Friday June 14th 2019
Blaine
"Ava, I'm not joking! If you use that word once more then I'm not buying you that doll you want, and you can't go Molly's next week," I say seriously, staring into the angry eyes of my three year old who I've just heard swear for the first time. "I'm serious!" I confirm one last time before closing her bedroom door, leaving her and Molly to carry on playing. Admittedly it wasn't a serious swear word, and I had struggled to stop myself laughing, but I have to make sure she knows it's naughty and she shouldn't be swearing. I do, however, allow myself a small smile as I descend my staircase, turning the corner into the kitchen. Kurt glances up at me from the dining table where he's sat.
It's become a bit of a tradition since Mother's Day for Kurt to come over Friday evenings after he finishes work. The first time it happened, purely by coincidence, he said it reminded him of Friday Family Dinner Nights back in Ohio. Which, although I'll never admit is exactly what I was hoping it would remind him of. When we'd dated his family had included me in everything, made me feel welcome, while my own family shunned and ignored me. The least I could do was return the favour, considering how much he must miss having family nearby.
"What was that about?" he questions, unable to resist smiling as the grin on my face stretches wider, breaking into laughter as I sit back in my seat facing him.
"Ava's discovered swear words," I tell him, smiling and shaking my head in disbelief.
"No way!" he scoffs, "what'd she say?" he's laughing too, evidently also finding the idea of a three year old swearing a little funny.
"'Oh shit!'" I repeat for him, causing him to crack up further, his body rocking back in his chair, eye scrunching up with laughter. "She looked terrified when she realised I'd heard her though," I add, which just makes him laugh harder.
"What'd you do?" he questions, eyes bright with happiness.
"Threatened her with a doll she's wanted for ages," he sniggers even more at that, stomach quivering with each ripple of laughter, and I can't help but join in. We sit like this for a few minutes, occasionally giggling to ourselves, before the peaceful atmosphere is broken by the sound of my phone vibrating against the kitchen counter. I stand; a little confused at who'd ring me on a Friday night. The caller display reads 'Unknown', which only adds to my confusion. I answer it, holding it up to my ear, "Hello?"
"Hey Blaine, it's Phil, I know it's ridiculously short notice, but I'm really desperate, are you free tonight?" I hear pleading in the bar owners voice as I lean against the kitchen counter.
"This is beyond short notice Phil!" I laugh down the line, "and I'd love to, I really would, but I haven't got a babysitter," I explain.
I hear him sigh heavily before speaking again, "what about that young girl who sometimes looks after Ava for you?" he questions.
"She's on holiday," I respond apologetically, because I really am sorry. He's a great guy and has helped me out countless times, getting me singing gigs in his bar when I've needed some extra money. I've actually become a bit of a regular, and often get calls when someone cancels last minute. At first it'd just been because I live within walking distance, but more recently it's been because some of the regulars actually request me.
"Come on Blaine, I really need someone for tonight, we're starting to fill up already, can't you bring Ava along? She can sit behind the bar with me? I'll look after her!"
I laugh, "Are you joking! I can't bring my three year old and have her sit with you behind the bar, are you mental?" I ask jokingly, rubbing my tired eyes with my free hand. "I wish I could help you Phil. I need the money, but there's just no way-" I'm cut off suddenly by Kurt speaking from the table.
"I can look after her," he suggests.
I stare at him for a second, surprised. "One minute Phil," I say down the line before covering the voice piece and lowering it from my mouth. "Are you serious? No offence, but have you ever looked after a child on your own?" I ask, not wanting to sound patronising, but needing reassurance nonetheless.
"Technically? No, but I did look after Finn throughout high school, I can't imagine it being that different," he says jokingly as he smiles up at me. I'm unsure, I trust Kurt emphatically, and I really would love to perform tonight, but can I trust him with my child? He has, after all, only known her a few months.
I bring the phone back up to my ear, "Phil? Can I call you back in a couple minutes?" He agrees reluctantly, making me promise I'll take no more than five. I hang up and stare at Kurt for a second before speaking, "Don't take offence to this Kurt, but I really don't know whether this would be a good idea."
He cocks his head to the side a little in confusion before responding, "A friend needs some help at his bar right?" he asks, and then I realise he doesn't know the situation. I hurry to explain.
