Over the screen of Undyne's phone, Alphys waved her clawed hands despite the fact that they were clutching different circuits and papers and a spoon of all things. What terrible science project she might be wrestling with far surpassed Undyne's own vast knowledge of the subject seeing as Undyne got her degree in BUTTKICKING!
A degree useful for many things, least of all teaching practical lessons to two brats when she tracked down the royal pains. To be fair, it was Alphys that was helping to track them down, but the sentiment remained. Undyne was literally five to ten minutes out from their location. Closer considering she was close to running as possible without causing an unwanted panic in the city streets of Monstertown. Things were looking up.
"Al-alright Undyne I think I've got them for sure! They're still in that new greenhouse thing! Sans, are you sure you can't just teleport over?" During the second sentence, Alphys raised her voice so that Sans could hear the phone's limited volume. Poor Alphys probably had more important things to do than help Undyne recover her career, but at the very least, Undyne would make sure to make it up to Alphys. Sans too for losing his job.
Speaking of which…
"Teleport? That sounds cool." Sans leaned in over Undyne's shoulder to address the question. The skeleton was now out of his beige apron and in his usual blue hoodie, though where he found the time to change lay the route to madness that Undyne wasn't willing to breech now of all days.
"So can you teleport over?" Undyne hopped over a rock in the middle of the path big enough to trip her, and instead of moving aside like any reasonable monster, Sans had the audacity to grab and cling to her back like some koala from Super Koala Fighters Deluxe, the continuing animation. Forget being a lazy skeleton, Undyne was pretty sure the guy spent more energy trying to be lazy than actually completing whatever task he was supposed to be doing.
Undyne could respect that level of dedication and lifestyle.
Sans didn't let go after Undyne cleared the rock and actually clung to Undyne's shoulders like he was one of the children she was sent to find instead of her real headaches. He shrugged, a sight Undyne needed to awkwardly move her neck to notice " I mean teleporting is pretty cool. I wish I could teleport."
Without any visible sign of magical use, Sans' weight on Undyne's shoulders disappeared. Undyne felt a pain in her eye, specifically her left one, but just grit her teeth for the upcoming punchline.
Appearing over Alphy's shoulder, Sans did not disappointed.
"Shortcuts on the other hand…"
Alphys shrieked when Sans materialized right next to her shoulders, falling into her legendary swivel chair of lights and magic. The minute she hit the chair, a loud groan came from over the phones speakers-
PFFFFFFFFFFFT
and Undyne immediately resolved to stick shaving cream into Sans' sock or something infantile like that in return for that whoopee cushion trick. For no reason other than defending her crush- she meant her dear friend! Right, her dear friend!
Still, Alphys started chuckling not a second later, clearing off her chair any evidence of the practical joke. Sans practically fell apart, bones and all, ducking out of view of the camera. His chuckling could be heard over the speakers, but the fact that he literally laughed himself into the ground sealed his fate. Vengeance would be swift.
Undyne couldn't help but smile too because for how long today had been, this was really one of the first times she really felt her guard drop. Sans' antics, while untimely, had that kind of effect. He did this often in training too, but when people were upset or stressed, his attention shifted towards making them laugh. He probably thought nobody noticed the way he tried to inspire hope.
Undyne couldn't help but smile at Sans' antics. Oh and plot her sweet revenge.
Every monster did their part against the futility of the Underground. You could always count on someone to lend a hand in the dark, even if that hand was loaded with a whoopee cushion. Undyne's shoulders fell from their tense and battle ready spot, relaxing even as she picked her way through the streets. Things truly were looking up.
Which is exactly why her phone started ringing not a moment later.
"Hold on guys, I'm getting a call. See if you can pinpoint the Royal Pain's location while I answer it." Undyne really didn't want to hang up on Alphys but the number on their phone was that of one of the three guard captains. Alphys, still chuckling to herself while helping Sans pick himself up from the ground, ended the video call.
"So how much you wanna bet that's a problem?"
Sans put a hand on Undyne's shoulder, who did not flinch despite the fact that said hand, only a second ago, occupied a completely different space-time. "I'll bet you 1,000 gold it's those kids." Undyne just glared at the skeleton who quickly removed his hand. "Alright, 10,000 gold. You drive a hard bargain."
For being two white pinpricks in a sea of darkness, Sans' eyes shined with mirth and his patent brand of mischief making. Truly one of a kind. Wait, he apparently had a brother. What if Sans was the mature one? Undyne could only imagine what that household could be like.
(FREAKING AWESOME)!
Still, she had a call to answer. Preferably good news. Bound to be good news. Things were looking up after all.
