"Jessica, could I have a word with you in my office please?" Carlisle asked quite seriously
She had just stepped out of a patients room to see him stood in the corridor waiting for her. 'Oh crap' was her first thought. There was none of the usual friendliness she had come to expect from the Doctor and it made her wonder what she had done wrong.
Shaking slightly Jessica sat down on the chair opposite her boss. The Doctor's room was filled with contemporary design. The colour scheme was pale and reflected the light from the rather small window giving it a much brighter feel. Jessica sat on a chair of moulded plastic that was strangely very comfortable. She imagined it looked a lot more suited to some futuristic sci-fi movie than in the middle of this small town, but it had a relaxing feel to it.
"I've just had a call from HR" he said as his lips closed into a tight line. Jessica felt her head drop and she looked to the floor. He didn't need to say anymore, she knew why she had been called to his office.
"They tell me you've handed in your notice" he continued and Jessica still couldn't look at him.
"I'm your boss, you bring things like that to me"
She knew this. It was wishful thinking that she could avoid this situation. Having to explain herself in person was so much harder.
"I know, I'm sorry. Have you read the letter?" she asked
"No, I haven't read it, I haven't seen it, I wish it didn't even exist" he replied with a slight edge to his voice that Jessica had not heard before.
"I want to know why I'm soon to be a nurse short. A really good nurse that is going to be very hard to replace?"
Hell, that made Jessica feel even worse. She looked around his office, glancing at modern art on the walls trying to glean some calming influence from them while she tried to explain.
"You knew when I arrived here that I'm a bit of a nomad. I like to travel around and experience different places" she told him
"I think I have just outstayed my welcome here and it's time I moved on".
Carlisle shook his head. He knew she was lying. He was sure the real reason was that she had been running away from an ex husband, who had almost managed to find her some months earlier. Carlisle also knew that Charlie Swan had kept close tabs on the guy's whereabouts. The Chief had used his contacts to track his movements and they knew Frank Cooper was currently a good thousand miles away somewhere near North Dakota and heading further east every week. He wasn't coming back, not any time soon anyway. With that fact in mind it was clear that was not the reason Jessica was leaving Forks, something else must have happened.
Jessica sat in silence while Doctor Cullen stared at her, eyes narrowed. It was obvious he hadn't believed her 'nomad' story and he looked like he was trying to decipher the reason. She hated that he always seemed to be able to tell what she was thinking.
He sighed sadly. "I always thought that you were just moving around until you found somewhere you could make a home. I was hoping Forks was that place. You have friends here who will miss you, Jessica!"
His guilt trip wouldn't work on her, she had made her mind up to move on and that's what was happening.
The Doctor leaned forward and looked at if he was about to say something that made him uncomfortable. Jessica watched his mouth open and close a couple of times while he summoned the courage to speak it.
"Are you leaving because of…. Charlie Swan?" he asked quickly, on a breath he seemed to be holding.
The best thing Jessica could do would be to deny, deny, deny. But the Doctor's comments had come as such a shook she was unable to control the tear that fell down her cheek. And wasn't that just the admission she didn't want to give. The Doctor leaned back into his chair letting out a big sigh.
"The thing you don't know about me is, I have a bit of a bad history with men" Jessica began, suddenly feeling the need to come clean about her reasons for leaving.
"I've had a bit of a difficult time these last few years and I finally thought I found a good man even though I wasn't really looking for one. Charlie is a good man, but….he's broken. I think his ex wife really did a number on him" she took a minute to wipe the tear from her cheek and check if the Doctor was interested in anything she was saying. He sat quietly and nodded for her to continue.
"He doesn't think he is broken, that's the problem. I…I think he likes me but won't let me in, won't let me get close". Another tear fell from her green eyes and Carlisle passed a tissue her way.
"I'm not the most put together person myself, and I'm not a very strong person Doc, when I come up against a problem, I run away. It's… how I cope. As pathetic as it might sound to you, everything in this town reminds me of the Chief and I'm struggling to handle it. I need to leave" She finished, pulling at the tissue in her hands
Carlisle wanted to shout at her and tell her that running away was not an acceptable way to deal with this problem. There were enough people in town to help her get through this, but who was he to tell her how to cope. He didn't know what had happened to her in the past, he could only guess. Maybe this was the best option for her. But out of everything that had been said in that office the thing that was most clear was that Charlie Swan was an idiot.
"Your resignation is on hold. I want you to take a couple of days to think about your life here and reconsider. I don't want to loose you as a nurse or as a friend" he told her
She nodded mainly because it would get her out of the office faster. Too much personal information had spilled from her lips over that last hour and it made her feel naked and a little scared. She thanked the doctor for his time and left to get back to work.
It was proving hard to get her mind back on work after that conversation, but she had another 2 hours left on her shift and lots of things needed doing. Striding down the corridor towards the nurses lounge she wiped her weepy eyes one last time and came face to face with the chief.
It seemed 'her friend' the Doctor had phoned Charlie minutes before hauling her into his office. It had been the first time she had seen in since the kiss and he looked pretty angry.