Pig Tails
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-chough-
Yeah it's late...-shifty eyes-...I REGRET NOTHING!!! (except my business communication grade; but other than that)
I'm sorry it's late—it was completely my fault—but I am a college student on a scholarship. School comes before a hobby; even if the hobby is more fun. In the next two weeks Hikari and myself are preparing for our final fall exams(and charmed refused to work before schedule) , and not all the stories are done yet. So excuse us if a chapter is posted a week or two late.
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-sound of throat being cleared- Once upon a time
"HOLD IT!"
Dagnapit. This is how the last one started. What is it Ino?
"How the hell did I get into a tower? And why is she in here?"
How you got in a tower will remain a great mystery for years to come. And she is not suppose to be in the tower with you yet. Now just keep quite and I'll start the story. Where are...ah. Okay. They are on stage already. Fine.
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Once upon a time there lived a wife and husband on a poor farm.
Lights come up onto Deidara sitting in front of a hut. "un."
Right. Good boy. Stay in character –just knows she will be saying 'un' by the end of this- Anyway, the couple were desperate for a baby...
"Wait! Who's the wife in this story?"
-nervouspause- Uh...well you see...you.
"un. You want to repeat that?" asked Deidara as a small blob of clay suddenly appeared in his hand.
-squeaky voice- No. Not particularly. Uh...OKAY! You are the husband aaannnddd...HINATA!
Hinata is pushed out to center stage by Sasuke, go figure.
"Look. If you do it then she won't call on any of the other guys to do it and I looked at the script; you are on stage a total of five seconds. Naruto will be grateful that he won't have to play a girl...-twitch-...again."
"I-if you say s-so...only five seconds?"
"Yeah five. That's it and then you are never heard from again."
"o-okay. For the b-betterment of the r-rest I suppose."
Sasuke nodded, "Good. Have fun. –twitch-"
"Sasuke-san?"
"-twitch- I'm fine. I have an insane desire to kill someone other than Itachi though." Sasuke then left Hinata with the pyromaniac art student.
Right, thanks, I think. Anyway, the husband and wife –thud- huh?
Deidara looked over from his seat, "I think she fainted."
Are the lights too hot Oh well, uh anyway, the husband and wife wanted a child.
"Good thing she's not awake to hear that."
Yeah, however, this was not the only problem the couple had. They were also very poor folk and have very little to eat. One day the husband went in the forest of the evil witch to try to find food.
"Why we can't go to the store and rob it I'll never know..." muttered Deidara as he walked to the other part of the stage.
Why we insist in this insanity, I'LL never know. –pause- Tenten?
Tenten suddenly popped her head out from stage right. "Yes?"
Can someone move Hinata, please?
"uh...yeah. One second. SHINO!"
Right, thanks. Anyway, one night the husband had to result to steeling food from the evil witch of the forest.
Deidara, who was watching Shino take Hinata off stage, asked, "We're in a forest you said, un. Why can't I just hunt something?"
It's...winter. There is nothing alive and it's illegal to hunt on the King's land.
"Un. And steeling from a witch is not worse?"
...that's not the point! Just get going your part is almost done.
"Un."
Good boy.
-twitch-
…problem?
Deidara twitched again. "Don't call me that, yeah."
Why no…oh yeah. Tobi.
-twitch-
Ah, well…don't worry he won't be showing up. I know who he really is and so far I don't like the looks of it
-blink- "Really is? What?"
Don't worry about it. It's not like you will find out later or anything; you're dead! Anyway, the husband went to the witches house to steel a head of rapunzel
"What the hell is rapunzel?"
Lettuce
"Uhn. You can't say lettuce?"
Do youwant your daughter to be named lettuce
"I don't want a daughter un."
To bad. Anyway, as the husband was sneaking into the garden; the witch found him.
"NO!"
...Please?
"I'll rephrased. HELL NO!!!"
-sigh- You said you didn't want to do Arts and Craft time and volunteered. If you don't hold up your end of the bargain you go back.
"...Damn you people."
Yeah. Love you too. Anyway, the witch caught the husband.
