For a moment the doctors had shuffled Sam and Mike out, promising to let them back in to see Danny after they were done checking him out. Mike made a point to tell them that Danny's eyes had been blue before he'd gone into the coma and they made a point to give the twenty years old an odd stare. So there he and Sam were waiting outside the door together staring each other in the eyes.

"Did you see-" Sam began but stopped short when he nodded.

Mike pulled out his cell phone and began dialing the numbers he'd familiarized himself with he paused as he was about to hit the send button to make the call. "Look Sam, we need to be sensitive, I know it's all really overwhelming but Danny needs our support." He started at the number pattern on the screen of his cell phone. "Jazz does too."

The phone was ringing and ringing, he prayed she wouldn't ignore him but he couldn't imagine her being that petty. Finally there was a click and an exhausted or perhaps sad voice on the other end uttering a fractured greeting; he bet she didn't even look at the caller i.d.

"Jazz...it's Mike. Danny woke up." He announced quickly.

"Mike it's eight, visiting hours are ending, even if I jumped up and left now I couldn't stay."

"Special permission." Mike offered then looked to Sam who was now sitting on the floor her head leaned against the wall. "Danny...he's going to need you. Lord knows Sam and I aren't going to be enough and I imagine he's going to be unstable."

There was a long pause so much that Mike checked his phone to make sure that she hadn't hung up on him. It made him shift nervously and made him bite his lip because as strong and composed as he liked to be he was scared, taking care of someone like that was a big responsibility.

Finally she sighed. "Alright, I'll come."

Mike hung up and looked to Sam again who was slowly huddling into a tight ball on the floor he slid down beside her and patted her shoulder gently. Sam didn't glance his way she continued to stare empty eyed at the wall her face devoid of any emotion. The older man sighed and played with the fabric on his jeans.

"I think it's my fault..." Sam murmured and caught his eye. "I gave him the means to do it and my returning to his life wasn't exactly a warm reunion, I don't think I made things easier."

"I don't think you made it worse. I wish we'd seen the signs before this, I wish there was something we could've done before things got this far, but we should just be grateful we get the second chance to make things alright."

The two stared at each other thoughtfully then were interrupted by the door swinging open. The doctor seemed slightly caught off guard to find them sitting on the floor so reluctantly they stood up. He looked at the two strange and haggard young adults and offered them a sympathetic smile.

"He appears stable but only physically; he's going to need a lot of support." He said softly. "We'd like to notify the parents do you have their information?"

"No, he doesn't have any parents." Mike answered. "His sister Jazz and I take care of him."

The man look slightly perturbed but nodded in understanding. "Well I suggest you talk with him." He offered and gesticulated toward the door offering for the two to go in and do as the doctor suggested.

Mike and Sam walked back into the room and noticed a pair of green eyes following their movements. The older boy was the first to approach the bedside and he looked down at the fragile looking body. The unfamiliar eyes looked up at him and the boy gave an annoyed sigh, he knew he was in trouble.

His eyes darted away as he caught a glimpse of a scared and sad looking Sam hiding behind the taller person, she gave a sideways concerned glimpse over his shoulder. Danny tensed his nerves and prepared for an unpleasant conversation because he knew why he was here and he knew what they thought.

"Six minutes down…" Mike announced quietly looking at the boy. "That's six minutes we were without you. Do you remember anything?"

"Not since I was back at the apartment…everything after I took the pills isn't anything to me." Danny paused. "So I died huh?"

"Do you have to be so casual about it?" Sam asked unnerved as she stepped out from behind Mike. "That's not okay, you were dead Danny. Dead. Six minutes is too long and it's nothing to be so careless about."

Mike, in any other situation, might've told the girl to ease off but he fully agreed with her. The way Danny spoke of his condition was so relaxed it was terrifying; as if he didn't care who he had hurt or almost left behind. It didn't help anymore that his eyes were now a strange foreign green that seemed to reflect oblivion.

"Danny this isn't a joke to any of us and it shouldn't be for you." Mike scolded in a soft tone but that normal composed almost zen way he had of talking was leaving him. "Don't you have an idea of the drastic impact this has had on us all? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"My bad...?" Danny offered with a shrug and sheepish grin.

"Danny!" Sam screeched flinging her hands up in exasperation. "What is your problem? We've worried about you every hour of the day and the minute we all want to really talk you act like a complete jack ass!"

"Ugh I'm tired of being so solemn and resigned. The only mistake I made was not taking enough to kill me before you found me. I regret nothing."

The older boy was considerably flustered and the shocked look on his face was enough to make Danny's stomach recoil. Sam was a different story and was hardly the one to contain any feeling of frustration inside and she predictably didn't. Danny could handle that sort of reaction, he expected it really, it was the inner disapproval and disappointment that was so unnerving.

Sam gasped and tears sprung to her eyes. "So…everything means nothing to you? We mean nothing to you…I mean nothing?" She asked her voice cracking from tears. "I think I'm going to be sick, I can't look at you!"

The girl turned on her heels and left holding her hand to her mouth as tears streaked down her face. Mike simply stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked over to the seat propped at the bedside and sat in the cold plastic chair. His brown eyes stared steadily into the empty green irises.