"Yeah, there's a bar about ten minutes from here where I sometimes sing and play guitar, just in the background as entertainment, but yeah someone's obviously cancelled last minute and well, yeah…" I finish when he starts nodding in understanding.
"How about, and just hear me out here," he says, spiking my curiosity, "why don't me and Ava come with you, you pop up and do your performance, and I'll just sit with Ava in a quiet corner somewhere, we'll take some colouring crayons or a puzzle or something and I'll just keep her entertained until you're finished?" I'm taken aback, and I probably shouldn't be, but the fact that he's willing to entertain a hyperactive three year old for me on a Friday night makes my heart soar in the strangest way.
"You'd do that for me?" I ask without thinking, averting my gaze as I feel a too familiar blush burn my ears and cheeks.
"Of course," he confirms, eyes not wavering from my own.
"Okay then," I say happily, unable to prevent a huge grin washing over my face as I press Phil's number on my phone. It only takes a second for him to answer, obviously waiting for my response. "I'll be there," I say before he even has a chance to speak.
"You will?" he questions, and I hear the hope in his voice. "Oh god Blaine, thanks so much. I don't know what I'd do without you!" He says, laughing in relief, "What time can you get here for?"
"Err, about eight, half eight? Ava's friends here and I'll have to drop her off at home, and then we'll head straight over. I'm bringing a friend who's going to sit with Ava; can you save him a table?"
"Yeah. Yeah sure, anything you want. I'll see you at eight. Thanks again, I owe you!" He hangs up quickly, but not before I hear him heave a huge sigh of relief. I place my phone on the counter gently before looking up to meet Kurt's oceanic eyes. They're sparkling, and I'm suddenly struck by how beautiful they are; a million different shades of blue and green and grey mixing together exactly like the ocean, and just as powerful. They can shimmer like the calmest sea or burn with the full force of the most powerful storm; they can push me to the safety of shore, or drag me deep into an inescapable hell.
"What?" He asks after a moment of me staring thoughtfully into his enthralling eyes.
"Nothing," I say quickly, blinking a few times to clear my mind. "I need to get Molly home," I say, more to myself than to him before pushing myself away from the counter and moving towards the hall, eager to get away from him long enough to sort out my thoughts. I shout up to the girls and after a short argument with Ava, I leave with the older girl, leaving Ava and Kurt alone, him promising to have her calmed down and ready to leave when I get home.
Forty minutes later I'm letting myself in home, which is surprisingly quite and calm considering when I left Ava had been lying on the floor throwing a tantrum. "Kurt?" I call out, peering into the living room.
"Upstairs!" his unmistakable voice shouts. I frown a little, wondering what they could be doing upstairs as I begin to head up. I find them both in Ava's room, Kurt sitting squashed on her tiny bed while she rummages through her wardrobe, extracting various items of clothing to show him with pride. "Oh, definitely that one! It's so pretty," he coos as she holds a sparkly dress against her body and twirls in front of him. He looks up at me where I stand in the doorway, "Don't get jealous, we've already picked you some clothes," he teases.
"You have?" I ask, my voice rising in confusion.
"They're on your bed," he tells me, turning back to Ava, pointing at her most sparkly shoes.
"You… you went through my clothes? In my bedroom?" I speak slowly, and realise too late that I sound like an idiot, because where else would he have got my clothes from?
"Yeah… is that okay? It was Ava's idea, I said we'd pick her some pretty clothes to wear and she suggested sorting yours out first," he smiles up at me after glancing towards the girl in question, who's currently struggling with the laces of her shoes.
"Urm, yeah it's fine I just… Yeah it's fine," I finish dumbly, shaking my head at my own stupidity. "Let me do them Av," I offer, stepping forward to help.
"I'll do it," Kurt cuts in swiftly, sliding off the bed to kneel beside her, tugging the laces gently from her angry little fists, swiftly tying them in bows with his long fingers. "You could never do it right anyway," he jokes, turning to look at me from where he's kneeling a few feet away from where I'm stood. His eyes focus on the knotted laces of the shoes I haven't bothered to take off, before they trail quickly up the entire length of my body, finally resting on my eyes. He smirks teasingly and stands up in front of me, swiftly yet gracefully.
