A/N: I updated. Really fast. I also rewrote the prologue (I left parts the same, but the beginning especially is pretty different now), and made a shitload of spelling/grammar edits for chapter's one to four. Okay, now I'm going to go feel extremely proud of myself and celebrate the happiness that is summer vacation. (in actuality, I looked at the date records and realized this story is over a year old and still hasn't gotten past the Varia arc yet. Neither has she even shown the remotest hints of hooking up with Squalo yet. Facepalm is warrented).
See? Told you when I said I was going to update sooner (is very smug and is shot again).
Enjoy!
Chapter 9
When Filai turned twelve, Lussuria bought her a pet rabbit for her birthday. It ended up on Bel's dinner plate a few weeks later. Alive.
Not that she had been especially fond of bunnies, per se, but after the gruesome death of her first (and last, up to date) pet, Filai felt like a pretty bad pet owner, especially considering how she had been the one in charge of cooking dinner that day too.
Right now, approximately five years later, she felt pretty shitty too, a lot like that time, and that was just screwed up since it wasn't like Hibari was her pet rabbit, and it most certainly wasn't like Xanxus was going to eat him. Then again, it was Xanxus. You could never tell with him anymore, especially when he's grinning like the Grim Reaper chasing prey after he lost his fucking title as 10th Vongola boss.
Either he lost his mind, or he has something evil planned. Filai winced as she tried to stand up, her injured leg collapsing on her again. In any case, Kyouya should really go run for his life. NOT FUCKING CHASE AFTER XANXUS! DO ALL JAPANESE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS HAVE UNHINGED SENSES OF SELF PRESERVATION? I GET THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE TO REASSERT YOUR MASCULINITY AND ALL, because you really do look like a girl, especially at this angle, BUT STILL!
Machine guns sounded. Filai spun around, only to have her head shoved flat to the ground.
Ow, fuck. What's the big idea, you stupid son of a- Filai stopped. "Yamamoto?"
"Ahaha, that was dangerous, wasn't it?" Yamamoto Takeshi said merrily, as if they weren't stuck in a field with bullets raining and dynamites exploding like there was no tomorrow. Catching her dumb look, he added. "It looked like you need some help."
She winced as the idiot teenager pulled her to her feet, benevolently mindful of her injuries. "Are you supposed to be here?"
"Hibari already won, didn't he?" Yamamoto pointed out, gesturing to where the resident rabid tonfa wielder was attempting in vain to pummel Xanxus. "The match is over-" Another mine exploded on cue. "And maybe we should talk about this later."
And I'm agreeing with an imbecile. What has the world come to? "Sure."
"Great. Come on."
Filai glanced at Xanxus and Hibari as Yamamoto dragged her along the rigged field. Hibari was doing surprisingly well, considering who he was up against. But then again, Xanxus wasn't attacking. Because otherwise he'd be accused of treason against the main branch of the Vongola Family and sentenced to many ugly things.
...she lost. Which meant Xanxus lost. Which meant...
"You alright, Filai?" Yamamoto asked, as they stopped before a stream of bullets before continuing.
"I don't feel very good." I feel like throwing up.
Suddenly, the sound of Xanxus and Hibari fighting stopped. Yamamoto and Filai turned around. Hibari was kneeling, clutching at the side of his leg, with Xanxus looming triumphantly over him.
Did Xanxus attack him? The bastard seriously can't control his homicidal impulses, can he? Now what, he'll be accused of attacking the Cloud guardian and tried for... Wait, something was wrong. Xanxus didn't have his guns out. Did he cut Hibari with his hands? But there weren't any blood stains on his fingers, and they were standing way too far apart for Xanxus to pull off any close range attack.
"That robot thing's still alive." Yamamoto said.
"Robot? You mean Gola Mosca?" Are you blind? You saw tonfa boy take it down- Filai blinked as Gola Mosca, very much functioning, stood back upright and aimed its ammunition studded fingers with its remaining arm, right at Hibari. You have got to be shitting me. WHERE DOES XANXUS GET THIS STUFF? "Kyouya's dead at this rate."
