That's… good I suppose", she heard his faint voice through the speaker. She thought she could detect relief, but wasn't sure. "What's your plan for today? When do you start?" he suddenly asked, abruptly changing the subject, perhaps to spare her the thoughts that were bound to return if brought up.
"I've got a guest appearance in Witch Hunt today, at nine, so I'll need to leave in an hour to catch the train. Apparently they've fixed a transport from LME out to the woods so we won't have to find a lift there ourselves and get lost on the way", she said and forced a giggle.
"That's not funny, and since when do you take the train?" he said icily.
"What do you mean? I always take the train on Thursdays so that I won't have to ride my bike home so late", she said and realized she hadn't gone on a train in ages since Re-, he would always drive her nowadays.
"You really should talk to someone about getting a manager, d'you know that? You're a new and rising actress who's already been in seven appearances on TV, someone is bound to notice you, and that will not be a pretty scene, if you're stuck on a train. Have you really done that every Thursday?"
"Ehrm, uhm, actually, he used to give me a ride", she mumbled, embarrassed to say so, though why, she had no idea.
There was no question to whether he understood who she was talking about or not, as he growled low, causing her to jerk the phone from her ear a bit. She hadn't heard that coming from him in ages.
"Fine, then I'll pick you up", he said, not asked. "I'll be there at 7:15, be ready."
Only five minutes late, he knocked on the door to the restaurant, and the Okami-san opened and showed him in. When Kyouko showed up in the doorway up the stairs, she held her bag to her body and walked down, visibly cautious. Sure, he'd comforted her when she had accidentally dived into his chest while crying like a baby, but then he'd had little of a choice. Why he would go this far to help now was beyond her.
"You don't have to look so afraid", he said and offered his arm. He let it fall back to his side when she ignored it, turning his smile into a small frown. "I'm really trying", he whispered, too low for the curious couple watching them to hear, as he gently pushed her out the door to his car after she'd put on her shoes.
"Ne, anata, wasn't that the boy on the poster in her room that she's written such vulgar words over?" the Okami-san whispered to her husband when their young tenant left with the super star, completely unknown in any other way than the poster on her room.
The man only grunted in response and left to continue preparations for breakfast.
The ride to the LME building was very quiet as neither spoke. It wasn't one of those thick silences as when you can almost touch upon it, but it wasn't an altogether relaxed one as between two good friends who just happened to both have their mouths shut either. It was simply a quiet drive. Shou was too busy concentrating on the road as he had really just recently graduated from driving school and was a bit uncomfortable with having a conversation while driving, though he probably could, but being Kyouko he was sure their talk would somehow escalate into something more similar to a fight, at least a very emotional and possibly physical discussion, and that he wasn't sure he could handle.
That being said, he still felt the need for something to be said, or at least kill a bit of the silence, as he was all too aware of the girl beside him, staring out the window, clearly lost in thought, and not about him, he guessed wryly. His fingers twitched at the desire to reach out and bring her back to the car she was sitting in with flesh and bone. When the movement became too obvious and actually moved a good few inches from the steering wheel he made it into an odd drum combination, before he clicked his tongue and turned on the radio, feeling really irritated.
Kyouko was visiting the realm of possibilities. Was this how it would have looked like if Shou had loved her back? Before, when she had been head over heels for the young man, she had perhaps not dreamt about being an actress, but at least to be close to him, to support him. The dream had become slightly twisted as they had moved to Tokyo and she had realized the best she could do was become the perfect shadow and support him from the background as he slowly entered a world she could not possibly think to join. Had he loved her then, was this how things would have turned out? Would he drive her to set before going to his own recordings? Would he comfort her when she cried? Would he coach her when she made mistakes? She bit her lip. No. If he had never left her, exposed her to the hatred, feelings of revenge, and opened her eyes to the reality, she would never have sought to become an actress. She would never have grown this much, and she would have awoken one day and realized that she wasn't happy, but without the tiniest chance of breaking free.
Instead her mind wondered to where she was today. She was an actress, an occupation that she loved and was something much more than just a job. She had friends; Kanae, Maria, Itsumi, Chiori, Ren… She tried again, she had friends; Kanae, Maria, Ren… She closed her eyes shut to rid herself of the image of his unfairly handsome face that persisted on slipping into her mind as soon as she didn't firmly direct her thoughts elsewhere. Not having the buildings of inner city in Tokyo flash past her through the window of the car didn't exactly help distract her overly imaginative mind she registered too late, as he was suddenly everywhere.
