Disclaimer: All things Twilight are the property of Stephanie Meyer. All mistakes are mine. No copyright infringement is intended.
Rating: NC-17 for violence, sex and language.
Thank you, RedSummer, spot on as always. :o)
Shameless plug: I've entered three short stories into the Quickie Contest. They're voting this week, finishing on the 8th April. I know it's only a couple of days, but PLEASE have a look and vote for the ones you like. One might be mine! The link is on my profile.
Carlisle's POV
I knew the price would be high, but to see Emmett stagger and fall, that really brought it home. He was our rock. He was always positive, he brought laughter to any situation, and he eased many of our awkward moments. But he looked like the bottom had just dropped out of his world. He clung to Rosalie and crushed her to him. This time she was the strong one. She clasped him to her chest and ran her fingers through his hair, then lifted his face to meet hers.
"We can do it, Em. We can raise this child to respect human life as vehemently as the wolves. We can love them and protect them, teach them and guide them. We can be there for them when they need us. We are strong enough. Strong enough to move Heaven and Earth remember…"
He began to breathe again, huge ragged breaths that calmed as her words sunk in.
"Together, always, success or failure. We can do this," she said with certainty, the implication being that if they failed, they would do that together too, all three of them. The knowledge that he would not have to live long after performing his duty seemed to give him the strength to rise to his feet again.
"I except, Jacob, Sam, and on behalf of your ancestors after you. If a human is killed or turned we will kill the child ourselves, but in exchange we would ask you take us too."
My breath stuck in my throat and my mind reeled with the implications of what had just passed. Rosalie and Emmett would have their baby, they would raise it, but if it killed a human they would die. I would lose them all. The thought was too horrific to comprehend. What had we just agreed to? I held my hand out to Esme; I needed her touch to help me be strong.
Sam and Jacob exchanged looks again. "Agreed. But I sincerely hope it never comes to that," Jacob said quietly.
The silence in the room stretched awkwardly as reality sunk in. Jacob turned to his pack and the look they exchanged seemed to galvanise him. "Okay, Carlisle. I guess we have to figure out how we're going to do this. I believe there is another game on later, and by the smell of it, Esme and Nessie have got something good lined up in the kitchen, so why don't we take this to your office and let the rest of them get on with eating you out of house and home?"
"Cool!" Seth enthused. He never seemed to stop eating at the moment. "Come on, Nessie! Show us what you've cooked up today." He grinned broadly and the tension in the room seemed to melt. Nessie jumped up and sprinted ahead of him just as Embry and Quil took off after them, racing to the kitchen and barging each other out of the way in an effort to get through the door first. Paul and Jared just stayed on the sofa looking uncomfortable.
I heard the oven door open, then plates clatter on the table. "Excellent!" Embry exclaimed from the kitchen. He stuck his head round the door to the living room. "You guys have got get in here. There's roast venison and heaps of potatoes and everything. Nessie's made chocolate chip cookies and they're huge!" He vanished again, but this time Paul and Jared followed, still slightly hesitant.
"I best go and make sure they behave in there," Esme whispered in my ear. "I don't want them teaching Nessie bad habits!" She squeezed my hand reassuringly and then smiled at Jacob and Sam. "I'll bring some up to the office for you both. If I don't save you some now there won't be any left at all."
"Thanks, Esme. By the sounds of it, you best be quick. Seth is having a growth spurt again, and he's eating anything that isn't nailed down or locked up!" Jacob's point was underlined by raucous laughter from the kitchen and Esme left to get them under control. She amazed me, the only vampire in existence mothering a bunch of teenage werewolves!
"Shall we?" I gestured to my office and followed Jacob and Sam upstairs. The laughter downstairs was muffled as I closed the door behind us and the awkwardness descended again. I rounded my desk and sat down as Jacob and Sam pulled up chairs the other side.
"So, how much do you guys actually drink?" Sam asked, starting with the most important question of the lot.