Yamamoto hesitated, eyes widening in panic as he watched Gola Mosca about to fire again at the now virtually screwed to shit Hibari.
"Go help him."
"But you're still-"
Filai wormed her way out of Yamamoto's aiding grip, stumbling a bit but otherwise managing to keep her standing position. She sighed exasperately. "Honestly, what kind of retard goes around saving enemies instead of allies? You won't last long in the Mafia with that kind of idealistic mindset." So don't screw with me and get your fucking head straight. "Now shoo. I've got better things to do than being pulled around by you like a limp noodle."
Yamamoto actually had the nerve to laugh, albeit hesitantly. "Y'know, Filai. You're actually pretty nice, huh?"
She shot him a deadpan frown. "Of course. If-" your nonexistent brain "-you haven't realized yet, I hang out with some very unpleasant people. It's all relative, you see." And move your ass already. You're an eyesore. Quite literally. His goodwill was murdering her. Slowly, painfully, bit by bit. She'd rather be burned to a crisp by Xanxus than stand this kind of crap.
"Yeah, but still..." And the worm was STILL reluctant.
This was getting ridiculous. The brat really called for serious measures. Filai grabbed the unsuspecting teen by his shirt collar and dragged him down to her eye level (why was a fourteen year old that much taller than her? WHY?). "Hey, you know I'm really bad at fighting, right?"
"That's why I can't just leave you-"
"Everyone else in the Varia's really strong. They're always saying cool stuff when they're fighting, too. Like in those action movies, where the protagonist is like 'leave it to me. You go first.'" Except the Varia say it with a lot more colorful vocabulary and whole lot less good will, but that's not the point. "I never got to say stuff like that before. So now I'm telling you to go save your stupid friend's ass before he's killed and let me fend for myself before you and your utter stupidity gets the both of us killed."
Silence, expect for the bombs exploding and whatnot, but you get the point. Finally, Yamamoto said in awe. "Wow, you were actually kind of cool."
What do you mean "actually"? "...thanks?"
Filai didn't get an answer. "Be careful, alright?" Yamamoto called, already running over to Hibari, who was barely scrapping by with his life at the moment.
Alright, sure, she was cool for a moment. How nice, except she forgot one tiny, yet crucial detail; the tiny, crucial kind that was easy to miss, but at the same time so ridiculously important that life surely couldn't move on without it.
She never had chances to say cool stuff like "I'll be fine by myself so go save yourself." For a good reason. Because she never WAS FINE BY HERSELF.
Except by the time she realized that, Yamamoto was already gone. Filai was left stranded with an injured arm and leg, in the middle of a battlefield where every step was a one way ticket to the afterlife.
She really needed to plan these things out more often.
Then something completely miraculous happened. Sawada Tsunayoshi appeared, in a flurry of smoke and flames. Five seconds. He owned Gola Mosca in five seconds flat.
Understandably, Filai stared as Gola Mosca stopped its ministrations, and exploded. Holy...
She didn't get to finish her thoughts. Gola Mosca's malfunction also had the detrimental effect of setting off almost all the rest of the explosives surrounding it. Considering how Filai was happening to be standing roughly two feet away from one...well, the results...they weren't pretty.
::::::::::
"Is she dead?"
"Idiot Tsuna. Can't you tell she's still breathing? Did you call for an ambulance yet, Dino?"
"I had my men get one. I don't know if they'll make it in time though. Her injuries are horrible. What happened?"
"Land mine jacked her up. She's already lost a lot of blood from the injuries that Hibari gave her."
"Kyouya, I thought I asked you to take it easy on her. She's a girl, you know."
"Shut it, Herbivore."
Filai opened her eyes. "Kyouya, your nicknames just get weirder and weirder the longer I know you." Bite to death and herbivore. I don't know if you're just flat out perverted or you have some kind of eating disorder.
