Rey didn't feel quite like herself. Ever since the Island, she had been silent.
The Caretaker hadn't been Rey's first kill, and she knew it wouldn't be her last. Jakku was a lawless planet, and she had killed to survive for years. Then, there were the guards she and Ben had dueled. She hadn't felt any guilt when she killed them— it was either them or her and Ben.
But the look of horror on the Caretaker's face as Rey raised her lightsaber was impossible to forget.
Rey hadn't been able to sleep the night after.
Ben, at least, had kept her company. She had suspected that Ben didn't sleep too much, but he had confirmed it by staying up late into the night with her.
He was troubled. Rey felt it before he even told her. He wasn't able to kill Luke, and it seemed to trouble him on a deeper level then just 'Supreme Leader Ren couldn't find the last Jedi'. She felt his conflict on the Comet as they returned to Cantonica. The conflict within him had grown from a division into a canyon.
Stirring the conflict had been part Rey's plan. It had been in step two of her three part plan: 'convincing Ben of the Light he already carried'. She just wished that Ben didn't look so pained the next day as he stared at the wall and asked her what they do next.
"I don't know," Rey admitted. While she had a simple plan to save Ben Solo, she didn't have a plan to stop the First Order or at least stall.
They were sitting on the couch in their suite. Their breakfast sat untouched in front of them. At some point, Ben had given Rey his long coat to cover her legs like a blanket, as they had left the window open to let a cool morning breeze roll in.
"You know that because our first mission was a failure, Hux is expecting us to be failures in our rule," Ben said flatly. Rey was stunned by his frankness.
"I don't care what he thinks," Rey said, and Ben gave a slight nod.
"Neither do I."
"I could've guessed that," Rey said, but Ben's face didn't change. She'd meant it to be a joke, hoping Ben would give her a slight smile.
Rey was too tired to unpack why she wanted to watch him smile. It would just be a mess if she tried.
"Where could he have gone?" Ben asked.
"There's an entire galaxy that he knows better than us. He could be anywhere," Rey said, and she had to keep all hope out of her voice. Ben frowned deeper, and Rey sighed, adjusting her position on the couch to lie down with her legs over Ben's lap.
It was bold.
She felt him tense as she got comfortable.
Rey closed her eyes, and in spite of the fact she was running on no sleep, she didn't begin to drift off. She saw the Caretaker again.
"You're hurting," Ben said.
"So are you," Rey said.
"Maybe Hux is right about us," Ben said. Rey hummed a response, and Ben rested his hands on her shins. She felt the hesitation in his touch and Rey wondered if maybe this was part of her plan.
Maybe she was just tired.
"Hux is a cruel bastard," Rey said, not opening her eyes.
The Caretaker. Eyes wide. Hands moving up to block the Lightsaber.
"Rey." It still shocked her how softly he could say her name. She didn't reply. The other Caretakers were screaming. They had trusted her.
"We don't have to have a plan now, but we need one," Ben said.
"I know," Rey said. "I know."
She felt Ben rub a circle onto her shin with his thumb. Rey finally started to feel tired.
"I won't tell Hux if you get some rest," Ben said, a little awkward. Rey felt that he was trying.
Trying to be nice. Trying to soothe her. Trying to help her work through the pain.
It was odd, Rey thought as she drifted off. Wasn't that supposed to be her job?
When she awoke, the sun was high in the sky but there were dark clouds rolling in. Rey sat up and Ben's coat slipped down from her shoulders. She looked around the room and found Bed sitting on a nearby chair with his feet kicked up on a table and a holo in his lap.
"I'm thirsty," Rey said drowsily, and as she stretched, Ben went and quietly brought her back a pitcher of water and a glass. "Oh. Thank you."
Ben grunted in response as he returned to his seat and picked up the holo again. Rey poured herself glass of water and tried to smooth down her hair after she drank it all.
"Ava Guyai would like to meet with us sometime soon," Ben said.
"Does 'soon' really mean 'today'?" Rey said, and she could've sworn Ben smiled a little.