"Captain Astigmatism sir!" Undyne saluted despite the fact she only let the phone go to voice instead of the videochat she had on with Alphys. Saluting just tickled that sense of duty. "How is it going old man?"
"It's Astigmatism Senior cadet. Astigmatism senior!" Funny that the captain let the old man comment slide. Undyne rolled her eyes. Hey wait, weren't Astigmatisms supposed to be older forms of Looks? Then how come Councilor Look-at-Me was older than the captain but still only a Look? That made almost as much sense as the end of that one anime with the alchemists! Was that one of the reasons why he insisted on being called senior? What was the logic of that?
Undyne would have left herself to ruminate further, but something about the call held her back. Astigmatism (Senior) sounded breathless. Like he ran a mile before calling. No wait, he sounded like he was running a mile as he used his phone.
"What's wrong captain?" Undyne always made sure to kiss up to the captains. Nah, that would be ridiculous. She taunted her sovereign leader for a living and the guard wasn't that strict. "How's it going old man?"
Because teasing her higher ups meant things would be okay. Maybe the captain was just calling her to forget sentry duty on her next day off. He knew that she was on her top secret job of being a babysitter, perhaps he was planning to give her a day off. Asgore probably filled him in on everything.
Wait, he was calling from the council meeting! She could talk to Asgore! She could fess up everything! With the King aware of the problem, they could speed up the process of human hunting! Wait, that came out wrong, but the point reamined. This was her chance to-
"We have an emergency situation cadet, and the king won't answer the phone. I can't access the PA systems."
Fishsticks.
Why would he need to call Asgore? Because the captain was in the middle of a meeting of advisors with the king sitting right next to him. He certainly wasn't misinformed about the whole debacle. That would be ridiculous. Maybe the emergency situation was an annoying dog breaking into the armory. Maybe Undyne, an individual used to not thinking hard, was simply too exhausted and misheard.
Well no time for hypotheticals. "What do you mean boss? Isn't Asgore with you?"
"Asgore? I haven't seen or heard him all week."
Well that sounded promising.
Astigmatism continued his out of breath speech. "On patrol, I found a human in the city. Upon confrontation, a monster aided them in their escape. I'm sure you're aware what humans can do. Your orders are to begin evacuations effective immediately."
Important to note in this situation was that Undyne left the park long ago. In fact, she was close enough to probably find the greenhouse all by herself though it would be easier if Alphys tracked it down because directions were everyone's pains. Undyne was right there! This meant that she was in civilization, and while most of the crowd was further up on the main streets, there were still a few monsters on the streets next to her.
All these monsters had front row tickets to the point in which Undyne's already terrible day came to its climax of punching Undyne in the face. Kinda like the way she swung her fist into a nearby wall and leaving a sizable indentation into it. That was Undyne. Undyne was a wall with a bruised face. An angry wall.
Nice of fate to get her hopes up before sending it crumbling down. Remind Undyne to punch fate in the face next time they met.
Momentarily ignoring the stinging pain in her hand, Undyne called out, "Sir, wait! Didn't the king tell you about-."
Before she could say anything else to the captain, the monster hung up the phone to presumably alert the rest of the kingdom. Which was great. Really just perfect. Absolutely wonderful!
If Undyne could look at herself in the mirror at that moment, she would have seen a disheveled fish functioning on far too little sleep for what was to follow. Was this the Undyne that Sans tried to help relax earlier? That was actually nice of the guy. Perhaps Sans had the right idea about naps. Once Undyne finished burning the entire city to the ground, she could take a nap.
Those kids were finished. But they weren't the only ones.
Undyne turned to face Sans. "Well we're screwed."
Sans' expression didn't change as usual, but he did stick his hands into his hoodie. "So ummmm. That's not good huh? Maybe it's a different human and criminal accomplice."
From Sans' jacket, a song started playing not even a second after Sans's sentence. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a track phone. Sans's phone, a beat-up model that looked like it had barely been cleaned since being dragged out of the dump, began to ring. He took one look at it and showed the caller ID to Undyne which identified the other line as Captain eyeball guy.
To be honest, Captain eyeball guy was tame for Sans, but Astigmatism's name was already a pun, and Undyne did not care in the slightest anymore. She had bigger fish to fry.
Sans waggled the phone. "I think I can figure out what this call is about. He's even calling the lookouts. Pretty thorough of the guy." Sans shoved the phone back into his jacket which noticeably caused no distortion in the fabric like the phone had simply disappeared.
If she wasn't at her breaking point, Undyne might have said something to lighten the mood. The fact remained, though, that Undyne broke. Again. One would think that she hit that point a long time ago, but Undyne was discovering all sorts of new things today wasn't she?