Her vision was blurred, but she could dimly make out many brats' faces, Dino and Reborn among them. Tsuna was there too, eyes wide with concern (damn you). Yamamoto and Gokudera were somewhere in the background, arguing heatedly. Maybe it was her imagination, but her body felt terribly pained. "W-where's Xanxus?" It might also be her imagination, but there was a very nauseating sort of coppery taste in her mouth too. Blood? Oh great, now she knew for a fact that she was nailed one way or another.
Tsuna answered apologetically. "He left, along with the rest of the Varia. Why?"
"Because he's my boss."
"...oh, right." He said nervously. "Um, Gokudera filled me in."
Five minutes ago...
"WHAT?" Tsuna all but shrieked. "FILAI'S PART OF THE VARIA? THAT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE!"
Yeah. Back to now
"You don't look very pissed."
"I'm not." He said hastily. "I'm sort of surprised and all, but I don't think you're really a bad person. It's not like you tried to hurt me before anyways." Guess he wasn't too annoyed about her spilling her piping hot coffee over him too many times to be called accidental. Not that she was going to remind him. "But that aside, you're in really bad shape. You must feel horrible right now."
She was, actually. "Because you realize that your good will's like radioactive poison for me, right?"
Pause. "Er..." Gokudera was the one pointing things out this time. "Actually, it's because you have a metal pole sticking through your ribs right now."
Another pause. Filai impatiently brushed it aside. "Well, alright, fair point. But I'm still vouching for the good will thing." Your altruism is going to be the end of me some day- "Wait, what?"
The twits exchanged nervous glances. "Filai," Dino began strainedly. "Can you not look down for a second?"
Being the obedient soul she was, Filai looked down. "Oh, I see." Silence. "WAIT, WHERE DID THIS POLE COME FROM?"
"Er, is that really the issue-"
"I DIDN'T SEE ANY STRUCTURE WITH THIS KIND OF POLE BEFORE! DID IT MAGICALLY APPEAR? DOES THAT MEAN THIS PLACE IS SOME CURSED SCHOOL WHERE RANDOM POLES COME AROUND AND NAIL UNSUSPECTING PEOPLE IN THE RIBS?" She was a little dizzy from blood loss, by the way. Just putting that out there.
To everyone's surprise, Hibari was the one who provided the answer. "It's from the underground water system." He muttered coolly, studying the bloodied up metal pole. "The explosions probably caused it to shift-" and what kind of understatement was that? "-from its original position." Hibari frowned, and added darkly. "They'd better pay for the reparations."
Filai raised an eyebrow. "So you have a school fetish." That's not much better than an eating disorder, or perversion.
Hibari glared.
Tsuna glanced at the two nervously. "Anyways, we have to stop the bleeding." He said awkwardly. "We'll have to pull the pole out first, right?"
That wonderful suggestion earned him a whack on the head from Reborn. "Can't you see the pole is the only thing keeping her from bleeding to death? Pull it out and she'll die within minutes."
"Then what do we do?"
Are you guys stupid? "Burn it." Filai supplied helpfully, and all attention was directed to her. She became defensive. "What?"
Reborn smiled. "You're a foul mouthed jerk, Filai. But you're right. Burning will do the job nicely."
Fuck you.
Tsuna had his own objections, as usual. "But burning it would hurt so badly! She's already in enough pain as it is."
"Better in pain than dead."
Though as much as she hated to admit it, Tsuna did have a point. Filai frowned, as Tsuna shakily prepared a flame with...ironing gloves? Oh good god no. He was not going to touch her with that, at least, not without her high on drugs or something. Actually...drugs? "My leg..."
"What about it?"
"There should be a pouch tied to my left leg." Filai offered blankly. Dino unstrapped it, and showed it to her. "Yeah, that one." So you can do something right after all. Lucky me. "There should be some...some injections in there. Take the one with the blue label."
"What is it?" Dino asked, holding up the small injection in the dim light.
"Painkiller." She mumbled, and added as a response to their curious expressions. "There's snake poison in there, if you want to know. That and guts and liver. A dash a parsley, maybe. And potatoes."
Yep, now they were looking a little sick. "You're joking."
