*shy wave*
Hi guys...still remember me? I'm that horrible person that told you she would have heaps of time to write and update frequently and then ended up abandoning you for far too long.
I'm sorry, really I am, but I really didn'T have time to even think of fanfiction in the last month. School's been pretty demanding and I had heaps of stuff to do. I mean I know that excuse has a beard longer than the distance from Austria to Washington D.C. but it's true.
And I can't even promise to update more frequently during summer holidays because I'll be in pretty internetless parts of Finnland. I can only hope that I will write during the car rides and update whenever I get to a computer with internet access.
I will try to update once or twice before I leave, though. That should be possible.
Disclaimer: I just checked my emails...still no ownership of NCIS. :(
Chapter 10 - Squad Room
After a month of working with Ziva, he still doesn't seem to be able to manage his feelings. What is it with that woman that makes him feel so strongly about her after such a little amount of time? Of course it wouldn't be that much of a problem if the woman in question would return those feelings and in the beginning it had certainly looked like the attraction was mutual, but Ziva started to treat him almost like McGee. Well, with a few flirty remarks thrown in, of course.
However, as much as he hates to admit it to himself, the way it is now is probably better for their working relationship. Their professional distance makes it easier for him to pretend that his attraction to her is merely physical and has nothing to do with any romantic feelings. They've built up a friendship with the potential of having certain benefits. He's still waiting for the 'benefits' part though. Technically this wouldn't even count as 'dating', so Gibbs couldn't give him shit about rule 12.
Before he can think more about his could-be-more-than-friends relationship with his Israeli coworker, McGee comes walking out of the elevator and trips, awkwardly steadying himself on Miranda from human resources. A good-looking blonde, that the Probie used to have a little crush on, as he suspects. The woman just smiles at his friend and he thinks for a second that maybe, just maybe, young, shy McGee could have a chance of her agreeing to a date. He sighs. Even McAwkward's love life looks better than his own at the moment.
"Did you see that, Tony?" McGee whispers frantically. "She was totally checking me out!"
"You? Puh-lease. Did you hit your head lately?" he says with a grin, pretending to not have watched the whole thing. It was always more fun this way.
"No, I swear! Do you think I should ask her out?" McGee starts pacing in front of his desk.
"Sure." The younger agent's eyes light up and he stops. "And then we all go ride our unicorns to the end of the rainbow, because that's about as realistic." McGee'S face falls again and he sighs, making his way over to his chair and dropping into it.
"You're probably right," he says.
"Right with what?" an unmistakable voice asks from Kate's desk and he curses in his mind at the immediate reaction of his heart.
McGee looks up. "Oh, hey Ziva. Tony just talked me out of asking Miranda Jefferson on a date." Again the Probie sighs.
Within a second he feels a fist connect with his shoulder. "Ouch! Jeez, Ziva!" he complains and rubs the sore spot. He is never going to get used to the assassin's violent nature…even though her profession kind of gives it away.
"That was not nice, Tony," she says in a lecturing tone. "If you wanted to ask someone outside-"
"-It's just 'out'," McGee corrects, but shuts his mouth when her steely glare makes him feel uncomfortable.
"If you wanted to ask someone out," she repeats the correct phrase, "You would not want to be talked out of it, would you?"
"I never get talked out of it, " he says with a flirtatious wink, "I can ask out whoever I want." This was supposed to make her jealous, but Ziva just shrugs her shoulders indifferently. He's stunned by the pang of disappointment he feels at her reaction. This was not his usual Tony DiNozzo behavior.
"But this is about McGee," she says determinedly and turns to the Probie. "I will see what I can do." With a sweet smile – very unlike her – she turns and leaves for the stairs, leaving him and his coworker staring after her with questioning eyes.
…
"Hey, McGee!" he says before throwing a paper ball across the squad room, hitting the younger agent square in the face.
"What?" his target yells in annoyance.
"I'm bored."
"Yeah, I noticed that about seven paper balls ago," comes the sarcastic response. "Why don't you just…do some Senior Field Agent stuff. You always brag about having 'duties'."
"Good idea, but as the name says, I am a Senior Field Agent. As far as I'm concerned we are currently not out in the field. But if a mountain lion comes and attacks you, oh Probie of all Probies, I will do my best to protect you."
"So, when you say 'mountain lion' you mean Gibbs, right?" The younger man laughs at his own joke, but when he doesn't get a response he falls silent. "He's standing right behind me, isn't he?" He scrambles to his feet, not daring to turn around, and starts babbling. "I'm sorry, boss. It was just me and Tony joking around. Of course I don't think you're a mountain lion. Except when I say you're…you're brave as a mountain lion…-" McGee stops as he sees the camera. "What the hell?"
"Aaaaand cut!" he yells before he bursts out laughing. "McGee, this was priceless! 'Brave as a mountain lion'? God, this is too funny!"
McGee turned around in confusion just to find the rest of the bullpen empty. He sighs and turns back to his coworker. "Well played, DiNozzo."
"You still got a lot to learn." There was a short silence before he continued. "Hey, what about grabbing some lunch? It's on you."
