Tick, tock, tick, tock…
She took another sip of the instantaneous coffee that was warming her hands and resisted the urge to wince at the bitterness that filled her mouth. They should buy some sugar, at least a small package, she would never get used to that strong taste.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
She rose from the bed and walked to the window. The sun was covered by clouds from time to time and a gentle breeze stirred the branches of the bare trees surrounding the cemetery, it seemed that there was going to be a not particularly cold day.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
Someone yelled in French and a door slammed shut, followed by fast and loud footsteps that crossed the entire corridor, momentarily increasing in intensity as they passed her room.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
She put the cup with the coffee sediment covering the walls of its inside in her nightstand and looked at her bag, resting in the middle of the bed she had made twice in the past half hour.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
Her heart was beating so hard that it crashed into her ribs, following the rhythm that the movement of the clockwise marked. She swallowed and approached the mattress.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
"Oh, come on, pick it up and get it over with". Emily opened her bag and searched at the bottom, in the right corner, where she knew she should find it. She closed her fingers around the plastic device and pulled it out, watching it as if it was a weapon of mass destruction.
The phone couldn't get warm in her hand because of that cold sweat that coated it. She was about to hyperventilate.
"You're just going to call her, what's the worst that can happen?". She was running out of time. In less than an hour she had to leave the hotel, if she didn't want to be late for work and she had decided the night before, as she held Alison in her arms, that she would call her the next day, she had promised herself, she couldn't keep postponing it.
Taking one last breath she let her fingers wander over the numbers that the touch screen offered and held the phone to her ear, not knowing whether to pray for a fast answer or for just not getting one.
- Emily? – The instantaneous reply won.
- Hello… Aria.
The line was silent for a few seconds. The brunette felt her body tense, maybe she shouldn't have drink that coffee so loaded.
For days she couldn't stop thinking about the three girls she had left in Rosewood, marooned, her three best friends. She hadn't given any explanation to them, neither had she said goodbye, she'd just disappeared. She was afraid about how worried they might be, what they would think about her, how betrayed they should feel… That's why she had concluded that it was necessary for her to speak with them, at least with one of them and, after thinking a lot, she had decided that Aria would be the chosen one.
- I… I was calling for… well, I just wanted you to know that I'm okay, we are okay. – There was no answer. Emily began to move around the room, restlessly. – I know I should have called before or… I should have told you something when we were leaving but… I don't know, it all happened so fast and… Aria, are you there?
- Yeah. – She said, making that syllable an endless word. – I hear you. – She didn't sound exactly angry, she seemed… indifferent?
- Well… then… yeah, we… we're okay. I can't tell you where, but… we are okay. – How many times had she already repeated it? – How… how are you?
- … - It was being the most uncomfortable conversation she had ever had with her throughout her whole life. – Fine.
- Good…
She didn't know what to say, what to ask. Suddenly it was as if she didn't know that girl, as if she hadn't been her friend for years, and Emily wondered if she would already have lost her and the rest, she wondered if, perhaps, that would be the price she would have to pay to be with Alison.
- Will you come back? - The question caught her unawares, more due to the cutting tone with which it was made than to the question itself, but what had she been expecting? Laughs and "congratulations" for leaving them on their own on one of those times when they needed her the most?
- No… at least not for now. – She ran a hand through her hair, it was time to find out what kind of mess she had left behind. – Aria… did something happen?
- No.
- A didn't try to…?
- No. We hadn't heard anything from A since you two left.
- And you… did you have any problem with… New York?
- No. – She answered quickly, as if she was afraid that someone was interfering with their conversation and could be able to tie some knots (it wasn't a bad precaution, for what they knew, that could be happening).
Emily felt how the pressure that pressed her chest decreased, slowly, at least they were safe.
- I'm glad to hear that, you don't know how…
- Are you with her?
- What?
- Alison, are you with Alison? – She could have misunderstood the question, she might have thought that she was asking if Alison was with her in the room, if she was sitting beside her, watching the conversation in silence, but the tone she used was so clear that she didn't hesitate about the meant of that question.
- Yes.
- For real?
- Yes… Alison and I are together. – She said that phrase, word by word, as if it was a confession, a sentence. Aria sighed across the line.
- And are you… all right? – She asked with a hint of concern.
- Yes.
