Icy Drabbles: "Oh, Brother..."

"Where art though?"

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"Yo and hello to all you peoples out there. I am the 'Big B', that is, the big brother you see. You all listen to me and you'll find things coming to you on the easy street." Cigar smoke rises in waves around the tiny gremlin in the oversized chair. He negligently waves the hand holding the stogie in the direction of a faded and stained couch. "Make yourselves at home and pick your pi-zen."

He points towards a small stack of flyers atop the coffee table.

"Just for the record, no three hour tours. And no, we don't do visits to Disneyland. The Mouse complains and he's got too many lawyers." He watches you pick one up and start to browse before shouting towards the back of the room. "LB, get some tea for our visitors."

He turns back and sees what you're pointing to on the paper.

"Yeah, we do sell tickets to the Odin peep-hole. You want a first rate cushion with that? What?! You sayin that we cheat people? How dare you! We don't force anyone ta look and that's a fact!"

You ignore his grumbling and point out another line on the flyer.

"Cactuar Stand-Up Comedy? Oho! Figured you'd like that one." He chuckles behind his cigar for a full minute. "Can't say it's too popular yet, cause he can't pull off a straight man act for the life of him. He'd a been better off goin as a pantomime... but then again, he coulda just done that on a street corner somewheres."

"Yeah I rent him space and props. So what if his show ain't popular - it ain't my fault. I'm just making money here. And you better NOT tell that prickly son-of-a-plant that I'm ripping him off - I worked too hard to get that contract."

Another line.

"We don't do that anymore. Too expensive shelling out for steaks and idiots to drop em."

You point again.

He frowns and puffs on his cigar. Smoke swirls around his chair...

"Yeah, we run a gaming establishment. Only has a 'Rock-Paper-Scissors' machine in there right now. Feel free to drop by... WHAT?!!!"

He stands up on his chair, quivering with anger. "LB! Forget the tea! Come out here and get rid of these LIBELeous IGnorAMeous ASShulls! They think they can just waltz in and declaim our good name and fortune, and get away with it? Well, you just asked for a first class bouncing!"

A huge hulk powers in from the back room, carrying a tray with several tea cups atop it. The hulk stops for a second to put the tray down on the coffee table and then he turns to you.

The next thing you see is the door... and then the pavement outside of the apartment complex. The hulk disappears inside and the door slams shut.

As you pick yourself up and prepare to leave this inhospitable part of the world, you see a tiny figure in a robe shuffling towards the building. You catch a flash of a swinging lantern just before it disappears through the doorway. You hear a scream from inside.

"Hell no! It ain't time for that sucker's cut! LB! Time to scram! Find that crazy chick now!!!"

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AN: Gangster Brothers. Potshots at Disney. ^^

I'm only getting away with this because of Kingdom Hearts. FF and Disney got stuck together there, somewhat sadly. (Although my sister would say that it's a great game - I never played it very far.) Yes, I'm aware that 'Libel' is for printed falsifications. (BB should be using 'slander'... although, everything that he's been accused of has been true so far...) BB ain't as smart as he thinks he is. ^^