disclaimer: the x-files do not belong tome, i'm simply borrowing characters and situations for recreational purposes and my immense enjoyment.
a/n: so this and the next chapter are the ones you have been asking for. hopefully i do the characters justice. i have never changed my mind about this scenario, this has been the direction the story has been going in all along. however, your feedback will determine the way the story goes in the future, so please be sure to tell me whether or not it was a good route to take. i start my old job back today, so for those of you who love the regular updates, please be patient.
now on to the show...
~March 26, 1989~
"Is that what you're wearing?" Scully asked as she walked into Mulder's bedroom Easter morning. She looked stunning in a knee-length, cap-sleeved, white floral dress and her hair blow dried into loose waves. Anna was in her arms in a sea green dress with a white polo underneath and ribbon around the middle, fighting to remove the white hat on her tiny head. He was going with them to mass, then around to her parents' later on. It was sunny outside, almost 9:30 (which meant they were running late), and everything felt very Easter-y. Except for Mulder, who had dressed himself in a black T-shirt and jeans.
"What? You said 'casual.'"
"No, I said 'church casual.'"
"So what am I supposed to look like?"
"Here," Scully sighed, though she was still smiling, handing Anna to him and opening his closet doors wider. Mulder took her hat in his hand. Her baby hair was thin, but he could make out the wisps of red strands amongst the blonde ones. He hoped she'd be a redhead like her mom. He'd grown to like redheads quite a lot in the recent months.
"First of all, you don't wear black to church unless there's a funeral. Since Easter is in celebration of the resurrection, it would probably be the absolute worst day to wear black to church. And my mom would probably flip if she saw jeans later at the house. Here you go, put these khaki pants on. Brown belt. Brown shoes. Don't you ever wear anything but black and gray? This shirt is perfect," Scully rambled, throwing clothes on the bed, then eventually showing him a light blue polo that she had pulled from deep within the closet.
"Ew, Scully, I hate that shirt. It's too… 'soccer dad.'"
"Tough."
"But all the other kids will make fun of me."
"No, because all the other kids' wives will dress them exactly like you."
Mulder gulped. He tried very hard to brush off her comment, but it did make his throat go dry. He wanted nothing more than to treat Scully like his wife, but he knew they weren't on that level yet.
Scully mentally kicked herself for making such a stupid statement. Comparing herself to Mulder's wife? What was she trying to do, kick him out of her life forever? If there was one thing that was going to scare him away at this point, it was going to be insinuating that they were a married couple, even though they walked and talked like one.
Mulder hadn't been in a church in around 15 years. His father had been Methodist, his mother Jewish, but once Sam had been taken, the whole family put religion on the back burner. They had never been very stringent anyways, only making it to services during holidays. He couldn't say that he missed it. There had always been an investigative side of him that religion just provided too many questions for. Eventually, through his years at college and now with his job, faith had just fallen by the wayside and he was perfectly fine with it. But, if it would make Scully happy, he'd attend mass every day for the rest of his life. Sitting through an hour of religious services wasn't going to kill him.
"I have no idea what to do," he whispered to her as she genuflected and crossed herself before sitting down.
"Just do what I do. Except you don't have to kneel. Or walk up for communion. Okay, just stand and sit. Stand and sit when I stand and sit, got that? Oh, and shake hands."
"Holy sh—"
"Mulder!"
They were discussing the harmful effects of incense when they pulled up to her parents' house in Baltimore. Seeing the picture-perfect scene before him, Mulder suddenly became very nervous about the impression he was going to make on Scully's family. "Oh, so you're the man who's been seeing my daughter these past few months?" "Not seeing, sir, just spending every spare moment with and helping to raise a little girl with. But there is no hint of romance in our relationship, in case you were wondering. Gay? No, I'm not gay. Just in an incredibly confusing relationship with your daughter." He broke out in a cold sweat.
"So, who all is going to be here again?" Mulder asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously.
"My mom and dad, obviously, Melissa, Charlie, Bill, and Bill's fiancée, Tara," she told him, and picking up on his tone asked, "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
"Oh yeah," he lied.
For some reason, Mulder had an image of the entire family running to meet Dana in the foyer once they walked in. He knew that meeting the Scullys was going to be a totally different experience from the family he grew up in. When he heard no footsteps coming as he closed the door, though, Mulder breathed out a huge sigh of relief. He didn't know if he could take them all in at once. Only a hectic-looking Maggie met them at the door, kissing her daughter and granddaughter.
