Chapter 10

"So tell me, what happened when we were looking for the Shandian Chief?" They had been walking for a little while, and Sanji had kept his eye out for the thread as they walked, and used the pull of it as a compass to guide them through the forest. He had pondered upon how strange it had been to watch the younger versions of Luffy and Ace, as well as the other kid, Sabo, fighting; it was like it had been second nature for them. They hadn't exactly had any coordination with their attacks, but still, they had worked well together, Sabo and Ace more so than Luffy. And he had wondered how that was, if Luffy had known Ace his whole life, their teamwork should have been stronger. In the end he had given up making any sense of it, and instead thought back to the conversation he and the Shepherd had had before he had found the thread, effectively cutting the old man off for praising him further.

"Ah, so you still wish to hear the story?" The Shepherd smiled at him, "Well, it was not the first on our list, so you knew how to find him faster, but we still had to go through a few of his memories. The first one had been the Chief and a few other Shandian Warriors fighting against Gan Fall's army close to the edge of the forest. The Shandians had been using their rather crude weapons, and the Divine Squad their more refined dial weapons. It was not a very long fight, and neither came away from it a victor. I believe you have heard about the war between them that has been going on for centuries?"

Sanji thought back to their time on Skypiea and he remembered vaguely of hearing about a war like that, though he didn't remember who had told him about it. "Yeah I did, it was a war on who was the rightful owner of the land, Upper Yard or something, right?"

The Shepherd nodded gravely, "Yes, after half of Jaya had been shot into the sky by the knock-up-stream, the Shandians had been cast out of their homeland and it had been taken over by the Skypeans. The Shandian's of course wanted to find their home again, the city of Shandora, but they were never able to find it, and had been thwarted in their attempts several times. Resentment between the two societies grew with each fight, as one would expect. The Skypeans of course obtained knowledge of the mythical city at some point, and soon it had become a race to see who would find it first as well, and so the war became even fiercer between them."

Sanji saw a brief image of a fight between the two races, but he wasn't sure if it was a memory from three years ago, or if it was from when he was a kid. What had caught his eye however, was the pure hatred between them. "I do remember some sort of fight between them, the hatred between them was palpable."

"Yes, you were, dare I say, quite scared at that moment, I believe you had never seen fighting like that. Even in all your time as part of the Germa 66." The Shepherd's eyes were suddenly downcast, "I am sorry to bring up your childhood like that, I shall try to refrain from speaking about it again."

Sanji had felt cold dread run down his spine at the mention of his childhood again, it was something he had tried to forget for so long, but these memories was bringing a lot of them back. He knew it was a big part of who he had become as a person, but he wished they would have stayed buried in the back of his mind. This whole ordeal was making that harder and harder. "Thanks for the sentiment, and I'd appreciate it if you could, it's enough that Ace's memories are bringing that shit back."

"I see," The Shepherd nodded solemnly.

Before he could say anything more on the subject however, they arrived at the edge of the forest and Sanji gasped. In front of them was a mountain range filled with what could only be an immense amount of trash. "What is this place?" He asked in horror.

"This is-," The Shepherd narrowed his eyes as he looked at what was in front of them, "The Grey Terminal."

Sanji couldn't take his eyes away from the appalling scene in front of him, and he hadn't missed the barely contained anger in the Shepherd's voice. "The Grey Terminal?"

"Yes, this is where all undesirable things and-." His voice quaked, "and people- reside, in the Great Kingdom of Goa." He spat the last words in disgust, and Sanji couldn't help staring at him wide eyed. He would never have believed the Shepherd to have such an intense reaction to anything.

"The Kingdom of Goa? I've never heard about it." He looked back to the mountains of trash again, there were no people there as far as he could see. Then through the haze of fog he could see an enormous wall with a gigantic gate, and he couldn't help his jaw from falling open. As he strained his eyes to take it all in, something caught his eye. There was something faintly shining in the distance, and he could feel the pull of the spirit thread going in that direction as well. "I think I've found it-," He said gruffly, "Come on."