My eyes don't move from his, watching them roam over my body, watching them come to rest on my own eyes, watching them as he stares at me as he stands up, now towering a few inches above me, and far too close. I can smell his unfamiliar cologne. Almost taste his skin. Can he see the lust burning in my eyes? Does he know that for the last month every thought that's raced though my mind has been about him, that I want nothing more than to taste every inch of his delicious skin? Nothing more than to push him roughly against the closest wall and ravish his lips, his body? Nothing more than to fuck him until he can't see straight, let alone walk?
I step back instinctively as these overwhelming thoughts swarm my already overloaded mind, my back collides with a wall and I become frighteningly aware of the fact that I'm stuck between his warm, lithe body and cold brick. "I should erm," I gulp, eyes falling from his to trace down his long neck, resting on his prominent collarbones, "go and change then," I tell him awkwardly, before sliding out of the room as quickly as my shaking legs can take me, not quite quick enough to miss his light chuckle.
I dash into the safety of my bedroom and slam the door behind me, pressing my back to it and rubbing my slightly shaking hands at my disbelieving eyes and flushed cheeks. He will be the death of me, I tell myself over and over as I try to calm my beating heart. After a few deep breaths I dare to open my eyes and move towards my bed, which has a pile of carefully folded clothes on. Without really registering what they are I pull them on, glancing quickly in the mirror as I head towards the door.
I stop abruptly, hand outstretched to the door as I gape at my reflection. A single, disbelieving laugh erupts, loud and shocked from my mouth, then suddenly I hear Kurt's memorable giggle stuttering behind my closed door.
"I can't believe you!" I shout. Shock and embarrassment evident in my voice as I stride towards my wardrobe and sling the doors open, angrily pulling the cardigan off my shoulders as I look for a new t-shirt.
"Can I see?" He asks through laughter from the other side of the door. "Please?" I hear him beg as I turn just in time to see the door handle creak down.
"No!" I scream, lunging towards the door to hold it closed. But I'm too slow, or maybe he's just too fast, because before I've even taken one whole stride he's swung the door open and bolted in. His eyes fall over my body, lingering on the t-shirt which I'm unfortunately still wearing before looking me in the eye. He erupts into laughter at the look on my face, a look of shock, anger and embarrassment, all of which is soon over shadowed by laughter when I can't resist joining in. "Get out!" I demand, moving towards him to push him forcefully towards the still open door.
"No way!" he manages through laughter, "I'm not letting you change, you have to wear it!"
"I don't think so Kurt, now get out while I change," I respond, trying to act angry through my laughter. He shakes his head at me while grinning widely. He's a lot stronger than he looks, and impossible to move, pushing against him with all my strength he doesn't budge an inch, despite occasionally being overtaken by giggles when he catches another look at the slogan blazoned across my chest. "Fine!" I huff in defeat, striding away from him and towards my wardrobe.
"You'll wear it?" he asks enthusiastically, moving to sit on my bed behind me.
"Erm… No!" I reply scathingly, rummaging through my clothes desperately before settling on a faded blue and white striped top. I turn to face Kurt, new t-shirt in hand; we look at each other for a second before he defiantly shakes his head, signalling no, he is not going to leave. I shrug at him and without a seconds hesitation pull the 'Likes Boys'top over my head, replacing it with the new, less eye catching shirt.
As I tug it over my head and flatten it over my chest I could swear I see his eyes linger a little too long at the waistband of my jeans, hanging low on my hips, before they dart swiftly up to my eyes. I can still see laughter burning fiercely in his pupils. "Doesn't look as good," he comments shaking his head in mock disapproval. I push at him playfully as I snatch up my cardigan, heading towards the door. "Why've you still got it anyway?" he asks, not unkindly but curiously as he follows me. "I thought I'd lost it," he adds.
"Ava, are you ready?" I shout towards her door as I descend the stairs, turning to answer Kurt when I reach the bottom. "I found it in my dorm after-" I stop abruptly, our eyes locking, "when I was packing," I quickly try to remedy. He nods, "I didn't have the heart to throw it out at the time," I tell him truthfully with a shrug, to which he responds with a smile. Talking about our past is becoming increasingly easier, and I'm grateful.
