A/N: Those who have reviewed, faved, or put this story or myself on their alerts since my last shout out.
So BIG thank you's to- StoneWings37, ConfusedSoAmI, SaphiraEragon, yourlostlongbrotherOwO, Megane-usa-chan, Generalhyna, VeganVampy, horseluvr888, Yukari99, GLaDOS-01, and aristotle29 who is always there to yell at me for updates. Really anyone can yell at me for updates, it motivates the mind! Also, big news! I now have a plot for the story! That's good right ^_^
"Mom, you said there was a river somewhere close . . ." I whined.
"It is close, Rachel, my definition of close is just quite different than yours. And my name is Kakashi." He chided for the fourth time. Hehe, he didn't like his manly nickname.
"Yeah, yeah. So how far in my terms?" I asked, expecting disappointment.
"I want to say five miles, but I could be wrong."
"Well, we will just have to smell bad I guess . . ." Mallory said gloomily from a few feet to my left. We were walking again . . . shocker. I was half tempted to ask Naruto to summon Gamabunta, and it's a good thing that I remembered he would have absolutely no idea who or what I was talking about. I mentally sighed.
'Quit mentally sighing, it's annoying.'
'Why, hello conscience.'
'Why do you sound so happy?'
'No reason.'
'Okay . . . so do we have a plan yet?'
'For?'
'Getting home . . . I feel like I'm cramped here for some reason.'
'Sucks to suck.'
'I'm leaving.'
'HA, but to where will you go?'
'. . .'
'Fine then.'
"Walking sucks." Mallory mentioned under her breath. I nodded before everyone seemed to lapse into silence.
I lasted ten minutes in the silence before I got an idea. I glanced at Jess for a second and she gave me a WTF look before glaring at Sasuke some more. Ah yes, the burning hatred she had for that kid . . . well I was bored so that was going to have to wait. *dramatic deep breath*
"SHA LA LA itsuka kitto da nnanaanananaaa!" I started singing in a really crappy voice. Jess started laughing before singing the first line over and over with me again. We hated that song so much. After hearing it way too many times we just started to sing it randomly sometimes.
"What are you singing?" Mallory asked while she covered her ears to drown out our beautiful singing.
"An opening song to an episode of an awesome show of awesome, but it isn't an awesome song, isn't it awesome?" I replied while making use of the word awesome to its full potential.
Eventually, we came across the big body of water that Kakashi had mentioned. This was also the same body of water that we were going to have to cross in silence to get to Tazuna's town and stuff. Kakashi didn't mention that it was salt water.
"Mom."
"My name is Kakashi." The copy ninja replied in a tired voice.
"Good for you, but this is salt water Mom." I pointed out. I had put my hand into the water and tasted it for the very thought that it might be salt water. I flicked the excess water at Sasuke for revenge of kidnapping me in the middle of the night. I am such an avenger, he should be taking notes.
"Well, then I guess you will just have to wait." He deduced. I opened my mouth to say something that was probably really rude, but decided against it and shut my mouth. We waited around for a bit before a boat appeared to ferry us across the water/lake/thing. There was also the mist that was everywhere and even though I knew that no one would attack us at this point I was still pretty paranoid. I mean what if Masashi Kishimoto left out a four day battle that occurred right here and now! I would have no idea it was going to happen.
'They have no idea what's going to happen either.'
'They're ninjas.'
'True.'
We came across the bridge and Naruto started yelling.
"It's huge!" He cried in the thick silence about the bridge. Mal, Jess, and I started to giggle uncontrollably.
"That's what she said." We all whispered in unison, which got some strange looks from the others. Kakashi barely spared a glance. OMFG Mom was getting used to us!
"Quiet! Why do you think we cut off the engine? So they don't see us!" The boat ferry person scolded all of us. Naruto clamped a hand over his mouth and we all shut up, but it was still pretty funny.
"Mr. Tazuna," Kakashi asked, "before we reach the pier I want to ask you something. I need to know why those men are after you, or I'll have to end this mission when we drop you ashore."
Tazuna then began to go on this long winded explanation about the Gato guy that I honestly didn't care about. Mallory was really wrapped up in the story though. I began listening near the end when he was about to guilt trip us into helping him. This was my favorite part!
"But, don't feel bad about that," Tazuna said, "Of course my grandson will cry, and my daughter will condemn the ninja of the hidden leaves, denouncing you for abandoning her father and living her life in sorrow, but it's not your fault." I almost laughed, even though it was kind of the truth. I looked towards the ninjas and they all had a look of pity on their faces, as did Mallory. Mallory actually had more of a look of determination on her face. I hope she wasn't about to go on one of those 'I will help you no matter what!' monologues. Luckily, Mom stepped in and said the whole, "I guess we will have to guard you now." Thing.
Shortly after, we arrived at the dock that we were headed for and got off of the boat. I stretched out a little and looked around. It was still so weird to be in the Naruto world. Even though we were in a town we still had to cross though a wooded area or something before we could make it to Tazuna's house apparently. I really didn't want to already be at the Zabuza fight scene, but I knew that it was going to happen really soon whether I wanted it to or not.