- Then that's all that matters. – Because of that certain phrase, said with the greatest sincerity of the world, without reproach, without rancor, the brunette was only able to lean against the wall and close her eyes, knowing that she had chosen the right person to talk at the moment. – Though, you might have called a little earlier, if your mom hadn't told us anything we would have thought that the story was happening again, but well… more or less it is happening again, only now there are two of you missing.
- Sorry.
- I should be yelling at you right now, you know that, don't you?
- Yes, and… I really appreciate you're not.
- Before answering this call I decided I'll hear you, and that's what I'm going to do, then… I can't promise anything.
It was time. It was the moment to explain why she had left Rosewood almost without giving it a second thought, why she hadn't considered her family or them, why she wasn't regretting where she was.
She breathed deeply and felt how her eyes began to burn.
- I couldn't lose her again, I… I wouldn't have been able to get over it. She was leaving, Aria, she was leaving for good and I… I couldn't go back through everything I went through when she disappeared the first time. I couldn't spend every night wondering where she would have gone, if she would be ok, if… if I'll see her again. – She stopped for a second to control the tremor in her voice. – I know she's done terrible things, that… that she had done horrible things to me, to you… - It was absurd to try to protect the blonde, excusing all the pain she had caused. Emily wasn't in Paris because she believed the girl was a saint, no, her motives went beyond that, they exceeded it, but neither did them make her forget it. – She fooled us all, she made us believe that she was… dead. – Every time she thought about that something squirmed inside of her body. – And I know that she got us into a hell, that if it wasn't for her A would have never appeared in our lives, that everything would be easier, that we could be… normal. – She dried with the back of her hand the two tears that had opened a channel in each of her cheeks. – But I couldn't let her go, I couldn't take her out of my life. I would have never forgotten her. If I had let her go, if I had stayed in Rosewood… I would have never been able to take her out of my mind and I couldn't think of living that kind of life, I… I wouldn't have been able to live such a life.
She stayed silent, still with words tumbling over in her throat. There were other things she wanted to say, more things she should say, but she had been left without voice. She hoped that it all had been enough, that Aria would be able to understand why she did what she did with that explanation, that the emotion housed in each one of the letters that had come from her mouth could convince her that, despite being pure craziness, it was the right thing to do, the only possible right thing to do.
- I wish she'll be able to love you as much as you love her. – The brunette bit her lip and felt the lump in her throat tightening. – Em… I'm not going to tell you that what you've done is okay. We are worried about you, and we want you both here but… if the two of you are well and think that it is the best for you… - Emily thanked that she was speaking in plural, about Alison and her, because one of the things she most feared was that the girls would end hating the blonde more than necessary because she had "taken" the brunette away from their lives. – If you return, you'll say it, right?
- Sure, of course. – The brunette assured.
- Well… - Emily heard voices on the other side of the line and Aria, with a little hesitation, saying that she was talking to Hanna. – I have to go, but if you want to talk some other time… you can call me.
- Thank you. – The brunette said, it had been a short but very intense conversation, at least she hadn't hung up the phone when she had tried to explain. She heard a door slamming in the distance.
- You should call Hanna and Spencer. – Aria told her quietly. – Maybe they'll be a little more… aggressive than me, but they deserve a call.
- I… I will. – Calling Aria had cost her three sleepless nights, the mere thought of calling Spencer or Hanna made her instantly start to shake. – Tell them that everything is all right, that…
- Tell them yourself, seriously, talk with them. – She didn't say it in a derogatory manner, otherwise emphatically, letting her know that the other two girls wanted that conversation, although all knew it wouldn't be pleasant.
- I'll do it.
- Ok. We'll talk later.
- Sure…
- Emily?
- Yes?
- Why did you call me? – The brunette took a second to think about the answer. Even though the four were friends alike, she had always felt more attached to Hanna, then she would say that she had a little more affinity with Spencer and, finally, even being near all together, she'll count Aria. But that situation she was living, her new present, wasn't governed solely by her. Her everyday consisted of two people: she and Alison, and the brunette didn't feel strong enough to talk with Spencer or with Hanna about her and Alison, mostly because she had been pretty sure they wouldn't even want to hear about it.
- I thought you'd understand.
- I do. – And Emily knew she did, that with everything that had happened with Ezra, Aria understood.
Because, while Hanna and Spencer had had their problems with Caleb and Toby, none of them had to consider whether their relationship with them was a complete lie, a cruel hoax that only seek to harm them, they were fortunate to know, certainly, that however awful it all might have seemed, they had not been used at any time.
