There and Back Again

9

If Danny had expected an uproar over the news that he'd watched everyone important in his life murdered, then he was sadly mistaken in what would happen. He supposed, as he watched them carefully through hooded eyes, that he should be thankful that they were all taking it so well. It was a good omen (he told himself) for what would happen when he confessed the other half of that most painful knowledge. But that, if he could get away with it, didn't have to be confessed right now. Instead, right now, he could watch them and see if he needed to worry. He expected that being told of one's impending death, no matter that it had already happened and then unhappened, was disturbing to say the least.

But no one said anything, not even Clockwork. Not that Danny expected the other ghost to say anything yet. They'd both known for years that this explanation would come sooner or late, and even if it was much sooner than Danny had planned for, Clockwork still was willing to let Danny take the lead for now. No doubt that when Danny started butchering the paradox theories, Clockwork would float right in and correct him every five seconds.

"The fight where Sam," and Danny's eyes flickered to her again, "saw me disappear, that was when Clockwork took me. He told me what was happening, told me what needed to be done. I stayed here for a year, maybe a little more, before going back. The second I came back—time changed as you know it."

Jazz leaned forward, ready to assault Danny with questions, but Danny shook his head. "Technically it changed before then. When Clockwork took me, he was changing something that had happened in the timeline as it should have happened then. I'd be dead if he hadn't." He grimaced a little and leaned forward himself, elbows on his knees, not looking anywhere but the floor. "There was a me that died, in the timeline that should have happened, but instead there were two of me here."

"One alive, me, "and Danny looked up with a self depreciating smile. "And another one, one that was dead."

"I died in that fight, the other Sam, the one in the timeline that Clockwork allowed to play out for all of those years with me in it, she watched me die, and then she watched me disappear. For that entire year that I was gone there was no doubt in anyone's mind that I was dead." And again Danny's eyes found Sam, this time unable to break away. "It changed her, it changed all of you, and Mom and Dad too. I know it did because I watched everything in the portal. After the first few weeks I only watched the timeline I was going to jump into. It—"

He stopped dead, his eyes finally tearing themselves away from Sam as he sat back in the chair and rubbed his face. "It hurt too much. I could see how badly you were all hurting, how badly the not knowing made everything. It was easier to not see, to not know. And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. But it had to be done."

"But why did you have to go to there? Then. Whenever," Tucker asked, frowning. He knew that Danny had only just begun with the explanations, and he knew that there were things being kept from them. As much as he respected that telling it was hard for Danny, he didn't really care. He wanted answers and didn't really want to wait anymore. "If you were coming back, why did you have to go there?"

"Because the ghost that was supposed to have killed me was sent by someone. By Vlad," he answered softly. "Vlad was getting ready to mount an all out attempt at me and Mom. And I wasn't ready for it. Clockwork was right about that, I wasn't anywhere near ready. Vlad has twenty years on me, and he's kind of evil."

Strained laugh echoed in the mostly empty room at that and Danny gave a half hearted shrug. "Back then Vlad could do things that I never dreamed of being able to do myself."

This time Jazz didn't stay silent, even as she saw the pleading in Danny's eyes. "Like what?"

He shook his head again and looked away, like what he'd learned to do was something to be ashamed of. "The biggest thing was that Vlad was willing to hurt people who got in the way. I'm not very good at that, but Clockwork was never very insistent on me being able to do that."

Clockwork smiled at his guests, remaining silent as he waited for Danny to continue fumbling his way through his reasoning. He knew that there would be a time to speak, a time when Danny wouldn't be able to. He hadn't told Danny that, he knew the younger ghost was sure that Clockwork would only step in when it was time for enigmatic wisdom—something that Clockwork was very good at—but Clockwork knew better. He bent red eyes on Danny as if to tell him to continue on.