Filai rolled her eyes. "Of course I am. It's just a mixture of already existing drugs." I can't believe you actually fell for it. Snake poison doesn't dull your nervous system, you fucktards. It stops it. "It's an arm injection. Apply appropriately, please."
Yeah, she hated shots with a vengeance. Just like all good (little) kids did. But she hated having to feel being burned by an ironing glove even more, so Filai wasn't too pissed off when Dino stuck the damn needle into her arm. Ow. I hate life. Oh jeez, just how many times have I said that tonight?
She liked this special brand of painkillers; they work a lot faster than morphine, AND you don't get addicted to it as a side effect.
"Feel better?"
"Much." Like when she had one of those terrible migraines (no thanks to Bel and Squalo and their eternal battles going on at 3 am in the morning) fading into blissful nothing; alright, that description sounded a little like she died, but that wasn't the point.
"Alright, burning time."
Huh? Fuck. "Wait, it doesn't work that fast-OW! FUCKING SON OF A XXXXXXING XXXXX XXXXXX!" XXXXXXXXXXX! DAMN YOU SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI! Filai flinched as the piercing hot surface of Tsuna's ironing gloves (he'd make a very convenient househusband, armed with those things) easily eroded whatever effect the painkiller had managed to build within the short time.
Tsuna pretended to ignore the swearing. His image of Filai as a normal, laid back high schooler was really falling apart. "S-sorry, Filai san. It'll be over really soon."
"Don't say that." She muttered dully, deciding that struggling was useless. "You sound like you're going to kill me out of pity or something."
"You're a real pessimist, aren't you?"
"Taking care of six killer Mafioso (most of whom were older) for half you life does that to you."
"Yes, but-"
She scowled. "I had to pick up after Bel. Imagine that."
Silence. Tsuna gulped. "Point taken."
About time. And you do realize that "You should pay more attention when burning people? I think you're going to reach my ribcage at this rate."
That knocked him to his senses. With a startled yelp, he jerked his hands back (accidentally hitting an unsuspecting Ryohei in the face; ouch). Filai raised an eyebrow. "Sorry."
Normally, I would say thanks for saving my life, but... "You kind of forgot to pull the pole out of my rib."
"OH CRAP!"
With that, the second time went more successfully; 100 percent pole free, Filai was left to gingerly observe the marred, burnt skin covering a large fraction of her stomach. For the most part, it had stopped bleeding, but some blood still leaked from the broken cracks on the surface. Not a very pleasant sight, especially since it was kind of part of her body. That's going to leave a mark or two. "Um, can I...sleep now?"
"...sure?"
"Ah, okay." Filai said faintly, and I...hate...life...without another word, collapsed.
:::::::::::::::::::::
There were many reasons why Superbia Squalo disliked being stuck to a bed, not the least of which he was stuck on a fucking bed. If nobody could tell by now, he liked having his freedom of movement; not having it made him jittery, kind of. Except the word he'd prefer to use was restless, because jittery sounded like an adjective used for an ant or something, but jittery in this case actually worked quite well too.
So for once in his life, he didn't really blame Dino for being startled at his (over) reaction upon hearing the reason for the sudden commotion going on in the hospital.
"SHE WAS KILLED BY A METAL POLE? A FUCKING METAL POLE?" He all but screamed, his lungs not at all aching at the unusually strained effort. The lights rattled. Dino immediately clapped his hands over his ears. "THAT IS THE MOST PATHETIC THING I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" Actually, the way he phrased it, it may very well be so.
"Filai's not dead. She's really badly injured though." Dino said, worriedly checking to make sure that Squalo's restraints were still intact. "The doctors said that-"
Oh, alright. She's still alive, barely. Mildly better? Yes? No. "SHE ALMOST GOT KILLED BY A METAL POLE? THAT'S STILL THE MOST PATHETIC THING I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" Squalo retaliated without missing a beat. "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET KILLED BY A METAL POLE? SHE WAS FIGHTING THAT TONFA BRAT, NOT A POLE! THE POLE'S NOT EVEN ALIVE, GOD DAMN IT! IT DOESN'T FUCKING MOVE BY ITSELF!"