"But… why still have it now? I mean, it was already out on your bed," he questions, and I can see he's genuinely inquisitive.
"Ava!" I shout up the stairs again, having received no response the first time, before settling my attention back on Kurt. "I sleep in it sometimes," I say without thinking, because it's normal to me. His eyes widen in surprise as he silently questions my sanity. "Not in a weird way!" I hasten to add upon seeing the look on his face, "Not because it was yours!" I assure him, "It's just, it's still a little big for me and well; it's cosy… and soft."
He laughs, opening his mouth to speak before we're interrupted by Ava dashing down the stairs at a hundred miles an hour. "I'm really excited!" she exclaims, grabbing both our hands in hers and dragging us towards the door.
When we reach Phil's bar, which is aptly named, Phil's Bar, we're greeted by the man himself, waiting nervously for us. "Blaine!" He shouts when he sees us approaching. I introduce Kurt quickly as he ushers us in, pointing Ava and Kurt in the direction of a slightly secluded table with a reservedsign on it. They sit down as I'm unceremoniously pushed onto the small stage, guitar thrust into my waiting arms. I glance towards where I know Kurt's sitting, and see him happily talking to a waitress, no doubt ordering drinks as Ava pulls paper and crayons from her bag.
I smile before I start playing; mainly choosing songs I know are to most peoples taste, and occasionally taking requests. Every so often I let my eyes wander over to Kurt's table, watching him covertly as he colours in pictures with my daughter, seeing him take her tiny hand in his to show her how to draw something she's struggling with. Every so often he raises his wine glass to his lips and takes a sip, occasionally catching my eye and smiling encouragingly.
Time passes quickly, as it always does when I'm enjoying performing. The bar's packed, people having flooded in, stood lining the walls. The air is warm and thick, stuffy with mingled body heat, the sound of laughter blending together pleasantly with happy conversation, filling the large but cramped room. Phil hands me a fresh, ice cold pint of water, and I gulp it down desperately, thanking him.
"Okay, this is my last song," I say into the microphone, eliciting a collective groan and playful 'boo!'from the collection of people crushed into the bar. "I do have a little girl to get into bed!" I retaliate laughing, motioning towards Ava. Glancing in her direction myself I see that at some point after returning to the stage after my short break, unbeknown to me, she's crawled onto Kurt's lap and fallen fast asleep, her head buried cosily into the crook of his neck, a tiny hand grasping the collar of his jacket. I hear a few awh'sat the image of my daughters sleeping frame. My eyes lock with Kurt's, who blushes under the intense gaze of so many heads turning towards him.
I laugh lightly at his expression before glancing at my watch, pushing it further up my arm where it fits better, it having slipped down my sweaty skin sometime during the night. It reads just before mid night. I sigh heavily, accepting another glass of water which I drink from before putting it on a nearby table. Running my hand through my hair habitually I'm surprised to find it wet, sweat dripping down my skin, my hand laces around my neck as I feel beads slide slowly down my temple, dripping from my jaw. Self conscious of my less than put together appearance I raise the bottom hem of my top to try and dry some sweat from my face.
An expertly produced wolf whistle rings loudly through the bar, setting off a series of girly giggles throughout the cramped room. I glance up smiling, scanning the nearby tables, my eyes locking with a young pretty woman with shining green eyes and long dark hair. She winks at me coquettishly, eyes flickering down to my still exposed torso before tracing an obvious line up my chest, over my shoulders and settling on my face before an impish grin spreads over her face. I smile back a little flirtatiously as I straighten my shirt over my body; sitting up properly and picking my guitar back up. Resting it on my knee I curl my hands around it, and begin strumming the opening rhythm to a song I'm surprised I still remember, one or two people cheer upon recognising it, before the piano player joins in and I start to sing, my eyes focused on the neck of the guitar.
"A lovestruck Romeo, sings the streets of serenade / Laying everybody low with a love song that he made / Find a streetlight, steps out of the shade," looking up into the crowd, I lock eyes with the wolf whistling young woman as I sing the next line, leaning towards her playfully, "says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"" I wink playfully and watch as a smirk spreads across her face, accompanied by a light blush.
