She watched through the one-sided glass as the doctors administered more medication to Emma. Alexei had called, informing her that Emma was doing better, but was still sedated until she had been determined to not be a threat to herself. She watched the nurse leave, then knocked on the door gently before entering.
"Livia," Emma asked, looking up at her.
"Hey," she said, smiling as she sat down. "How're you doing?"
"Better," she said, giving her a half smile. It was the first smile Olivia had seen since the attack. "How's Elliot?"
"He's good. I'm meeting him in half an hour. He sends his best," Olivia said, smiling back at her.
"Alex said I can go back to my old room tomorrow," Emma said. "He's coming tomorrow to determine my mental status."
"Congratulations," Olivia said. "I actually came by to talk to you about your room. I did some searching yesterday and found a tape player hidden in the ceiling. When we played it, it was designed to put someone in a trance, you know, like you could be hypnotized."
"Why would someone hypnotize me," Emma asked.
"I don't know. But, it does support the fact that you didn't try to kill yourself," Olivia said. "Em, I've talked with Huang and Alex. You're going to come stay with me for awhile."
"Really," the teenager asked, her face lighting up. "Why?"
"Because I don't want something like this to happen again," she said, taking her hand in hers. "But, since you will be out of the hospital, I need you to understand a few things. I have to work during the day, which means that you will be at my apartment alone. A nurse will come by and make sure you are taking your meds and a tutor will come by and help you with your studies. Dr. Huang will also be by everyday to meet with you."
"How long?"
"Until we can get this case figured out," Olivia said. "Emma, I need…in order for this to work, I need to know that you'll be okay. I know about the depression and I know about the schizophrenia, but I need to know that you will tell me if any of that begins to get worse. Can you do that?"
"Yeah," she said, nodding her head.
"Alright," Olivia said, "I have to get back to the station, but I will be back here tonight, to get you and take you to my place."
"Am I ready to be released," Emma asked, "It hasn't been that long since…" Her eyes drifted down to the cuts on her arm.
"You'll be fine. I wouldn't take you out of here so quickly if I thought it'd harm you. I can help change the bandages on your arms and a nurse will be with you most of the day," Olivia explained. She saw the uneasiness in Emma's eyes and touched her hand gently. "It'll be okay. I promise."
Emma nodded, suddenly feeling drowsy from the sedative. "Go to sleep," Olivia said gently. "I'll be back before you know it." Emma nodded, her eyes fluttering shut until finally, she was sound asleep.
Olivia walked into the station and caught Elliot's eye. He motioned to the stairs and she followed him out to the roof. "How was Emma," he asked, leaning against the rail.
"Fine," she said, "She's coming home with me tonight."
"You going to be able to care for her," he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Between the nurse coming to administer meds, Huang evaluating her psychiatric state, her tutor helping her catch up on her classes, she won't ever be alone," she explained.
"Good," he said, "Liv, what if we had her put under hypnosis?"
"Hypnosis? Why," she asked, walking over to him.
"It might help her remember what's been happening when she's been hypnotized in the past," he said. "It might help us know who's been doing this to her."
"El, if we put her through that, it could break her," Olivia said, her voice full of concern.
"And if we don't do it, it could kill her," he said. "Talk to her, see if she'll agree."
"She asked about you today."
"Why?" He studied her for a moment, his eyes meeting hers.
"Just said to say 'hi'. Shows she remembers and trusts you," she said, shrugging her shoulder.
"Lizzie and I are going to the zoo tomorrow. You think Emma would be up for that," he asked.
"I don't know. She gets frightened in public. I think it's been awhile since she's been around a lot of people. I talk to her though and see what she thinks," Olivia said. He smiled and nodded, squeezing her shoulder before heading downstairs.
Emma was sitting up on the bed, dressed in a pair of scrubs too large for her small frame and a large sweatshirt. They had stopped sedating her and the medication had started to wear off, but she was still bleary eyed when Olivia arrived.
"You ready to go," Olivia asked, shouldering the small bag the nurse had given her.
"Yeah," Emma said, standing up. Olivia held her hand out and Emma took it, holding tight.
"Are you hungry," Olivia asked as they walked out of the hospital.
"A little. The meds made me feel sick," Emma responded.
"Let's get you some soup and take it home to eat," Olivia said, rubbing her back gently.
Emma sat at the kitchen table, the bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of her. "C'me on Em, at least eat half," Olivia said softly. "It'll help you feel better to get something in your stomach."
"Okay," she muttered, taking another bite. "Will you be okay to sleep in the living room? The couch can pull out to a bed."
"That works for me," Emma said.