"She knows she can't rush Supreme Leaders, so this is her diplomatic way," Ben said. Rey stood up and shrugged on Ben's coat, which was far too large on her. She rolled up the cuffs and figured it must look nice. Everything she'd owned on Jakku had once belonged to someone else, and she always had a way of making anything functional and fitting.
"We should meet her today. No point in making her wait," Rey said. Ben gave her a look that she wasn't able to decipher even as she built a list of Ben's expressions and their meanings.
"What?"
"Are you okay?"
This took her back. No wonder she didn't know that expression, it was one that meant Ben was concerned.
"I can meet with her."
"That wasn't what I asked."
Rey stared at Ben in silence.
"I can feel what you feel," he reminded her. Rey was silent for a second.
"And what am I feeling?"
Ben tossed the holo onto the couch and leaned forward onto his knees.
"Pain," Ben said. "Lots of pain."
"The Caretaker wasn't my first kill—"
"This is deeper than what happened yesterday," Ben cut her off. "Yes, that's the issue at the forefront and the reason you couldn't sleep, but after it comes something else entirely."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Rey lied. Ben's face didn't change, but he did tilt his head every so slightly.
Rey knew he wasn't in her mind and looking for information. She still remembered that feeling— overwhelming pressure, like her head might've split in half from having two people in it. But this was different. Ben wasn't in her mind, but Rey still felt like he was trying to figure her out.
"If you ever feel the need to share," Ben said, shrugging slightly. He stood and briefly retreated to his room for a cloak and boots.
Rey knew she'd never be able to share.
The betrayal would break them both.
Ava requested that Rey and Ben meet her in her office, so Ben instead suggested they meet at the mansion. With a little grin and eye roll, Rey called him a brat, and that had made Ben finally give her a proper smile.
The two of them told Ava to be at the mansion in a half hour, and they found themselves navigating to the meeting room just as they heard her transport landing outside.
"I don't like her," Rey said.
"Of course you don't. She's part of the arms trade. She'd murder us herself for a few extra credits if she'd get away with it," Ben said, looking straight ahead.
"The implication she made, though," Rey said.
"Which one?"
"That it was us," Rey said.
"She thinks that?" Ben asked, surprised. Rey couldn't help but stop in her tracks. Ben walked a few more steps before turning to look at her.
"How did you not catch that?" Rey asked.
"It must've been subtle."
"It wasn't. She said, 'what good fortune that he had an apprentice ready to take over'. She thinks that we had a part in this," Rey said, reminding herself to keep her voice down. Even if she was playing her part well and sounding like she was offended at the thought, she didn't want the idea to be planted in anyone's head.
She wanted to destabilize the First Order, not get herself and Ben killed.
"I was must more focused on her… other implication," Ben said, a note of awkwardness in his voice. He was suddenly incredibly interested in the wall decor.
"What other implication?"
"The one… about you… and me."
"What?"
Rey noticed the faintest blush keeping up Ben's neck, and she thought back to the conversation they'd had with Ava. About Ben being ready to rise to power and how he had an 'equal'….
"Oh."
Ben didn't say anything, just continued focusing on the wall.
Rey was at a loss and suddenly became conscious of the fact she was still wearing Ben's jacket. She'd been putting off unpacking her own feelings over the past several days because this was not the time nor the place to do so, but it seemed that it hadn't stopped the rest of the world from doing it.
It gave Rey a terrible idea. It wouldn't involve her and Ben in any way. But it could hurt whatever was growing between them.
She didn't like that the thought of that made her hesitate.
In the time it was taking her to figure out what to say next, Ben had fixed his gaze back on her. Rey felt something shoot through her and she pushed it to the side.
"Let her talk, then," Rey said, and she kept walking. It took a moment for her to hear Ben begin to follow her, and Rey would be lying if she sad that her heart wasn't beating a little faster now.
They walked silently to the meeting room, where Ava Guyai was waiting along with Hux and a few other First Order officers. They stood and bowed low as Rey and Ben entered. Rey noticed Ava and Hux both look at Ben's coat that Rey wore so comfortably.
"Guyai, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Rey asked, not bothering to pick a random formality. She couldn't make herself to pretend to like this woman.
"Supreme Leaders, I'm simply here to ask for some crucial instructions regarding something that just came up on the Supremacy," Ava said.