Sanji glanced at the Shepherd as they started to make their way down the slope towards the bottom of the hill; he noticed how the old man's hands were balled into fists, and how they were shaking ever so slightly. He was about to ask him about it, but before he could open his mouth however, the Shepherd started to speak, his voice laced with grief.

"I have forgotten how long I have been in the service of the Crone, it must be at least a millennia by now." He looked up at the sky for a brief moment. "I have helped many pass through the veil on Samhain during that time. I have found the ones on my list, and rarely cared if they were a beggar or a noble. Many centuries ago I visited this place for the first time, and I have done so many times since." His eyes shone with fury and despair as they walked on a makeshift street through the rubble, "I have walked through memories filled with war and destruction, seen what most consider to be the worst of human nature, but they are wrong, this is the worst. The Great Kingdom of Goa, home to the most despicable kind of humans that exist, next to the Celestial Dragons that is," He spat the words out like they were poison, "They call this the cleanest and most beautiful Kingdom in all of East Blue."

"Could have fooled me," Sanji grunted as he focused on the pull from the thread, having lost sight of its light due to all the rubble around them.

"Aesthetically, the Town Center and especially the High Town located within the city beyond the wall in front of us, is beautiful, and revoltingly clean. It is where the royal palace is located and it is where the nobility lives." He didn't try to hide his look of disgust as he said it.

"So, what? They just dump all their shit out here, and let the less fortunate live in this hellhole?" Sanji narrowed his eyes as he looked around again. He couldn't really say he was surprised, class separation like this was normal all across the world. Here it was just a lot more visible than other places.

"Yes, as I said, everything that is deemed undesirable is thrown out here."

"And this has been going on for centuries?" Sanji felt his resentment towards all nobles rise as he thought about it.

"That is right, and once every third decade they will burn it down, at the arrival of the Celestial Dragons inspection of the Kingdom."

Sanji stopped dead in his track, "THEY DO WHAT?" he roared.

The Shepherd nodded, some of his anger replaced by a deep sorrow, "The last time it happened was twelve years ago."

"And what happens to all the people living here?" Sanji asked through clenched teeth.

"They die." It was such a short answer, but Sanji felt it shake him to the core.

"You're telling me-," He breathed hard, "that because those repulsing excuses for human beings come to visit, they destroy all this along with its people?"

"Yes." The Shepherd nodded sadly. "They think of everything out here in the Grey Terminal to be trash, even the people who reside in it."

"And-," Sanji was seething, "the last time it happened was when Luffy lived here?"

"That is correct," The Shepherd looked up at the sky and nodded, before he turned his head down to look at him again. Sanji could see the tears that were brimming in his eyes. "As I do not think we will see that particular memory, I suppose it will not hurt telling you that Ace and Luffy was caught in the fire, and barely escaped with their lives."

Sanji, taken off guard by the deep sadness in his eyes before he said it, just stood there stunned at the words he had just heard. "Wha- What?" He managed to croak out. When the Shepherd didn't say anything however, he felt hot fury surge through his body, "THEY WERE HERE?"

The Shepherd looked away from him and stared in the direction of the gate, still with that sad expression on his face, before he nodded solemnly, "I am afraid so. They were even tricked into helping set out boxes of gunpowder and other explosives throughout the area, not knowing what they were doing."

"WHAT?" Sanji raged. Fire licking up his feet as the fury boiled inside him.

"It was either that or torture, and they had no way of escaping their captors. So Ace took the deal to protect your captain from harm. Their captors however had no intention of letting them go after they had upheld their end of the bargain, and tied them up to be killed by the flames. But they managed to escape. Though alive, they did not come away from it unscathed." The Shepherd said grimly.

