EDIT: Author's Note: A recent review has suggested a different way of doing this chapter, and after some consideration, I have decided that he's right. Thanks Aechiles.

Runescape and the Holy Grail

Chapter 10: The Tale of Sir Robin

And so each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin took to the forests of eastern Kandarin, accompanied by his favorite minstrels. As Sir Robin rode through the forest, his minstrels would play their instruments harps, and lutes, and pipes, and sing of Sir Robin's brave deeds.

And thus they sang:

"Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot

He was not at all afraid, oh brave Sir Robin!

He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways!

Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

"He was not in the least bit scared to be smashed into a pulp!

Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken!

To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away!

And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

"His head smashed in, and his heart cut out,

And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,

And his nostrils slit and his bottom burned off,

And his naughty parts…."

"Err, um, that's enough music for now, lads," Sir Robin interrupted suddenly, "Look's like there's dirty work afoot."

This was true, (though not the primary reason he had stopped them) as the woods in which they rode was now filled with bones and bloodied corpses- many of which clearly were once low-level players.

Suddenly, the farmer Dennis and his ugl-, er, I mean: unfortunately disfigured woman companion ran past.

"Help! Help! We're being repressed!" Dennis yelled as he ran.

"Run! Its a three headed tyrant!" the masculine-faced woman, yelled.

"Three headed tyrant?" Sir Robin wondered.

Suddenly, an enormous black creature burst out of the trees and into the clearing. It was like an enormous lizard, with giant bat wings, razor sharp claws, three heads with dagger-like teeth, and six terrible, blood-red eyes. It was the legendary King Black Dragon!

"Halt, food!" the three heads of the terrible monster bellowed in unison, "Who goes there!?"

Instantly, the lead minstrel jumped in, accompanied by the instrumental music of his fellows, "He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, brave Sir…!"

"Shut up!" Sir Robin yelled at the minstrels, instantly silencing them. Then turning to the hungry-looking beast he stuttered, "N-n-n-n-n-nobody really. J-j-j-j-j-just p-p-p-p-passing through."

"What do you want!?" the KBD demanded.

"To fight, and….!" The lead minstrel began again.

"Shut up!" Robin shouted again. Then he turned back to his opponent and repeated, "N-n-n-n-n-nothing really. J-j-j-j-j-just p-p-p-p-passing through."

"I'm afraid not!"

"Well, um, uh," Robin said, thinking hard to find an excuse that might get him out of this alive. Then at last he tried, "Well, I am a Knight of the Round Table."

"You're a Knight of the Round Table!?" the three-headed dragon asked in surprise and awe.

Standing up straighter and now feeling quite a bit braver, Sir Robin confirmed, "I am."

"In that case I'd like to kill you," the head on the right replied, much to Robin's dismay.

"Let's gas him!" suggested the middle head.

"I'd rather burn him," said the right one again.

"Oh, let's be nice to him," said the left head.

"Oh, shut up," the right head snapped.

"I…," Sir Robin tried to cut in to add his vote to the "Let's be nice to him."

"And you!" all three heads cut Robin off at once.

"Oh, come on brothers!" the right head whined, "I want to bite his head off!"

"Oh, bite your own head off!" the left head sniffed.

"Yes, do us all a favor," the middle head agreed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" right head questioned.

"You're lucky you're not next to him," the middle head said to the left head.

"What do you mean?" right head demanded again.

"You snore!" middle head replied.

"Oh, I do not!" right head answered, "And anyway, you've got bad breath!"

"Well it doesn't do us any good that you never brush my teeth!"

"Guys, guys!" the left head interrupted, "Let's all stop arguing and go and eat some dragonslayers!."

"All right, all right," the right head conceded, "We'll squish this guy first, then we'll go have some dragonslayers and noobs."

"Yes," middle head nodded.

"Oh, not noobs," left head disagreed, "Too chewy."

"Oh, fine, not noobs," right head rolled his eyes, "But let's just go ahead and kill him anyway!"

"Right!" the other two agreed.

By this time, however, Sir Robin had used the bizarre conversation to his advantage.

"He's run off!" right head observed angrily.

"So he has," middle head agreed.

"The cowardly little noob!" growled left head.

---Some miles away---

"Sir Robin ran away!" the head minstrel happily sang.

"No!" Sir Robin objected.

"Sir Robin bravely ran away, away!"

"I didn't!" the least brave of King Arthur's knights said in a very whiney voice.

"When danger reared its ugly head,

He bravely turned his tail and fled, ("No, I didn't!")

Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about,

And gallantly he chickened out, ("All lies!")

Bravely to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat,

Bravest of the braaaaaaave Sir Robin!! ("Liar! Liar!")

To Be Continued…