The Beating Of My Heart
A/N I do not own anything Ch and AB do.
Chapter 10
When Pam rose the next night, Eric was still dead to the world beside her. He was looking paler than usual. What had really happened between Sookie and Eric the night before. Taking one last look at her maker, Pam got up and dressed. She needed answers and she knew where to get them. Pam grabbed the keys to her minivan and headed to Bon Temps.
Pam found Sookie in her greenhouse working away on replanting roses and orchids into larger pots.
"Hello Sookie" Pam greeted as she stood at the entrance of the greenhouse. She needed to stay back until she found out what had happened.
"Pam" Sookie replied not even looking up. What was her problem?
"What have you done?" Pam asked a little colder than she meant to.
"Why is it me who is always at fault?" Sookie asked wearily.
"Well, you usually do things without thinking of anyone but yourself. Especially if it has to do with Eric. What have you done to my Eric, Sookie?" Pam asked again her tone slightly dangerous.
"It is none of your business" Sookie said and continued to work.
Pam lost it and had Sookie by the throat dangling in the air before you could say "fuck a zombie".
"What have you done to Eric?" Pam asked once more and this time it would be the last.
"Let me go and I will explain what happened" Sookie wheezed out. Pam abruptly dropped her back onto her feet and backed away. Sookie rubbed her throat and then began.
"I kind of jumped to conclusions last night and Eric snapped. He renounced his claim on me and shouldered all the responsibility of it, whatever that means" Sookie replied with a shrug.
"He what?" Pam said as she stumbled back a few steps. He had signed his death warrant and he did it for this stubborn, selfish child who had no idea what she had done. Fuck.
"It's over and there's nothing I can do. I'm sorry" Sookie said and went back to planting her precious flowers.
Her nonchalant attitude finally made Pam snap. Pam grabbed those precious plants and started smashing them on the floor.
"You fucking bitch. HE is going to be finally dead because you can't think before you react and you sit here and pretend that everything is ok. How dare you" Pam yelled as she continued to destroy plants.
"How dare I? I know I fucked up Pam but what am I supposed to do, Huh? I' m working so I can keep my mind busy. I lost Niall do to my childish behaviour and now Eric. I'm so sorry, I wish I could take it back, all of it" Sookie said as tears streamed down her tanned cheeks. All the rage left Pam and she felt hollow.
"How is he?" Sookie asked timidly.
"He's dying Sookie, not good" Pam replied and sighed. Pam was gone before Sookie could even register it. Sookie fell into a heap on the cold greenhouse floor and wept.
"Sookie" came Claudine's voice. Sookie slightly stirred.
"Sookie, wake up" Claudine shook Sookie slightly.
"Claudine?" Sookie murmured as she opened her eyes.
"Yes, it's me and I might have some good news" Claudine said as she helped Sookie up off the floor and POP they were in her kitchen. Claudine poured Sookie a drink of sweet tea and sat down across from her at the kitchen table.
"There are the "Trials". You are tested in different ways and if you pass than you are presented with a Culveil Dor" Claudine said. Sookie sat up straighter.
"What's a Culveil Dor?" Sookie asked Claudine.
"It is a fairy token of love. Usually given from one lover to another and can be used for one wish" Claudine said as she watched Sookie closely.
"I can use it to save Eric?" Sookie asked hope shining in her eyes.
"If you love him, truly love him then yes" Claudine said with a nod.
"How do I begin these "Trials"?" Sookie asked.
"I'll get everything started. As for when, well it could happen anytime and anywhere. Good luck Sookie. I think though before you begin you should see Eric" Claudine said and POP she was gone.
It took Sookie two days to correct the damage Pam had caused and they same amount of time to work up the courage to go to Eric.
Sookie showered and then did her hair and make up. Next she decided on a white slip dress that fell to her ankles and paired it with gold sandals. She looked like a goddess but felt like a heel. She grabbed her clutch from the counter and uttered the incantation that deposited her out back of Fangtasia with a POP. Sookie walked round to the front of the building and eyed the new person at the door. Where was Pam? When Sookie reached the front of the line she handed the vampire her money and he smirked at her but allowed her inside.
As Sookie walked through the place she scanned the bar for Pam or Eric. Her eyes landed on Pam who was standing near the hallway that led to Eric's office. Sookie lifted her head high and talked towards Pam with an air of arrogance. Just before Sookie reached Pam a vampire with long black hair appeared before her. Pam bowed deeply to the woman vampire and wandered if she maybe a Queen. Sookie approached.
"Hello, Pam" Sookie said pleasantly and nodded her head. Pam seemed to be surprised.
"Sookie" Pam replied back and gave her a nod in return. The other woman turned around and gave Sookie a sly grin.