"Haha, very funny."
Three women enter the bullpen then and interrupt the conversation. He smiles at his not-really-but-still-in-a-way partner Kate and then at Ziva, who's still wearing the same sweet smile as when she left. The woman definitely has a plan, he knows that, and he will definitely work on finding out what it was. It turns out that he won't have to think much about it as he recognizes the third person. Miranda Jefferson. He smiles at her as well.
"Is it my birthday yet?" he asks cheerfully, earning eye-rolls from both, Ziva and Kate, and a disgusted look from Miranda.
"Ignore him," whispers Kate. "He's worse than any thirteen-year-old."
He shrugs but smiles as he sees Ziva's lips involuntarily turn up into a half-smile that almost looks affectionate. Maybe she's just a far better actress than he thinks and there's still a chance of them forming something more than friendship…and even more than the same thing with benefits.
"It's okay Kate, you don't need to pretend to hate me," he teases. "Now what brought you ladies here?"
Ziva steps forward and clears her throat. "Well, after our little talk earlier, I went to search for Miranda here," she turned to the blonde, "and told her about McG- about Timothy."
"And here I am," says Miranda and smiles at McGee. "Would you by any chance want to grab lunch some time?"
All eyes turn to the agent in question and he just swallows once to keep his composure. "Sure. Actually I just wanted to go now…do you have time?"
"I don't think this is a problem. I'll meet you at the entrance in ten." The woman smiles brightly and turns, heading towards the elevator.
McGee jumps up and blinks a couple of times, trying to comprehend what just happened. Finally he turns to the Israeli. "Ziva…why?"
"Because that is what friends do, is it not?"
"Uh, sure. If you ever need anything..let me know."
"I will. Now go," she nudges him on to continue in the direction that his date left.
…
"No, we had Chinese last week. Please let's just settle on something…less sweet-sour-y," he complains as Kate walks straight towards their usual lunch place. Kate turns to stare at him.
"You don't have to eat your usual meal if you don't want sweet-sour."
"I would rather eat something else, too," says Ziva from behind them.
"Italian?" he offers.
"Maybe, I-"
"Italian it is, then. C'mon Kate," he turns and leads the way to the nearest Italian restaurant that ironically has the name 'Tony's'. His friend doesn't move, though and so he faces her again, raising an eyebrow.
Kate sighs and nods her head towards the Chinese place. "Henry's in there."
He nods knowingly and winks at his friend. "Then go."
"Really? I feel bad, I mean this is the only time of the day that we can talk…"
"Go, Kate. It's okay," he says with a laugh. She smiles gratefully at him and enters the restaurant with a big smile. She very much reminds him of a love struck teenager. He turns back to Ziva. "So, this leaves only the two of us. Are you excited yet?"
"Shut it or you will be eating alone."
"Point taken," he says with a grin and they continue the walk to the restaurant in silence. He thinks about different things, like why Gibbs hasn't shown up all day or why Miranda would go out with McGee or why Abby hadn't joined them for lunch, but his thoughts always trail back to Ziva and he finally decides that he needs to talk to her about Israel, especially the airport, and her first week on the team, especially the almost-kiss in the observation room.
"I am sorry," she says before he can start his quickly thought out speech.
"For what?" he asks in surprise, completely thrown off topic by the seriousness her tone held.
"For distancing myself from you. I know you have certain feelings…for me."
He waves it off and puts on his best poker face. "Don't be silly. It was just a kiss and that was two months ago."
"Really? Because I certainly feel…something," she admits quietly. "But it is better this way. There are some things going on at Mossad that are…strange and I do not want you to get pulled into anything.
That makes him stop and he narrows his eyes at her. "Are you in danger?"
"I do not think so, but I do not know it for sure," she says.
"You would tell me if anything dangerous was going on, right?"
She hesitates for a moment before she nods. "Yes. Even though I am not allowed to talk about it, I am sure I would at least leave you some kind of message."
"Thanks."
"It is what friends do."
It's the second time that day that she's used that phrase and he starts to wonder what caused the sudden friendshippyness. It didn't exactly fit her character to make her affection for someone no secret but show it.
"So we are friends, right?"
His question throws her off guard and she stares at him. "Yes, Tony. We are friends."
"But we're friends in a different way than you and McGee are friends, right?"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying Ziva, that we're probably a little more than friends."
"You might be right."
He's stunned into silence by that simple statement that confirms his suspicions of her feeling at least something. "Then why are we pretending?"
"Because it is safer for both our hearts. We have both been hurt terribly in the past by people we thought we could trust."
"No, that's your reason. I wouldn't mind being…more." He argues, earning a laugh from her that's not really amused. She looks past him and sighs quietly. He reaches out to touch her but suddenly she stiffens and her eyes widen. She slaps his hand away.
"I need to go!" she says almost…scared and runs back towards the car. He's completely confused as he stares after her until she disappears around a corner, but his gut starts churning.
And even though his gut is far less reliable than Gibbs', he knows one thing: Something's really very wrong with Ziva.
Again, I am so, so sorry.
Review? Please? (:
PS: I know I cheated with the title...sue me :P