Healing Process

A/N: Thank you all so much for your positive feedback. I know you all are wondering exactly what is going on with Ava and Addison and why Ava hasn't said anything about Mark. I will get to that. But for now I hope this chapter will satisfy you. Thanks again! Enjoy!

Chapter X: World on Fire

Hearts are worn in these dark ages
Youre not alone in these stories pages
The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And Ill try to hold it in
Yeah Ill try to hold it in

Before she had opened her eyes, Ava knew that she had gone too far. She had let herself get angry; too angry and she had said things that she couldn't take back. And then when she opened her eyes the look on her parent's faces told her everything. They looked extremely worried and hurt all at once.

"Ava?" said Derek coming over to her. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine dad," she said.

"Do you have a headache or dizziness?"

"No," she replied as he shined a penlight in her eyes.

"Good."

Ava swallowed hard before she spoke next. She really didn't want to do this, but she had to; it was time.

"I know that what I did was really stupid and I'm sorry that I worried everyone. But I never intended for this to happen. I came here for Quinn because I know that she missed both of you and I wanted her to be happy."

"I'm going to get coffee," Addison said tiredly before getting up to leave.

"Mom wait!"

"No Ava you've said enough. You should rest," Addison said and then left the room.

Ava looked as if she was about to cry but she refrained from doing so. "Go ahead and yell daddy I deserve it," she said sounding defeated.

"Yes you do deserve it," Derek said looking back to her after watching his wife leave. "But I won't," he said perching on the bed. "Ever since you arrived, I've been interrogating you and I'm sorry for that. What you did for your mother and I last night was amazing and I never thanked you for that. So thank you."

"You're welcome."

"It occurred to me that you and I haven't really talked in a long time."

"No, we haven't," she said softly.

"So, will you tell me what's going on?"

Ava hesitated and then opened her mouth to speak before closing it again, "I can't."

"Why not?"

"That's a question better answered by my therapist."

"I'd rather hear your answer."

"I don't have one."

"I think you do." He paused. "There are many people who believe that illness of the body is connected with what is going on in the mind."

"So what are you saying exactly? That I've convinced myself that I'm sick?"

"No, I'm just suggesting that maybe the reason that you are so sick has to do with the fact that you're holding onto something emotionally." He took her hand and showed her the scars on her wrist. "As much as these scare me, they are expressions of how you feel. You need to express yourself Ava. I might not always understand or agree with the way you choose to do that. But what I do know is that whatever is going on inside of you, whatever you're feeling needs to come out."

"Maybe."

"You can't begin to really get better until you let whatever it is go."

"I can't."

"Well, when you're ready, we'll be here," he said getting up and kissing her on the forehead. "Now go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

"No dad, you should go. Both you and mom should go be with Quinn."

"Ava---"

"Dad, I won't go anywhere. I promise."

"Ok then. I'll be back in the morning. Sweet dreams butterfly."

"Good night."

I watch the heavens but I find no calling
Something I can do to change whats coming
Stay close to me while the skys falling
I dont wanna be left alone dont wanna be alone

Addison entered her daughter's room in their new flat an hour later. The hour was late and Quinn was already asleep. She was lying on her side, her face resting on her favorite stuffed monkey, Jojo. Quinn never went anywhere without him since he came to her from Florida when she was three. Ava had gone to the UCA National Championship at age fifteen and brought the toy back for her little sister.

The light beside Quinn's bed was still on illuminating her small face. She looked so angelic in sleep. She had no cares, no worries in the world. Addison crossed to the bed and brushed the stray strands of auburn hair out of her face and kissed her cheek. Quinn stirred and opened her eyes.

"Mommy?" Quinn said her voice thick with sleep.

"Hi baby, I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's ok," she said sitting up with Jojo in her arms.

"I heard that you weren't very good for daddy today."

Quinn put her head down, "No. But he was lying about fighting with you."

Addison frowned, "Fighting about what sweetheart?"

"Me and Ava," Quinn said looking up. "I don't like it when you fight, it makes me scared and it makes Ava sad. That's why Ava wants to go back to New York, so that you won't fight anymore."

"How do you know that?"

