In sickness and in death - chapter 10 EPILOGUE

Jack took a deep breath before pressing the doorbell, unaware of the fact that Daniel had done exactly the same ten days earlier.

It was a nice day in May, sunny, with little white clouds drifting by calmly. No hard winds, no icy cold - even though Jack couldn't remember much of his "treatment" he was still, on some kind of vague subconscious level, aware of heavy pulling and tugging, and cold, bitter, bitter cold. The gravity on PXJ-117-115 caused that first sensation and the wind and the temperature for the second one, Daniel had explained. Jack had been cold for days. It was as if his internal thermostat was busted. He was a man for showers rather than a hot tub, but he had been sitting in baths a lot the past days, trying to get warm.

But by now he was almost himself again. His body still carried numerous scorch marks and tiny cuts from both the saphphrite as well as the wind, but, apart from the occasional chill, he felt fine.

The door opened.

'Hello Mi-Mo,' Jack said uncomfortably.

'Mi-Mo? No one's called me that for years,' Mikki said, unwillingly. She did not attempt to make it any easier. Then, a bit less terse: 'You look better than the last time I saw you.'

'So do you,' Jack said slowly, taking in the dark hair, the green eyes and the lightly freckled cheeks of the woman facing him. She wasn't pretty according to conventional standards, but he remembered from a long time ago that she had a great sense of humour and a laugh that was catching. That made her special, made people look twice when she talked and laughed. 'You've taken good care of yourself.'

'What else is a girl to do if she hasn't got a husband to do it for her?' Mikki straightened her back. Apparently, it was still very difficult for her to even look Jack properly in the eyes. 'What do you want, O'Neill?'

Standing in the porch wasn't the right place to say what Jack had on his mind, but he didn't want to invade her privacy either, so he asked: 'How about a walk? I'd like to talk to you.'

Mikki agreed, though reluctantly, and for a while they strolled through the park opposite Mikki's house. An uneasy silence hovered between them.

'I'm not very good at this.' Jack made the first move. 'But I know you saved my life. Thanks. It can't have been easy.'

'No. It wasn't.'

'Mi-Mo... Mikki - David's death wasn't in vain. But it wasn't my fault.'

'That's not what I heard. You were his superior.'

'You don't know what happened,' Jack said.

Mikki stopped for a second. 'No,' she said firmly. 'I don't. Cos the military keeps it all to itself. The official explanation said Dave was killed in the line of duty. Some duty.'

'He was very brave.'

"Brave? Bravery is for idiots who think they can change the world single-handedly!'

Jack cast his dark brown eyes on the face of the woman next to him. Her body language radiated from her like a fire. Mikki hated his guts. 'He did change a world, Mikki. Not ours, but a world far away.'

'Bull shit.'

'No, it's not!'

'Yes it is!' she spat.

Jack felt a temper rising. 'For crying out loud, stop being so defensive! You don't know what happened.'

'Then tell me!' she cried out. 'I heard through the grapevine that you send him off to place charges somewhere, and that he knew he couldn't come back. It was a forlorn hope from the start.'

Jack sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead. 'Look Mikki. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but Davids actions, placing a bomb and setting the charges, prevented a certain defeat and the loss of many, many lives. A planet would be enslaved by the Goa'ould for centuries. He made sure that won't happen. Ever. David died a hero.'

'Hero? Hero my ass! Heroism is cool in books and films, but in reality it leaves a hole in the lives of people who stay behind!' shrieked Mikki. 'And you just send him off. You never mentioned to tell him that he had a wife before he decided to play the John McClane of the universe?'

'I didn't send him off.' Jack was surprised to see her bitterness. 'He wanted it himself. He wanted it to be over.'

'He wanted it to be over.' Mikki repeated his words flatly. 'The battle, you mean.'

'No. Not the battle. His illness. He wanted to go out with a meaning, and not spend the last months of his life being sick from chemo and drugs. If I had to make that choice, I'd probably do the same.'

'What the hell are you talking about, O'Neill?' Mikki spat. She stopped in the middle of the walking path, sun shining in her hair, her cheeks red with emotions, demanding an answer.

Jack saw it, in that particular moment. It was as if someone had turned on a spotlight in a pitch dark room. Suddenly he understood why she was so angry - she didn't know. She had never known.

'Mikki... you didn't know?' He said slowly.

'Didn't know what?!'

'That David's cancer was terminal.'

Mikki's eyes grew wider. 'David's cancer was... What kind of crap is that? David didn't have cancer!'

Damn, Jack thought. She didn't even know THAT detail. 'Yes,' he said quietly. 'He had.'