"Hello sweethearts, hello Fox. How is your shoulder?"
"Doing well, thank you. And thank you for having me today."
"Oh, it will be so nice to have the whole family here. Come on dear, everyone is in the living room and dinner's almost ready," Maggie said, taking Mulder's arm and leading him down a hallway and to the living room. Scully was snickering behind them. Her mother's intentions were good, but she was about to throw Mulder to the sharks.
The Scully living room was very homey. A large entertainment center was against one wall, and two couches, a loveseat, and a recliner surrounded it. There were also bookshelves against the wall between the living room and open dining room. In one corner sat a changing table and baby toys, but that was no surprise. Mulder knew how close Scully was with her parents.
Her family was watching golf on TV, something Mulder would have to learn to respect. On the couch were a tall, lanky, woman with shoulder-length faint red hair, a woman with blonde hair who looked a little out-of-place, and a tall light-haired man, who Mulder assumed to be Melissa, Tara, and Bill. On the loveseat, a very tall and very red-headed young man was passed out, and the way Scully spoke of him, he knew that had to be Charlie. Then, reclined in the chair, was a mostly-bald, round red-haired man wearing something akin to what Mulder was wearing, only he had slippers on. They didn't look scary, but Mulder was an FBI agent, he knew that things that were seemingly harmless could often be extremely dangerous.
"Alright, guys, time to get up. Look who's here," Maggie announced, still holding on to Mulder's arm. Melissa jumped off the couch to see her sister and niece, and after hugging Dana immediately snatched Anna from her arms. Then came Tara, and then Bill. The interaction between Scully and Bill was cold, Mulder noticed, but at least it was civil. As Capt. Scully left his chair, he slapped his still-conked son with a newspaper.
"Charlie had quite the time last night, in case you couldn't tell," Melissa remarked to her sister.
"Hey Dane," Charlie smiled, coming toward her with a stagger and then practically collapsing in her arms as he hugged her. Even though he smelled like beer, she could still tell through his embrace that he was truly happy to see her.
Nothing Mulder had witnessed of their family interactions, though, even compared to watching how Scully reacted to her father.
"How's it going Ahab?" she asked, her smile growing as her father walked up to her.
"Everything's ship shape Starbuck, now that you're home," he said, saluting briefly, then pulling her into a long hug. It was obvious that they shared a special connection. Dana had always been "daddy's little girl."Just like with her mother, a real strain had been put on their relationship when she had gotten pregnant. The first time he saw Anna, though, he fell in love.
Scully wrapped her arms around her father and only wanted to never let go. She was transported back years in that simple embrace. Back to when she would ride on his shoulders or he would tuck her into bed. She'd cry for days after he left for a tour. She'd be the first one in his arms when he came home.
"Bill," Maggie started, getting her husband's attention. Mulder took another deep breath, his umpteenth of the day. This was it.
Capt. Scully's demeanor had been very friendly until he turned his attention toward Mulder. He switched from "Dana's daddy" to "Dana's father."
"This is Fox Mulder, Dana's friend," she introduced them. Mulder held out his hand for the captain to shake, hoping that it was firm and confident instead of clammy and loose. The man had looked rapists, serial murderers, and the most detestable people in society square in the eye, and nothing frightened him more than Scully's father.
"Hello sir, thank you for having me today," Mulder said, knowing what a whiny little brown-noser he sounded like.
"Not a problem. Maggie and Dana have told me quite a lot about you, and you seem to be quite the upstanding guy. And as long as my wife and little girl have a favorable opinion of you, I have a favorable opinion of you."
"Thank you. Your daughter is an amazing person, I'm just lucky she lets me hang around."
"Yeah, my Starbuck is very special," Capt. Scully ended with, conveying to Mulder a much deeper message. If he ever even thought of hurting his daughter, he'd have hell to pay. Then, as Mulder watched the captain take his granddaughter from Melissa, he knew that if he ever thought about hurting her, he may as well kiss his own existence goodbye.
"I think he likes you," Scully whispered to him.
"I'd hate to see how he would be if he didn't," he whispered back, and she rubbed his arm. She couldn't believe what he was enduring for her.
"Alright, dinner's almost done, so get ready to eat," Maggie told everyone before her other children could get their piece of Mulder.