"I heard Dr. Grey tell Izzie that Ava ran away because you and daddy were fighting about Aunt Kate. And also because Dr. Grey found something bad under Ava's bed that would make you and daddy mad at her."

"Mad? Why would we get mad at Ava?"

Quinn shrugged, "I don't know. But mommy can you tell Ava I don't want her to leave? I'd miss her too much."

"Aw sweetie, why don't you tell her yourself in the morning? I'm sure she'd love to hear that."

"Ok."

"Do you think Ava is a good big sister?"

Quinn nodded, "She's the best. Ava took care of me a lot in New York."

"Really? What did she do with you?"

"She helped me with my homework, read me stories and packed my lunches for school. Ava is reading me the first Harry Potter book and she can do all the voices with a British accent."

"How cool."

"Aunt Carrie took care of me too, but she didn't know all of the things that you did for me. Ava did though. And Ava also let me watch her dance!"

"Did she?"

"Yep and in front of lots of people too! She got to be the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker because the other one was sick. Ava looked really pretty Mommy! She dances really good and she looked so happy onstage. I wish you could have seen it."

"I wish I could have seen it too sweetheart. I wish Ava would have told me."

"She tried to, but you weren't answering your phone."

"Oh." Addison paused. "You should go back to sleep, it's late."

"Ok Mama," said Quinn yawning as she slid back under the covers.

"Goodnight," Addison said kissing her forehead.

"Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you too," she said before switching off the light and closing the door.

Hearts break hearts mend love still hurts
Visions clash planes crash still theres talk of
saving souls still colds closing in on us

"How are you?" Derek asked as Addison got into bed.

"I feel guilty Derek, that's how I am," Addison said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You have nothing to feel guilty for."

"I missed a defining moment in Ava's life and so did you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ava danced the Sugar Plum Fairy."

"When?"

"When the actual one was too ill to perform, Quinn told me because she was there."

"Ava should have told us."

"She couldn't reach us Derek."

"Addie, what is over is over. There is nothing we can do now."

"But if I had been there, Ava wouldn't have said what she did."

"Addie, honey Ava is angry and she has every right to be at us."

"I know but---But I don't want to be the bad guy anymore Derek. I'm done."

"Addie—"

"Derek when I came here, I bore your insults and your hatred. I deserved everything you threw at me. But I don't know if I can take Ava's anger. The way she looked at me today was the same way she looked at Kate. I can't handle that…"

"I know you don't want to be the object of Ava's anger. But she's wound up so tight that she's making herself sick. She let me have it, now it's your turn."

"Well that's because you make yourself an easy target."

"I do not."

"I hate to break it to you, but you do."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"I'm going to sleep."

"Fine."

"I love you Addie."

"I love you too Derek."

We part the veil on our killer sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take the less we become
The fortune of one man means less for some

Xavier Manoso entered Ava's room and felt his stomach clench at the sight of Ava lying in bed looking to fragile. He crossed over to her immediately and kissed her softly. She stirred when his lips met hers and slowly opened her eyes.

"Xavier?" she whispered.

"Hi Gabby," he said kissing her again and she smiled up at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Someone named Meredith called me and told me you were sick."

"And you flew 3,000 miles just to see me."

"I did."

"I'm glad you're here. Everything is a mess."

"Why?"

"My parents are fighting, my mom is mad at me, and I'm here when I should be in New York…I'm missing school---"

"Hey, slow down. Everything is going to be ok Gabby," he said getting onto the bed and pulling her into his arms."

"No it's not. It's all my fault," she whispered. Silent tears rolling down her cheeks."

"Don't cry my darling," he said kissing her face gently. "There is no need for tears. Relax."

"I can't."

"Yes you can," he whispered kissing her lips softly. "Let go Gabby. Let the world go and place your trust in me. Relax," he said rubbing her back up and down gently.

"Xavier…"

"Don't talk Gabby, just feel. Don't think, just let go," he said kissing her again and a few seconds later she started to respond.

It was at that moment that the world and everything in it ceased to exist and only then did Ava let herself lose control.

The worlds on fire its more then I can handle
Ill tap into the water try and bring my share
Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able

Lyrics- "World on Fire" Sarah McLachlan

R/R Please!