Today is a weird day for me, everything has gone tits up at work – my blood pressure is through the roof and yeah… work has shat on me! So writing a full chapter is really hard. I already had 2k words written, but all that is coming out right now is bile and rage. And that's not conductive to good writing. I'm also technically still doing work-work, even now at 8pm - as the day was wasted with a five hour meeting!

So I literally have no time to write...

So instead I thought to do something different today as a one-off, it won't ever happen again – but occasionally I have ideas for little scenes that won't ever really fit anywhere. Just snippets or comedic moments.

Basically a series of completely unrelated short omake – none of which are canon. Consider them just a selection of Professor Arc short omakes, or even minimakes. I'm not a massive fan myself, but like I said – with everything I need to do ahead of this damn holiday (just finished a 12k Professor Arc chapter and a 7k One Good Turn Chapter the other day) – yeah, things are crazy!

On the other hand, Stress Relief is out today, so please do check that out.

"I told you we could be good friends Jaune," Cinder whispered as she pushed herself against him – and to his horror he found his back pressed against a wall, with nowhere to run.

"I think we have differing views of friendship!" He managed to croak out, voice getting caught somewhere between his lungs and his throat.

"I don't do things by halves," the dangerous woman purred, "either way – why don't we become closer friends, hmm?" He swallowed as he felt her hand run down his throat, before hovering over the buttons of his shirt.

"I think I need an adult…"

"Silly Jaune," she laughed as she pushed his shirt open, "I am an adult."

Break

"Isn't that Ruby Rose's dog?" Jaune asked Glynda, as she marked homework with one hand, the other scratching the belly of a content corgi – whose leg was kicking happily.

"Hmhm," the blonde agreed absently, even as the dog's tongue lolled out.

"Thing is," Jaune wondered how to phrase the question, "didn't you just the other day say that if you ever found a wild animal in the halls you would throw it off Beacon? Literally in front of Team RWBY?"

He'd known about Zwei through Blake, since she spent much of their late sessions complaining about it, but he was sure she'd said it was a secret from the staff. That Ruby and Yang were doing their best to keep him hidden…

"I mainly said that to see their faces," Glynda answered nonchalantly, "I love dogs."

"Right… well how about Peter yesterday pretending he didn't realise Ruby had the dog in her backpack." The large man leaned back in his seat, mug of coffee in one hand as a reminiscent smile came across his face.

"You mean when I pretended I thought it was her barking? And she now has to bark like a dog whenever she sees me?"

"Well… yeah…" Ruby didn't make the best dog sounds, and it had been pretty obvious to him – but Peter had just nodded and complimented the girl on her incredible voice skills. "I mean, why pretend to believe it was her – if it's not even against the rules to have dogs here?"

"Why?" Peter repeated with a laugh. "She was literally barking like a dog Jaune, it was fucking hilarious!"

He should have known…

Break

"Have we all arrived?" Glynda Goodwitch asked of the assembled people, as they each took a seat around the circular conference desk. Her eyes glanced over those assembled. Herself, Tsune, Winter Schnee, Cinder Fall and Raven Branwen – the latter looking slightly out of place with a huge bird mask on. "Very well, anything to note before we begin?"

"We have yet another application from Yang Xiao-Long to join us," Tsune pointed out, to a long sigh from each of them. Raven even going so far as to run a hand down the face of her mask.

"As always," Glynda sighed, "tell Miss Xiao-Long she still doesn't qualify to join us yet – it takes time."

"She lacks patience," Cinder Fall purred, "that will hardly serve her well when hunting our quarry."

"Youth has its own advantage however," Winter Schnee pointed out, "we would be fools to ignore it."

"Enough," Glynda called out as she slammed her hand down on the desk. The issue of ensnaring and/or enslaving our prey will be covered in the main meeting. But there are formalities to be adhered to, are there any more things to raise before the meeting begins?"

She looked around at each of them, but the women merely shook their heads. Glynda nodded.

"Very well, then I declare this meeting of the Cougar Council open!" Each of the assembled cougars nodded their heads solemnly.

"Can we talk more about this enslaving thing," Tsune chipped in, tail wagging as she broke the mood, "I think I like the sound of it!"

Break

"All I'm shayinh is – who're you to talksh about my niesh like that?" The drunkard demanded of the air roughly two metres to Jaune's left.

