Warnings:
Rated M
With her hair in soft curls falling down her back, held back by a red and white checked bow knot headband, Bella sat stiffly on the sectional as she waited impatiently for the Cullens to show up. Her white polo t-shirt and brand new dark denim jeans completed her look.
Jasper told her that she was trying too hard.
Her eyes had lightened to a bronze-gold color in the couple of months they'd been holed up in Montana and she was pleased with the color. It wasn't as hard as she thought it would be to adhere and stick to the animal diet, though she figured it would be more difficult if she were migrating closer to towns...Which she had not done. She was nervous about testing her control -Jasper wanted her to start that next month- because she was adamant that she wasn't going to take a human life. If she never saw another human being again, so be it.
Jasper told her she was being silly.
As he walked into the living room from the shower, dressed easily in a pair of faded jeans and a v-neck dark blue tee, he chuckled at her posture.
"They will be here soon, darlin'. You should try to relax." He said as he plopped down next to her, making her cushion -and thus her- bounce a little.
Rolling her eyes at her mate, she said, "I can't relax, Jasper. You say they're okay with me and they want to see me but how do you know for sure? You're not there to test their emotions, you can't tell if they're lying to you over the phone."
"Have you ever known Carlisle to outright lie to anyone?" He asked her.
Turning a little to look at him, her shoulders still tense, she countered him. "I haven't known him as long as you."
He tilted his head with an acquiescing nod. "Fair enough. I haven't known him to tell a lie. Carlisle has never purposely deceived any of us for any reason. He assured me -and you I might add- over and over that they are excited to see you."
Muttering, Bella picked at invisible lint on her jeans. "Except Rosalie."
Cupping her face to bring her eyes to his, Jasper smiled fondly. "She hates the fact that you're a vampire…" He stopped at her scoff and fixed her with a stern glare. "But she knows that you didn't choose this. She knows that this isn't your fault."
Huffing, Bella kept her mouth shut and concentrated on watching a mosquito fly around the other side of the room. The tiny buzzing noise was driving her insane but she didn't want to move to squish it. Her nerves were shot and her muscles felt like they could freeze up from how stiffly she was sitting. If she moved, Jasper might think she's relaxing and welcoming when in fact she wants to be prepared for the rejection of her vampire family. Regardless of what he's told her, what Carlisle himself has told her, she wasn't completely convinced the family felt the same way. What if Esme didn't think of her as a daughter? How could she if she abandoned Bella so easily? And Emmett? Maybe he was pissed off because she didn't get on that plane with Alice to at least try to save Edward. Even knowing that they would have been too late, she could have at least tried but she'd let Jacob take up too much of her time and Alice's visions had been wonky. Perhaps the Cullens just couldn't forgive something of this magnitude. She wouldn't blame them if they couldn't.
Jasper told her she needed to relax.
Leaning closer to her, he grazed his nose along the shell of her ear. "You want me to give you a massage before they get here?" He asked, his voice a low, vibrating bass.
A shiver of lust swept down her spine as she remembered their first time over two months ago and her eyes slipping closed. As much as she would absolutely love to take him up on his offer, she had to regretfully decline. The family had said they would be there around 3 and it was almost 2:30 now. She shook herself out of her lustful memories and was rewarded with Jasper's dark chocolate chuckle. Brushing a curled strand of hair from her front to her back, he let his fingers graze lovingly over her and she shivered again before glaring at him.
"Don't play dirty." She chided him.
"Oh I plan to get you very dirty." He whispered darkly, a seductive grin playing on his lips.
She bumped his shoulder with hers and giggled. "Stop it. They'll be here soon."
Jasper stood and held his hand out for Bella to take. "Sooner than you think. I can feel their emotions now so I know they're getting to the crossroads at the bottom of the mountain. You'll be able to hear them in a few seconds."
Timidly, she linked her fingers with his and let him pull her up. Sucking in a calming breath, she shook herself a little, loosening the muscles of her shoulders so they didn't sit so high on her neck from all the tension. It was unbelievable to her that as a vampire she could get so damn tense. Maybe it was just her imagination or her human memories of being stressed out but she was sure of one thing, she is a strange vampire. Moments later, she heard the telltale signs of a vehicle speeding up the side of the mountain. She was awed to know the sound of Emmett's Jeep clearly and it made her face break out into an award winning smile as she bounced on the balls of her feet. Even though she was so nervous to be near them again, she couldn't lie to herself and say she hadn't missed them.
