-Chapter 9-

-Snow Day-


Author's Note: FINALLY! I got this in. I tried doing this a bit solo because it came to me out of the blue...Well, the first part did. The makeup thing was something we decided altogether. xDD Chibi-suke07 and Josur be my homies. xD

MOVING ON~

In front of the Sparda house, Jose settled on the ivory-blanketed hill, pretending to have a microphone in hand. How did I know? I, Keili stood behind the tree nearby, watching him and everyone around me.

He whispered like a golf announcer, "And here we have begun the first annual Extreme Snow-Fight of 2009…Our contestants are Nicole Roland, Keili Arias, and Dante and Vergil Sparda. I would have joined the fight as well if it weren't for fear of my glasses…Wait, what?"

AUTHORESS RIKA: I figured you wouldn't because of your glasses. Happened to me last year, I broke my glasses. And besides, I like you being announcer!

"But, I don't wanna be alone!!!"

Dante shouted, "Oh my god, are we off this…thing, whatever you call this? Is this a blooper?"

Vergil snorted, "I doubt it. Maybe the authoress' are trying to make us look comedic by making us Audience and Author-aware."

Nicole grinned, "…SNAPS SON. WHO WRITES THIS SHIZ?"

AUTHORESS RIKA & NICOLE: e.e We do.

"So if we try to kill each other with real DMC weapons, we would all survive right?"

AUTHORESS NICOLE: O.O We've said too much. GO. CONTINUE THE STORY.

"But—"

RIKA & NICOLE: NOW.

"A-and here, Jose, I've noticed that I have just magically reappeared outside fully dressed on a hill next to you," Lady stuttered shocked.

"It would appear so, Lady. Time for the games to begin."

Nicole gathered the first snowball and waited for a good time to pelt Dante, who hid in a bush. He doesn't seem to get the principles of camouflage. A green bush that has been shaken clean of its snow does not hide you if you've got platinum silver hair.

She rushed up to the bush and smacked him right in the head with the snow.

Dante, as result, bolted up and ran, hands on his head. "GAH! FUCK!"

She rolled in the snow, laughing.

"YOU MEANT TO DO THAT!"

The male announcer whispered, "What is the meaning of this dancing with his hands on his head?"

"I don't know, but we might as well ask…" Lady walked up to Dante, "Hey, what happened."

"THERE WAS A FUCKING ROCK IN THAT ONE!"

Vergil sighed, landing from his spot on a tree branch. "Nicole, are you just naturally abusive?"

I finally had to come out, since it was safe anyway. "Only to guys…"

Turning to look at Nicole, we found her rather enjoying the snow she ate.

I picked up some, and it was slightly yellow. Yay, yellow snow!!! I pretended to eat it as to freak out the boys and Lady.

"Keili!" Dante smacked it from my hands. "It's yellow snow!"

Nicole lunged at it and picked it up, "LEMON-FLAVORED OH BOY!"

Vergil jerked back on her hood, "No."

And Dante went to pounding me on the back, "SPIT IT OUT!"

Seeing how Nicole wouldn't let go of hers, Vergil got irate and starting speaking…with colloquial grammar…o.O

"There's not nothing—" He was about to snap, but he realized how much he messed up that sentence. "Damn."

"Your English is as bad as mine," Nicole snickered, finally dropping the 'lemon-flavored snow'.

Disgusted by the thought, he responded, "Please, don't put me on the same level as you…"

"Yeah, it makes him feel more whipped than he is."

Time to smack Dante off his high-horse. "When will you give up that word?"

"When Vergil admits he's whipped."

"Don't make me pick that tainted snow back up, light it on fire and throw it back at you."

The next morning, the snow finally melted; as a tradition in the Sparda household, we like to piss each other off. Lady felt it was too immature, but Jose was ready with a camera. Today of all days, we planned to go through with it: Sparda Makeovers.

I'm not the best at makeup, especially without my contacts in. However, Nicole is quite the beautician. She can make our 3rd period, hunchback-of-Notre-Dame teacher look like a voluptuous vixen. We'll have to try that out another day though…

Straddling Dante's stomach, I got to work on the blurry image of him. And I really meant to mess him up. Eyeliner to mess up his beautiful thick lash line, ebony mascara to turn them black, blush to make him look like an over-painted doll, and I wasn't finished yet. I'd paint his nails too, if I get finished quickly enough. Oh, it was sin.