Sanji had started moving again, only so he wouldn't start kicking at random objects that were around them. He couldn't even find the words to express himself any more, and for the first time in his life, he wished the marimo was there so that he could have something to take his outrage out on.

The Shepherd, though old, moved next to him, keeping up with the speed of his gait easily. "I do understand your anger, but it is in the past, and there is nothing we, or anyone, can do to change what happened that day." He said dejectedly.

"I know that!" Sanji spat at him, "That doesn't make it any better!"

He followed the tugging of the thread at a brisk pace. He was furious, how can anyone be so despicable that they would burn people alive? It's unforgivable! He growled as he thought of the Celestial Dragons they had seen on Sabaody and how they had treated their slaves, and about Camie who was going to be sold to them. And then of Hatchi, who was shot only because he was a fishman. Luffy's unbridled rage towards them made a lot more sense now, if he had lived through that hell when he was younger. He chewed on his cigarette. He hated nobles, he always had. Ever since he was a kid. He gritted his teeth at the memories. This fucking search is going to kill me!

As they neared the gate Sanji could see the thread coiling around a cart not far from it. The walk had helped to calm him somewhat, but he was still angry. As he moved closer to the thread he felt his heart quicken its pace a little. He knew that the next memory would probably be a happy one, but he couldn't stop imagining how it must have looked like to be trapped in the fire, and a small part of him feared that if he touched the thread it would hurl him into it.

The Shepherd came up behind him, "Your fears are not unreasonable, but you are not stepping lightly anymore, we need to be careful with our thoughts, lest they bleed and become true. Remember, let your gait be firm, but not too hard."

"Lovely," Sanji said sarcastically, "And how do you propose I stop doing that?"

"By knowing that whatever we see, we have no control over, and that we are here to find Ace, not rescue him. Your fear of seeing the fire is not unreasonable, but it is your fear of being unable to help that is harmful to our search." The Shepherd had his eyes downcast, "It is my fear as well, my inability to help, but I have learned to control it, to not let it bleed into my thoughts."

"Well, you've had eons to do that, I've had, what? Half a day?" Sanji huffed, "Cut me some slack."

"I would if I could, but, contrary to what you might believe, we do not have all the time in the world. You must master your emotions or we will fail." The Shepherd looked at the gate and narrowed his eyes at it. "You may not like this place after what I told you, but your anger towards it will never be as deep as mine. And yet I do not let that anger bleed. You do well to remember that."

Sanji scowled at the old man before he looked back at the thread, master my emotions, easy for you to say. He let out an exasperated sigh, "Fine!"

He took a deep breath and held it; he could still feel the fury raging within himself. The need to hurt someone, a noble preferably, pulsed through his body. Again, he wished the marimo head was there so he could take his anger out on someone who could match his fighting. He gritted his teeth at the thought. He was being weak; the crew needed him to be strong, to be the tactician in their fights. The one who was able to see what needed to be done, and not charge in head first, feet blazing, that was Luffy and the mosshead's job. He let the breath he had been holding out slowly. He needed to calm down, to think rationally. If finding Ace would help Luffy heal, that was more important than his anger at something that happened in the past. He needed to focus on what needed to be done, his duty towards the Crone, and his vow to help Luffy. He took another deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling the tension in his body slowly ebb away. He was here to do one thing, find Ace and make sure he met with Luffy on Samhain; he needed to remember that.

"Good," The Shepherd nodded, "Please do your best to hold onto that focus going forward, you may be young, but you are not a young boy anymore, I refuse to be your conscience and guide you through this by holding your hand."

Sanji nodded and stretched out his hand to touch the thread, "I'll remember it."

AN:

So, what do you think about the trip down memory lane so far? I'm not going to be showing every memory, there are enough fic's out there who do that already. But I still hope you'll enjoy my take on a memory-watching-fic.

And as always, please fav/follow and or leave a comment if you like it. I'd love to hear what you think about it. I also don't mind any criticism if you have some.