Chapter Ten

Mary Cooper had turned up at the apartment first, clutching a bag of gifts. She had deposited them under the tree which Leonard had insisted putting up a few weeks ago. It was only a small tree and not a real one, which was a relief, but Sheldon still found that it made him uncomfortable.

Plastic fumes were poisonous, so although this tree would not catch fire easily, if it did catch fire the effects could be much worse. He wished that he had thought to make a section on holidays in the roommate agreement. That would solve problems such as the Christmas tree, the Easter-eggs-hidden-in-his-comic-book-collection and the attempt at a birthday cake by Penny last year.

Why did humans feel the need to celebrate the earth being in the same position relative to the sun as it was on the day that they were born? It was confusing.. And they expected him to give birthday presents, despite his efforts to opt out of the convention. Apparently it defied social convention to attempt to opt out of some of the occasions.

No longer laboured with gifts, Mary embraced Sheldon, who awkwardly tried wrapping his arms around her back. How long was one supposed to keep hugging for? He had asked Penny once before and she had just laughed and said for as long as it felt comfortable. It hadn't felt comfortable at the start of the hug.

Sheldon decided on a slow count to three before letting go. It seemed to be around the right amount of time. Well that was one social rule that he had learned today and hit it quite quickly, despite using a trial and error method. George and Missy weren't carrying gifts, he supposed that any of theirs were in the bag that his mother carried in.

They decided to wait for Penny, Raj, Howard and Beverly to come. Sheldon was confused. Normally Beverly was very prompt, although maybe she was just being practical. Once he had mentioned Penny's threats to punch him in the throat should he wake her before eleven.

Howard and Raj came in quite early, both bearing gifts. Sheldon scanned the labels. Thankfully, there were no gifts for him in that pile. Sheldon wasn't even sure why Howard celebrated Christmas. He was Jewish, Christmas shouldn't mean anything to him. That said, Leonard was agnostic and celebrated Christmas. Penny hadn't shown many Christian tendencies- she definitely didn't go to church at ten am on a Sunday- and she used Christmas as an excuse to get drunk.

At last, Beverly, Jacob and Penny came into the room together. Jacob looked slightly discombobulated. Sheldon supposed that it was the effect of Beverly, she did tend to confuse those of lesser intelligence. Oh to have a mother like her. Wait.. Was Beverly carrying a gift?

Sheldon had had his eyes tested only two weeks ago and the optician told him his vision was fine. So why was Beverly carrying a carefully wrapped present in generic white paper with reindeer? Please let it not be for him. He had thought that he was safe from social convention with her. She was one of his more valued friends, he didn't want to disappoint her.

Inwardly he was hyperventilating; outwardly his face showed nothing. Wait.. Was that.. Phew, the gift was not for him. No, the card had Leonard written neatly on the front. It was Leonard who fell prey to the trap of gift-giving, not Sheldon this year. Well, hopefully not. Perhaps Penny had bought something as wonderful as Leonard Nimoy DNA again.

Beverly set her gift down in front of Leonard, who looked almost as confused as Sheldon felt. "It's for you Leonard. Open it."

"Mother?" Leonard asked doubtfully. "I thought that you didn't give gifts."

"I've decided to. It isn't useful for items which can easily be bought from the shops, but this is different. Open it."

Leonard shrugged and peeled back the wrapping paper. Why had his mother bought him a present? He knew her stance on gift-giving well from their past Christmases.. Was this a trick? No, his mother wasn't the type of person who would do something like this for fun. Was it something he'd done, to teach him a lesson.. His mother would do that..

He looked down. It was a photo album with the word memories on the front. Leonard cringed slightly. He didn't want Sheldon and the others to find out all of his embarrassing memories. That said, if they wanted to they could just read his mother's book. That compiled them quite nicely with his mother's own personal notes.

Leonard opened the album and looked at the first picture. He was looked about five years old and had a large dog sitting on his chest. Scuffles! Scuffles had always been big compared to him, even as a puppy. No matter what else his mother had done, Leonard had to admit that buying Scuffles for him was nice.. And this photo album seemed to be just the regular kind.

The labels were written neatly in his mother's handwriting. Leonard knew that this wasn't something that had been lying around in the house for ages by the state of the book. She had put this together recently especially for him. Was she trying to make up for the lack of affection when he was a child?

He saw his textbook house next. His mother had to remind him of his five year old curiosity about parts of the brain and his failure to understand them, but the next label softened the blow. The house was well made. She had acknowledged that he had done something well. It made the parts of the brain jab seem almost playful.

Leonard turned over. Him riding Scuffles and Scuffles chasing him up a tree. His eyes started to water. Scuffles was one of his only friends in childhood. And this.. His mother was actually trying to show affection. She must like him somewhat after all to go to this effort.

His brother Michael helping him out of the tree. He didn't know that his mother had taken photos of all of this. Michael was always his mother's favourite, but he didn't flaunt that to Leonard. Michael would always try to help him when he was in trouble. He wiped the moisture away from his eyes.