- I'll try to call you in a few days. – The brunette said, happy to pronounce that sentence.
- Bye, Emily. – Aria said.
- Bye.
- Hey, people… hey! Do you hear me? – John watched helplessly as each of the occupants of the table was immersed in conversation, laughing and flirting, he wanted to be a little higher to be able to just, standing, draw enough attention. – Please, I just want to say one thing. – It was impossible, with the noise of the whole restaurant and the commotion they were creating, it was utterly impossible that they would listen to him. – HEY! – He shouted with all his might and, miraculously, it worked, in a second he had about 14 pairs of eyes focused on him. – Thanks. Well, I wanted to tell you that today is a very important day for all of us. After three weeks ignoring us, the new girl has decided to honor us with her presence. – He pointed to Alison, who at that time was drinking water, trying to go unnoticed… well, what the heck! She still loved being the center of attention (if it wasn't because of someone trying to take her life away, obviously). She put the glass down and smiled to everyone. – Estella, welcome to the family.
- Welcome! – Everybody raised their glass to her and took a sip.
That was, indeed, a very good welcome.
After John had insisted every day to her to have lunch with them, the blonde had yielded and had accompanied them to the Brasserie at the beginning of the street where the library was placed.
She thought it would be a very tense moment, with only six people at the table, especially considering that two of those six people were in the midst of an emotional storm, the other two fought for the leadership of the shop and the last one looked like one of those creepy vampires from gothic novels.
She thought she'll die of boredom but, "lucky her", that wasn't the case.
There weren't only six of them, no, there were also the seven employees who took the afternoon shift, and some other people that replaced someone occasionally. They had been seated in a long, sturdy table in the innermost part of the restaurant, and they had just ordered when John decided that Alison needed to be officially introduced to all of them.
- Oh, just so you know, she is one of us! – The boy said smiling, and he was showered with boos.
- You make it sound like a sect. – A girl with dreadlocks said from the other end of the table, producing some laughter.
Alison raised one eyebrow and accidentally met her gaze with Ann's, who was sitting right in front of the blonde, watching her with pity, as if she knew that lunch would be completely uncomfortable for her. The girl hadn't spent enough time out of the store with anyone to get into the "personal level" (at least not too much), so now she was clearly exposed, in danger.
- He means that you're American, like most of us. – Ann explained to her, being those the first words that she addressed to her directly.
- But not all! – Someone protested and voices were raised to support him.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah… - John said. – Although they are right. – The boy sat next to Alison and the conversation returned to sprout slowly around them. – Here we have people from all over the world. British, Irish, Canadian… there's even an Australian. – He pointed to the girl that had answered him before.
Apparently, the only requirement for that job was to have English as your first language.
- Nice. – Alison had noticed the different accents that flew across the table from the fragments of dialogues, but she hadn't thought that the group of people surrounding her could be so varied.
- Yeah, Paris is the birthplace of diversity. – John said, taking another sip from his beer.
- Wow, that's already hitting on you, huh, Johnny? – Charlie scoffed, drinking from his own beer. – How sad it is that you have to drink to try to impress her?
- What? – John asked, bothered by the comment. What was wrong with that guy?
- I said that you are very sad. By the way, don't you think that blondie already has someone to warm her bed?
- Hey! – Alyson exclaimed, unable to contain herself. – I'm right here, in case you hadn't noticed.
- Of course I had noticed, beautiful. – The blonde rolled her eyes at the cloying tone he had used in that last word. – Well, tell us, is there some lucky guy who knows how you like toasts in the morning?
- Charlie, enough. – John said firmly, starting to show some redness on the cheeks, with his tight fists resting over the table. The wolf-like smile in Charlie's face only grew a little more.
- Come on, man, I'm doing it for your own sake, don't you want to know if you can have a chance with her?
- Why do you always have to be such an asshole? – He asked as a response.
Alison had dealt with many idiots in her life, but Charlie was about to beat them all. The guy was the usual "pretty boy" that, inexplicably, was able to conquer countless girls, even with his stupidity.
When they had arrived at the restaurant the blonde had tried to sit as far as possible from him, honestly, she even preferred to sit with Kevin and watch him doing origami with his napkin before being close to that jerk. But the table was already almost full and she had managed to sit next to John, it was something, or that's what she thought... at her other side was Charlie. At that time the girl would give anything to be sitting between Ann and Bruce.
