Spanderverse: Confusion of Three

Ch. 10 – The Xanders

As Sunnydale entered the afternoon, Spike sat on one of the sarcophagi that decorated the inside of

'his' crypt. He had the heavy iron door partly ajar and was staring forlornly out at the bright sunlight bathing the world. It had been raining cats and dogs earlier and Spike had been ready to spend the rare day out in the daytime, with the sun safely hidden behind the thick gray clouds. Those plans were now shot to hell. He could have enjoyed a few hours at least, if he hadn't wasted the time with another slap and tickle session with Harm. Now the bitch was buzzing around, her mouth a non-stop engine of noise and twittering that was getting on his nerves.

Spike had dazed out into a daydream: Buffy came busting into the crypt. She immediately set upon Harmony; but the blonde vampire was too much for her and Buffy was on the floor at her mercy. Of course, Harmony had no mercy, as befitting a vampire. Spike leaped to the Slayer's defense, staking Harmony from behind. As Harmony turned to ash, Spike reached through the cloud to help Buffy to her feet. She immediately launched herself into his arms, "Oh, Spike, you're my hero! How did I ever deceive myself into thinking Riley would ever be the one for me!"

"Now, now, pet," Spike replied, petting her hair, "let's not speak of your mistake again."

"Oh, Spike!" Buffy plied Spike's mouth with her own, her hot and seeking tongue devouring his as the kiss became hotter than lava.

Spike shook out of his daze to see Harmony standing before him, an impatient look plastered on her face.

"Spike! Really, I swear half the time I'm speaking anymore you're off in la-la-land. I said I'd see you later. I'm going through the tunnels to the sewer junction at Twentieth and Glade."

"Hm," Spike said with equal parts disinterest and boredom.

"Yeah, I'm meeting Sandy from high school for tea, and maybe a bite to eat. She said that she had heard from Billy that there may be some construction work going on there today. I'm hoping that a few hunky workers will stop by while Sandy and I catch up on gossip."

"Right, then. You should go, wouldn't want to be late now," Spike said, wishing she'd just go and possibly get lost forever in Sunnydale's warren of sewage tunnels.

Harmony pursed her lips in air kisses to both cheeks of Spike's angular face. "I'd kiss you for real, but if my makeup isn't perfect, Sandy will notice and talk about me behind my back. She's such a bitch since she got turned. Toodles, blondie-snuggles!"

As Spike followed Harmony's progress back to the lair below, he grimaced in distaste. He was really going to have to talk to her about these stupid cutey-names she kept throwing out there. He was having enough problems not getting staked by the demon crowd without her making him sound like a huge poof.

With Harmony out of the way, Spike went to a dark corner and pulled the plastic-Buffy he'd brought back from the garbage dump. Placing the stand-in on one of the stone slabs and arranging the hair just so, he sighed deeply, trying to picture Buffy in its place.

Aloud, he mused, "Buffy…why, after all the times I've been over, does Joyce think so little of me? I mean, I could've bitten her a dozen times over by now, but no! I haven't. You'd think that would rate me just a little respect, wouldn't you? How in the hell does she think Riley could be any good for you, hmmm? He's a cardboard cutout, for Hell's sake! I just don't…"

Spike's soliloquy was interrupted by the tomb door being slammed opened. Jumping back from the sunlight out of habit, he relaxed to see that it was only Xander standing in the doorway. Relieved at that fact, and that the sun wasn't at the correct angle to send its painful rays into the interior of the bunker-like building.

"Hey, Xand. Come for a drink?"

"Actually," Xander said, walking into the gloom, "I came to make you an offer I think you'll find interesting."

Spike's right eyebrow shot up his forehead.

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Commando-Xander pressed the buzzer on the outside of the doorway, greeting Ms. Milner with a broad grin as she opened the door to him. As she looked him over suspiciously, he said simply, "Number 4, please, Ms. Milner. And may I say; you're looking quite lovely today."

Ms. Milner turned away from him with a look of disdain, but Xander was sure he saw a small smile trying to break through the 'old battleaxe' façade. He walked down the stairs, standing in the sunlight on the walkway and waited for Anya.

Turning when he heard Anya's confused voice calling his name, he watched as she came down the front steps to join him in the sunlight. She was wearing a flowery sundress without shoes and her eyes looked at him worriedly.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you still be at work?"

"Actually, I have the rest of the day off. Well, I requested the rest of the day off. I wanted to come by and see how you were feeling, but more to the point I wanted to make sure that you were going to be resting today. I have plans for us this evening, if you're feeling up to it."

"Plans?" Anya said, still trying to decide why Xander wasn't at work where he should be at this time of day.