He turned over the pictures quickly. It wasn't a trick. It wasn't a lesson. His mother was genuinely trying to show that she loved him. And taking all of these pictures.. That showed dedication to him in his childhood. It wasn't just now. Maybe his mother had always liked him and just had trouble showing it.

He noticed the slight jab at his choice in girlfriends, but Leonard could recognise that he was being stupid then. Those girls were shallow and it wasn't even as if they would have had coitus with him- they were only fifteen after all. He forgot about that when he saw the pictures of his acceptance letter to Princeton and the pictures of him with school awards.

"Thank you, mother. It's wonderful, I didn't know that you took all of these. And it must have taken you hours to find them all and label them."

"Open the card Leonard. It's easier to express things in writing, I find."

Leonard had almost forgotten about the card. "Of course, mother." He tore open the envelope and pulled out the card. On the surface, it seemed rather plain. A snow scene with holly and robins. It was still a step forward in obeying social convention from his mother though. He opened the card.

Dear Leonard,

I know that I haven't been the best mother for you. I know that I haven't engaged in the feelings/support that you wanted from me. But I also know that I love you, as most mothers feel towards their sons. I know that I have tried to do the best I could for you, even though our needs are different. And I'm sorry that my best wasn't good enough.

Looking over the videos that I have taken over the past few days and judging by your comments and looks to me, I now realise what I have to do as your mother. You have created a group of friends who can support you, and although you have differences you feel happy and comfortable around them. And I want for you to feel the same around me.

I realise that this letter has likely come far too late. But from now on, I promise that I will not put you down unnecessarily. I will tell you what has been happening in my life and I will show an interest in yours. If you ever need advice, I want you to see me as a person you can come to.

In conclusion, I am sorry for what our relationship has been so far. I wish you well in your future endeavours and most importantly, I love you. Merry Christmas.

-Beverly Hofstadter, mother.

If Leonard had felt like crying before at the photo album, he felt like it even more now. This time, he couldn't hold back the tears. Part of him wanted to lash out at her, tell her that one letter and a photo album was not enough to make up for eighteen years of emotional neglect.

But Beverly hadn't tried to make out that it was. She hadn't been forcing herself on him. She had given him an apology and demanded nothing from him; she didn't blame him for what had happened. It was just so unlike her. He felt like she was going to yank the rug out from beneath his feet and put him down for believing that the letter was true.

But she wasn't. She was just sitting there. Her face showed no expressions, but it never did. She had always expressed herself better with words, which was what made her book so insulting. But she hadn't tried to force the language either. It sounded like her, right down to the end which sounded like a conclusion to an essay or a judgement of one of his essays.

Another part of him wanted to seize this opportunity. She had expressed a desire to change the relationship and she had given reasons. Could it all just have been one huge miscommunication of desires and abilities? He knew that it might take her time to get the support and feelings right, but wasn't admitting the first step to changing?

She just seemed so sincere and almost kind. He noticed the unnecessarily when talking about putting him down. The most when talking about mothers loving their sons. Small things like that made the card seem so truthful.. That she recognised the constant affirmation wasn't healthy either, that she recognised that not every mother loved their son. That she wasn't trying to be over the top like with trickery, but wanted a longer term healthy relationship.

The second part won over. He wiped the tears from his face and moved towards her. She seemed to flinch slightly and Leonard saw what she meant about her abilities. She was afraid of this too. They were on equal footing. But slowly, she moved towards him as well. He put his arms out and embraced her.

Leonard could feel his mother's arms around his back. It felt stiff and nervous, but a start to something new. "Hold for three seconds," he heard Sheldon whisper to his mother. He knew that Sheldon was only trying to help, in his own odd way, but Leonard felt.. Possessive, he supposed, of his mother.

Sheldon already had a loving mother and also got along very well with his mother. Better than he did and perhaps better than he ever would. But it was a different relationship. Sheldon was her friend. Leonard was her son. Sheldon could keep receiving news about her, talking to her more regularly than he did and all the rest.. As long as Sheldon didn't replace him in her eyes.

"So you forgive me? You're willing to start fresh?" Leonard's mother said, pulling back from the hug.

Three seconds, Leonard thought. She had taken Sheldon's advice. He supposed that she would be basing her interactions with him on Sheldon's now. She had said as much in the letter: "friends who support you and although you have your differences, you feel happy and comfortable around them." His mother was so much like Sheldon that she could have written in the letter: if Sheldon can do this, I can.

"Yes," Leonard replied. "I think so."

xXx-X-xXx

So, Leonard finds out about his mother's change in attitude towards him. What did you think about the present, card and Leonard's reactions? Believable or not? This was the first part of Christmas, the next part will probably be much more light-hearted with Sheldon opening presents from Penny and his mother and maybe Penny's and Jacob's gift exchange.

-MoonOfPluto