"Jose, start taking pictures!!! He's a heavy-sleeper, so don't worry about the flash."

"Alright," a couple of quick flashes and he ran into Vergil's room to see how she was doing. From what I heard, Vergil looked very androgynous. Or so Jose described, as he snapped some pictures of him and ran back in to see my progress.

When we finished, we couldn't help but to snicker as we dressed and hid the camera.

Now it's time to for them to see the fruits of our labor.

"Danteee," I poked his chest, "Wake up. It's 7."

"Morning Verg!" Nicole chucked a pillow at his face.

"Jose, leave me alone!" Lady snapped at sweet Jose. What a bitch she was being, but Jose could deal. He's got persistence.

Dante bolted up, scratched his head, and fell back on his face. So I hopped on the bed and jumped on his back. "GET UP!"

"What?!?!?!" He snapped.

"Don't you snap at me!" I tried so hard to conceal my laughter, but when he finally got up, all that work I did multiplied ten fold on the "Worst Makeup Scale". He smeared everything.

The twins walked into the bathroom and…

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!" Vergil gave the first verbal recognition of his face.

Dante bust out laughing, "Oh my god, you're face looks horrible and—AHHH!!!"

Nicole frowned mockingly, lying her head on my shoulder as we watched, "I thought he looked like a hawt tranzy. Better than Jeffrey Star hawt." (Star is not a tranzy.)

"…You know about Jeffrey Star?"

Dante rushed out, metal scrubber in his hands, ripping off the skin on his face, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??!?!?"

"I did your makeup," I replied with asceticism, staring at my nails. Nicole finally saw my deliberate handy work and she was on the floor laughing. Vergil went into the shower with his clothes on…so apparently, he was hiding.

"WHY DOESN'T IT LOOK LIKE YOURS?!?!"\

"Because I wasn't wearing my contacts."

Nicole, a bit serious, snorted, "I told you to wear your contacts."

"No you didn't."

"Ohh, right…Oh well!" She smiled and hugged Dante around his middle, "You look better Dante!"

He paused, shocked she would say such a thing.

"THAT'S RIGHT. ROASTED, TOASTED AND INCINERATED BIOTCH."

"How do I get it off?!?!" Dante continued to scrub the skin off his face to no avail.

Nicole shouted back, "You can't!"

We looked over Dante's broad shoulders at Vergil. He touch his reflection, and then his face, turning it this way and that. The 'hawt tranzy' seemed to enjoy it. Nicole brushed past the screaming twin to hug Vergil and ask him about his comments.

"Aren't you mad? You look like you like it." She grinned devilishly.

"I-I was just looking for the soap," He stuttered, adding intensity to his make-up blush.

"WHY KEI WHY?!?!" Dante was on his knees, balled up fists in the air.

"Because it was fun."

Lady rubbed her eyes as she walked down the hall toward the commotion, "What was funny—OH MY GOD DANTE HIDE YOUR FACE."

"I WAS PRETTY BEFORE THIS. YOU," Dante started latching on to my leg, "YOU DEFILED MY FACE!!!"

"Oh you big baby," I dragged him down the hall to get my purse. It had the make-up remover in there. "You better hurry up and get dressed if you wanna make it in time for school! Five minutes left!"

Dante rushed in, book hiding his face from our teacher. "Sorry I was late, Mrs. Baker. I had a facial problem this morning."

When he made it to his seat, the teacher chuckled, finally seeing my awesome make-up skills. I sat down behind him and Nicole behind Vergil. "I can see that. There's still some on your eyes."

"GAWDDAMN IT!"

Vergil decided he'd keep his on. He's a model anyway, so why would people care. No one had the audacity to mess with the Vergil Sparda.

"Vergil, you look very nice today."

Nicole bolted up and smiled, "Thanks, I did it myself!!!"

-End-


Author's Note:

Really crackish. It could have been better, but as long as you enjoyed it and decide review, I don't care!