"That's a very good question, Sam. I'd say we normally drink the equivalent of two to four pints a day, but all at once, every couple of weeks or so. It's down to personal preference really. Jasper feels more comfortable when he hunts more regularly, and I can go longer. Rosalie, however, has not hunted since she had Jacob's blood. It's lasted a long time for her, a lot longer than any of us expected, so even with diet we are in unknown territory right now."
"I would guess that you've got about twelve to fourteen pints of blood in you, Jacob. By the sound of your heart, your blood pressure, and the effort it took to keep you alive, I would say you'd lost over half your blood. Seven pints, or thereabouts. That lasted Rosalie two weeks, but her ability to sleep and eat diminished after the first. I would guess that her needs are realistically about a pint a day at the moment."
"I guess that's manageable," said Sam. "A lot better than four a day anyway. Have you any thoughts about how we are going to do this?"
"Depending on how many from your packs are willing to help, I should imagine that a pint, or maybe two, a week should suffice. Your enhanced healing is more than adequate to cope with that demand as Jacob demonstrated quite effectively. What I don't want to do is leave you depleted. I will monitor you carefully, and I ask that you're honest about any side effects – even the mildest ones."
"I have the equipment required for blood donation here, which means I can take it whenever you, or members of your packs, are available." I had no wish to dictate any of this process to the wolves. If they wanted to come all at once, or drop by on an ad-hoc basis, that decision would be theirs. I was just grateful that they were even willing to consider helping us. Even the thought of the research required in exchange was more exciting than daunting. My biggest hope was that somehow, out of all of this chaos and uncertainty, there would be a way for Esme to get her dream; for us to have a child.
There was soft knock at the door. "Come in," I called. Esme came in with a tray of food and drink for Jacob and Sam and Nessie followed with a plate of enormous cookies.
"Wow, Nessie, and I thought Embry was exaggerating again!" Jacob beamed a smile and took the plate from Nessie, grabbing a cookie before passing it to Sam.
"Thank you, Esme," said Sam as she put a tray on the table and uncovered two plates absolutely laden with food.
"How on earth did do you manage to salvage that much from under Seth's nose?" Jacob joked.
"Vampire speed, and a firm hand helped," laughed Esme.
"And we cooked lots and lots," added Nessie. "We know you too well, Jacob!"
Esme shot me a dazzling smile, took Nessie's hand and led her from the room. I watched as she walked away from me, graceful and beautiful, imagining instead that it was our child she was leading. I was a very lucky man. The door shut with a soft click behind her.
"Earth to Carlisle?" Jacob's chuckle snapped me from my reverie.
"Sorry, Jacob. Where were we?" I brought my attention back to him, slightly embarrassed at the train of my thoughts. They'd agreed to help Rosalie, anything more than that was just wishful thinking.
"How about we start straight away? Rosalie obviously needs to feed and we're all here. I can ask them to come up one at a time once they've cleaned out your kitchen. Let me finish this, and you can start with me. How long does it last anyway?" He pulled his plate towards him and started eating while I answered.
"How long does what last? Donating or the blood?" I asked. Jacob shrugged, his mouth was full. "Okay, donating blood doesn't take long, about fifteen to twenty minutes or so. The blood itself will normally last about a month, but it needs to be treated with preservatives and anticoagulants and stored properly to achieve that. It's better for research to use the blood while it is still fresh, there's less chance of discrepancies."
"Makes sense," Sam said between mouthfuls.
"I'll set up over here. Just come over when you're ready." I left them to their meal and retrieved the blood bags I had stored. I was going to need a lot more of them. I was going to need a lot more of a lot of things. As I set up, I thought about the task ahead of me. It made sense to move from Forks. If we stayed after I left the hospital a lot of questions would be asked. But we needed to be close enough to the wolves, and we'd need space for a lab too. I'd get Esme onto that, she was excellent at orchestrating our moves.
"Are you ready then, Doctor Cullen?" Jacob came over to where I'd set up. "Let's get going then shall we?"
