The days had quickly come and gone since my last doctor's appointment. I went back to the doctors' office that Monday hoping to see the same lady doctor, only to have a different doctor lecturing me, and she was real mean! I didn't stay long enough for her to actually make me feel killing myself, I wouldn't let her shut me down like that. I've vowed never to go back. I know I should, but I can do this on my own, I think. I don't need people lecturing me right now! I know I'm in the wrong, I know I'm stupid and I know I'm just a kid! I just need people off my back and room to breathe, just for a little while, and then I'll sort it all out. I promise myself I'll sort it all out.

As for Gordie, over the last few weeks I pleaded with him not to tell anyone. He was logical in saying I can't hide under my baggy clothes for long, but I needed the time to figure out what I wanted to do. No one's noticed, yet, thank God! To be honest, it was a relief having Gordie know, he's so supportive. Everyone was too busy with Christmas and then the New Year to notice me and my gaining weight, at least I hope. I guess I can always tell people that I ate too much and I'm having a food baby.

Oh, and just so you know, it didn't snow for Christmas, not this year. Nor did it for my 14th birthday last week.

Oh, by the way, Happy New Year! I can't believe it's 1961!

I couldn't find anything to fit me this morning! This is getting ridiculous. No, I don't have a very large tummy yet, well, I am showing now that I'm at 15 weeks. It sounds like a long time ago this, thing,was conceived.

Shudder.

Let's not talk about that.

I had a lousy day of avoiding Chris at school. He hasn't really spoken to me lately, which gives me the feeling he's doing all the avoiding. I dunno. All I know is that whenever I'm left with him, I can't help but get choked up. I can't even say hello without wanting to cry. What the hell's wrong with me?

'How you dooin'?' Gordie asked me as we walked home from school.

The other guys were way behind messing with something Teddy had stole from science class. I'm not even going to speculate on what part of the human anatomy sculpture he'd stolen.

'I'm okay.' I shrugged. 'I've stopped throwing up, so I'm feeling much better.'

'You have? That's great!' Gordie grinned holding my hand. 'Have you figured anything out yet? I know! I don't mean to push you, but you have to decide on something or….'

I cut Gordie off. '-I'm going to keep it.' I quickly smiled at him while I rubbed underneath my tummy. Jesus! I'm going to have to stop doing that!

Gordie's eyes were wide. 'You are? Are you sure?'

I looked back to see where the guys were. Further away enough for them not to hear us.

'I think I should tell my mom, and then maybe go live with her over the summer.' I wasn't sure but at least I had some sort of a plan.

'Would she look after it?' Gordie questioned. 'I mean, you are coming back, right?' he stared at me waiting for an answer.

'Sure! I don't want to live in Lewiston permanently, just 'till the baby's born.' I said giving Gordie a little smile to let him know I had been thinking this through. I'm not completely hopeless.

'You called it a "baby".' He chuckled watching me rub my tummy.

I was confused. 'What?'

'For weeks you've been referring to it as an "it". You just called "it" a "baby".' Gordie smiled.

'I did, didn't I?' I kinda smiled reminding myself to keep my hands away from my baby bump and tuck them into my pockets.

Thinking back on it, my calling the being inside my womb a "baby" scared me. I'm really having this thing, aren't I?

I think I should visit the library and get some books to read up on this!

'Ev?' Gordie asked after a long pause. 'Are you going to tell me who the father is?'

A steel ball just dropped from my throat to the pit of my stomach. I felt sick. I can't face telling anyone. I shook my head. 'No, Gordie.' I quickly whispered.

Gordie tried to be sensitive. 'I think he needs to know, ya know?' he said with a slight shrug as he held my cold hand.

I bit my lip. 'I know, but I don't think I can tell him.'

'Why not? So you do know who it is then?' Gordie asked letting go of my hand.

What the hell was he suggesting? That I was easy? 'Yes Gordie. I know who he is!' I shouted frowning at him.

'…And you ain't gonna tell me, are you?' he asked as if I'd tricked him.

I shook my head.

'What are you pussies talking about?' Teddy asked as he ran over jumping on my back.

'Teddy!' I yelled pushing him away. He'd scared the hell out of me!

'Be careful Teddy, you dick!' Gordie yelled.