"Yeah. I thought, if you weren't too tired or sore, that you'd like to go and look at apartments tonight. What do you think?"

Anya's smile was a bright as the sunshine around her, her eyes dancing merrily as she replied. "Really Xander? We're really going to go apartment hunting?"

"I've already gone through all the listings in today's paper. I'm going to go visit them now, weed out all of the ones that are flea pits or closets with delusions of grandeur. I figured I'd pick you up late this afternoon and you could see the one's that are left. Let me know if you like any of them?"

"Oh, my god! This…this is so exciting! I'm going to have my own place, I mean, our own place that isn't just renting a room! We'll have a private bathroom! Oh, and my own appliances!"

Xander laughed, feeling good at Anya's sudden exuberance. He loved to see her like this, when she was excited and laughing. On an impulse he grabbed her, kissing her deeply and causing her to gasp in surprise when he let her go.

"Xander, you're not possessed or anything are you?"

Xander laughed again, "what in the world gave you that idea?"

"You're just acting…different. More confident and, I don't know, not like yourself. Plus, I swear that you're in better shape than you were a few days ago." Anya looked over his tight fitting shirt with a critical eye, "But you still don't know how to pick out shirts. That is really hideous."

"I know, but it was the least ugly thing I had clean. That's the other thing I'd thought we'd do…I could use some more clothes and thought you might like to help me shop. You have better taste than I do, after all."

Anya squealed with delight again. "This is like I'm living in some dream. I can't tell you how many times I've cringed at your taste in shirts!"

Xander laughed with her for a moment more. "I just have a whole new outlook on the world. I've been so busy being afraid of everything that could go wrong, that I've been distancing myself from everyone. You and I having all those fights; my running off on one-man-patrolling missions; spending my free time sitting around on my ass getting drunk. Well, no more, Anya. This is the new and very much improved Xander Harris. From now on, you and I are going to do more enjoying of this crazy little thing called life."

"Well, it's not that I'm not overjoyed to hear it," Anya said, worry beginning to tinge her voice, "but where is the money coming from for all of this 'enjoying'?"

"Ah, my sweet. Little do you realize that you are now speaking to a Crew Chief."

"You got a promotion? Xander, that's wonderful! Let me go grab my shoes, you can walk me to the Magic Box while you're apartment sifting."

"But your arm?"

"Are you kidding? I'm so happy right now, it could fall off and I wouldn't notice. Besides, there is no way I'm not running to the Magic Box and gloating. Not when I've been waiting so long for you to be reasonable!"

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Across the street, Zeppo-Xander slouched behind a car, fuming. He didn't know what his oh-so-smooth counterpart was saying to his girlfriend, but he could tell that Anya was eating it up with a spoon. Poor Anya, so easily fooled. And look at that smug smile on that bastard! Toth knew he was in like Flynn and no one was seeing him for the demon he really is!

Xander continued following phony-Xander and Anya as he walked her to the Magic Box. She was all smiles and animated talking the entire way, while Toth smooth-talked her.

It was all that Xan could do to restrain himself when the faker leaned over and kissed Anya softly before walking away. He wanted to rush up to Anya and scream for her to wake up and smell the stalking demon, but was afraid she'd already been hypno-whammied. No, Xander knew he needed to find a way to stop Toth before he could corrupt anybody else.

So he followed him throughout the afternoon, ducking into alleyways, crouching behind cars, and diving into crowds of people. He ignored as best he could the wild stares people gave him as they took in his disheveled and filthy appearance. He refused to be chased off by the people who gave him dirty looks when he tried to duck behind them. He did apologize for his smell to those whom he got too close to, but didn't have time to explain to them that he didn't usually use eau-de-stench, preferring Stetson.

Somewhere along the day, he didn't remember exactly when or where, he'd come across a medium length of branch. Broken off of one of the neighborhood trees, it was short and blunt. Perfect for use to the side of someone's head, Xander followed Xander into another apartment building as the shadows lengthened. He was getting tired out by all the walking and decided this would be where he made his stand.

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(Earlier)

Hyena-Xander padded into Spike's crypt, looking around at the dusty interior. His eyes swept the deeply shadowed corners out of habit, looking for any signs of imminent attack. He noticed the mannequin that Spike had set up on a large stone sepulcher, but paid it no attention.