Glancing back down as my fingers move, I inwardly laugh at my behaviour, if only she knew, "Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack" / He's underneath the window, she's singing / "Hey, la, my boyfriend's back" / You shouldn't come around here, singing up at people like that," I look back up at the audience, many of them talking amongst themselves, others listening happily while a few sing or mouth along. "Anyway what you gonna do about it?" I sing the final line of that verse, my voice growing more confident, as my fingers move faster to keep up with the increasing tempo.
"Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start / And I bet, and you exploded in my heart / And I forget, I forget, the movie song / When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong? Juliet" I look back down at my guitar as I strum out the few seconds of melody, before looking up again and continuing singing.
"Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame / Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same / Then I dream your dream for you, and now your dream is real"Unintentionally my eyes fall on Kurt who's smiling wistfully at me. I smile back, but sadly, realising just how much this song could be applied to us. "How can you look at me, as if I was just another one of your deals?" A thought that's plagued me for weeks now races through my mind; to Kurt, am I just an ex? Not a first love, or a real love, or anything significant, but just one of many ex's?
I shake the thought from my mind as I sing the next line, "You can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold"Locking eyes once again with the green eyed woman for the next line as I smile, "You can fall for pretty strangers, and the promises they hold." And as much as I try to stop my head moving in his direction, as much as I try to not make eye contact, it's no use; the next line I sing straight to Kurt, his eyes widening in surprise, "You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah / Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know, / I used to have a scene with him""
I force myself to look away, but just because my eyes aren't trained on him doesn't mean the words aren't for him. "Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry / I said, "I love you like the stars above, I love you till I die" / And there's a place for us, you know the movie song / When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet"
"I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV, / And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be, / I can't do everything,"I fail tremendously as my eyes once again find his now tear filled blue ones in a crowd of strangers,"but I'd do anything for you / I can't do anything 'cept be in love with you."
This time it's his turn to avert his eyes, forcing them onto the old worn table in front of him, and I watch as he lifts the arm that isn't tucked around Ava and wipes furiously at his eyes. But I continue to sing, reluctant to look away, "And all I do is miss you, and the way we used to be,"he glances up quickly at that line, our eyes connecting, him cocking his head to the side questioningly, no doubt wondering whether I mean it. And I really do mean it, I suddenly realise as I sing the next couple of lines, "All I do is keep the beat, the bad company / And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme / Juliet, I'd do the stars with you, any time"
Finally I drag my eyes away from him, looking over the crowd instead as I repeat the final verses, but no matter where I look I can still feel him watching me intensely, scrutinising the song lyrics. "Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry / I said, "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die" / And there's a place for us, you know the movie song / When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?"
"A lovestruck Romeo, he sings the streets of serenade / Laying everybody low with a love song that he made / Find a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade / He says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"
I can't resist a shy glance in his direction as I sang the last line, before averting my gaze to the guitar as my fingers effortlessly strum out the last few dying notes.
The majority of the crowd claps or cheers as I step down from the stage, smiling my thanks and making my way over to Phil who's motioning to me. I feel a strong hand clamp down on my shoulder as I push through the crowd. I turn, expecting to see Kurt, but am surprised to come face to face with the flirty woman from earlier.
"Hey," she purrs, stepping forward, far too close, her eyes dark. "You're quite something else," she grins, her hand moving from my shoulder to tangle in my hair. Laughing nervously I try to gently extract her hand, but she has a tight grip as she pulls my face in close to hers, pressing her slender body against mine. "Call me sometime," she whispers seductively, her lips inches from my ear, I jump slightly as I feel a cold hand slide easily into the back pocket of my jeans, before she pulls away, setting me free, smirking and waltzing away.
I'm frozen, watching her retreating figure, before Phil's voice brings me back to reality. "Hey Blaine, that was great, here's your money," he presses a wad of notes into my hand and thumps me on the shoulder. "I'd love to stop and chat but they need me behind the bar, thanks again mate," he thumps me again and walks away. I slip the money into my pocket and stretch my neck to try and find Kurt. I see his table, now empty but for his empty wine glass. Frowning slightly I make my way to the door, assuming he must be waiting outside. And sure enough he is, stood a few feet away, leaning against a low wall away from the smokers, Ava still fast asleep on his chest, her legs wrapped loosely around his waist. I shout and gesture him over. He stands slowly, careful not to wake the sleeping child, and wanders over to me.