"My room's just down the hall. I'll have my door open, if you need anything. The nurse will be here first thing Monday morning. I'm taking the morning off on Monday to help you get situated with her," she said.
"You don't have to stay with me," Emma said.
"Em, I want to make sure you are comfortable with this nurse. If you're not, we'll find another one. Alex signed you into my care and I am going to make sure you get that care. And don't think for any instant that you are a burden, because you're not. Understand," Olivia asked, meeting the girl's eyes.
She nodded, pushing away the soup. "I'm sorry I can't eat more. I managed to eat at least half," Emma said, looking up at her guiltily.
"It's okay," she said, trying to reassure the teenager. "You ate as much as you could. You want to get a shower, then we can get you your nightly meds and change those bandages?"
"Okay," Emma said, getting up. She headed for the bathroom and after Olivia heard the shower turn on, she began to clean up the dishes.
Fifteen minutes later, she stepped out, her hair hanging in wet curls and wearing the same scrub pants and an oversized shirt. "You ready for me to wrap your bandages," Olivia asked, walking over to the couch with the bandages and medicine she had been given. She handed Emma the pills to take, along with a bottle of orange juice.
Olivia reached for her hand and she pulled it away, cradling it to her chest. "Emma, you didn't cause those scars and I won't judge you because of them," Olivia said. "Trust me, remember?"
Emma nodded and held out her wrists, the scars pointing up. Olivia had seen scars before, but seeing them on a teenager who had done nothing to deserve them stabbed deep at her heart. The scars were three inches long, with thick v-shaped stitches running down along bruised arms. She shook aside the tremor that threatened to run through her body and began to apply the medication the doctors had said would help prevent infection. She then wrapped the gauze around each arm, securing it tightly.
"Better," Olivia asked, brushing the hair from Emma's face. The teenager nodded, pulling her wrists away and cradling them against her chest. "Go brush your teeth. I'll make the bed up for you."
Emma nodded and went to the bathroom as told. When she returned, Olivia had the bed pulled out and made up, a pillow on the bed. Emma lay down on the bed, pulling the covers over herself. "Elliot called while you were in the shower. He and his daughter, Kathleen were talking about going to the zoo tomorrow. Are you up for that?" Olivia stretched out beside her, resting her arm around the girl's shoulder.
"I don't do public well," Emma whispered. "I haven't…it's been awhile."
"If me and Elliot are there, you'll be safe," Olivia said gently. "You'd like Lizzie She's your age and really nice."
"Do they have penguins there," Emma asked, looking up at her.
"Yeah, they do."
"Then I want to go."
"Alright," Olivia said, "Get some sleep, so we can meet them in the morning." Emma nodded, turning on her side and closing her eyes. Olivia stayed until the girl had fallen asleep, then went to her own bedroom.
"Emma, are you ready," Olivia called from the bathroom.
"Almost," the teenager replied. Olivia rinsed out her mouth, and walked out to the living room to see Emma wearing tattered jeans and an oversized flannel shirt.
"Looks like you need some new clothes. Let's see what I've got in my closet," Olivia said, motioning for the teenager to follow her.
She pulled out an old NYPD t-shirt she had outgrown and a long sleeved white shirt that fit close. She handed them to Emma, then pushed her towards the bathroom to change before searching through and finding a small green hooded zip-up sweatshirt for her to wear. Emma stepped out, the shirts still large for her small frame, but better fitting than the shirt she had been wearing. She slipped the sweatshirt on and zipped it up just as the doorbell rang.
Olivia answered the door, smiling when she saw Lizzie and Elliot on the other side. "Hi Liv," Lizzie said, reaching out to hug her.
"Hey sweetie," Olivia said, hugging her tight. "Lizzie, I'd like you to meet Emma. She'll be staying with me for awhile."
"It's nice to meet you," Lizzie said cheerfully. "I'm Liz." Olivia raised and eyebrow to Elliot over the teen's name change. He just shrugged and reached out to get the all outside the door.
Liz chattered on while they drove to the zoo, while Emma sat quietly, looking out the window. It'd been so long since she had been out of the hospital and allowed to do something simple, like visit the zoo. They arrived and Emma immediately reached for Olivia, who put her arm around the girl's shoulder and lead her into the zoo.
The day was cool and overcast, leaving the Bronx Zoo not as crowded for a Saturday. Emma loosened her hold on Olivia throughout the day, wandering up to the animals to examine them, but not leaving more than three feet from Olivia or Elliot. "Thanks for suggesting this. She seems to be doing better," Olivia said, walking with Elliot, the girls wandering over to look at the monkeys. Emma clutched a stuffed penguin close to her, a present from Elliot when he saw her eyes light up as they watched the penguins swim in their tank. Liz had a monkey hanging around her neck.