"Sir," Jaune tried, "I'm Ruby's teacher – and this is a parent/teacher conference. Also I'm over here."

"Where are ya!? So many of yous!?"

"There's only one of me," Jaune sighed as he rested his head on one hand, an elbow on the desk. "And I've not even said anything about Miss Rose's grades yet."

"Don' ye use all dem fansy smancy words with me! I'm Qrow!"

"I can see that sir, it says it on your name card." The drunken man recoiled in horror, looking down at the piece of paper stuck to his breast. He held it out and inspected it for a long minute – then two… another minute passed as the cogs in his mind whirled.

"Molq!? Who's that – what'she doins with my niesh!"?

"It says Qrow," Jaune sighed, "you're reading it upside down."

"Whysh it upside down then?"

"It's not upside down Qrow…" Jaune wanted to bang his head on the table, "you're holding it that way. You know what, I think we're done."

"We ares!?" The man swayed as he stumbled to his feet. "Did yous even tell me anyffing?"

"Yes, yes I did." Jaune lied. "We talked about Miss Rose for a good ten minutes."

"Okay…" the man stumbled away as Jaune let out a long sigh. It wasn't like he would have remembered anything if he'd actually gone through with the teacher conference. Oh well, maybe the next one would be better. He picked up the next card in line.

Yang Xi-

"Who're you to talksh about my niesh like that?" The man demanded as he slammed back down into the chair once more.

Jaune's head fell into his hands.

Break

Professor Jaune Arc hit the floor like a sack of rocks.

Or perhaps more accurately, he hit the kitchenette side, folded over it with a gasp of pain, slumped down onto a nearby stool – before falling back and cracking his head on the floor.

Like a sack of rocks… sort of… the metaphor was less important to her than the fact he wasn't moving anymore. Her heeled boots clicked onto the coffee table as she stepped over it, one finger probing her lips in worry.

Had she killed him? That would be… bad – she hadn't even figured out what her favour was supposed to be yet! He couldn't die before then.

No wait, he was groaning – that was a good sign, sort of. Except that when she dug a friendly toe into his ribs he didn't move, nor even when she casually stepped atop his body and jumped up and down.

A cursory poke of his cheek yielded no results, and not even peeling his eyes open seemed enough to stir him. He was out for the count… which was a bad thing, considering she'd decided to offer him some training in the early morning – before his lessons started.

How was he supposed to do his lessons when he was unconscious!? Typical lazy man!

Neo huffed and stomped one foot, momentarily forgetting that she was stood atop him until a pained groan came from the heap beneath her. With a roll of her eyes she hooked her hands beneath his arms and started to drag him to his bedroom, struggling with his weight.

Why did everyone have to be so damn big!?

Eventually however she managed to manoeuvre his body into the bedroom, though not without his head bumping against the doorframe a few times. With a mighty huff she tried to life him onto the bed, only to collapse under his weight – with him laying on top of her. Baleful multi-coloured eyes glared into his face as she turned into a ferocious wolverine, clawing and scratching her way to freedom.

Two minutes later saw her panting above his form, which now had a few small scratches to add to the bruises – but a day's rest would no doubt sort that out. Dragging the covers off she tossed them over his form, all she could really do for his comfort as she considered what was to happen now.

Could she forge a sick note for him that might free him from the day's work? That might work… right up until someone checked up on him, as even a blind person could tell he was injured, not sick. Also they had an infirmary at Beacon right? So why wouldn't he go there if he was ill?

Argh… why did he have to be so flimsy!?

"Ughh…" he moaned, right as she flinched and tried to hide the foot which had kicked him once more. Right… maybe better to leave the room before she uh… added to his condition.

Right… no problem, she just needed to text Roman, he would have an idea of what she could do an-

"Jaune, Jaune are you there?" A female voice called through the door, right as it started to open. Neo's eyes widened as she looked left and right, for anything that could help her. But the idiot was still unconscious in the other room!

Neo bit her lip as the door opened.

"There you are," Glynda sighed as she stepped into the room, nodding at her fellow blond. He waved back, though as always he had that slightly nervous expression on his face. It was endearing, in a way. "You didn't forget that I needed your help today did you?"

Jaune looked nervously about the room before shrugging, a vaguely embarrassed expression on his face.