"You better start doing that teleport thing."
"What teleport thing? Too bad I can't teleport as we previously established" Sans chuckled to himself, but with a different tone from his previous jests. One probably influenced by the steam Undyne was giving off through pure rage. Pure directed rage.
Undyne formed a spear in her hand, pointed directly at where Sans' heart would be if he wasn't made of bones and ketchup. "Teleport. Now!"
"Alright, alright! No need to puffer up at me. Get it, cause you're a-"
"ARGH!"
Sans disappeared. A part of Undyne felt shame at threatening the guy like that, but for the other parts? Well, they were focused on the concern that everything went sideways in the worst possible way. It was official. Undyne was the. Worst. Babysitter. Ever.
Well, not a moment to lose. Subtlety was officially out, but then again… Undyne was never a fan.
It was a march that took her out of that sidealley and onto the bigger yet crowded main street. She ought have been wearing something more imposing than casual clothes for what she planned next, but the grip on her spear more than made up for the lack of armor for her intimidation factor. Put one steaming fish and add to the mix a busy street of carousing, gossiping,and meandering monsters. She burst into their sight and without even giving the crowd a moment to think or talk or get in her way, Undyne took a deep breath, and at the top of her lungs...
"HEY, YOU LOT! GET OUT OF MY WAY! ROYAL GUARD BUSINESS!"
Instead of moving, Undyne only attracted an unsurprising number of looks, even some annoyed glares at having their business interrupted. One of the food vendors, wearing the same uniform Sans originally wore, had the audacity to make a rude gesture at her.
Was that Sans' old boss? Well good riddance for him losing that job. Undyne wouldn't want to work for that buffoon anyway. Undyne didn't break her killer stare at the former living being. In fact, her next bit was shouted directly at him.
"I WILL SHOVE YOU INTO THE WATERFALL DUMPS! MOVE OR BE MOVED!"
She pointed her spear straight at the vendor that fired Sans, grinning with razor sharp teeth and ire that, while technically misplaced, made her feel better about herself.
The troublesome food vendor fainted, eyes rolling to the back of his head in fear.
The crowd scattered at that. She scattered the crowd like a drill would from that one robot anime would tear through other mecha. That was a good metaphor for Undyne too because she was ready to tear something apart. Preferably two absolute idiots.
Undyne's phone started ringing. Undyne almost chucked it into the wall until she read Alphys' name which meant the phone got to live after all. Undyne didn't break her stride, switching to video with her focus still on barging through the rioting streets.
Rioting was a good word to use because Undyne noticed Royal guards beginning to arrive, struggling to direct the moving crowds into a semblance of calm. But the crowd was confused and a very fickle thing. For one, no one really explained to them what they were running from because the PA systems were yet to fire. All this, while noticeable, fell to the back of Undyne's mind because her phone showed the panic the streets could not.
Alphys was shivering on the screen and certainly not with laughter like before. In the background, Undyne could make out a mess of papers that had been thrown to the winds and scattered onto the ground, blueprints from Alphys's new job that were going to waste. What a way to start a new lab. What a day.
"U-Undyne. The captain of the guard just called me! He said there's a human!" Alphys bit her nails, a task made harder by shaking hands. Her eyes were darting back and forth in calculating panic. "They're going to tear those kids apart!"
"Not if I get to them first." Likewise, Undyne's hands shook with a slightly different emotion.
"Ummm… That sounds uhh great! But I lost track of them on the cameras, and Captain Astigmatism wants me to sound the PA for evacuations but all the guard already knows!"
"I said move! Scatter punks!" Undyne snarled at monsters twice her age and weight limit but the ones in front of her thought better than piss off the angry fish. Especially one with a deathgrip on her shining, teal spear that promised bodily harm. "Sorry Alphys. I missed that last part."
Undyne started to sprint. She wasn't in her full armor which meant that she could move much quicker while still being able to bulldoze her way into anything in the path by virtue of stubbornness and muscle. Where she was going, Undyne didn't know. But her gut said move. Undyne obliged.
"They're not in the greenhouse anymore! I'm looking for the kids but… Astigmatism keeps calling! I'm trying to stall him, but I think he sent someone to check in and alert the whole Underground!"
Well that could be bad. Already, Undyne knew the chance of keeping this quiet died a horrible death. But the chance that something would go horribly wrong loomed over the conversation and the panicking city.
"Is anyone close enough to that lab in Hotland? Can you delay the guards?"