I was wondering how long it would take before anything happened when Naruto threw a kunai into a bush randomly. I glanced at Jess and we waited for the bunny. Naruto threw another kunai into the shrubbery and I tried to look where it hit the tree, I saw the bunny and got ready to hit the ground. Naruto was cuddling the poor rabbit that he scarred for life and I was waiting. Jess and I were on both sides of Mallory. This way we could be ready to push her over so she wouldn't get hit by the sword when Zabuza threw it. I was beginning to doubt my memory of the show when Mom yelled "Look out!" I shoved Mallory over and hit the ground myself as the Executioner's Blade embedded itself into a tree. I looked up and saw Zabuza. I started to giggle uncontrollably again. Everyone looked at me with a WTF look.
"Hi Mr. Puffy Pajamapants, OMG we match!" I exclaimed as I pointed out that I also have giraffe print pants that were pajamaish. Zabuza just raised an eyebrow at me before facing Mom. I guess even though I was randomly quoting Naruto Abridged I didn't really matter . . . good! I sat down by some tree that I hope wouldn't get destroyed or something in the battle. I mean, what was I possibly going to do to help out in this situation. Everyone gets out alive . . . literally. I motioned for Mallory to sit down as well; she did so and Jess followed suit. We sat there watching and every now and then we would quote Naruto abridged just for the heck of it and cheer them on.
"WOOOO GO NARUTO, WAY TO GET BACK YOUR HEADBAND FOR ALMOST NO REASON! SAKURA YOU'RE DOING GREAT! Not doing much, but still doing good. Uh Sasuke . . . you're blue . . . da bu de da bu die da bu de da bu die!" I sang out of boredom and strange confidence that Zabuza wouldn't attack us for some reason.
"Rachel, why is Mr. Puffy Pjpants standing on water?" Mallory asked.
"He's actually Jesus."
O.o
"She's kidding Mal." Jess reassured as Naruto and Sasuke went through with their master plan to get Kakashi out of water prison.
"Oh, good." She said with a relieved look.
"He's actually just controlling his chakra so he can stand on water." I explained in a roundabout way. She nodded in either real understanding or so I would shut up.
"WOO GO MOM! MR. PUFFY PAJAMA PANTS IS GOIN DOWN!" I yelled really dramatically. Even Zabuza turned to look when I called Kakashi Mom. I just stuck my tongue out at him and flashed a peace sign because I didn't really know what else to do.
"Do you know who I am, little girl?" He demanded harshly. I was pretty shocked that he was addressing me.
"Yup." I replied before I could think of a smart answer.
"You know that I could kill you faster than you could process that you're dead, right?"
"Sounds like a pretty good way to go to me! I wouldn't feel a thing." I pointed out. He gave me another look before Kakashi attacked him again and their fight continued.
"Why did you do that?" Jess asked me with concern.
"Yeah, that was pretty stupid, wasn't it?" I admitted, she shook her head and we realized that the fight was already winding down. I barely had time to register that it was over before Haku's senbon took out Zabuza. I looked around to try and find where he was in the trees when he appeared by Zabuza. Before anything could be said I had to interrogate Haku.
"Haku!" I yelled at the he/she. Haku turned his head in my direction, "You say you are a boy, but why do you look so girly?"
"It's a good distraction tactic for some, as some weak ninjas don't like to beat up girls." He replied simply. I had no idea if he/she was lying, but I wanted a better answer.
"Yeah, but if that's true, you're a pretty crappy cross-dresser. I mean no one can tell if you are a guy or a girl with the mask and either gender clothing. You see my confusion?" I asked.
"Yes, I do." The masked ninja replied simply before Kakashi started to talk to him/her about 'important' things. I waited until they left before talking again.
"Hey, Jess?"
"What?" She asked.
"I don't know, I felt like asking you something, but I forgot." I admitted; she gave me an annoyed look. We all turned to head towards Tazuna's house and keep walking like nothing had ever happened when Mom fell over.
"I remember what I was going to ask you now."
"What?" She asked with a hint of apprehension in her voice.
"We should see what Mom's face looks like under the mask while he's passed out!" I exclaimed with excitement.
"Why are you playing around when Kakashi-sensei is hurt? Do you have no compassion?" Sakura demanded. I shook my head, but refrained from a sarcastic remark. Considering I would also freak out if my teacher randomly passed out also.
The rest of the way to Tazuna's house was relatively silent. His daughter was frantic when we got there. She was very happy of course, but she was jumpy around the ninja. I liked her though!
"Are you three girls ninja too?" Tsunami asked us. Mallory was the first to reply.
"Not even close, we just have friends who are ninjas and tend to get dumped within close proximity of them at times." She explained rather oddly.
"Why are you wearing such strange clothes?" Tsunami asked after hearing Mallory's vague answer. We gave each other a few looks. We did kind of stand out in our pajamas.