Spike watched Xander walk around the tomb he'd made his own, his eyebrow lifting in puzzlement. He could detect something off with his Xander and his mind was working as to what it was that was bothering him. As Spike watched the way Xander moved, his eyes seemed drawn to the way his hips rolled, like he was a panther stalking. It wasn't the way he'd always seen Xander Harris walk before; this was more predatory, and perhaps, sexualized. Spike stared hard at the person in front of him, taking a deep breath. It revealed Xander's pheromones, but there was also something primitive and musky there. It was a scent that Spike had never smelled on his friend before, not even after they'd been in an energetic fight and the human had been sweating buckets. This scent was as dangerous as it was provocative.

"So, ah, what is this interesting offer, then?" Spike said, struggling to stay out of game face. Whatever had happened to Xander, it was having an interesting affect on Spike as well.

Spike watched with widening eyes as Xander walked toward him with those rolling hips and that tantalizing scent until he stood mere inches from the vampire. Xander smiled, and Spike swallowed subconsciously, watching the predatory cast of his glance.

Spike felt Xander's eyes traveling up and down the length of his body. His muscles began to hum with nervous energy and he felt his facial features begin to ripple into his predator's visage.

Hyena-Xander leaned forward, his face millimeters from Spike's neck, as he breathed in the vampire's dusty scent. Xander nudged Spike's cheek, for emphasis, before taking a step back.

"I want to know if you'd like to manage the pack at my side," Xander said simply, "as my mate."

Spike was standing with his eyes closed, perfectly stilled as Xander had leaned so close that he could feel the other man's body heat. As he had felt a warm nose nudge his face and heard Xander's intake of breath at his neck, his face fully ridged, the fangs springing into prominence.

By the time Xander pulled away, Spike felt that if he'd had a heartbeat, it would be racing. He looked at his friend with confusion, his face an uneasy mixture of distrust and lust fighting for dominance.

"Y-Y-You're mate? Xander, what the hell is happening to you?"

"Nothing. I'm the same old Xander. I'm just one that is tired of Buffy usurping my rightful place as the pack leader. I need someone strong to support me and help me put down her rebellion." Xander's eyes held a hint of the wild that Spike had never seen in him before.

"Xander…I don't think you realize what you're doing. You're…there's…you're different. I can smell the difference on you. It's like…there's something wild in you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Spike. Look, I've tried to make this easy on her, okay? I offered to make her my mate, but she doesn't want that. She wants to rule alone and I can't condone that, no matter how much I may care for her. She needs to be shown the proper hierarchy. I can't do that alone, the others won't want to see the position she's claimed taken from her. I need someone strong to stand with me for the others to fall into line."

Spike, now out from under the effects of Xander's pheromones, slipped back into his human face. Retracting the fangs took effort, as the demon driving him wanted desperately to grab the human in front of him and claim him. Spike understood the impulse and if the chip hadn't been in his head, he may have already given into it. Hell, there was no maybe about it! Xander was putting off a sexual vibe that had Spike ready to rip off both their clothes, but the William part of his psyche recognized that something was extremely wrong here. And the chip gave him the self-control to think through his actions and possible effects.

Fortunately for Xander, Spike thought, I can't put a claim-bite on him even if I did lose control. I'm pretty sure he's going to be in a world of embarrassment once the Scoobies reverse whatever the hell is going on with him.

Aloud Spike told him, "I think you got the wrong idea, mate. You may have suddenly found your inner pink triangle, but if you're looking for an undead poofter, you should head for L.A."

Spike drew back, his face showing his shock as he heard a rumbling from Xander's chest. Did he just growl at me? Humans don't growl! Well, not usually, but Xander sure seems to be growling now. Toth! Something in that blast has made Xander…different. I've got to get to Giles and warn the others before the guy does something we can't fix.

"Don't be so quick to turn me down, Spike. You think I can't feel how much you want me, right now. The sexual tension in you is so tight; you're skin's about to split. And you know, sooner or later, I will be in charge of the pack. You don't wanna find yourself on my bad side. I'll give you a few days to really think over what I'm offering you."

Xander turned around and all but glided to the crypt's door. His movements were smooth, again giving Spike the impression of a sleek jungle cat. Although Spike wasn't consciously aware of it, his attention was riveted on the hips and fine meaty ass of his friend.

Xander turned just before heading back out into the sunlight, "Oh, by the way," he started, his voice thick with an undertone of violence, "I'll be really disappointed in you, if you go running off and warning Buffy about what's coming."

As Xander left, not bothering to close the door, Spike reached out to steady himself against a pillar. He felt unsteady, like while Xander was there, they'd been standing in a vacuum and now that he was gone, the atmosphere was imploding back in around him.

When he had control of himself again, the fear came. Something was deeply wrong with his friend, something to do with Toth and that blast he'd taken. And it was deeper than Xander's weird behavior judging by his off-kilter scent.

And what the hell is all this 'pack' talk, anyway?

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End Ch 10