"Easy there, darlin'. You're reminding me of someone right now." Jasper said almost shyly with a sheepish smile on his face.
Bella's smile widened as her eyes lit up. Harboring no jealousy for the relationship Jasper had had with Alice, she let her inner pixie out and squealed a little, causing her mate to chuckle happily and hug her.
"I can't help it!" She said in a high pitched, excited voice. The tremor belied her tension but she kept shoving it aside. She would definitely see for herself whether or not the Cullens truly blamed her for Edward and consequently, Alice's deaths. She pushed her nose into Jasper's shoulder and inhaled a deep breath of his lemongrass laced scent. Humming, she let it calm her and when she dropped back down from the balls of her feet, she felt more grounded. Smiling up at his beautiful ocher eyes, she kissed his chin. "I'm not feeling so nervous anymore." She admitted.
Jasper's face was lit up with her enthusiasm and he laughed lightly. "I'm glad. There's no need."
The large Jeep stopped a mere two feet from the porch, throwing up dust and gravel as it came to an abrupt halt and before the air cleared, Bella was being hauled up onto slim shoulders. She squealed in both surprise and delight because though she anticipated Emmett being the one to tackle her, she had been wrong. It didn't take away from her happy thrill though, to see Carlisle's golden blonde, perfectly coiffed hair glinting in the sun and she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. His black button down was rolled up to his elbows and tucked into his dark gray slacks. Even off duty, Dr. Cullen dressed dapper.
"Oh, my sweet girl. I've missed you so much." His voice was taut with emotion and Bella hugged him tighter before slipping down the front of him, never letting go of her hold.
"I missed you too!" She whispered fervidly.
Jasper was embraced by Esme, who smoothed his hair back and smiled at him in the way only a mother could, her eyes filled with venom tears. "My boy." She murmured.
"Missed you, Esme." He said quietly as he kissed her temple.
Rosalie, dressed to impress in skin tight jeans and a cream cashmere sweater, barrelled out of the Jeep and jumped onto Jasper, pulling an unwarranted growl from Bella's mouth. She ducked her head shyly as the Cullens laughed.
"Sorry. That was an accident." Her muttered words gained more laughter and she was surprised to be wrenched out of Carlisle's arms and hauled into Rosalie's slim grip. "Oomph!" Bella awkwardly patted Rosalie on the back even as the blonde hugged her tightly, humming a high pitched noise happily. She saw Emmett hovering ambiguously by the Jeep but before she could question it, a buzzing noise -not unlike the mosquito in the house- was screeching in her ear.
"I'm so glad you're okay! I'm so glad that bitch didn't kill you. I can't believe you're mated to Jasper! Who the fuck would'a thunk it!?" She raced the words from her lips so fast that even Bella's head almost spun and she choked on a laugh as Emmett and Jasper both said 'Alice' at the same time. It was true. Alice would'a thunked it for sure.
At the pixie's name, Bella became more subdued and shyly left Rosalie's embrace with a quiet, "Thank you, I missed you too." She felt inept next to the statuesque goddess and was confused at the vampire's change in demeanor towards her.
Touching Bella's shoulder carefully, as if the newborn would snap at her, Rosalie looked at her sympathetically. "It's okay to laugh and smile. It's okay to think about Alice and be happy. Just because she's gone doesn't mean you don't get…"
"To live." Bella nodded once as she straightened up and said the last two words the same time Rosalie did. When pale, trimmed eyebrows went up, Bella elaborated. "Jasper said that same thing to me a few months ago. And you're right. It's no honor at all to her or Edward if we stay sad all the time."
Esme took the chance to sweep Bella up, causing the brunette to squeal again in delight. "Esme!" She laughed. The flowery sundress she wore fluttered and twirled as Esme spun Bella around.
