Alright, Chapter 10 is up! But before you go on and read, I got a few things to point out. First of all, I'm changing the rating of the story to T because of swear words here and there and maybe some violence. Hmm..anyway I think it's best to change the rating. Second, sometimes the characters may act a little out of character, but it's not really much of a big deal. You can change things from the TV show, it doesn't have to be exactly alike, that's what makes it entertaining. Lastly, this chapter's mostly comedy than romance so you might pee on yourself…or you could only just laugh.. it's less of a mess…hey that rhymed! Anyway that's pretty much all I have to say for now, so here is Chapter 10!
It was Wednesday afternoon and Rudy was having a personal karate session with Milton helping him with the nun-chucks. "Come on Milton! You'll be using the nun-chucks at the tournament. If your not doing it right, you might hit yourself...you know..down there."
Milton winced at the thought of that. "I know, I'll be more careful."
Rudy checked his Spongebob Squarepants wristwatch. "Our new member of Operation Kick should be arriving any minute now."
"Great, who is it?"
"You'll see."
Rudy continued to help Milton with the nun-chucks for a couple more minutes until, a tall woman entered the dojo. She had long blonde curly hair, her clothes were made out of black leather, her eyelids were filled with black mascara, and she had on high-heeled boots. It appeared that she also had a lit cigarette in her right hand.
"Mommy!" Rudy cheered and ran up to her excitedly.
"Huh?" Milton said confused.
Rudy then started to cough. "Ugh, mom you smell like smoke." He tried waving the smell away with his hands.
Rudy's mom put her cigarette to her mouth and released a puff of smoke.
"Mom I would like if you didn't smoke in my dojo."
"I don't care what you like, Rudy. If you were a successful rich doctor then I'd probably care."
"Ouch." Rudy mumbled.
"Uh.. hi I'm Milton, and your Rudy's mom, uh..nice to meet you." He greeted awkwardly and let out his hand.
"Whatever, I'm Stephanie. Nice to meet you skinny bones." She said rudely ignoring his handshake.
Milton put on a fake smile. "Okay...Rudy can I talk to you in private please?" The two walked over to the other side of the dojo.
"What's up?"
"Seriously Rudy?" Milton whispered.
"What?"
"Your mom is going to help us set up Jack and Kim?"
"Yeah, what's the problem?" Rudy asked casually.
Milton face palmed himself. "That's the best you can do? You couldn't find anybody else to replace Eddie?"
"No. And don't worry everything is going to work out fine, my mom is a skilled matchmaker."
"Then why doesn't she get you a girlfriend?"
"That's not the point Milton. She's good at this stuff, just give her a chance."
Milton glances at Stephanie to see her letting out another puff of smoke."Hmmph." He grunted.
Aah...It was a beautiful sunny afternoon and Jack and Kim were having a picnic in Sunshine Park..with Zack. Now you maybe wondering, why the heck is Zack with them? Well you see kids, it all started like this:
Jack and Kim walked into Sunshine Park, with Kim holding a picnic basket. "Even though were just doing this to be a better fake couple, I'm glad we get to spend some time together." Kim told Jack.
"Uh, yeah me too Kim." Jack said while rubbing his hand through his hair.
"HEY, WAIT UP!"
"Huh?" The two turn around to see Zack running towards them.
"Oh no." Jack mumbled.
A bystander walking by saw Zack running. He stuck his foot out purposely, and Zack tripped over it and rolled down a hill. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...UMPH! It appeared that Zack had landed into a huge pile of dog poop. "Whoops." shrugged the bystander as he laughed and walked away.
Jack and Kim ran up to him. "Zack, are you alright?" Kim asked concernedly.
"Just fine." He answered as he lifted his head up, revealing a dog poop covered face. Jack cringed and then bursted out laughing.
Kim elbowed him in the arm. "OW! Oh come on it's funny!"
"Come on Zack, let's get you cleaned up." So after Zack got his face cleaned up, Kim offered him to join the picnic because she felt bad.
Jack's POV
"It was so nice of you to let me join the picnic, Kim." Zack said as he chewed with his mouth open on a sandwich.
"Yeah, so nice of you Kim." I say and sended her a fake smile.
"Ah, no problem." she replies wearily.
"Actually it is a problem." I wanted to say, but decided to keep my mouth shut.
So Zack began to ramble on about random topics that I found no interest in, so i just kept my distance away because he still reeked of dog poop.