His arm under hers as they walked together, his silky hair between her fingers when he slept on her lap, his skin under her hands as she had mindlessly lost herself in his perfection, his back against her body as she pressed herself close and his lips meetings hers in a moment so painfully clear she could still taste him. Her eyes flashed opened. Her pulse loud in her neck. She sucked in air as if she had held it for minutes, and looked around with hunted eyes. The car had stopped, and she recognized the building. They had already arrived at LME and Shou had parked the car on the road just outside the personnel entrance. She turned to stare at him, trying to calm her wild reaction, and saw that he observed her with a crease between his eyes.
"Th-thanks for the drive" she stammered and reached to open the door. She had all but actually put her foot on the ground when she suddenly felt him grab her arm. Fear crashed through her body as memories of how he forced himself on her when he stole her almost-first kiss.
"Kyouko", he said very quietly and she turned to look at him. The expression was so filled with emotions she didn't know what to do with them, but she didn't feel scared any more. She watched him expectantly and he visibly hesitated. "Don't… don't let him ruin you."
She thought the statement was a bit off, but understood what he meant, and let a quivery smile dance on her lips. She brought her other hand to his grip and carefully and very gently plucked his fingers off her. She was thankful his strength left him at some point, for the situation reminded her all too much of when he had grabbed her. She had not had a chance of escaping then, making her all too aware of the strength men possessed. When his hand was returned to him and her arm was again free, she raised her gaze to his face and noticed an almost fearful expression plain laid out. It was at these moments when he did not hide his true feelings behind a mask of indifference or cool that she questioned herself if he was really as cruel and horrible as she had pictured him after his betrayal. When a year had passed without him making any more stupid interruptions in her life, most of her anger had subsided to leave room for the wish to instead reconcile and make him a rival.
She hadn't made that into reality, and not only because of his sudden absence, after he had bumped in to her while she was playing Setsu, that had remained until yesterday, but for a lingering doubt. Just because he hadn't interfered with her life for a while, more than for the occasional invitation to be in his PV that she had gracefully declined on Ren's urging, didn't mean he had awoken from his teenage idiocy that had ruined her heart. She couldn't ever be sure, but at that moment, most of her suspicions were washed away.
She lifted her hand and slowly ran it down his cheek until she reached his chin. "Thank you, I won't" she said and left the car.
He let her go since he couldn't hold her there any longer without ruining whatever trust they had built up after their long and intense break-up. He stared at Ren, which he had noticed just as she was about to step out, and in a panicked second grabbed her to prevent her from meeting him, with warning eyes that conveyed the message if you hurt her there won't be a you left to apologize. Then he put the first gear in and left the street.
Ren was left very confused. Not only had an ever returning nightmare come to life as he saw Kyouko step out of Shou's car without the face of a released hostage, but the man in question had looked at him with a warning clear as daylight playing on his face, without glee in his eyes. He didn't spout out the look of victory or smugness he always expected to see if this were ever to happen. His fists clenched as he watched the car roll out swiftly with the driver not casting a second glance at him to ensure him it wasn't what it looked like. A brat with vague possessiveness he could handle, but a matured man with true feelings of love, he could not.
He followed Kyouko with his eyes and moved to the entrance after her, not having much of a choice unless he wanted to wait outside for her to disappear before he entered. His long strides were perhaps a little too eager as he reached the door soon enough for him to open it for her, and her eyes darted up to meet his with a surprised look on her face. He couldn't quite decipher the next expression that crossed her features, and didn't have enough time to start trying at that particular moment. Taking Kanae's warning seriously he didn't smile and just walked past her without saying a word not to break the promise of not speaking to her again. He could feel her eyes on his him, but ignored it. He was sure her gaze had turned hateful by then and wasn't willing to put himself in the way of it if he could avoid it. He didn't need confirmation that she really hated him now. Not after having watched the encounter between her and Shou as she had so tenderly stroked his face.
The irony of the whole situation prickled his back and he straightened out his shoulders as they threatened to hunch up in a defensive manner inappropriate for a model like himself. When had the game been turned on him, he wondered and picked up his phone to call his manager to inform him he had arrived as planned.
Inside Kyouko new feelings were stirring up. Coldness. She had not felt so cold in… she didn't remember since when. His look had been so distant, as he if he didn't even recognize her, and it wrenched her heart. Sure, she had told him to stay away, but she had not been prepared to deal with the look of complete despise as he had given her when they had first met. Unable to make her legs move or her voice work, she gripped her arms around her body and just watched his retreating back. It wasn't fair, how could he be so unaffected? Hadn't he said he loved her? She bit on the inside of her cheek to force some sense into her mind. That only proved what she already knew, there were no such thing as love. It was just lust for sex or wishes to have someone serve you, and sometimes a combination of both.