For his part Danny didn't give Clockwork the pointed glare he wanted to. He didn't want to explain it, he'd argued long and hard that Clockwork should be doing it since it was he who rearranged time. But Danny had learned many years ago that arguing with Clockwork was impossible. He knew all of the arguments before they were made, and had an endless stream of memory and wisdom to draw on to manipulate Danny into doing exactly what it was Clockwork wanted done in the first place. And by the time that Danny agreed and did whatever was asked, he was pleased to be able to it.

"The year I was gone changed things enough that Vlad had to rethink his plans and wait. There was a lot of waiting involved because he had to try and figure out where I'd been, what I'd been doing. I was actually really good at hiding what I could do." The smiled on Danny's face was pleased as he said that. "I forced him into waiting it out for a long time, long enough for all of us to really get on with life. We graduated high school—you were the salutatorian, Sam, I was impressed—and get through college. I got married when I was twenty."

Icy blue eyes leveled a blank stare at all three. "I won't say who, and I won't discuss it with anyone, so don't ask. It was…" The glare softened and Danny's eyes found the finger on his left hand that was still unaccustomedly bare. "It was mine, and now it never really happened anyway, so there isn't anything to say about it. Okay?

Danny looked up as he felt a hand touch his shoulder and was surprised to see Clockwork floating next to him. He gave the ghost a nod a before anyone could understand what was happening he blinked out of sight and existence.

"This," Clockwork said as he shifted in a blurring of energy, "is my cue, I believe. You'll have to forgive him," he continued on a little softer. "This wasn't easy for him, any of it, much less bringing you three here. But it needed to be done, because the timeline where Danny died was not supposed to have happened."

"That is privileged information, children," the ancient time ghost said as he waved his staff in the middle of the group and a wavering sphere of energy grew as he did. A picture formed inside, and it showed a much younger Danny, barely older than when he had left, fighting against Plasmius. And losing.

"In true time, Danny would have died in this battle."

Tucker and Jazz both gasped as the Danny in battle was surrounded by too many Plasmius' to count and the bluish energy suddenly took on a violent red haze as all of them attacked at once. As the glow died it was easy to see the broken and bleeding form of Danny Fenton plummeting to the ground. When it hit Sam cried out and turned her face away, a hand to her mouth and her eyes closed. Tucker and Jazz watched, eyes wide and unbelieving as they themselves appeared beneath the still floating, and obviously gloating, Plasmius. The window to the past closed abruptly and three sets of eyes swiveled to Clockwork.

"You saved his life," Sam said softly, trying to decide whether she should hate the ghost for putting them, all of them through this hell, or grateful for him having saved Danny's life.

Clockwork nodded. "I did, and broke the timeline when I did so. But Daniel is my responsibility, as much from the Observant's orders, as from my own conscience." He lowered his staff and floated back into his chair. "There is a great deal that Daniel doesn't know, and that he'll find out before too terribly long. He'll need his friends then to help him preserve his own sanity as much as to help him with what he must do."

Clockwork let his staff lean against the chair, one hand absently caressing it as he held it. "While he was there he had to do a great many things that he didn't want to do, no matter that he would have done them in this timeline. One of them was to carry on like nothing had every happened. School, marriage, a job. The only thing that I did not ask of him was children. He would have refused outright, and for good reason. Everything in that other time no longer existed. Ever."

"That's a paradox," Jazz and Tucker both said abruptly, then glancing at each other with faint grins at what they'd done.

Clockwork nodded. "It is, in as much as Daniel returned to this time with things that he'd possessed in that time. When he came back here everything there ceased to exist. All of it; family, friends, lovers, because all of those would now be replaced in this time. It isn't parallel universes, you're correct in that assumption as to paradox. It is, most simply, the subtle machinations to ensure that time moves along the best and most safe route."

Sam raised her hand to her mouth, finally rejoining the conversation. "That's why you're doing this, to make is a better future. Like when you changed that other future."

"Exactly so, and I'll do it every chance that I can get," Clockwork answered without remorse. "A ghost I may be, but I still exist, and if I can change it, I choose not to live in a world that is filled with nothing but pain and sorrow and evil." He looked down and at his staff, a smirk playing across his lips as he shifted again. "And since Daniel has already lived paradox, it was easiest to let him play that role again. I asked, he answered, and now he has returned with his task still at hand."