-and that's why I love butterflies." Zack finished.
"Oh cool." Kim answered uninterested.
"Ah, Kim your such a good listener."
"She sure is." I shot Kim a look while she just rolled her eyes.
Unfortunately Zack began rambling on again. This sucks, Kim and I should be spending some time together...ALONE. I glanced at her with a bored expression on her face (unsurprisingly) ,as she listens to Zack talk about politics. Wow, it's such a wonderful day...
Normal POV
"HEY GET BACK HERE!" yelled a swarm of cops chasing after two middle aged criminals.
"You know I really wonder why they call this park Sunshine." Kim said.
Jack immediatly got up. "I'll try to catch them!"
"Not if I catch them first!" called Zack and began chasing after him.
Kim sighed. "Oh brother." She got up and followed their lead.
Jack and Zack were catching up to the criminals, while the cops and Kim are a little left behind. "Haha! I got you now!" Zack dived onto one of criminals backs and started ferociously hitting him.
"GET OFF OF ME!"
"HEY STOP!" Jack got a hold of the other criminal and with a reverse roundhouse kick sended the culprit toppling down. Zack was still on top of the criminal, until the criminal had enough strength to vigorously push him off . Zack landed on the ground with a huge thump."Owww." He moaned in pain, but immeadiatly got right back up on his feet. Before the criminal could get away again, he grasped onto his arm. "Not so fast." Zack front kicked him in the groin and gave him a straight punch to the face, knocking the criminal down to the ground. "UMMPH!"
The five cops and Kim finally came to the scene. Right away, the cops got a hold of the criminals and put the both of them in handcuffs. "You two are under arrest for vandalizing park property."
"We were just trying to decorate the park with our art!"
"Graffiti is not art!"
"Yes it is!"
"Anyway..." The bearded cop turned and looked at Zack. "Thank you young man for helping us them, we owe you a reward."
"What? I helped too!" whined Jack.
"Yeah, but I was much, much, better." Zack shot him an evil smile, while Jack glared at him.
"Yeah he was." said the criminal that got beaten up by Zack.
"Oh, who asked you?!" Jack said annoyed and rolled his eyes.
"Alright, jail is where you two should be, c'mon!" The cops grabbed them by the arms and started to lead them away.
"Wait! said the crook as he stopped the police. He turned back and looked at Zack. "Have you ever invested in taking a shower? Cause you smell like my mamma's three week meatloaf and trust me it ain't fresh!"
Zack ignored him "Cops, take them away." The five cops lead the two criminals out of the park ,and Kim came up and congratulated the two. "Great job, I'm proud of you guys."
"And by "you guys" you mean only me right?" Zack winked.
"No..both of you."
"Oh c'mon Kim, you know I'm the better karate expert."
"Uhh.."
"Oh please, if it wasn't for my help both of those guys would have gotten away. And everybody knows that I'm the best karate expert around here including Kim. Right Kim?" said Jack and both of the guys stared at her intensely.
"Guys, I really don't wanna be apart of this."
"Ha, she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings Jack. Kim totally thinks I'm the best."
"C'mon you two are making a big deal outta nothing. Both of you were great, now can we please move on with our lives?" Kim said impatiently.
"No there can only be one champion, one winner, the best." Zack answered breathlessly as he moves toward Jack.
"Yeah, and that's me." Jack went toward him as well, right now the two looked like they literally wanted to kill each other.
Kim put herself between the two, and lightly pushed them away from each other. "Alright, this is getting ridiculous."
"Well Jack's acting ridiculous if he thinks he's the best karate expert out of the both of us."
"No, I'm not ridiculous, and I am the best karate expert, and just because you beat me once, doesn't mean you can beat me again." said Jack his voice getting a little louder."Alright, YOUR ON!" said Zack and the two went for each other.
"AH! GUYS STOP IT!" Kim yelled as she struggled to separate them. "Are you serious?! There's little kids in this park!"
"They can watch." Jack told her casually.
"Yeah they'll be cheering me on." Zack said. Kim finally managed to grab a hold of both of them and separated each other.
"Okay fine Jack, you think your so tough huh? Well listen to this, yo mama's so nasty I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus!" Out of nowhere a small crowd started to appear around them. The same guy that had tripped Zack had overheard and he came up to Jack and said, "Ooo he told you."
Jack raised up an eyebrow. "A yo mama joke? Seriously?"