"Harsh." Mike announced. "You really don't understand what you've done?"

"No…I do…I really fucking do." Danny returned in a hoarse and dark voice. "Why wouldn't I? I knew exactly what I was doing what I would cause, but I hadn't meant to survive. But I hate regrets more than apologies."

Mike released a sigh and his eyes were half lidded a sign that he was almost falling into meditation to clear his mind. He often meditated when he was stressed or exhausted or growing sick. Danny tightened his hands into almost fists not because he was aiming to fight but because he was scared, it was time to hone up to what he had done.

"So…suicide huh? The great egress right? Danny…I can't lose you maybe I've never told you that you're a greater part of my life. Maybe there's no way to word that can express your worth. But Danny when I think about the future for me and Jazz, I include you indefinitely."

"I know…God…I know." Danny lowered his head. "I don't want you to include me; I don't want to be stuck forever in other people's lives. I only want you both to have your own lives, separate from me. But there's no way to separate myself from you both in life…"

"Oh Danny…you don't understand. Jazz and I don't want to distill you. Losing someone you care about is the worst feeling in the world I know."

"It wasn't anything personal." Danny said quietly.

Mike gave off a bitter sort of laugh. "Whether you meant to hurt us or not, it was going to be taken personally. Regardless of your motives."

"Look, it physically hurts to be alive. You talk about that girl who died and all that devastating past-stuff, but Mike you may have been ravaged mentally but you never had to deal with it physically too. You'd be depressed but you could get up and walk around outside in the world, I can't do that; even if I feel okay I can't do that. My entire life is based around surviving but I'm so sick of surviving, that isn't living."

Danny paused and looked solemnly forward. "And I'd be okay as long as I could breathe fresh air."

The older boy was silent his contemplative brown eyes met with the desperate green ones the first sign of life he'd seen in them since they'd been revealed. There was something to what Danny was saying and he understood completely but then he'd always understood the boy more then he cared to admit.

"I've tried to kill myself before you know?" He announced looking at the younger boy steadily.

"No you didn't." Danny denied quickly, Mike was sort of a hero of his how could he emulate someone who was just as pathetic as he is now. Mike had to be the one who was strongest through it all, the one who overcame it with strength and dignity.

"Come on Danny, you think I was always as strong and level-headed as I am now. When she died I wanted to follow, I wanted to follow so bad that Luke literally held me down and screamed at me until I smartened up."

Danny shut his eyes and bowed his head. "I can't live in this box anymore." He breathed not wanting to learn anymore of Mike's story he already had a distinct image in his head from the few words.

Mike looked steadily at the boy. "Look Danny, there's no perfect way to live but just keep an open heart."

----------

"Danny, Mike told me to come in, though I don't think you really want to see me." Sam announced sheepishly as she reentered the room alone.

He looked to her and scanned her every move and gathered immediately that she was that same nervous girl he'd reunited with only months ago. She would never be the Sam Manson he remembered from years prior, it seemed like much from the past had died. "Why would you think that?" He asked softly as she sat beside him.

"Because you tried to kill yourself and I can't help but think that has something to do with my reappearing in your life." She explained meekly.

Danny laughed a little a heavy sort of laugh. "No...Sam you can't blame yourself for this. This has nothing to do with anyone; this was me trying to take the easy way out. I'd never destroy myself to spite someone; no one should ever do that."

"Why won't you talk to me Danny?" She took his hand. "I know you have Jazz but we used to understand each other intimately, we used to share secrets that we never told anyone else. If you felt that lost why not try using me for once?"

He squeezed her hand gently. "I didn't think of it, again nothing personal, I was tired of talking about it. I still am, I still don't want to."

She sighed and slumped her shoulders loosening her grip on his hand. "You have to...this is what happens when you don't." Her glance stole away to the machine beside them both it was still noisily announcing his life.

"Don't be afraid." He pleaded in a soft voice.

"It's too hard not to be." She returned a few tears falling down her face she broke away as she started to cry. He considered holding her arm or giving her some comfort but he wasn't sure how. She was still strange in her actions, years ago he would've had a natural response to her, but now it was foreign.

"I'm sorry." He admitted. "I hate that, this regret, I hate it. I'm trying to make sense of something or anything so bear with me. I don't know, I'm sorry."

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Don't be sorry, I know we can never take back the past. I think all of us know that. What's been done is done we should focus on now."

"I agree with you but it's kind of funny but..." Danny laughed a light sad laugh. "I don't know what to do now."

She echoed his laughter. "Me neither." The inexplicable laughter didn't seem to phase them somewhere in the shared irony they found lightness.

"Um I don't mean to break the mood," Sam stuttered and shifted uneasily pushing he knees together and wringing her hands. "But Jazz just arrived and...I'm sure she needs to talk with you."

Danny let loose a heavy sigh. "I suppose she has to." He responded.

"She loves you Danny." Sam offered gently as she patted his hand.

He looked to the darkly dressed pale girl with an uneasy look. "I don't see how she still could."

