x.

I awoke with a start, and suddenly, the hands that normally felt safe were simply binding me. I was trapped, and I didn't know how to escape. My breathing was coming back in heavy pants, as I tried to push myself out of their grips. Images from my dream replayed in my head like a movie I didn't want to see.

"Come on, Evangeline? You thought we loved you? You? What makes you special, huh? You're just a weak, little human girl. You won't even drink from the bottle, will you? Too goddamn weak. You're pathetic." The boys circled around me as Dwayne's voice rang out, his heavenly voice turned sour and taunting.

Dwayne stirred a bit, his eyes opening ever so slowly. They looked at me through hazy, sleep-driven eyes that didn't seem to understand my thrashing completely. "Princess, what are you doing?" I could barely make out the sounds like he was behind a wall of glass.

"Can't believe you actually fell for it. What do you have to offer? We could get someone like you off the street in a second," David spoke, his voice menacing, more terrifying than Dwayne's.

I let out another cry, trying to pull myself from him, but he simply pulled me back, trying to soothe me. I couldn't hear the words. I couldn't hear anything, my mind focused on the images in my head.

"Why do you think we brought Star? She could easily replace you, and it's not like anyone would notice you missing. You're a nobody. You said it yourself," Paul's voice taunted. He shook his head like he couldn't believe something I had said.

"Babe," a soft, groggy voice questioned, and I barely made out the feeling of Marko sitting up, his body still above mine as Paul rolled over, waking up slowly. "Babe?" His voice was concerned. I could hear it quivering lightly as I screamed for them to let me go.

"We didn't love you, Evangeline. Never have, never will. You're just a quick fuck," Marko's voice flicked out the final word teasingly, and I let tears fall down my face at the boys surrounding me. I broke down, unable to control my emotions. Everything was true. Every single thing.

"Oh, now the whore's crying," Paul questioned, leaning forward a bit, a wicked grin on his face.

I cried a pathetic cry, my chest heaving as David moved, holding down my arms at Dwayne's command. "She's going to hurt herself if she keep this up," Dwayne had stated, worry clear in his voice. I had barely registered my arms scratching at my skin before they pulled them away. I was a whore. I needed to get them off of me. I needed to get the touches off. It was too much.

"Pathetic," Dwayne stated simply.

I felt someone running their hand through my hair, trying to calm me as everyone held down one of my limbs. My breathing was labored, puffs of oxygen barely entering and leaving my body. Tears were running down my face like a river. "Let me go," I yelled, trying to pull away.

"We can't do that, doll." That was David's voice. "Come on, it's going to be okay. Calm down, breathe," he instructed, his voice oddly calming. I shouldn't listen to him. I shouldn't listen to any of them. They don't love me. They don't. They don't. They don't.

I tried following breathing techniques I used to have to use in high school when I had panic attacks. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight. Repeat. I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to calm down, trying to block out the dream with the sound of their voices surrounding me, seemingly soft whispers of encouragement bleeding through my body.

I felt myself begin to calm down, my tears turning from waterfalls to soft rivers, barely there. Their grips loosened slowly, and soon, I was let go. I immediately back up toward the headboard, watching as their eyes filled with hurt and confusion.

"We're not going to hurt you," Dwayne stated softly, his eyes calm. This wasn't a dream. This was the real him. At least, I hoped it was.

I furrowed my brows and wiped my face harshly, trying to stop the useless tears. "Do you guys really love me," I questioned.

I watched as their gazes softened to sadness, and each of them nodded their heads quickly, trying to reassure me. "Why would you doubt that, Angel. Did we do something wrong," Marko asked, his eyes searching mine for something I didn't understand.

I ignored the question and continued talking. "Do you hate me for not drinking from the bottle yet," I questioned.

They quickly shook their heads no, and I watched as David slowly moved toward me, making sure I didn't mind him coming closer. I felt his arms wrap around me, and I was pulled into his lap, my back to his stomach. "We don't hate you, sweetheart. I don't think we could, mate bond or not. You're our entire world, and we don't plan on giving you up. We love you, and you don't have to drink until you're ready. We shouldn't have to force you into a life you don't think is worth living for our own gain."

I nodded slowly, and Paul came forward, pressing his forehead to mine. "We love you more than you think. Don't doubt that." I nodded again, and he kissed my cheek softly before pulling away.

We sat in silence for a few seconds, and the rhythmic feeling of David's hand on my thigh rubbing back and forth. "I'm sorry for waking you guys up," I mumbled, leaning against David a bit more. He held me tighter.