She didn't realize as she began shaking and sunk to her knees. No, she didn't believe that. When was it that she had begun doubting her conviction of a loveless life? She didn't know. She just knew that whenever she thought of him, whether it was before or after their lunch yesterday, her heart would race and her chest tighten. Whenever she saw his face she wanted to touch it, hear him speak and make him smile. She wanted to see the faces he didn't show anyone else. She wanted to know that he wouldn't leave her, even if she was being selfish.
No one of the increasing number that came through the door took any notice of her. They were already too used to the pink girls creating the most odd of things and didn't want to risk being associated with any of them, never mind all three of them had actually become quite famous in the previous year. Whenever they had their jump suits on it was as if they were labeled with an incurable decease that was passed on through looking for too long. Therefore Kyouko was very surprised when someone actually grabbed hold of one of her shoulders and shook it in search for a response.
"Kyouko-san, what's the matter?" asked a worried voice, making her give up her statue state and look up at the one causing the interruption.
It was Chiori, wearing her own cursed jump suit in pink, labeling her with the same decease and therefore making her immune to transmission of it. Leaving the silly thoughts behind, Kyouko forced a smile on her face and tried to greet her as cheerily as she could muster. She hadn't seen her friend in almost three weeks and shouldn't burden her with her worries the first second they meet.
"Hi, Chiori-san!" she said and let go of her death grip around her body. The look she received was not one of relief or happiness, and the smile slipped off her face.
"Really, Kyouko-san, I've known you long enough to see when something's wrong. Please don't exclude me; you and Kanae-san are the only friends I've got."
Suddenly she was filled with guilt as she realized it was true. After giving up her horrible notes where she kept writing everything that pissed her off, to instead start leading a life honest to herself, she hadn't been able to keep many friends. None but her cursed LoveMe sisters, to be exact. It wasn't that Kanae and Kyouko were perfect; they just shared the same fate and knew how to take random comments with stingy edges with a pinch of salt. It didn't hurt that Chiori looked up tremendously to the two actresses either.
"I'm sorry, it's not intentional. I just don't think you'll be so happy with what I'm about to say after you've heard it."
"Oh yeah? Try me?" she said with a determination glowing out her eyes.
"It involves love and Tsuruga Ren" she said and ignored the wince of pain bringing up his name caused her. Chiori's eyes bulged open and for a moment she seemed to have frozen in place.
"How long was I gone for?" she mumbled, more to herself than anyone else. "Now, give me all the details."
"I would love to, but I'm seriously running late for my job. We're supposed to go together to some place outside Tokyo, so being late is not really an option", Kyouko confessed and rose from her hunched up position on the floor, smiling thankfully at the hand that was offered to her.
"Oh" she said, a bit surprised. "Is it a closed set?" she then asked, causing Kyouko to frown in confusion.
"No, I don't think so. Why?"
"Great, then I'll come along! I've only got LoveMe work planned out for the entire day and it makes me yawn at just the thought of it", she said and hid a big, though played, yawn behind a hand in an excellent imitation of being on the verge of falling asleep, then smiled brightly.
"But won't you need to fit those hours in? Your schedule must be growing tighter just as mine and Moko-san's" she said, worried, and her eye brows rose as the girl looked a little sad.
"I haven't got any new big offers since my last project ended, so I'm stuck with small gigs here and there. I could really do LoveMe work at any time, and besides, I friend in need takes priority even if I had more work than Tsuruga Ren!" she exclaimed, then threw her hand over her mouth as she remembered what the issue with her friend was.
Smiling at her friend's consideration, she still suspected it was the thought of getting out of the LME building that was encouraging her more than the prospect of listening to her Kyouko's complaints about some man. She ignored her slip-up and nodded in agreement. "That's fine then, but we'll need to go now if we're to get there in the first place."
They hurried to the designated destination and met up with the rest of the cast that would go in the same bus. She asked the director if it was alright that her temporary manager (which Chiori happily agreed to become for the day) could come along, which she was granted with a nod and a look of isn't that obvious feeling to it.
She greeted her fellow co-stars and then they went to pack themselves into the bus. It was bigger than a normal city bus, but with all the equipment tucked into the storage room under the bus, all the personal bags and accessories had to go in the bus, making the space cramped and warm very fast.
Chiori and Kyouko sat in the back together with a lot of baggage surrounding them in an attempt to seclude themselves a bit so that they could talk undisturbed. The closest person was sitting two seats before them, but if they whispered under the drone of the engine, it was very unlikely someone would hear them.
"So there, we're alone and we've got time. Now spill, what's this I'm hearing about Tsuruga-san?" she asked with an almost hungry expression, making Kyouko re-evaluate the possibility that Chiori might have looked forward to this trip solely because she got to listen to her friend's complaints about some man, or rather, a certain man.
Hope you enjoyed! It took longer than I thought to get the next chapter up since I don't really think it's much fun when my favorite characters are fighting. Please don't forget to review. Until next time…
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