Clockwork paused and considered his next words. "He'll need all of you very badly. The future is not set in stone, no matter what some would like to believe. I've done the best I can to help Daniel be ready for what is coming and what he has to do, but murder isn't something he is skilled at, and even knowing that it is the inevitable outcome to this battle, he doesn't want to."

Jazz bit her lip. "He has to kill Vlad, doesn't he? That's why you let him live in a parallel timeline, so that he could grow enough to be able to do it."

"Not just to be able to do it, Jasmine; murder can be done in cold blood and underhandedly," Clockwork pointed out. "It would be terribly easy for Daniel to simply kill Vlad with no warning. Vlad Masters' powers do not include the ability to sense ghosts in his presence or even vicinity."

Tucker gave a small snort. "Danny'd never even think of killing Vlad like that."

"I have," Sam muttered, and looked away from the glances sent her way by Tucker and Jazz both.

Clockwork smiled as his form shifted again, the look surprisingly feral on his face. "You've always been the most pragmatic person in his life," he said to Sam with no repudiation.

"It'd kill Danny if he did that," continued on once Clockwork was silent. "So you've been letting him train and gain power so he can take Vlad out in a straight fight."

"And he still doesn't want to do it," Danny said into the quiet from behind Sam, his ghost form floating absently in and his face much more relaxed than when he'd left. "I don't kill. I'm supposed to be the good guy, and that doesn't mean killing someone."

"Good guys are all about the greater good," Tucker told Danny, shifting where he sat so he could face the ghost. "And Vlad's death contributes to the greater good, Danny."

Danny snorted but didn't say anything as he dropped to the ground and shifted back to human, rolling his neck as he did. All three winced at the loud pops that echoed as his vertebrae each snapped and Sam faked a gag, making Danny chuckle a little. "Sorry," he offered before dropping back into his chair.

His eyes shifted over the three before finding Clockwork and asking the older ghost, "Did you tell them?"

Clockwork shook his head. "There's just the one thing for you to tell. They'll understand."

Danny glared darkly. "You always leave the fun jobs for me, don't you?"

Clockwork smiled faintly. "I told them what I was supposed to. I never said that I would tell them all of it."

Something that sounded vaguely like a curse came from Danny's mouth as he muttered, but he only sighed and sat back, hands together and fingers steepled as he regarded his friends and sister. "Clockwork told you that there were certain things that I had to do while I was there?" he asked, and when he got three nods in answer he sighed. "I hope you'll believe me when I say that it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I think that the only thing that was ever worse was coming back here." He stopped, not explaining the statement, hoping that he would never have to.

With another sigh Danny softly said, "I told you that Vlad murdered you. I didn't tell you that I knew it would happen long before it ever did." His eyes lifted, dark and wet before he rubbed them, then looked at Sam and Jazz and Tucker again. "It was one of the things I had to let happen, so that Vlad would never play his strongest cards against me, so that I could live long enough to be able to stop him. To be able to kill him," Danny admitted.

"So you knew we were going to die, and you let us?" Tucker asked.

Danny nodded, looking away, shame and fear and worry screaming from his face.

"Did you know how?" Jazz asked.

Danny nodded again. "I knew when I went that you'd all die. Clockwork told me from the beginning. But when it got closer to the… to the murders, Clockwork would tell me exactly what was going to happen. It was less of a shock that way. He let me make sure that none of you suffered," Danny continued even as he stumbled over that last sentence.

"So you made sure that it didn't hurt? That Mom and Dad died instantly?" Jazz asked, and then reached a hand out towards Danny to touch his arm, trying to reassure him. "I'm not upset or angry, Danny. Clockwork explained a lot, I understand."

He gave her a grateful smile when his eyes finally met hers, and he nodded. "It was instant."