Dinner was delicious, as Mulder told Mrs. Scully several times. It was a little awkward, though, after the interrogation from her family added to the glares he was getting from Scully's older brother from across the table. She noticed. Melissa did too. Nobody could compete with them in a glare-off.
After everyone was done eating, he made an impression by telling Maggie to sit down and let him do the dishes. Not to be outdone, Bill stood up and began clearing the table as well. Mulder whipped his head around in a panic, looking for Scully, and she gave him a sympathetic look. There was nothing she could do for him.
"Thank you boys very much. Don't worry about putting everything away, I'll do that later. Meet us in the living room when you're done, we're going to give Anna her Easter basket," Maggie smiled sweetly, leaving the men to themselves. Mulder's philosophy was just to keep his head down and soldier through the chore he volunteered for, hoping to exchange as few words as possible with the man who obviously had a problem with him. Bill had other plans, though.
"Let's cut to the chase, Mr. Mulder, what is it that you want with my sister?" Bill asked as soon as his family was out of earshot.
"I don't want anything with your sister. We're friends," Mulder answered honestly.
"My parents may believe that, Mulder, but I know that's not the case. No man just sticks around to be friends with a woman and a baby that he has no obligation to. What does she give you? What do you take from her?"
"I don't take anything from her, Bill. I never would. I'm sorry if you find it hard to believe, but I really do care about your sister and Anna."
"Then what's the problem with her?"
"She's… there's no problem with her. She's perfect."
"Listen, Mulder, my sister has made some dumb decisions concerning her body and her life, and I'm sick of sitting back and watching people take advantage of her. You either man up or get out of her life," Bill gave the ultimatum. He wasn't even helping with the dishes anymore.
"Dana is not dumb, Bill. And I have no knowledge of the so-called 'dumb' decisions she's made, but if they gave her Anna and led her to me, then I don't think they're dumb at all. She's brilliant, talented, compassionate, a great mother, and the best friend I've ever had. Respectfully, Bill, I think you're the one who needs to 'man up' and support your sister."
"Don't tell me I need to support her. I'm the one who has had to hear about the mistakes she's made, the ones that have kept my mother up all night crying. I'm the one who hunted down the scumbag she got pregnant with, and I'm the one who drove her and Anna and all of her things home from California after that asshole professor—"
"Bill? Mulder?" a voice came from the doorway. It was Melissa. She knew something was up between them, but she thankfully hadn't heard their conversation.
"Hey, Anna's diving into her Easter basket, so you should probably hurry up."
As Mulder left to follow Melissa, he could feel Bill's eyes on his back, but he chose to ignore them. He hated that Bill had been the one to give him the most information about Scully's life before him. Frustration boiled inside of him as he thought of that night not very long ago where he trusted Scully with the story of the worst period of his life. He confessed everything to her, and he had to hear about the man who got her pregnant from her angry brother? It wasn't fair.
"Are you okay?" Scully asked as he sat down next to her. Without meeting her eyes, Mulder nodded, focusing intently on Anna and Capt. Scully in the middle of the room.
What had Bill said to him? What had he said to him that would make Mulder brush her off like that? Scully watched her brother sit down next to his fiancée, his cheeks looking flushed, and knew they had had a less-than-friendly conversation. He was meddling in her life again. If they were alone, she would have lit into his ass like none other, holiday or not.
"Thanks for dinner, Mom, it was wonderful," Scully said on the doorstep, kissing her mother goodbye carefully, so she wouldn't wake Anna sleeping in her arms. Easter dress stained with the chocolate that Charlie had snuck her. Pink bunny ears taking the place of her hat.
"Thank you for coming," Maggie said, and they hugged. "And thank you, Fox, for coming. I hope to be seeing much more of you in the future."
He accepted her open arms and nodded. He couldn't bring himself to say that he would be around much more, because he didn't know if he would be around much more at all after tonight. His sad gaze turned to the little girl sleeping in Scully's arms. He loved her so much. He couldn't imagine never seeing her again.
"Fox, I'm very glad I met you," Capt. Scully confessed to him, putting his arms around Mulder in a very friendly way. This would have thrilled his daughter to death had she not been so worried about Mulder's confrontation with Bill. He hadn't been the same all day, acting very cold and distant toward her no matter what she tried.
"Same here, sir. You have a lovely home," was all Mulder could bring himself to say. He wasn't even worried about the ass-kicking he was sure the captain could give him as he decided that he was at the end of his rope.