"Okay," Ben said, not moving to take a seat. Rey watched Ava like she was a deadly animal poised to strike. Ava looked at Rey with an unreadable expression, and felt judgement and smugness radiating off of her. The First Order officers, much to their credit, didn't show any outward emotion. Perhaps they'd learned it was safer when dealing with Kylo Ren to just be stoic. Hux, on the other hand, still looked as annoyed as the last time Rey had seen him. She wondered if he had any expression that didn't look vaguely constipated.
"Well, pardon my bluntness, what would you like me to do with the former Supreme Leader's body?"
Rey and Ben didn't say anything for a moment.
"What?" Rey asked.
"The body. It's still in the throne room," Ava said, slowly.
Ben looked at Rey out of the corner of his eye, and Rey quickly tried to remember the events of the past few days.
At no point did Rey or Ben give orders to have Snoke's body removed. They'd forgotten. Accidentally, of course. But Rey saw the look in Ava's eyes that doubted that very much. A few officers murmured to each other, and Hux looked positively enraged.
Perfect.
"Oh," Rey said, feigning embarrassment. She looked to Ben, who looked like he didn't care one bit. Which, of course, he didn't. But Rey wished he at least could follow her lead and make them look incompetent instead of guilty.
"We must've forgotten him in the chaos after the Supremacy's impact," Rey said, remembering her old Jakku act of an embarrassed and clueless girl. It was a quick trick to make other scavengers think she was useless and give her some of their parts out of pity.
She knew the First Order wouldn't pity her, but that was fine. She just needed them to think she and Ben weren't fit for their positions.
"Burn him," Ben said, coldly.
"Supreme Leader, perhaps a public funeral would be better," Hux said, barely keeping the anger out of his voice.
"He spent his reign hidden and secretive. Why would we break that now that he's dead?" Ben said. Rey knew that there was no love between Ben and his former master, but even she had to admit that she was a bit shocked at how openly and brazenly he was disregarding Snoke, especially when she considered the discussion she and Ben had about how Ava already suspected their involvement in Snoke's demise.
"A funeral and military parade with you two could be a display of power," Hux said, almost spitting when he said 'you two'.
"Armitage, do you not remember why the former Supreme Leader was so hidden?" Ben said, his voice a deadly calm. It sounded far more lethal than his blade, and a part of Rey's mind thoroughly enjoyed hearing it.
"No, Supreme Leader."
"It was to ensure that no one would be able to find an opportunity to assassinate him. Are you advocating for myself and the Supreme Leader to put ourselves in a dangerous position?" Ben said, a clear threat ringing through the room.
"Of course not," Hux said, and Rey knew that there was nothing he would love more.
"Good. Then burn the body. Make it discreet."
A strange tension filled the Force. It felt like everyone in the room was collectively holding back from voicing their outrage and distrust. Rey was pleased at how this had played out, and decided that it was time for her and Ben to excuse themselves. They were halfway out the door when Ava called out to them.
"Before you go, Supreme Leaders, I want to invite you to look through the Supremacy yourselves," Ava said. Ben didn't bother to look back.
"I'd like that," Rey said, both out a genuine fascination for the mechanics of such a large ship, but also for an idea she was forming at the opportunity.
"Fantastic. When will you be visiting us?" Ava said.
"Whenever we like," Rey shrugged, and she and Ben left the room. They were silent until they were in the elevator.
"And you called me a brat," Ben said. Rey looked up at Ben, and despite the fact that she was slowly but surely planning their demise, she grinned.
"Is Hux's first name really 'Armitage'?" Rey asked, and Ben let out a huff of air that might've been laughter.
"It's truly unfortunate, isn't it?" Ben said, smirking down at Rey.
"His mother should've taken a page from Leia's book and named him something nice, like 'Ben'," Rey said, and she scanned Ben's face for a reaction.
Leia was the ultimate way to gauge where Ben was in his path back to the Light. After all, he hadn't taken the shot to end her when he so easily could have.
Much to Rey's relief and surprise, Ben's eyes looked soft at the mention of his mother.
"I'll thank the stars that Leia didn't name me something stupid."
Rey took that as progress.