"What? You can't top that huh? I am the king of yo mama jokes!"
"Fine, I got one for you. Yo mama's so ugly, when she entered the ugly contest the judges were like 'sorry no professionals.' "
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" shouted the small crowd and other bystanders started to surround them to see the commotion.
"Yo mama so fat she wore a yellow raincoat and people yelled "taxi"!"
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the crowd went crazy. Even hobos were rolling on the floor laughing.
"Well yo mama so stupid, she gave birth to you."
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The yo mama battle continued for a couple more minutes, leaving Kim very exasperated.
Kim's POV
God, I can't believe their having a yo mama battle. Really? Wow...very mature. Though I have to admit some of them were kinda funny. Man if I knew Jack and Zack were going to argue and then have a freakin 'yo mama battle', then I would've never invited Zack to join the picnic in the first place. I could've just left him in the poop, but noooo why do I gotta be such a nice person?
"ENOUGH OF THIS YO MAMA CRAP!" shouted a bearded man. Thank goodness, finally a person who understands my pain...
"You guys should have a real battle, FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" He shouted. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" everybody repeated after him. Yeah I take that back...
"Alright, I'ma give the people what they want. Shall I call the ambulance right now Jack?" He wickedly grinned at him.
"Yeah, sure. Your the one that's gonna need a trip to the hospital when I'm done with you."
With that said, the two tackled each other. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" the crowd cheered. A few guys started to take there shirts off and swing them around. Again, I really don't know why they call this park Sunshine...Psycho Park would be a better fit.
Jack and Zack were violently hitting each other, and it looked like they were more of wrestling each other than doing karate. I decided to put an end to this, so with all my strength I immeadiatly tried to break the two up once again. "GUYS STOP IT!" I grabbed both of them by their shirts, and apparently the two were still squirming around, just aching to punch each other in the face.
"Oh, Kim I forgot you were here." Jack commented.
"Of course you did.." I mumbled.
"Outta the way Kim!" Zack was about to go after Jack again, but I pushed him away."No, no, no, no more! The fight is over!"
"AWWWWWWWWMAAAAAAN." The large crowd whined.
"C'mon I had a really bad day and I want to watch some entertainment!" shouted a man in a business suit. "ONE MORE ROUND! ONE MORE ROUND! ONE MORE ROUND!" Then everybody else started to repeat after him. "ONE MORE ROUND! ONE MORE ROUND!" I swear, I wanted to strangle that crowd.
Zack shot Jack an evil glare, and Jack stared at him , he turned and looked at the crowd who were desperately waiting for the two to go at it again. He glanced at me and his face softened up a little bit. He gasped. "Hey look, it's Britney Spears!"
"WHERE?!" Everybody shouted crazily and turned their heads and looked around. As gullible as I was I even looked around to see if the famous pop star was there. But as soon as I did, a strong grip was on my hand pulling me away escaping the crowd. I panicked for a second until I realized it was Jack. "Man, am I glad we made it outta there."
"Yeah and that fighting took up most of our time together."
"Hey it's all Zack's fault. Besides we have plenty of do you want to go next?"
Normal POV
Jack and Kim were at the milkshake store sitting in the booth drinking from a large chocolate milkshake with two straws. "You know this is really cliche." Kim said.
"Tell me about it. And why didn't we get vanilla?"
"Cause chocolate's better, and the girl always gets to choose that's how it works."
Jack rolled his eyes. Suddenly Kim noticed a small bruise on his arm. "Zack gave you that bruise, huh?"
"Yep.."
"Oh.." Kim answered comfortably but then she went crazy. "You and Zack need to get along, you two almost freakin' killed each other, and of course I'm the one with enough common sense to stop you guys! Why can't the both of you be friends for crying out loud?! Why is it a competition?! And a yo mama battle, seriously? What kind of nonsense was that? You know I should've just knocked some sense into both of you guys. Boy, would that be some real entertainment! That crowd would've been-
"Kim, calm down!" Jack interrupted.
"Don't you tell me to calm down!" Kim said in her in diva tone.
"Just take a deep breath, Kim."
Kim inhaled and exhaled the air.
"Better?"
"Yeah, thanks."
"No problem."
It only took ten peaceful seconds later for Kim to go insane again. "But seriously, why can't you two get along?!"
"Well honestly I think he's annoying, and just the type of person that likes to hog up all the attention. And I"m not the only one, admit it you think he's annoying too."