Alphys laughed out loud. "Y-Yeah, the brand new royal scientist that no one has heard speak calls off the war on humanity. T-that will go over well. I-I'l get right on that!"
Shoot. Alphys was right. Also beautiful but that fact needed to be crushed to a deeper part of Undyne's psyche while she dealt with the mess at hand. "Focus on finding out where those two went."
Well, where one of them went to be honest, but Undyne was blaming both Asriel and Chara. They were a set pair of petty pranksters and kids. When Undyne grounded them for the rest of their lives, they would be sharing the six life sentences together.
A royal guard member called out to Undyne and probably received the surprise of his life when Undyne not only ignored him, but barged past the crowd. All with the hopes of spotting two kids, which really was no hope at all. Undyne needed to force her way through the evacuating hordes of monsters, dancing past bystanders with an agility that sorely put itself to the test. It was the best she could do without knowing exactly where her charges went. What was Undyne supposed to do, appear right next to her target?
"Heya. So what did the fishmonger say to the salmon?"
Fate would be punched in the face only once, Undyne decided.
"That I will gut you like a fish Sans." Undyne didn't even blink an eye when Sans appeared right next to her. "Report or I will stuff you into a ball and shove you into the trash."
"At this stage in our relationship? Really Undyne?" Sans winked. How he did that with his lack of eyelids was anyone's guess. "I found them, I guess."
Sans yawned mid sentence, his lack of care contrasting his words of thin hope. But it wasn't disillusionment at all. The guy fell forward, losing his balance of his own accord. Her anger at his attitude and the rest of the situation dropped into the steel ball in her stomach with the rest of her nerves. Before Sans could hit the ground, Undyne grabbed him.
Undyne offered a hand, one that Sans gripped like a lifeline when Undyne pulled him up to his feet. A moment later, he shrugged himself up. Sans took a single breath before shaking his head and letting go of Undyne's supporting arm.
"Sorry. That jump took a bit of energy from me. I was planning to take a nap afterward and all, not get coerced into human hunting."
If Undyne didn't know any better, Sans sounded almost bitter. No, bitter was the wrong word. He clearly understood the gravity of the situation, but why did he sound almost reluctant?
"They're in danger." Undyne wanted to cross her arms at Sans' minor venom, yet settled instead on an insistent tone. Sans' next question only threw her further afield.
"Why do you care anyway?"
Sans's question was simple. He shoved his hands into his coat pockets, waiting for an answer.
"Because…"
Only, Undyne really couldn't answer. Why couldn't she answer? If she was ripping through the city, sidestepping pedestrians that did not know when to move their sorry butts when a guardswoman shouted, why couldn't she answer?
Sans continued, "It's just that. You kinda hate humans. Don't you? Not like a couple of days of babysitting would change that. Things don't change down here. They never do." Sans's words hinted at some deeper meaning, but Undyne found herself focused on the question that started all her sudden torment.
Why did she care?
Asriel and Chara were nothing but nasty to her. Sure, Undyne may have deserved some of that bitterness, but she was only doing her job. Her real job of fighting humans. And now? She kept one safe just because Asgore asked her too. Was that why she fought? Because Asgore said so?
It couldn't just be that.
Sans must have noticed her lack of a response because he pulled a hand out of the bottomless pit that was his coat pocket. "You know what?" He yawned mid sentence, probably a rude thing to do but he literally fell over from exhaustion not thirty seconds ago. "I didn't sign up for this protection business. In fact, I think it was the opposite. Funny right?"
"Hilarious."
But Sans made sense. He was a lookout Undyne dragged into some confidential business. Hell, Undyne technically only ranked up to a trainee despite how capable and and guardworthy she was. What authority did she have over Sans to demand him to jump? Jump into a dangerous situation because a human of all things.
Could Undyne even bother to call herself a part of the guard? To slay humanity? How could she avenge monsterkind when she was busy babysitting the literal enemy?
She could leave them. Let whoever was in charge deal with the problem. Who cared if there was a miscommunication with the guard captains? Undyne couldn't find the brat after they snuck off with Asriel. She could help with the evacuations and leave this whole mess of morals behind her.
She could leave the kid behind...
Asgore's smile came to mind. The day he confessed his sins to his children, yet all he suffered was the indignity of being hugged by two kids. Bawling brats that couldn't do anything but cling to their father. A scene filled with tenderness that she could mistake for any monster. But Chara wasn't a monster...
(Who cares?)
And Asriel. Someone nothing like the stories told. Someone who taunted and cried crocodile tears. Someone who filled Undyne with a sense of dread and foreboding like nothing else...
(So what he cries? He's a kid. Get your butt into gear punk!)