Mallory began to explain our situation with a great cover story, "We were all camping in the woods when we were attacked by some wild . . . squirrels in the middle of the night and had to flee before we would catch rabies and die a slow and painful death. We're in our pajamas right now because we had to run away from the rabid squirrels quickly. We also haven't showered in four days, or changed because we have no other clothes. *insert Mallory puppy dog eyes*." Tsunami ran to another room without a word. We all gave each other confused looks for a second. When she came back into the room she pushed a bunch of coins into our hands. Now I was really confused, weren't these people poor?
"We can't take your money." I said trying to give the coins back to her.
"Yes, you can. You are good friends with the ninja who will help us finish this bridge. Besides, this is my father's money." She smiled like that was supposed to make up feel better. Not only are we taking money from someone who needs it, but it's kind of stolen. "Now, I don't want to hear any of the 'we don't really need blah blah', go! There is a shop that sells clothing in town, go get yourselves some clothes because what you are wearing doesn't count."
"Y-yes ma'am." Jess replied as we were basically kicked out of the house.
"Okay, so random shopping trip you guys." I said loudly.
"I still feel bad about this . . ." Mallory mentioned in an unsure voice. Jess nodded in agreement.
"Even if we feel bad about it, it looks like we won't have a place to stay unless we change our wardrobe. So, get over your feel badness and let's go find this store!" I cried as we set off to find the stupid store to get clothes and shoes.
After an hour of searching the little town, we finally found the one store that sold clothes. It didn't have much, but it would have enough. The store owner tried to get us to try on a bunch of the yukatas and skirts, but I wanted pants. I ended up getting some black capris that gathered just below my knees, and a lighter green shirt that had no sleeves and was slightly small. Jess got a simple shirt with sleeves and some dark shorts. Mallory got tight fitting shorts and a dark skirt with a light maroon long sleeve shirt. We all also got a pair of the standard sandals in black or dark brown, we couldn't really tell. With the little money that we had left over I got two simple backpack type things so we could carry all of our crap. We thanked the shop owner and left to head back to the house. We saw a bath house on the way home and I looked at our money with a defeated look. Not enough. That was a very sad realization.
We took a few turns that I was sure were right, but sadly they didn't seem to be. We ended up somehow walking through a forest.
"We're so lost, admit it." Jess stated.
"Why are we in a forest?" Mallory asked.
"We had to walk in a forest to get to Tazuna's house didn't we?" I asked with reassurance.
"Sure, but we didn't have to walk past any trees to get to the store from the house." Mal pointed out. I flinched. Damn.
'You suck at directions.'
'Do not!'
'Really?'
'. . .'
'That's what I thought.'
I turned to my friends and sighed.
"Okay, I'm lost, so what do you guys have in mind to get un-lost?" I asked with a defeated tone.
"I dunno." Jess replied.
"Wait for Naruto to start talking and head towards the noise?" Mal suggested. We all kind of gave a half-hearted laugh before sitting down for a break.
After a bit we got bored of playing Pictionary in the dirt because when you play Pictionary with only three people it fails epically most of the time. I was about to get up when something rolled near us. I looked at it for a second before I saw the fuse.
"Run!" I shouted to my friends, but I was too late. The smoke bomb went off and I ran through the fog, trying to find my friends. I eventually emerged from the smoke and saw Mal, but Jess was still in there.
"Jess! Come towards my voice!" I yelled. I looked around for my friend. Suddenly, I was shoved to the ground by someone tackling me. I knew neither Mal nor Jess would do that in this situation so I kicked and clawed as best I could at the attacker.
"Get the hell off of me, you evil tackler person, I have personal space you know!" I screamed at the person. The guy who was attacking me had on a mask (No it wasn't Mom) and I couldn't see his face. I finally got free and broke into a run.
"Freedom!" I cried . . . that lasted about three seconds. I was tackled by two people this time and got the wind knocked out of me. Dang, I can't shout profanities with no air. I kicked one of the guys where a guy hates to be kicked, but he just got angry instead of the usual falling over in pain. I heard someone yelp a few feet away; in the direction of the smoke bomb cloud. I glanced around for the source of the sound for a second, but I couldn't even see Mallory anywhere anymore. The man who I had just kicked brought his arm back to punch me probably. I shut my eyes and waited for the impact to come, but it never did. I opened my eyes to find both of the bandits gone. The smoke was dissipating, and in the middle of it I could just make out a human figure finishing off another bandit who had tried to run probably. Jess came over to me with a big smile on her face and Mallory was a little ways off picking something up from the ground that caught the light in a certain way. So the person was neither of them. The dust settled and I could see our savior. My eyes widened. I stammered some words out.
"No way . . . how did you—is this even possible?"
A/N: Muahahaha cliffhanger! I know that I said I have a plot now, but it doesn't really come into play until next chapter! I know that I'm evil ^_^ Well, I personally thought that this was a fairly boring chapter to write, but I hope it ws fun enough to read! Also, I do not claim to own Naruto Abridged, but if you haven't seen it and you have seen Naruto . .. just go watch it on youtube . . . right now. 3 Review please and thank you!