"No I don't."
"Well you had that annoyed and bored expression on your face when he was telling one of his crappy stories."
Kim crossed her arms. "That doesn't mean anything."
Jack rolled his eyes once again. "Sure it doesn't."
"Fine, I should've just left him there in the poop, and should have never asked him to join the picnic."
"Thank you!" Jack said joyfully.
"You know I still think your jealous..."
"I am NOT jealous!"
"Alright, alright calm down."
"Sorry." He mumbled.
"Just take a deep breath." Kim told him and smiled.
Jack gave her a look. "I'm good."
"Anyway,let's focus on the main reason why were here."
"To figure out what love is so we can act like a better fake couple in front of Layna, so he'll back off of me and go off to Jerry."
"Exactly. But if Jerry and Layna end up together, then what about Grace? We need to know what were going to do with Grace, I keep telling you that!" Kim said as she grabbed onto Jack's shoulders and shook him repeatedly.
"Kim calm-
"Don't you even dare." She interrupted and stared at him deadly.
I wonder if it's that time of the month...Jack thought. Then out of nowhere an idea came up to him. "Hey, why don't we just set up Jerry and Grace together? I mean those two obviously make a better couple .We can't just force Layna to like him anyway."
"Yeah, that makes perfect sense! And Jerry can just totally forget about Layna when he realizes that Grace is the only girl for him. Leaving Layna to just go die in a volcano..or even better I hope she gets murdered, or kidnapped...wait no raped! Yeah.. and we never have to see her fake, stealing, lying, face again! "
"Huh? I'm a little confused."
"Yeah..well there's something that you don't know about her, Jack."
"What is it?"
"Well remember when Jerry, you, and I had that fight about Layna stealing the orb?"
"Yeah.."
"Well after I left, I walked over to the- Kim stared into Jack's eyes suspiciously.
"Walked over to where?"
"Oh nevermind, you wouldn't believe me anyway."
"C'mon Kim just tell me." Jack laid his palm on top of her hand.
"I said nevermind!" Kim pulled her hand away and crossed her arms.
"Fine then." Jack said stunned and for a moment there was an awkward silence. "So...what now?"
"Well, we still need to be a fake couple to get Layna to back off of you. Right now we need to figure out what love is, so..what is it? Kim asked him. "It's how I feel about you" Kim thought in her head eagerly hoping for Jack to say this.
"I don't know, your asking me?" As you can see this was not the answer Kim was looking for...
Kim growled. "Screw you, Jack!"
"Why?! What did I do?!" Jack said confused out of his mind.
"Why can't you just confess?" Kim said, her eyes getting watery.
"You know what I'm talking about!"
"Honestly, I have no idea what your talking about."
Kim buried her hands on her face and started to cry, leaving Jack to be in a really awkward position. "Man are you PMSing or what..." he mumbled.
Kim stopped crying and looked up."What did you say?"
"Er..nothing! So..uh, anyway what's your thoughts on love?"
"Well it's the feeling you get when you really care about somebody...you care about me, right Jack?"
"You know I do."
"Okay good." Kim smiled at him.
"So does this mean 'I love you'?"
"Well you should." Kim said in her diva tone, while Jack unsurprisingly rolled his eyes.
Then Kim started to softened up a little bit. "Jack your hearts gonna let you know if you love somebody. Everytime you see the person you see the person your in love with, your just gonna get this warm feeling inside you, and there's always gonna be butterflies in your stomach, and then you realize that you want to be with each other forever, so you guys get married and have kids and-
"Alright Kim I get it. I mean- yes I get what your saying."Jack smiled at her.
"Great." Then she stood up and grabbed Jack's hand. "Now let's get out of here, it's starting to smell like my uncle's toe fungus up in here."
Jack laughed as the two walked out of the milkshake store together. "Hey, wait you guys forgot to pay!" An employee called out. He let out a sigh. "Crap." He mumbled as he got back to work.
NOTE : I'm not gonna be updating for a while, it's only going to be a short break (maybe a few weeks or so, like how the last time I posted a chapter was at like the end of July, but now it's the end of August) Only a few more days, till I have to go back to prison sadly- uh I mean school. ..same difference. Anyway I'm just gonna relax and make the best out of my last days of summer. I wish good luck to those who started school already or who are going to school soon. Consider this chapter as an 'end of summer' present. Thank you guys for reading and feel free to review, next chapter will be up next time.