"Never mind," the blonde Deputy sighed as she adjusted her glasses, "I suppose we'll be early anyway." He nodded in agreement, motioning for her to go ahead, but something still didn't feel right about the situation…

"Are you… okay, Jaune?"

The blond man stepped back a little, blue eyes flicking about before he nodded with a smile, pulling one hand to run up and down his throat.

"A sore throat?" She guessed even as he nodded in response. "Do you want to visit Tsune?" A firm shake of the head had her sighing, really he was always too weird around her old friend. "Well if you're okay to teach…" a nod, "just avoid talking then I guess, I'll warn people."

Jaune nodded and held one hand out in a thumbs up, before tilting his head as though in question.

"Oh we'll be doing combat class, I need you to demonstrate for some of the students again." Especially after he'd done such a good job last time of cutting down their hubris. Though, was it her imagination – or did he look a little more… pleased… with the suggestion this time?

Almost malicious…

She was probably imagining it.

Weiss flinched as Yang's fist missed the Professor, sailing past his face as the blonde girl's red eyes widened in dawning horror. Professor Jaune Arc simply nodded slowly, as though disappointed as he stepped past her outstretched fist, spinning on one foot – and in a display of extreme acrobatics, delivering a roundhouse kick to the back of the girl's head.

Yang Xiao-Long, easily one of the best fighters in their year, hit the mat.

And didn't get back up.

"And that," the stern Miss Goodwitch said as she stepped before them all, is a perfect example of how not to fight a superior opponent, now then I believ-" She was cut off as the Professor on the stage stamped one foot loudly on the floor, crooking one finger towards them with a cruel smile on his face. "You want another bout?" Miss Goodwitch asked, even as most of the student body tried to hide behind one another.

Professor Arc nodded happily, even as Weiss heard someone nearby whimper.

"Hmm, well – how about Miss Xiao-Long's partner, Miss Belladonna?" Weiss winced as the disguised faunus' face went white. Only to relax when the Professor shook his head, Blake's form slumped in clear relief. "A full team?" The teacher asked with some surprise, as the male held up four fingers. "I suppose that makes sense, after all – we can't expect a single student to be on your level."

Don't argue, don't argue… Weiss whispered in her own mind, as she held back her pride from speaking out – and getting her in serious trouble. After seeing how casually he dispatched Yang, she wasn't sure their team would even have a chance.

"Ooh, ooh p-" Nora Valkyrie's words were cut off as Lie Ren leapt across the room, with more energy than Weiss ever thought he might have, to clamp his hand over his partner's mouth.

"Team Raven, thank you for volunteering," Glynda nodded as she gestured for the four teens to come up onto the stage. Nora cheered, even as the other three gave her baleful looks. Weiss was just thankful it wasn't them.

"Who are we supposed to cheer for?" Ruby asked from nearby, looking torn between her favourite Professor, and their new friends.

"Whoever keeps us from facing him next," Blake deadpanned, right as the bout started and the four teens charged the Professor. "Maybe Miss Goodwitch."

"I'd err on the side of complete silence," Weiss replied as she winced at the action happening on the stage, "that way she might not notice us."

Because frankly, Weiss Schnee did not want to be in the position Pyrrha Nikos was in right now, which was to say being strangled by her own spear – the shaft of which was locked around her neck. The Professor even turned her into the fire from Ren, using the championship fighter as a human shield to block the aura-infused bullets.

The fight never got any less one-sided from there…

"Neo…" Jaune said dangerously the following day, a tick visible on his forehead. "Would you like to explain why the students have started to whimper whenever I go near them? Or why Miss Xiao-Long has asked if she can put my flexibility to the test?"

Neo shrugged and gave a satisfied smirk.

A short one, sorry about that guys. Like I said, today has been a waster of a day and beyond that I didn't get to do much on the weekend, as I was more focused on finishing the Professor Arc chapter to be released in two weeks - as I guessed (I believe accurately) that you would all care much more about that, than you would this. It's a 12,000 word monster... it just kept growing and growing - ugh!

Anyway, my apologies for the fragmented nature of this chapter -it's basically more of a spattering of omakes than a chapter - and when I get back from this damn holiday I'll be back to better writing as I'll be rested, and all this work stress will be behind me.

The Christmas period is MURDER.