"No problem. The other kids have stuff going on. I was lucky to get Lizzie, or rather Liz, I should say." He snorted, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the railing.
"What's with the name change?" She leaned next to them, giving Emma a reassuring smile as she looked over her shoulder to make sure she was still there.
"Who knows. Probably one of these things she goes through," he said, shrugging. Olivia opened her mouth, stopping when she heard a scream from Liz. She turned, running towards the girls and dropping to her knees next to Emma, who lay still and pale on the ground. "I think she just fainted," Olivia said, pressing her fingers to Emma's neck, relieved when she felt a fast, but strong pulse.
"Honey, what happened," Elliot asked, putting his hands on his daughter's shoulders.
"I…I don't know. One of the monkeys was swinging from branch to branch, then suddenly, all the color drained from her face and she fell," Liz said, her eyes wide as she stared at Emma's prone form.
"Elliot, please," Olivia asked, looking up at him. "Let's get her home." She took the penguin from Emma's arm as he picked her up and carried her to the car.
She winced as she opened her eyes, gasping as she pushed herself up in bed. "Hey," Olivia said, touching her shoulder, "It's okay. You're home now." Emma's eyes darted around the room, finally resting on the older woman's. "It's okay," Olivia repeated again.
Emma slowly caught her breath, then lay down, reaching for the penguin Olivia was holding out to her. "Wanna talk about it," Olivia asked, running a finger through the penguin's soft fur. Emma shook her head, her eyes trained on the stuff animal she clutched to her chest.
"You know, you ought to give this little guy a name," Olivia said, smiling softly at her.
"Moose," Emma said, speaking for the first time since they had left the zoo.
"That's a weird name for a penguin," Olivia teased. "Why Moose?"
"I just like the name," Emma said, shrugging her shoulders.
"Moose it is then," Olivia said.
"Where's Elliot and Liz," Emma asked, her eyes drifting up to hers.
"They went home. Elliot said he'd call later, to see how you were doing," Olivia said.
"I'm sorry I ruined our day," Emma said, her eyes drifting back down to the penguin.
"You didn't ruin it. You think you can talk to me about it?"
"It was the monkeys," she said softly, "They were swinging around on the branches, like he did once. He swung in and landed on the floor. He wore a suit…a white suit."
"Elliot and I know what kind of suit. It was a wind gliding suit. It puffs out to look like wings," Olivia said.
"Yeah, but there was more to it. I…the monkeys reminded me and it brought back a memory, but I…I can't remember what it was," Emma said.
"It's okay," Olivia said, "It's okay." She rubbed her arm gently, calming her again. "Maybe Huang will help you remember on Monday."
"Do I have to talk to him," Emma asked, looking up at her.
"Yeah, honey, you do. It's part of the agreement, remember? It's why you get to stay here, with me," Olivia said. "Honey, there's something...Elliot and I were thinking of asking Huang to hypnotize you, to help you remember."
"No!" She shot off the bed, her eyes wide as she backed herself against the wall. Her chest heaved as tears filled her eyes, her penguin clutched to her chest.
"Emma, honey, calm down and let me explain," Olivia said, reaching out for her.
"But, that's how they…how I was…," she fell down to her knees, locking her arms around her knees and rocking back and forth. "You can't. I'll get hurt. I won't do it."
"It'll help you remember," Olivia said, kneeling in front of her.
"I don't want to remember," Emma whispered. She looked up, tears reflecting bright in her eyes. "I just want to forget everything."
"They hurt you, honey and whoever has done this needs to be punished. If we're able to figure out who did this, we can put them in jail and they won't ever be able to hurt you or anyone again," Olivia said. "I promise no one will hurt you or use this to cause you to harm yourself. Elliot, Huang and I will be there the entire time. People you trust will be there." She took a deep breath, settling herself on the floor across from Olivia.
"Emma, I know this isn't easy and you've been through more than anyone your age should ever have to go through," Olivia said gently. "But if we do this, it'll help us figure out what has happened to you and you can begin to heal. Please Emma, I'm asking you to trust us. Can you do that?"
"You and Elliot will be there," Emma asked, sniffling.
"Every minute," Olivia said, squeezing her arm.
"And we can do it here," Emma asked.
"Yeah, we can do it here."
"Then I'll do it." She looked up, letting Olivia settle next to her and pull her close, pressing a kiss to her hair.
"Thank you," Olivia said gently.