But why does the Royal guard fight if not to-
(Who cares about the royal guard! Why do you fight?)
Why did Undyne fight?
Undyne was ten. An impetuous brat. A scallywag beyond compare. The school teachers dreaded her, she was proud to admit. Forget sums and maths. The monsters couldn't even catch her whenever she ran across puddles, foregoing umbrellas to better feel the water on her back. To feel the pounding in her heart that made her feel alive. Because all her running, all her scrabbling, all her terror-inducing ways meant one things. Undyne was free.
Yet Undyne was so alone.
"Howdy there little one. How did you get in here? Are you lost?"
Lost? Never! Not with another challenge in her way. So what if it was the biggest one under the mountain? Undyne couldn't be held back by silly things like sovereignty. So she said the only thing she ever did, to cling to who she never was.
"Fight me!"
Asgore, king of monsters, was never one to be categorized. He wasn't like the gangs of children that banded together away from the scolding eyes of teachers, the ones that tried to break her spirit with pointed words or deeds. He wasn't like the knights that roamed Waterfall, perfectly willing to scold a child for defending herself yet never willing to step in when Undyne really out of her depths. He wasn't even like Gerson, that old war hero with the most interesting stories but far past the age to go watching every orphan in Waterfall, bless that old, tired turtle.
No, the king just stood there, beaming at a snarling, practically feral child. A beast that swung wildly, hoping to land a hit at the strongest in the land. Stood there, with the kindest grin in his eyes while Undyne tried to beat him.
Oh and Undyne tried. She threw half formed bullets that no one taught her to shape. She fought with the experience of one who squabble for a living. One who fought out of sight of the scolding eyes of those who never intervened. She snarled, a beast practically void of being called a person. An it. Feral, cruel, vicious.
Not a person at all. Only a thing.
Asgore never let IT hit him. Dodging out of the way of every time, yet never letting that smile falter. Even when the ravenous brat tried to harm everything, Asgore simply shouted words of encouragement. Never once dropping that irksome smile. And when all things were said and done, when the raging demon could swing no more? Well, he put a hand on IT's back, and asked if she wanted some tea.
(Do you remember why you fight kid)?
From behind Undyne, a voice called out to her. She turned to a mirror image of her own self, but only just similar enough to be called a reflection. For one, the monster in front of her was older. Standing tall in casual clothes of the sort that Undyne could never afford to own, but maybe when she was older, might choose to pick up.
And another difference that stood stark in Undyne's mind was the eye. The one that was aching on the younger stood covered by an eyepatch that the elder wore as easily as any of her other clothes.
The older knight, for who else could she be, snorted when she noticed the younger ones gaze.
(Well kid? Your answer?)
Almost like she was held in a trance, Undyne turned back to the sight of Asgore. Now standing, holding the hand of a child left behind by everyone she knew. The two picking their way past the throne, careful to step past the younger green shoots of flowers, poking their heads out of the ground for the first time. What would later be a throne room full of yellow flowers stood only a green canvas, a beginning of an era so to speak.
And when Asgore, with a tiny hand clutched in his own, reached the exit to his throne room, he didn't leave. Instead, he turned around and smiled. Full of hope that Undyne would have mistaken for herself if his eyes didn't extend further. To a covered chair with a white blanket and the portrait that hung above it. A familiar portrait to Undyne that showed a painted scene of a family long gone. Two kids, identical in every way that mattered, holding onto the hands of a smiling king.
He stared a moment before an impatient Undyne dragged him out of his own throne room, yet never by any means that would force the King to move. When the king moved on, he did it of his free will.
(I won't lie to you. It will be tough when no one remembers what should never be forgotten. But if anything else, do you know why you fight?)
Undyne faced back to the older version of herself, but the specter of fate was gone. That mirror image before her, standing in the young golden flowers, could be called a perfect reflection now. An image of Undyne, where she was in her life right before her sudden collapse. Undyne reached out with one hand, and the image copied her movements.
"I'm confused." Undyne admitted. The image before her made no move to elaborate, only staring back with two eyes that shone in the light. "But I think I get it now."
Because she did. Maybe Undyne couldn't put it to words now or even ever, but the feeling inside her defied classification anyhow. How could one describe such a sensation as hope? Hope in fear. Hope in pain. Hope for a better tomorrow. Not a refusal of the evils of the world but rather a reinforcement that good people lived. A hope that no other children would be left abandoned.
And the Undyne in the mirror smiled and let the real one wake up.
In which Undyne doesn't realize that vivid hallucinations of backstories isn't a normal thing. And why wouldn't it be normal? It happens in anime all the time, and anime is real!