Yes, Squalo was an idiot. No questions asked.
"Voi, so what did the doctors say?" He muttered grudgingly, after finally calming down long enough to let Dino fit some words in.
"Well, I don't really know the details." Dino admitted. "But Filai's lost a ton of blood. Some of her organs were punctured, and most of them are non-essential, but her right lung was damaged pretty badly. She has a hard time breathing right now. That plus some of the other minor injuries she got from the match itself...To put it frankly, well, she's still in danger."
Right now would probably be the perfect time to act like a sentimental priss, and start crying or something. Except he was Superbia Squalo, fucking vice head of the Varia, most epic swordsman alive OR dead. Not some angsty teenage girl who broke down at her tenth ever rejection or whatever. Even if he was, it wasn't like he gave half a shit whether that creepy woman bit the dust or not. So naturally, he should by all means settle for a nonchalant "Oh well" and move on with life-
"Let me see her." Alright, maybe the angsty female side of him (that didn't exist) won out this time.
Dino was startled by the demand. "That's impossible, Squalo. You're hardly in any better shape. We can't possibly-"
"VOIII! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU FUCKERS CAN OR CAN'T DO! I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO MESS YOU UP SO BAD EVEN YOUR FUCKING MOM WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU!" Squalo screeched, struggling in vain against his restraints.
"Stop moving! You're only going to get worse at this-"
Squirming enough, Squalo managed to clip Dino at the edge of his chin, and within seconds, men swarmed into the room, and Squalo found himself at the end of many guns and sharp objects. Damn Dino and his overprotective family.
Slightly dazed, Dino quickly waved them off. "It's fine. He won't do anything." He said hastily, and Squalo bristled. The stupid bucking horse made him sound like a pet dog (though perhaps he's done enough on Xanxus' thankless behalf to warrant the comparison). "Er, well. Someone get a wheelchair."
One of his men, Romario, was it? Some shit like that. He spoke up. "For Squalo?"
"Yeah."
"But he shouldn't be moved around too much."
Dino sighed, running a tired hand through his mop of hair. "Yeah, I know."
And Squalo tried his very best not to look too hopeful. He compromised with a sullen glare. "Voi, what's with the change of heart?" Then, as an afterthought. "You're still too soft." There, safe. Not too femininely relieved sounding. Or grateful. God no, anything but that, ESPECIALLY towards the bucking horse fucker.
"You think?" Dino chuckled sheepishly as his men cautiously began to undo Squalo's restraints. "Well, maybe so. But it can't be helped in this situation. Just calm down after this, alright?"
"Che, no promises."
Five minutes and many broken ear drums later...
"...voi, Bucking Horse."
"Yeah?"
"I thought you said she was alive."
"Well, she is. I mean, just because she has a broken arm, and a damaged leg, and many other non life threatening injuries, oh, and four broken ribs, and a rather worse for the wear lung, it doesn't necessarily mean she's-"
"ARE YOU BLIND? YOU CAN'T GET ANY DEADER THAN THIS!" Squalo half heartedly glared at his comatose colleague, feeling very unsettled at the sight. Guilty, almost, except, well...
Damn, at this rate he'll turn into one of those very decrepit people found in soap operas made for housewives with no livable lives; the kind where the main character wallows in self hatred over the death of one person or another, despite the completely undeniable fact that it wasn't his fucking fault.
Yeah. This is what happens when a Varia member is kill-deprived for three days. As such, you can't blame them for being homicidal maniacs.
And Squalo HATED soap operas.
CHAPTER END
A/N: I'm happy with the review speed this time! That and I'm still being happy over the Varia's showing up again (though Enma and co are officially on my hit list now), so another few reasons why I decided to get a move on with this fic. I guess a few more chapters and the Varia arc'll end (finally) and everyone can move on with life. Anyways, I'm not going to threaten anyone, but reviews motivate me to update faster! So do so, foolish mortals! (gets shot; hey, I never said I wasn't mortal)