He grins at sleepily as we began to walk back to my house, falling into step together. "D'you want me to take her?" I offer, stretching my arms out to take Ava.
"No, it's fine, honest," he assures me, jumping her further up his body, her head lolling peacefully on his shoulder. I drop my arms awkwardly, unsure of what to do with them. We walk in silence, the night surprisingly quiet and warm, and I'm shocked to discover the atmosphere between us is not at all awkward, just a little strained, for lack of a better word. We walk slower than usual, mostly due to exhaustion, but partly because we're in no rush to leave each others company.
"If you'd worn the top I chose for you, that woman wouldn't have come onto you," he says suddenly, breaking the silence which had easily stretched to five minutes. I look round swiftly, trying to decipher his tone, is he angry? Or jealous possibly? But he seems neither, just smiling pensively out of the corner of his eye at me, and I smile back, laughing lightly.
"Yeah maybe," I agree, glancing down at the ground, a smug smile gracing my lips. Neither of us speaks again until we reach home. I flick on the hall light as we walk in, the sudden brightness startling Ava's sleeping form, her eyes blink open groggily and focus quickly on me. Stretching her arms out as she leans towards me. I take her willingly, and as soon as her weight's lifted from Kurt's arms he shakes them loose and stretches them over his head. My mind reels back to Mother's day when he'd stretched out so temptingly in front of me at the park, and my eyes automatically dart to those few exposed inches of creamy flesh stretched between his hip bones, just as they had that day. This time however he doesn't notice my leering; his eyes squeezed shut as he yawns.
"I'll just take her up to bed," I tell him. He nods quickly, eyes still tight shut as a huge shaking breath escapes his lungs as his yawn comes to a close. His eyes open and he smiles at me. "You'll wait?" I ask with a little hesitation, unsure of what he'll think of my request. But he simply nods again in response, making his way into the living room as I dart up stairs, Ava already nodding back to sleep against my chest.
I managed to get her to stand upright as I remove her shoes and pull her sparkling dress over her head, then with some difficulty I wrestle her sleepy form into her pyjamas before tucking her gently into bed, kissing her lightly on her head and wishing her sweet dreams, even though she's already fast asleep.
I dash back down the stairs, halting briefly on the bottom step to take a deep breath to try and calm my thumping heart and racing thoughts. Heading towards the living room door I notice with some confusion that Kurt hasn't bothered to turn any lights on, why is he sat in darkness? I walk in and turn, my eyes instantly falling on him. He's lying on his right side on the sofa facing the fireplace; head nearest to me while his feet lie still flat on the floor, nearer to the window where he must've originally sat. I move round to stand in front of him properly. He's tucked his right arm under his head, which in turn rests on the arm rest, his left arm held against his chest, hand gripping his own neck. His chest rises slowly, rhythmically, hypnotisingly. I have to physically resist the urge to reach my hand out and wrap it around his slim waist, the urge to lie by his side, the urge to whisper eight years worth of apologies and regrets and sorrows into his soft skin.
Instead I make my way to the windows and pull the curtains closed, shutting out the bright white moonlight which shines on his pale skin. Picking up a blanket which lies folded on the arm chair pressed into the bay window. I unfurl it over him, picking his legs up to rest them on the sofa, lightly unlacing his boots and tugging them off. I straighten the blanket over him, tucking it in behind him and around his legs, before moving to tuck it in at the front, working my way up his body. I press it beneath his thigh, his hip, his shoulder, before looking up into his face.
Only a few inches separate us, his expression's serene and almost child-like, long eyelashes flickering softly against the pillows of his cheeks as he dreams, lips pulled up at the sides into a small smile. I lean down slowly, silently, careful not to disturb him as I press a tender kiss to his forehead, my lips barely grazing his soft skin before moving slowly to hover a centimetre from his ear, simultaneously tracing one finger lightly against his soft hair as I whisper, "sweet dreams Kurt," my voice hardly making a sound against the pressing silence of night.
Then I force myself to stand and move towards the door, knowing deep down that I want nothing more than to curl up beside him and dream. I step out after one last glance at his sleeping form, pulling the door shut before I hear his response, faint and muffled with sleep, "sweet dreams, Blaine.