"Oh Bella, Bella, Bella!" Tearless sobs wracked Esme's small frame and Bella bit her lip to contain her own emotions as she hugged Esme as tightly as she was being embraced. Esme's hands fluttered over mahogany hair and down over slim shoulders as she whispered 'beautiful' to herself over and over. Mother hugged honorary daughter for many minutes before she was able to let go without feeling as if her newest family member was going to vanish into thin air. "I love you, Bella. I missed you so much. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry." She started before Bella hugged her again.
"It sucked so much to lose you guys that way but you're here now. I just hope…" She trailed off and lowered her eyes as pain weaved its way through her as she thought of what their opinions were of her now. Rosalie didn't seem to harbor any blame but what did Esme, Carlisle, or even Emmett think?
Large, sneakered feet walked up to her and Bella raised her head to meet Emmett's stern eyes. His wavy brown hair was in disarray as if he'd been running his fingers through it and it reminded her of Edward. His light blue polo shirt, very much like her white one, was tucked nicely into belted denims and clung to his muscular frame. She flinched, sure he was about to ream her a new asshole for letting his brother and sister die.
"You've got some explaining to do." His deep voice boomed through the yard and echoed off the large trees on the mountain.
Clenching her eyes shut, she winced at the barely contained ire in his voice and then jumped when Jasper came up beside her, placing a calming hand on her arm. Timidly looking up to her mate, she saw the sparkle in his eyes and felt a slight wave of amusement from him. Realization dawned in her head and her eyes darted to Emmett who was sporting a large, tooth displaying grin. Before she could react, he had her in his arms tossing her into the air like she was a pint sized toddler.
She squealed like one.
Giggling hysterically, Bella clung to him on her third descent to earth, wrapping her arms around his neck. Rosalie looked on warmly as her husband and mate greeted Bella with childlike enthusiasm as the rest of the Cullens chuckled and Jasper grinned widely. He knew they would accept her, wouldn't blame her for Edward's death. He had tried to tell her but she was a stubborn woman, moreso than she'd been when she was human. It was a quality he both admired and let frustrate him.
Getting set on her feet once again, Bella smiled up at him. "Missed you, Emmett." She said quietly but happily.
Flicking the tip of her nose, Emmett snickered when she scrunched it up. "Missed you too, Bells."
"Let's move this inside, shall we?" Carlisle suggested with a smile of his own as he wrapped his arm around the ribs of his mate.
Jasper nodded and grasped onto Bella similarly as Emmett did the same to Rosalie and they all settled into the living room. As they passed the threshold, Emmett smacked the buzzing bug, effectively killing the nuisance and the panel of oak it had landed on. Jasper rolled his eyes as he shoved his brother and Bella giggled. Esme awed and ooh'd over the decor of the house, praising her son for having such good taste. He'd let it slip his mind that his family had never been here. This had been one of the homes that he'd acquired before he had even met Alice and he'd had no need to come back here while he'd been living with them.
Tipping his head as if he were wearing a cowboy hat, Jasper smiled. "Thank you but I can't take all the credit. Miss Charlotte helped a lot."
Esme nodded as she sat down on a green plaid recliner next to a burnt orange round back chair that Carlisle had chosen. A modest brick fireplace was to their left at the back of the room, which the large blue sectional sat in front of. The flatscreen television sat cater-corner on a black entertainment stand to the right of the fireplace. The stand had a game console and some video games as well as a dvd player and some dvds. There was nothing too overly crowded about the furnishings and yet the place looked well loved and lived in. The rest of them sat on the sectional as Esme looked at the eclectic colors of the furniture. It oddly suited the oak paneled room instead of making it look tacky. Being an interior designer, she could see how the setup made company feel welcomed instead of like they had to stand still so as not to disturb the elegance, like in her own homes. As much as she liked the clean, white lines of her designs, she felt more at home here. It gave her a lot to process and she made a note to contact Charlotte Whitlock about ideas.
Bella's nerves came back full force as they all sat around silently, seemingly comfortably, because she knew what was coming next. She dreaded the talk about the demise of two of the Cullen's family members and her skin started trembling. Jasper smoothed a hand from her shoulder to her fingers and linked his with hers, squeezing gently once. Turning to face him, she welcomed the small amount of tranquility he waved at her and breathed deeply through her nose, her lips a tight line across her face.
Jasper told her, 'Ready or not, it was time.'