"So this is the human that Eric dumped me for. My she is beautiful but not more beautiful than I" the vampire laughed. Sookie's nerves rattled but she held her confident posture.
"Yes, your Highness" Pam said and Sookie caught her look of disgust.
"Very well" the Queen replied and took a seat on the Dias.
"The Queen of Oklahoma has come to see if Eric would change his mind apparently. Wait here I have something for you" Pam said as she blurred out of sight and was back again seconds later holding a wooden box. Pam handed it to her and Sookie excepted it. The top had ornate designs and rubies embedded on the top of it. It was magnificent.
"What's this for?" Sookie asked curiously.
"It is was Eric's and now it is yours. Inside contains some letters and things he a wrote when you were gone. I know that you truly doubted his feelings for you but you should read those and then rethink your assessment" Pam said with a sad little smile.
"Wait, you said was, is Eric gone?" Sookie choked out.
"I, he.." Pam started and in a startling display of emotion began to cry. After a few seconds she seemed to remember where she was and became quiet.
"Just read the papers" Pam said and was gone.
Sookie listened for once and left Fangtasia box still in her arms. She walked to the edge of the woods and POP she was home. Sookie walked into her bedroom, climbed on her bed and opened the box.
The first article inside was a drawing of her working in her greenhouse. There was a look of concentration and enjoyment on her face. The drawing was beautiful. It had the initials EN on the bottom an a date of three days ago. Eric had drawn this after what she had done, her eyes welled up with tears.
Next was a picture of her and Eric the night before Godric's suicide. She was looking at Nan Flannigan but Eric was looking at her and the look was a fond one. Had he cared for her back then? Had he had other reasons why he made her drink his blood?
The thing she found next shook her to the core, it was one of the bullets that she had sucked from his chest. It was taped to an envelope and upon opening it she found a letter.
Letter
Dear Sookie
Hello little one I wander how you are doing and what you are feeling. This puzzles me for I' am a thousand year old vampire yet I find for the first time in a long while I have feelings. I hate feelings, they make you weak and vulnerable but when I think of you I feel none of those.
I feel something deep inside me trying to start again. A spark or a beat in my undead heart and it's for you, Only for Sookie.
Pam seems to think that I'm losing it and that I should get over it but your already burrowed deep inside and I don't think that I can get you out even if I wanted to.
I think of you with that incompetent smug dick Bill Compton and I want to rip him to shreds. You are to good for him. Your like a light in the darkness and vampires will only snuff that out. I hope that you may forgive one day that which I deceived you into doing but I had my reasons. Ok, some were selfish of course and I won't deny that but others were of necessity.
I don't trust dear Bill, to many things he has said have rubbed me the wrong way. I feel for your safety and with my blood in your veins I can track you and help keep you safe. It may make you more attracted to me but you have done that already and didn't need blood to accomplish it.
Take care Sookie Stackhouse and always burn bright,
E
End Letter
Sookie's mouth fell open and she just gapped at the piece of paper in her hands. He had feelings for her? That letter was so out of character for Eric. Sookie set it aside and pulled the next envelope from the box and opened it.
Letter
Dear Sookie
Your gone, your fucking gone. You killed yourself right in front of me just like Godric had done to you and I could only helplessly stand by and watch. A vampire feeling helpless is a rare thing and something I wish not to ever feel again. At least I got to hold you one last time, it killed me inside to watch your light go out.
It felt good to embrace the rage and hunt for the Queen and Bill. Although I wasn't the one to kill SA, that honour was given to Russell I still felt satisfied. As I knelt before him and accepted the fact that he was going to end me I felt joy. I mean I guess it was joy and it was because I wanted to be with you again. I wanted to join you my love, my Sookie.
Pause
Sookie's hand holding the letter started to tremble and tears hit the paper to leave little marks. She noticed that there were little spot's of blood and knew that hey must have been Eric's tears. God, she had been so wrong.
"It's all lies Sookeh, you must believe me. Eric's laughing at you for believing such dribble and he's fucking his new waitress as we speak" Bill said as he appeared at the foot of Sookie's bed. Wasn't Bill dead?
"HE doesn't love you. Eric Northman is not capable of love. He wants to have sex with you and then he'll discard you like yesterdays garbage. Trust me sweetheart, he's not worthy" Bill continued.
Sookie's rage started to build as she let Bill's words sink in. How could he do this to her? He didn't know the meaning of the word love. How could she have been so stupid as to believe him, believe anything he had ever said or done?
Sookie dropped the letter, already forgotten onto the bed and jumped up with murder in her eyes as her hands began to glow. He was not worthy, he was not worthy.
TBC