Jazz bit her lip, her blue-green eyes welling with tears that she dashed away with her free hand hurriedly in embarrassment. "I feel like I should be saying thank you. I know it's weird, but I do."

Danny dropped a hand to cover hers. "It's alright, Jazz. I get it. I am a Fenton." He gave her a winning smile that miraculously didn't look forced, and she gave him a watery one right back. "It's a lot to take in, I know."

Jazz nodded and pulled her hand from Danny's as she sought the comfort of the couch, curling up on it in the corner like she did at home. Half of her wished she had one of her books with her so that she could open it, begin reading and, just for a little while, forget about the nightmare that Danny had plunged them all into. That Danny had been plunged into himself. It would be so easy to be angry with him for bringing her into this, for telling her the things he had, to feel justified in saying that if he'd never come back then there never would have been this kind of hurt and sorrow and pain. And yet, at the same time, a greater part of Jazz knew that whatever she was feeling Danny must be feeling it so much worse.

He'd lived through all of the things he said, not just had to hear them spoken of. To know that he'd been forced to watch the people he loved die, one by one, and at an enemy's hands… Worse yet, knowing he couldn't do anything. That was true pain, and Jazz knew that it was the reason for the shadows in the depths of her brother's eyes every time he looked at her, or Sam or Tucker or anyone.

The silence was thick and rich with tension, and only utter self control kept Danny from shifting in his seat as he waited. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for, but he knew that he was waiting. Maybe for the okay from Clockwork saying that enough had been said, shared, and that Danny could take them all back home and find his way to his bed. He could try and find his way to some semblance of peace, sanctuary, the comfort—maybe—of dreams.

But the patience broke before the silence did, and Danny stood, stretched again before glancing at Clockwork. "Alright, if we're done here I think there's a few pizzas with our names on them back at my place." He grinned a little. "Or there will be once we head back and order them." He turned a cocky smile on Clockwork. "Do you think we could work on cell reception in the Ghost Zone sometime?"

Clockwork simply gave a long suffering sigh at the young ghost's attempt at wit.

Danny cocked his head at Sam, Tucker and Jazz. "Come on, let's get out of here. I don't want to be serious anymore."

He held a hand out and Sam rose to take it. The other one was offered and Jazz took it, looping an arm through Tucker's as she tried to give a real smile to her brother. She knew it didn't quite make it as his faltered a little, but it didn't really make much of a difference. Green energy was already flaring and she knew that Danny was activating his medallion.

"Danny, wait," Sam said suddenly, the hiss of ectoenergy loud enough to cover the ticking of clocks and gears that none of them had even realized were there. She looked up at him, purple eyes wide and almost afraid. "H-how did I die?"

Danny tensed next to her, the faint snapping of bone echoing in his ears, screams rising and falling. Red splashed his vision and Danny closed his eyes against it, fighting to forget, fighting with everything he had so that he could never remember what had been done to her. He swallowed, breathed in and out in long deep breaths before he managed to block it out and—nearly—forget what she had looked like dangling from Vlad's grasp moments before—

Stop.

The word was silent and nowhere but his mind. Nevertheless, Danny was grateful for it as he turned dark and somehow empty blue eyes on Sam.

"He broke your neck," he said evenly.

He could see in her eyes that she didn't believe him, but his conscience wouldn't allow him anything else. Better the lie that she knew than the truth that she didn't.

"He broke your neck, I almost killed him, and Clockwork decided that I was ready to come back. That's it, end of story."

Sam opened her mouth to argue but for a moment remember what Danny had said only a little while before. Then you, Sam. Right in front of me. The more she thought about it the more she realized that it would explain his reaction to her question, and Sam closed her mouth and nodded. That was probably why he'd never said it in the first place. It was one thing to admit that you knew before hand how your friends and family died when you weren't there to witness it, but to have actually watched? To have been forced to witness the murder first hand? No, Sam wouldn't ask again.

"Let's go home," Danny said as he turned away from them and towards the glowing green portal that was opening itself behind him.