It didn't take long to get Jacob's donation, even though he insisted on giving two pints. I made him drink and rest, which he did begrudgingly, but I could hear from the speed of his heart that the blood was already regenerating. It was only a subtle difference, but it reassured me that the werewolves were robust enough to cope with the task ahead.
"I didn't get a chance to congratulate you, Sam, on Emily's pregnancy. It must be very exciting for you." I started with the 'doctor' patois as Sam seemed nervous now he was in the vampire's lair. It worked, his face lightened at the thought of Emily pregnant with his child.
"Very." He grinned. "But I'm nervous too. It would be reassuring to know if Maria was out of the area, but I'm certainly glad the rest have gone. That was too intense by far! Especially knowing that Emily was pregnant but not being able to tell anyone. She was worried it was too soon. It's due at the end of July. Everyone is excited –" The grin fell from his face. "Everyone except Leah."
"That must be hard for all of you," I sympathised.
"It's manageable with Leah in Jacob's pack now. I'm glad we don't have to run together anymore, but I feel guilty about that too. I still love her in a way, but nothing like what I've got with Emily. Having to see the pain I'd caused every day, and hear it in her thoughts, it made me feel awful every time." He looked away as I inserted the needle and started his donation going.
"She's a bit better now she's away from you too, Sam. Not having to see you and hear you all the time means she can push it away and pretend it's not there. I can't say she's not bitter about the baby, because she is. Badly. But it's not for the reasons you think, she doesn't begrudge you guys at all," Jacob reassured him.
"That surprises me. She must have changed more than I thought. But why?" Sam asked.
"I guess she has changed a great deal. We've had a lot of time to 'talk' while we run, and I think that not having you there in her head has made it easier to work things through. It's kind of awkward at the moment." Jacob paused and shot me a look. I'd heard about that, awkward was a massive understatement thanks to Jasper. "But we've come to an understanding. Emily being pregnant is something that she's got to deal with. The reasons why are for her to choose to share, or not. It's her choice, and I've come to respect that," Jacob replied.
"Oh," Sam looked confused. Jacob shrugged.
I hadn't known Leah before she ran with Jacob's pack, but Sam's reaction was so shocked that I guessed she'd been a lot worse when she was with him. It was a shame that her friendship with Jacob had been so badly shaken. I would have a word with Jasper about that.
It didn't take long for Sam's donation to finish, he'd insisted on two pints as well. After the same drink and rest routine that I'd forced on Jacob, he was free to go.
"Thank you, Jacob, Sam. I'll sort these out. You send them up one at a time when they're ready."
They left and headed downstairs while I gathered the blood they'd donated. It wasn't long before I heard feet charging up the stairs again. Whoever it was they were keen.
"Hi, Carlisle," said Seth as he bounced into the room.
"Oh no, Seth. You're too young, and you're growing like mad right now. You need all the blood you can get!" I watched him slump.
"Come on, please? I want to help and I can heal as quickly as the others," he pleaded.
"I can't, Seth. You're not sixteen yet, and even then I'd need your mother's permission. I know these aren't exactly normal circumstances, but I just can't do it. It wouldn't feel right," I explained.
"If I get my Mom's permission, would you do it then?" He was desperate to find a way around my arguments.
"With your mother's express permission, I will consider it," I conceded.
Seth sighed deeply. "Okay, okay. I get the message. Not today," he acquiesced. He wandered out of the door again visibly disappointed. I hated crushing him like that.
Quil came up next and chatted happily about Claire and what they'd got planned for the following weekend. I didn't need to guess why he was helping us; he had years before he needed to think about ageing again, and the chances were very high that we'd have come up with something by then.
Embry followed Quil and breezed into the room happily. I enjoyed that they were comfortable around us now. "Doctor Cullen, how could you do that to Seth? It's like kicking a puppy!" His smile contradicted his harsh words. "He's gone right now to ask his Mom, so you're not getting off the hook that easily."