"Have a safe trip kids," Maggie called from the front porch as they got into the car. Scully got in the driver's seat. And waved as they pulled away.
Not sure what he wanted to say, but knowing that they would have to have a conversation about the way he acted toward her that day, Mulder kept his body turned away from Scully and watched the world go by outside of the car. They were almost to College Park before she decided that she had to address the issue.
"Mulder, what did Bill say to you while you were doing dishes?" she came outright and said it.
"It doesn't matter," he said in a pretty catty manner.
"Yes it does. Look, you haven't spoken to me since we got done eating, almost my entire day has been spent upset and worried about why you wouldn't talk to me, and that greatly affected my ability to enjoy my daughter's first Easter. So you're going to tell me what's going on because I've taken all I can handle," Scully vented. She didn't mean for it to sound so angry, but she was angry. She knew that Bill could possibly ruin the day, but she never suspected that Mulder would. In fact, for weeks she had been excited to bring Mulder around to her family. She was so proud to have met a guy like him, and he had to pick that day to sulk around?
"Well you're not the only person who's had all they can handle."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"When are you going to trust me enough to tell me about Anna's father?" his words almost stopped her heart in her chest. "I mean, I met your family today, Scully. I met your family because for over five months I have been dedicated to you and Anna. And I wouldn't change a thing. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat because I have no regrets about our relationship. But I had to hear from your brother today about how he kicked Anna's father's ass, and something about a professor being the reason you came back home. And it wasn't much, Scully, but your brother was the one who told me that. The man who glared at me all through dinner and told me to either 'man up or leave.' The tiny pieces of information I got about the story came from a man who unabashedly hates my guts. And then I just started thinking, 'Why am I hearing this from her brother? What have I or haven't I done that makes her not trust me enough to tell me this?' So that's what I want to know, Scully. I want to know why after all this time and all of this trust I thought we built up with each other you still can't tell me about the father of the little girl I love like my own."
She couldn't say she was surprised that he blew up like that. Scully knew that she had problems trusting people, and that often led to frustrations like this. But the situation, and the fact that Mulder could say what he said to her after she admitted to him her problems with men, brought tears to her eyes. Not like most men, she scoffed to herself.
"What I think is ridiculous is that you think you have a right to know these things about my life. Do you want me to tell you about every mistake I've made in the past 25 years? I've got time," Scully said calmly, to show that she was better than Mulder.
"That's not what I want and you know it. But I've proven myself over and over again to you. I've told you about the darkest part of my life. I don't like feeling that my best friend is a mystery to me."
"I'm not a mystery. You have access to my whole life. Just because I've moved on from my past does not mean that I don't trust you. But you bringing this up makes me feel that you don't trust me. And as far as you telling me about your sister, that was your choice. I never made you tell me anything."
"What did I tell you before I let you know about Samantha? I told you I owed it to you because of how close we'd gotten."
"How dare you!" Scully was pushed over the edge and screamed at him loud enough to shock even herself. "How dare you insinuate that I owe you anything! We did not enter a contract when we became friends, and there were no stipulations we agreed upon about telling each other our secrets! If I want to keep my daughter's paternity to myself, then that is my right, and you have no place telling me that I owe you anything! I owe you nothing, Mulder! Absolutely nothing!" she spat, tears falling freely down her face. Her outburst woke Anna up, and she began to cry. She was emotional and it was dark; Scully knew that she should pull over. But she kept driving faster, needing to get home.
Mulder couldn't bring himself to discuss the issue any further. His intentions hadn't been to make her so upset. It was an emotional subject, though. By the time they pulled up to his apartment, he could even sympathize with her point of view.
"Don't bother coming over to babysit tomorrow," Scully said, pulling up to the curb instead of parking in the parking lot.
"Scully…"
"Or at all next week. In fact, you don't have to worry about her anymore. She's not your child."
Her words physically hurt him. He knew that he had asked a lot of her, and for that he was sorry, but separating him from Anna was possibly the worst thing she could do to him.
After she had pulled away in a hurry, it was all he could do to make it to the stoop, where he broke down at the thought of his sad and scared little girl hurtling at 60 mph in a metal wagon away from him, possibly forever.
i rewrote this chapter at least 3 times, but i think it was worth it. who do you think is right? Scully? Mulder? i don't even know whose side i'm on!