-----------------

Jazz stood quietly facing the window and holding her elbows in each arm, behind her was the hospital bed where she knew her brother was watching her from. She could feel his eyes staring at the back of her head never wavering. She knew he was waiting for her to say something, preferably comforting, but she couldn't seem to get the fork from her tongue.

More silence passed as she stared out at the cold gray sky which seemed just as quiet save for the portending of the dark clouds. The only sound was the steady beeping of the machine which made a stale almost hallowed sound in their quiet room, a dreadful reminder that she was not alone and that she was in the last place she wanted to be.

"Jazz…" Danny murmured pathetically as he searched for the words to give her. "Jazz…I-I don't know…what to say."

A span of a few minutes felt like an eternity for the teenager it was unbearable. Would she ever speak to him? He couldn't have messed up so badly to actually spite the only person in the world that never stopped loving him. He'd felt completely confident talking with the others but he only cared what she thought of him because she was the only person who mattered to him.

"I don't think I have anything to say to you." She said flatly no real emotion apparent in her voice. "What you did…what you did." She stopped abruptly.

She shook the rage was rising once more and she didn't feel like she had the control to be leveled with him. Jazz wasn't going to be able to stay calm and face this in a mature manner. So Danny took it upon himself to do the talking sensing his sister didn't have the mind to.

"It wasn't supposed to happen this way." She still kept her back to him but he continued. "I didn't do this to end up here…I wasn't supposed to end up anywhere it was just to be…gone. I'm a burden Jazz; don't think I don't know it. I'm stopping you from having a life of your own."

"Where should you be now? You should be acing through school, getting your degree, working a real job, getting ready to be married. All these things…I've stolen them, all your dreams have yielded to me. You were the one that was supposed to achieve greatness with all your limitless talents. I'm wasting your life."

Jazz turned and walked over to the bed and stared into his blue eyes with her own. "Don't you dare." She shook tears finally finding their way to her eyes. "Don't you see Danny? You are my life." She cried. "I can't believe you'd try to kill that. You're the only thing that matters to me in this life Danny." She hid her face in her hands trying not to let him see her cry, they'd both seen that too much.

Danny watched as she turned her face away choking down any sort of sob that was building up in her throat. He began nervously biting his lip he wasn't so dense that he didn't know he mattered, he just wasn't sure how to relate to her feelings. He didn't know how to comfort her because he never could console himself which was why he was in this situation in the first place.

He kept telling himself he'd swallowed every pill to liberate Jazz of burden she never should've had to carry. He kept saying he was sacrificing his life in exchange for a good one for her. But somewhere deep down he knew the other reasons, that he was a coward, that he couldn't hold himself together so he let himself fall apart. Danny wanted so bad to believe that he wasn't so selfish.

Still as he lied in the hospital bed with his sister crying beside him all he wanted was to die. He stared forward wordless knowing this drastic urge would take some time to find its weight.

Jazz shifted weakly and pulled herself together wiping the last remnant of proof that she'd just been crying and looked at him. "You can come home in seven days." She announced softly.

He looked at her and bit back tears in his eyes. "What?" He responded in a quiet almost toneless voice. "Why seven days?"

She quickly put hand over his now clenching fist to pacify him. "You're alright; they say you'll make a fine recovery. It's just... Danny you did attempt suicide, they need to keep you in the psychiatric ward to...watch you. You'll need to tell them everything Danny, respect them, and try Danny, for me?"

Danny swallowed hard and rested a hand over his stomach to try and keep it from revolting against him. He felt sick, like he had plenty of times before, still the guilt was slowly weighing down on him. "Jazz-" He began but he heard himself and realized how feeble and pathetic he sounded and recognized that the voice matched the person. Tears sprung to his eyes and he felt his composure collapsing beneath him and try as he might he couldn't seem to get a grip.

Jazz sensed it and all the animosity she'd been holding over his head suddenly melted away with the now apparent tears forming in the corner of his sickening green colored eyes. There was familiarity in them now, now that she could see her little brother acting like she knew him. And she remembered now who they were, they were together against the worl that had left them to a despondent life.

Jazz moved forward and sat beside him on the bed she took his hand. "It's alright Danny." He clutched back and dropped his head to shield his face, he felt awful and all he wanted to do was break. She gave him a squeeze and felt him tighten his grip in response.

"It's not." He returned his tone carrying an air of understanding.

She sighed and smiled as best as she could while using her free hand to lift his chin up and meet eyes with him, they were unearthly nearly insubstantial, still she could recognize her Danny somewhere beneath the unfriendly green. "I know, but things will change."

"Are we gonna be okay Jazz?" He asked in a meek torn up voice.

His green eyes gazed steadfastly into her turquoise eyes there was such a distance between them now, the new color was just another reminder. Now there was a problem to face, it felt new but in reality it was something very old that had finally been expressed. Jazz couldn't wrap her mind around it completely, because this whole time she'd believed they'd been fighting off mortality together when he was secretly striving for death.

Worse still was that he almost got exactly what he wanted and was still not satisfied.

She breathed deeply and gave his hand a nervous squeeze; she was at a loss for words. "I don't know."

Ughhh updating...I'm bad at that.