Temari cautiously stuck her head out from the right side of the stage and suddenly jumped all the way out, clutching her lower back. "Bun-headed Traitor!"
That's Tenten, everybody. Anyhow, the witch demanded to know why the man was steeling from her.
"I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY THAT TRAITOR IS IN CHARGE BACK STAGE!!!"
The husband had no course but to beg for his life.
"Uh?! I do not beg for anything."
And the witch let him go and gave him permission to return for all the rapunzel he or his wife wanted under the condition that she could ask for anything they had for payment.
"You just said that I was poor and didn't have anything! How the hell am I going to repay her? UH?"
The poor husband agreed because he thought that sense they had nothing the witch couldn't possible take anything important...this is kind of how college loans work...
The two blonds looked at the each other, "Do you get the feeling she's ignoring us?" asked Deidara.
"She is. She did this last time and the story ended suddenly; we should just let her 'narrate'.
...nice to know I'm being humored. Anyway, the husband returned to his home and...currently still unconscious wife...well? Go back to the other side of the stage.
"Uh. Why did I come over in the first place? It's five feet from where I started out."
I though you people were humoring me...Just go. Anyway...WHERE ARE YOU GOING!!! I meant back to the other side of the stage; not leave! Temari is the only one who can go off stage.
"I'm not leaving this stage just to be pushed back by that stupid leaf girl. That's Hinata's running-gag."
...you're not suppose to point that out darn you. In any case, the husband returned home and a few months passed before he learned that his wife was pregnant.
Deidara looked off stage right, " Yeah I think she was coming around before you said that yeah."
-sigh- poor thing...Anyhow, the wife eventual gave birth to a little girl and it was then that the witch came to the home to get payment.
-pause- -blink- "I know where this is going," grumbled Temari, "Why the hell do I want a baby? Is that not a little odd?"
-sounds of papers being shuffled- I wonder why the witch wanted the kid anyway...MOVING ON. The witch took the baby.
-Has decided that it is to troublesome to argue (and now she hasn't been hanging out with Shikamaru nope) Temari goes to the other side of the stage to receive the 'baby'. "...well?"
-mumbling- Can't find Hikari.( she still has the chibi powder)...Uh. yeah. –twitch- Damnit! I didn't say that...ummm so the witch took the baby and sixteen years passed.
"Wait a minute! You're skipping around!" yelled Deidara.
Why do you care?! You can leave now!
"...I can?"
un. –twitch-
Deidara smiled as he walked off stage.
"DEIDEI!!! I need you for my story!!"
"Un? NO! HELL NO!"
-crashboombangmorecrashing-
Charmed's head appeared from stage right, "You don't need Deidara anymore right, Tessen?"
Nope. Good luck.
"Thanks!" Charmed has left the stage.
Un. –twitch- moving on...
"I have tripped over this thing FIVE times!!!!"
Pardon?
"You will need one of those when the Hokage comes to her senses!"
What? We give her sake; she likes us. And all you have to do is sit by the window looking forlorn.
Ino is seen in the window of a great tower that suddenly appeared in the upper left of the stage. "I'm not wearing this thing any longer! It's freakishly unpractical AND looks bad on me!"
-sigh- You have to keep it. The prince needs to clime your hair to get into your tower.
"Who said I wanted anyone with me?! AHK!! Why the hell did you throw a book at me?!"
IT'S NOT A BOOK! It's a script...that you should have read.
"I looked at your damn script!"
The narrator suddenly has to duck as pre-mentioned script is thrown back.
WILL YOU JUST ACT LIKE A FREAKING TRAPPED PERSON ALREADY!?!?"
"NO! I refuse; I am a Kunoichi of Hidden Leaf! I can't act trapped."
Two words blonde: Craft Time.
"...shinobi have been know to be captured some times..."
Un. –twitch- Anyway, every day the witch would come and visit the girl in the tower.
Temari (who has been sitting on a fake pumpkin during this entire conversation) moved to the base of the tower and started walking up the wall.