"It's fine," Dwayne responded, still rubbing his eyes a bit. "Can you tell us what your dream was about or do you still need a moment?" He itched his hair nervously.

I paused and took a deep breath. "I- I don't know. I mean, I do know. I just – I thought it was real." I looked up to see the boys staring at me intently. "I was in the middle of the cave, and you guys were circling. You never stopped, and you were saying such terrible things. Dwayne said you guys never loved me and called me weak for not taking the blood yet." Dwayne tensed unconsciously, his hand reaching forward to take one of my hands. "And then, David said he couldn't believe I fell for it. Said you could replace me in a second." David's arms tightened, but he quickly let go as if he was afraid he would hurt me. "Paul said that's why you brought Star. I was a nobody, and nobody would notice me disappear, so you guys could get rid of me and take Star instead." Paul's hand intertwined with Marko's, his eyes holding mine as I spoke, and I watched a little part of him break. "And then Marko, Marko just broke me. He said I was a whore. Repeated that you guys didn't love me. So, I started crying, and Paul taunted me, calling me a whore again, and Dwayne called me pathetic, and then I woke up completely, I guess.

The boys were tense, and my eyes sat in the middle of the bed, refusing to meet any of theirs. I heard them moving, and I felt each of them grab some part of me. David sat behind me still, his legs on either side of me with his hands on my waist. Dwayne took my hand again, intertwining our fingers. Marko grabbed my other hand, and Paul managed to fit his way in front of me, his hands on my thighs.

David was the one to speak while everyone watched, trying to calm me down in their own ways. "I don't know how to fully earn your trust, and though I'm sad you don't fully trust us yet, I understand. Well, to an extent, I do. I mean, it's not like we should have expected it from you on such short notice, and I know that something up here isn't exactly right." David tapped my head, and I smiled a bit at the action. "But we're going to stick with you. We're not going to give you up, baby. We're here for you no matter what." David paused and let out a deep breath. "And Star is nothing compared to you. You're a goddess, and she's just a stupid girl. We have to take her in because of Max, but you, you are here because we love you. We love you so much, I don't think you understand. We would lay down our lives without even thinking about because we love you."

The boys around me nodded, assuring me, and I felt Dwayne turn my head softly. "None of us trusted the others like it was nothing. We were all screwed over in the past. Hell, after Paul changed, he refused to talk to us for a full year, but we helped him when he needed it, and we made sure he was safe. We gave him his time, and we can do that if you need. We can let you go for a bit, let you really think if you need it, but we just want you to know that we're right here if you need us." Dwayne swallowed hard, and his voice wobbled when he talked about me leaving.

I sighed a bit and looked down. I bit my lip and sighed lowly before leaning my head back and placing it on David's shoulder. I took a deep breath. "I don't want to leave you boys," I stated simply. "If it's for selfish reasons or survival reasons, I'm not sure, but I need you guys as much as you need me, and at this point in time, I couldn't imagine my life without you boys in it." I felt David exhale quietly, and the rest of the boys squeezed me from where they were holding me. "I know I love you guys. It's something inevitable. I just- I'm scared we're taking things too fast. I mean, it's been going fast since the moment I met you guys, and I know that I met you guys two months ago, but that has to be nothing compared to how long you've been alive. It's just crazy to me. I guess my head isn't right on my shoulders right now. I don't think I'm completely over Marigold either, and I don't know when I will be if I'm being honest. I don't know anything, but I do know that I love you guys, and I don't want to give you up. I'm sorry I've been all over the place, but I've grown such an attachment to you guys, it's crazy."

"You're alright, girl," Paul said simply, and I turned to see a broad smile on his face. "We love you." The boys all nodded and mumbled the sentence under their breaths.

"Now, can we please go back to sleep," I questioned. "It can't be nighttime yet!"

"No, it feels like noon," David mumbled in my ear. I sighed and nodded, falling from his grip and rolling over to the middle of the bed.

"Then, let's sleep. Star will probably be here tonight, so let's rest. Plus, I really need you guys right now."

The boys all fell around me, and I felt each of them press a kiss to my lips before moving to their spots. I made note of the fact that Paul and Marko were holding each other as they laid between my legs, their backs to my legs. I smiled a bit at that, and I felt Dwayne rolling my hair between his fingers. Yes, this was where I belonged even if my subconscious didn't believe it.