- Come on, Estella, tell us, do you have a boyfriend? – Charlie asked directly and Alison had to hold tightly the glass she had in her hand to not crash it into his head, a few months ago she would have done it without a second thought… well, maybe not, but at least she would have slapped his face, or she would have yelled at him that he was a total prick and that he shouldn't dare to even look at her.
- Charlie, leave her alone, you're making her uncomfortable. – Ann intervened.
Just then the food started to be served and the blonde thought that the conversation would die, John was already taking his knife and fork and Ann was putting some salad in Bruce's plate, the boy hadn't said a word since they'd arrived.
- I really think it isn't a difficult question, you only have to say yes or not. – But of course, Charlie knew nothing about following the normal "rules" of any situation.
- For how long have you been in Paris, Estella? – Ann asked to the blonde, ignoring the boy, trying to steer the conversation before it was too late.
- Almost a month. – Alison answered.
- Wow, then… you found a job pretty fast. – The girl said to her, honestly surprised.
- Yeah, I was lucky.
Charlie let out a strange laugh with his mouth closed and the two girls shot him with a look.
- Are you studying something? – Ann went on.
- No… I've decided to take a break.
- That's fine.
When all the dishes were scattered they ate in silence, only surrounded by the background noise generated by outside conversations and the clash of the cutlery, thank God.
Alison didn't need anyone to defend her, but she had to admit that Ann had done her a favor, she had probably helped her to keep her job, sticking a fork in your boss's hand can't be good, even if you have a signed contract (something that, surprisingly, she hadn't had to fight for a lot).
- So, - Charlie continued, as he chewed a piece of meat, obsessed to get a response. – you come from America to Paris, alone? Without knowing anyone? Without…?
- I didn't said I'm alone. – Alison said, so tired of him.
- Aha! She has a boyfriend. – He leaned forward and looked at John, who was very focused on his plate of soup, carefully filling each scoop, bringing it with precision into his mouth. – Sorry dude, she's taken.
- Jeez, Charlie, I swear… - The boy closed his eyes, he was going to kill him.
- Ah! – Bruce's scream distracted them all in a heartbeat.
- Sorry. – Ann apologized immediately, watching with wide eyes how, down the blue boy's shirt, slipped a good portion of viscous mashed potatoes. – Let me help… - The girl rushed to drop the spoon with which she had tried to serve him and took her napkin, ready to clean up the mess she had made.
- No! – He refused, trying to push her hands away before they came into contact with the garment. – Stay there!
- Bruce, it was burning, you'll…
- Don't touch me! – He shouted and the girl froze, the napkin inches away from his chest.
Everyone at the table was looking at them. The boy noticed the show they were giving and stood from his chair with a loud snort. He left a bill on the table, picked up the jacket that he had previously hung over the back of his chair and left. All the presents remained quiet, watching how Ann breathed with increasing difficulty.
Alison was surprised when, instead of a sarcastic comment, all she could find in her mind were words of comfort. The girl was trying to fix whatever she had done wrong and that guy kept pushing her away, every time more aggressively. The blonde didn't used to feel any kind of sympathy for people like Ann, actually, she had felt something like hate towards her till the day before, but in that moment, she wanted to help her.
- Look who comes around! – Someone exclaimed, breaking the awkward silence that had been generated, taking away the attention from Ann's glassy eyes and turning it to a redhead that was approaching their table, with a huge smile dressing her lips.
She was tall, though perhaps her heels had something to do with it. She was wearing tight black pants and a white shirt covered by a leather jacket, she looked like a rock star. The black sunglasses and the bright red hair falling over her shoulders emphasized the pallor of her face. In an instant the whole table was filled with cheers and applauses and the girl pretended to bow for them.
- Hello everyone! Did you miss me? – She removed the sunglasses, rebelling a pair of very green eyes. Then she began to greet all the guests, one by one.
- Who is she? – Alison asked to John, she hadn't seen that kind of reception in her life.
- She's Heather.
The girl went through the table until she reached them.
- Hello stranger. – John greeted her, and Heather kissed his cheek.
- It feels good to be back at home, I really wanted to see you all. – She raised her eyebrows at Alison and opened her mouth, probably to ask who she was, but then she looked at Ann and saw the empty seat beside her. – Where is Bruce?
The other girl got up from the table, suddenly, and went into the toilets, one hand covering her face. Those people were too emotional.
- What did happen this time? – Heather asked.
- Nobody knows. – John answered.