"Thanks for the warning, Embry," I replied. "Sit down here and let's get you going."
"I'm hoping you'll have this sussed by the time I imprint. Although we're running out of friends, cousins or nieces I haven't met yet."
"I can't help you there! You've met all my 'cousins' and I think they have the opposite effect to the one you're after."
"You're too right there," he laughed.
Embry's face suddenly went serious. "Carlisle, have you heard about the controversy over my phasing?"
"No, Embry. I haven't. If Edward has heard anything he's kept it to himself," I said.
"I shouldn't have phased you see. My father wasn't Quileute. What that means is that he wasn't my father…" Embry trailed off.
"But that one of the Quileute Elders was?" I asked.
"Yes, but nobody knows who," he revealed. "It's not something you can ask outright without upsetting a lot of people."
"I don't think it is something you can find out through other means either, not without upsetting a lot of people too." I could see where this was going, and I needed to make him think, hard.
"But you could do it?" He asked.
"Technically it's possible. Ethically it's not, not without permission. So please think about this."
He looked down at the line of blood running out of his arm. It did hold the answer he wanted, but not on its own. With nothing to compare it to the answer would remain a secret.
"Embry, a lot more wolves have phased recently. There must be some common blood going back a long way for that to happen. They can't all be direct decedents of the current Quileute Elders."
"Maybe not, but the strongest lines phased first, and I was one of the first."
"But so did the eldest, and you are older than the others. Have you spoken to anyone about this?"
"Ha! In the pack you can't avoid it, especially with Leah throwing snide remarks around the pack mind. They're all awkward about it – I mean, their fathers could have cheated on their mothers and that is painful to think about. That and the fact I could be their brother."
"I didn't mean the pack, Embry. I meant the Elders. Have you had a chance to speak privately with them?"
"No. I haven't had the courage." He sighed deeply.
"Would you like me to have a quiet word with Billy when he comes to give his sample for the research? See what he thinks you should do?" I asked. Billy was the leader of that generation and as an elder he was probably more than aware already.
"That'd be good. Thanks, Carlisle."
I finished his donation, pulled out the needle, and got him to hold the tiny puncture wound for the few moments it took to heal. "Have a drink and rest here for ten minutes or so. When you feel ready you can go back down to the others." I was under no illusion that the pint of blood would slow him down anywhere near as much as the questions would. Embry's heavy tread down the stairs seemed to reflect the weight on his shoulders.
Paul and Jared came up quietly together. I hoped that they would feel more comfortable soon. They had fought with us, and stood with us against the Volturi, but they hadn't spent any time with us or been inside our house before now.
They sat silently while I took their donations. I knew from Jacob that they had both imprinted – he was particularly unimpressed with Paul for imprinting on his sister. I guessed that as they got used to us we'd see more of their characters; Jared a joker and Paul a pain the ass – according to Jacob.
They left as quietly as they came and their footsteps down the stairs were overlapped by a lighter one racing up them again. I didn't have to guess who that was, and sure enough Seth burst into the room.
"I've got it, see?" He thrust a folded bit of paper in my direction and stood panting, waiting for me to take it. He must have run flat out, there and back, to have got it so quickly.
Doctor Cullen,
Please accept this as my permission for Seth to donate blood for Rosalie, and for your research. I can't say I am completely happy with the idea, but Seth is exceedingly keen to help. I am putting my trust in your judgement as to the level of his involvement. Seth is especially keen for to you to find a solution to ageing, an end to phasing and a return to normality.
Yours sincerely
Sue Clearwater
I read the note again and looked up at Seth. "I thought you liked being a werewolf?" I asked.
"I do! It's cool. Leah doesn't though. She hates it and what it's done to her. I want you to figure that one out for her."
He waited, looking at me as I shook my head in amazement. For a teenager, he was astonishingly selfless. Edward had said he had a genuine and pure mind. Most boys his age hated their sisters, but he just wanted to help.