Disbelieving, Mikki very slowly shook her head. 'Oh no. Oh no. That's a lie, O'Neill. That's a lie! David didn't have cancer! He would have told me! It's something you lot come up with to justify it for yourself and...'

'Mikki!' Jack put his hands around her upper arms. 'Listen to me. It's not a lie. He came to me and told me, and the doctor confirmed it. A brain tumour. I thought you knew.'

'No, no, no,' whispered Mikki, and brought a hand to her mouth. 'No, that can't be true. He would have told me. He told me everything.' She didn't look at Jack, but stared right through him. Shock was written all over her face.

'I'm not lying to you, Mikki. I know he loved you very much. I think he wanted to spare you the pain of seeing him get worse and worse and then die.'

'But I would have...' Her voice faltered.

'You would have taken care of him, I know. Right until the end. And he knew that too. There was nothing anyone could do about it, and he did what he thought was right. Make a difference.'

'This can't be... no.'

'Yes,' Jack said softly.

'In sickness and in health...' muttered Mikki. 'Not in sickness, just in death, in my case.'

'Don't be so hard on him. He spared you.'

'He... I... You... I...' She closed her eyes, tears running down both cheeks. Tiny, silver trails full of emotions, coming from deep within.

'Come on,' he said softly and the two walked further, Jack guiding her now by softly holding on to her elbow. They stopped in front of a sunlit bench and sat down. 'I can't believe it, it's too much.' She swallowed and ran the back of her hand over her cheeks to wipe the tears away. 'He complained about headaches, sometimes. But who doesn't? We both thought he worked too hard. Why didn't I see it? Why didn't he tell me?'

'People deal with such things in their own way,' Jack shrugged.

'I don't know what to think,' Mikki said with a thick voice, after a silence. 'I'm not sure if I should be angry with him or be proud.'

'I can't tell you how to feel. If it's any consolation, I was honoured that he served under my command. It was very brave what he did, even if he knew he was going to die anyway.' From his pocket Jack took out a tiny object, wrapped in a sheet of tissue. He unfolded it. 'I've been meaning to give you this for a long time. I've tried to contact you after David's death, but you were gone.'

He took her hand and in her outstretched palm he put a simple golden ring. 'I've kept it for you, all those years. He asked me to give it to you.'

Mikki was speechless. She blinked as she studied the wedding ring. Mi-Da-Mo forever, the inscription said.

'Thank you,' she managed to say after a long, long time.

'And you. Thank you.' Jack knew that this was the start of a new era. The tension between them resolved quickly.

'Funny, isn't it? If I hadn't gone to SGC for you, I would never have known all this.'

Jack grinned. 'I guess you owe Daniel. We both do.'

'Yeah, we do. You've got some good friends, Jack O'Neill. That Sam, she was willing to walk to hell and back for you. And the big silent guy... quite a character. And Daniel... Daniel came to plea for your case, knowing I'd kick him out the moment he'd drop your name.'

'I must admit that kinda surprised me. Why did you come?'

Mikki shrugged. 'No good deed is completely unselfish, O'Neill.'

'Sorry?'

'You heard about the similar case? Kenneth Matthews? I knew I was right when I did the research back then. Everyone declared me an idiot. I was the mock of the decade: living sand and a bacterium I had named after a plant that grew outside my window. But I knew I was right. I didn't plan on coming, until Daniel mentioned the yellow wrapper you were turning into. If I was ever to prove myself, this was the moment.'

'Ah. I see you what you mean. And I thought you liked me after all.' Jack grinned at her confession but also felt a pang of disappointment. 'You never considered letting me to rot out there?'

She shook her head. 'No. Not really. It could have happened to anyone, I guess. It could have happened to Daniel. The way Ken Michaels suffered... I couldn't let that happen again. Not if I could help it. No matter who would be the victim. Too many lives get lost because of stubbornness and decisions made for the wrong reasons.'

Jack put his hand on her shoulder. 'Is there some kind of secret code that you only scientists know of? You sound like Daniel Jackson.'

That provoked a smile. 'You're not bad, O'Neill. Dave liked you. But I needed to vent my anger one way or the other. You were... conveniently there.'

'I won't be going anywhere soon. I'm still on sick leave.'

'That's not what I mean,' said Mikki but she smiled.

Jack grinned too. 'You wanna grab a beer? I seem to recall Heineken was your favourite.'

'Still is. Beer sounds fine.'

'I'll buy. Come on, let's go.'

THE END

Alas, it's over. This is where it ends, I hope you enjoyed the story. Thank you for reading, and thanks for reviewing too! I'm not a native English speaker, nor have I ever lived in an English speaking country, so if you spot weird sentences, cut me some slack, please ...

Elszy