'Whoa!' Teddy glared surrendering himself. 'What the fuck's with you two?'

Gordie shoved Teddy in the shoulder. 'You'll hurt her doing that!'

Teddy laughed his stupid laugh 'Eeee eee eee, you stupid wet, Lachance!'

I snorted at Teddy. His stupid laugh always made me smile.

Gordie shot me a look of annoyance. 'What if you'd fallen down!' Gordie yelled at me. 'It isn't funny!'

Teddy laughed as he placed his arm around my shoulders. 'She'd just get right back up!'

I shrugged, and then remembered what Gordie was referring to. I gave Gordie a little apologetic nod. Gordie looked really pissed at me, and Teddy.

'You stupid son of a bitch!' Gordie spat at Teddy. 'You could've hurt the baby!'

I looked at Gordie wide eyed. I can't believe he just yelled that out! I shot a look to Chris and Vern, they were laughing at something further back.

Gordie stood with his mouth wide open, realizing what he'd said.

Teddy stopped laughing and came to a standstill. He stared at Gordie then back at me several times before an exclamation mark appeared above his head. 'Wh…' Teddy looked at me in shock.

I quickly slapped my hand over Teddy's mouth before he could utter anything else. I shook my head at Teddy as I held him still. 'Don't, just don't!'

Teddy's eyes shot down to my stomach in amazement. He began to mumble something from under my hand. He even drooled on me.

I took my hand away and wiped it on my skirt. 'Eww!'

Gordie shook his head at Teddy. 'Sorry, Ev. I didn't think…'

Teddy stood with his mouth open half grinning. 'I fucking knew it!' He whispered.

I took a deep breath. 'It's okay Gordie.' I looked to Teddy. 'Hopefully dipshit here will keep his mouth shut?'

Teddy sniggered. 'I fuckin knew you were! ' he moved his hand towards my stomach. 'I knew you were getting a little porky!' he laughed.

I slapped Teddy's hand away before he could touch my tummy. 'Thank you Teddy, you're too sensitive, you know that?'

Gordie pulled me and Teddy to walk on a little faster as Vern and Chris were catching up.

Teddy grinned astonished. 'Who the fuckdid you fuck?'

'No one!' I yelled. 'I'm not saying!'

'This is fucking real gone!' Teddy chuckled. 'Is it Gordie's?'

'NO!' Gordie and I yelled in unison.

Teddy must have though this situation was hilarious. 'Vern's?'

I slapped Teddy on the shoulder. 'NO!'

'IT'S CHAMBERS'S ISN'T IT?' Teddy yelled grinning.

I frowned at him. 'Shut the fuck up, Teddy!'

'Jesus, it is, isn't it?' Teddy poked me. 'I knew it!'

Gordie looked to Teddy worried. 'Just, leave her alone, okay?'

'Then…who?' Teddy stopped to think. 'Coz I know it aint me, I woulda pulled out.' Teddy winked then laughed.

I glared at Teddy. 'You're so fucking disgusting, Teddy.' Just the thought of having sex with my best friend made my stomach turn.

Gordie quickly punched Teddy in the shoulder. 'Good going, asshole!'

'So? Who's the daddy?' Teddy asked jumping in front of me smirking. 'Who's the lucky guy?'

'Leave it, Teddy!' I said getting annoyed.

'Aww!' Teddy backed down. 'Pregnant women are no fun!'

Gordie grabbed Teddy by his jacket. 'Keep your fucking voice down!' he said through his teeth.

'Okay, okay!' Teddy surrendered holding up his hands.

Gordie grabbed my hand pulling me across the street, down the road from my house.

Teddy followed. 'Jeez..' he grinned 'You could at least have let me go first!'

What the hell? I turned around ready to smack Teddy right in his repulsive mouth, only for Gordie to not let go of my hand and pull me back.

Teddy snickered to himself. 'Chambers is gonna be pissed! You may as well pick out your casket now.' He laughed.

Gordie shoved Teddy into the road. 'You're such an asshole!'

Teddy scrunched up his face as if he were crying. 'Oooohooo! You're such an asshole.' Teddy mocked in a whiny voice.

Gordie grinned and laughed a little. I don't blame him, Teddy makes everyone laugh.

You know, Teddy's right about one thing, Chris is gonna be pissed, really fucking pissed!