"Will you? Can I?" He looked concerned, misinterpreting my actions.
"Yes, Seth. But there are conditions," I conceded. "Only every other week, not every week. Never more than a pint, never on days you patrol, and you will rest afterwards. Do you understand me?"
"Sure thing, Doctor Cullen. Anything you say." He relaxed before my eyes, the anxiety at my earlier decision only apparent now it had gone.
It took hardly any time to get his donation. After running to La Push and back, his blood was almost fizzing out. I forced him to rest for another fifteen minutes and listened to his heart as well as his chatter.
I appraised him again. I always thought of him as a gangly boy, but I realised that that was all relative. Compared to the likes of Jacob and Sam, he was small, skinny and slight. But compared to other boys his age he must have been shooting up and filling out before their eyes. He'd probably grown six inches, and the muscles on his frame were bulking up. His shoulders were definitely broader than they had been. Even his face had matured, his jaw had become more defined.
I realised that his blood might reveal the differences that caused the accelerated maturity in werewolves. What Jacob had been through in the past year, Seth was right in the middle of.
"Before you go, Seth, I'd like to weigh and measure you. You're growing fast at the moment, and that may have a bearing on things."
"Sure!" He beamed at the thought of being more help than anticipated. It would be interesting to see what he was next time. I quickly jotted the figures down.
He skipped down the stairs, and I started packing up. The sound of the door startled me – I'd forgotten how silently they could move if they chose to.
"Leah, you surprised me!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, I know. Why would the grumpy bitch help?" She scowled at me and came to sit where I was working, thrusting out her arm. "Come on then." She spoke it as a challenge.
"Are you sure about this, Leah? I know you are not keen on us."
"That's a bit of an understatement! But you know what? I hate being a werewolf." She looked into my eyes and I could see the depth of her feelings. "If what you're doing can stop that, then you can have my blood any day."
"Okay. Do you want me to just use it for research, or are you willing to let Rosalie have some too?" I could see that she was hurting, and if that option made it easier for her, then it was one I was willing to offer.
"She can have it. I know where she's coming from." She looked away before continuing, "I get the whole genetic dead end thing."
"Genetic dead end?"
I knelt beside her as I inserted the line and set the bag down. She turned back to look at me with pain in her expression, her teeth gritted hard together. Then she exploded, the pent up emotions filled her voice. "Yeah! Not only did the damn werewolf thing take the man I loved, but it's taken any future I had too. I'm never going to imprint because my insides are shrivelled up like prunes – I can't ever have kids because of the damn werewolf thing!"
I kept my gaze away from her as she composed herself. She seemed to be like Rosalie in that way, hated being seen vulnerable too.
"I can help, if you want me to. I've many years experience in all medical fields. It could be reversible," I explained.
"Yeah right! Reverse the menopause? Like that's possible."
"It might not be that –"
She cut me off. "I've had tests and scans! My ovaries have shrivelled up, nothing going on down there AT ALL. How can you fix that?" Her eyes flashed with anger and barely restrained tears.
"I don't know, Leah. But if it means so much to you, would you allow me to try?" I asked.
She looked away, leaving the question unanswered. Unless she expressly told me not to, I knew of a few tests I could carry out on her blood that might give me a few pointers.
"Are you done yet?" She spoke through gritted teeth.
"All done." I removed the needle and she got up to leave immediately. "Please take it easy for a while, okay?"
She shut the door without a word. I put her blood aside. I wanted a look at that before I gave it to Rosalie.
Shameless plug: Just in case you're like me, and skip over anything written at the top to get on with the story. I've entered three short stories into the Quickie Contest. They're voting this week, finishing on the 8th April. I know it's only a couple of days, but PLEASE have a look and vote for the ones you like. One might be mine! The link is on my profile.
Also, I'm in need of car advice for Esme. What would Rosalie recommend for her?
Thank you very much for reading - Please, please, keep reviewing - it makes me feel GREAT to see them in my inbox :o)