Jennifer found Teyla in the mess hall. Jen grabbed a cup of hot chocolate, Teyla grabbed a bottle of water, and they went outside to walk a little. And drink their drinks. And look at the ocean. Pretty much anything but talk.

"It is good to see you not in the infirmary, Jennifer," Teyla said kindly.

"The fresh air is nice. I feel like I've been cooped up inside for weeks," Jen replied, looking out at the water.

"And how are you feeling?"

"Better. Ribs hurt less. Conditioning is shot. I have a lot of running to do when they let me," Jen reported.

Then a long silence.

Jennifer continued to look out at nothing in particular. She knew that once she made eye contact with Teyla she would come apart. Which made her think of the myth of Medusa the Gorgon who could turn people to stone with her eyes. Don't look her in the eyes, she thought. Which made Jen giggle. Which made her look around nervously. Which is when she found Teyla looking right at her. With compassion. And questions. Lots of questions.

Stone.

Jennifer froze like a stone.

And then the tears she had battled for the better or worse part of an hour finally fell freely. She sank to the ground on the pier and wrapped her arms around her knees and cried. Teyla came to rest next to her, putting her arms around her friend, and quietly supporting her.

"I'm so afraid."

"You went through something significant, Jennifer. Do not minimize it."

"I'm not minimizing it. The opposite, actually. It's all I can think about. All I can think about is how afraid I am."

"Can you see in your mind what you are afraid of?"

"Everything," Jen replied in frustration.

"Your mind will not be able to process it if you look at all together. You need to break it up into pieces that your mind can comprehend. What are you afraid of?"

"Afraid I'll be too scared to go back. Afraid I'll never be whole again. Afraid to let Ronon look at me," she wept.

"He loves you, Jennifer."

"I know that."

"Then trust him."

"I do trust him," Jen countered.

"Trust him more than you doubt yourself."

That was putting a fine point on it. It was trust in degrees. She trusted no one alive more than she trusted Ronon; every part of her heart and soul and body knew that to be true. But she doubted herself more than she trusted anyone, and it was tearing her apart.

"Trust him to be patient. Trust him to be accepting," Teyla implored.

"He shouldn't have to."

"How is it that in all of your patients you see their scars as remembrances of what they survived, but in yourself you see them as a defect. Do you think he cares?" Teyla challenged.

"No. Yes. I don't know. How could he not?"

"Because he loves all of you," Teyla remaindered her with compassion.

"Maybe I took on too much."

"You are too hard on yourself, Jennifer. In others you praise effort whether it led to success or not, but you give yourself no credit for all that you have undertaken."

"Maybe I'm not cut out to be the Herald of the Ancients," Jennifer said with defeat.

"You are the Herald of the Ancients, whether you want to be or not. Now it is a question of will. What will you be?"

Jennifer rested her head on Teyla's shoulders, carefully considering her words. They sat in silence as the sunset until Jennifer gathered herself and hugged her friend.

"Thank you," Jennifer said sincerely.

"I am always here for you, Jennifer." They touched foreheads together in a moment of gratitude, acceptance and respect. Then Jennifer went to find Ronon.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

The door opened sooner than Ronon expected, and as Jennifer entered their quarters, she found him in the middle of the living room with a small satchel and a large shoulder bag packed. He watched her face change to confusion.

Then he watched her eyes go from his face to the bags and back.

The sudden realization hit him that for a woman dealing with trauma and doubt, finding her husband with his bags packed was likely not a comforting site. He remembered that where she was from, marriage could be a temporary thing. That's why he wanted to be sanctified in his tradition – it had a permanence and strength those from Earth didn't seem to grasp.

He dropped the bags to the ground and took her hands.

"No," he said. "Let me explain."

He led her to the arm chair that sat in their living room. It was her favorite spot to read. It had a foot rest, and as he sat her down on the chair, he sat in front of her on the ottoman and kept her hands in his the whole time.

The uncertainty in her eyes was so raw; so painful to see.

He tried to not question Jennifer on her life with men before Atlantis, but he couldn't help to wonder: what kind of men had she known that she could believe that all that happened to her could change his love? It would make him angry if it was directed at him, but he knew it was doubt in herself. Maybe that made him more angry. Not at her, though. At two universes that had broken her heart.

"Those bags," he stated resolutely. "That is all we need. We are bound by nothing. You want to be a healer? You can be a healer anywhere. You want to do nothing? Everyone needs a service I provide. If you don't want to be the Herald, if you don't want to take that risk, then don't. If they don't like it," he bit, using his head to indicate that everyone else was an outsider at that moment, "then we disappear. The only thing I need is you."

She looked at her feet, and he crooked a finger under her chin and lifted her eyes back to him.

"Now and forever, Jennifer. Forever."

She threw herself into his arms and began to apologize; for not talking to him, for not being ready to deal with what happened, for jumping to conclusions, for being so hard to be with the last week.

"Shhh. You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing."

This is how he knew that however long forever was in their world, that forever is how long they would be together; because a moment alone could always bring them back to equilibrium. She climbed up onto his lap and held him. He brought his arms around her with strength but no force, careful of the healing she still needed to do. She buried her face in his neck and melted into him. It was the most sustaining feeling in this or any world.

He felt her kiss at his neck, and the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. She kissed up his jaw until she found his mouth, and covered it with her own. She rolled her hips on his and his hands began to caress her back. And then his hands slipped under her shirt, and he felt her whole body tense. Removing them and placing one hand on either side of her face he drew her in for a kiss. He lifted her off his lap and put her back on the chair in front of him.

He went to his knees on the floor before her.

"I always want you. But when you're ready. When you feel strong." He kissed one hand. "And sexy." He kissed the other hand. "And free." He kissed her forehead.

"Free?" she questioned.

"Unconcerned about anything but the way you drive me to insanity with the thought of being inside you. Free to think only of how we feel when we join, how to say what we need with every part of ourselves."

"And what if it takes a while?"

"Then I'll take a lot of cold showers," he said with a smile. "But I'll be here. Now and forever."

"Now and forever."

He kissed her again.

"Jennifer, you are a woman of honor and accomplishment. Only you know the will of your heart. I am yours. Wherever that takes us."