The witch would call up to Rapunzel and say HEY! You're not suppose to be doing that!!
Temari stopped half way up, "Why not? This is how you would go up a tower right?"
NO! The witch didn't have Chakra! She had to clime up Rapunzel's hair.
Temari and Ino looked at each other. "No way in hell."
Ino (who looked board right at the moment) asked, "How would you get up a tower with no stairs and no Chakra?"
I wouldn't; unless someone at the top let down a ladder or something...we're off topic. Go back down and clime up.
"That is a waste of time! I'm halfway up now."
Damnit. Can't you people just do as you're told?! Bah. Forget it. Leave the stage for a few minutes. I need to introduce the "prince".
Temari walked back down the tower grumping about people who couldn't make up there mind.
Love you too. Anyway, one day a the heir to the kingdom was walking past the tower on his way home from the neighboring kingdom.
"Tch. Troublesome."
I'm going to put you in charge of guarding the girls dressing room if you don't move it.
"Fine. What do I do now?"
Stand there and listen. The girl in the tower was curious about the traveler and called out to the prince.
"...what are you wearing, Lazy Ass?"
"...it was too troublesome to argue."
He looks fine; it's the same costume the next prince with have. Moving on. The prince, hearing about how the girl had been locked up all her life, decided to rescue her from the tower.
Ino blinked, "Wait. I'm waiting for him to rescue me?"
Yep.
"...Great. I have time to watch the Naruto Fillers now..."
Good Gad. Don't bring those up. Just get moving; the 'witch' should be coming back soon.
A waving hand got the narrators attention, "I never left. I told you I'm not going to get pushed from back stage again."
Gah. Fine whatever.
"You sound defeated," pointed out Ino.
I'm tired. It's like...four in the morning where I live. Anyway, the prince saw the witch and knew he would have to fight her in order to rescue Rapunzel
"NO! Not again. I refuse to fight him again!"
-head, meet desk- Okay, look
BOOOM!!!
WHAT THE HELL?! I'll be right back! –sound of a door slamming-
Ino looked out the window of the tower, "What was that?"
"No clue," answered Shikamaru.
Tenten stuck her head in from stage left, "I think the pyromaniac just knocked over something..."
Temari threw her hands up, "Wonderful. When is this story going to end anyway?"
"Tch. I'm leaving. This whole thing's not going anywhere anyway," said Shikamaru as he walked off stage.
"Same here. AND DON'T TRY TO PUSH ME BACK OUT BUN-BRAINED SOCIOPATH!"
"...that's it? You can't come up with something worse than bun-brained sociopath?" asked Tenten as she walked out on to the stage.
"It's the damn outfit. Wearing all black under these lights makes my head hurt."
"There it some aspirin in the first aid kit in the girls dressing room," said Tenten as she fliped some papers in a notebook.
"Good. Shikamaru! Come with me and make sure the pervert is not already in the girls dressing room."
Shikamaru sighed, "Which one?"
Shikamaru and Temari walked off the stage to the dressing rooms.
"...he left me up here!"
Tenten stopped and looked up, "What?"
"He left me—his teammate—up here and went with TEMARI!!! How wrong is that?!"
-not paying attention- "Happens."
"NO! You don't get it! He left me up here for Temari!!!"
"You are a Kunoichi; you can't get out your self?"
"OF COURSE I CAN."
Tenten waved her hand, "Then come on! We need to run before the next story starts."
"Tch. Fine then."
-door slams-
Okay, the fire is out. What have I missed?
"IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT SHIKAMARU RAN OFF WITH TEMARI!!!"
Huh? Translation please.
"Temari and Shikamaru walked off stage," said Tenten, "I don't think we can get them back any time soon."
...damn. Okay, fine. The prince instead of fighting the witch ran off with her and Rapunzel...went to college and became a successful psychologist. The End. I got to go and make sure that no more fires start. You guys can clean up right? LATER!
-SLAM-
"...what happened?"
"The story ended. I need to find Gaara-sama and tell him to clean up his sand. Do you need help getting down?"
"No," said Ino as she cut the freaky braid off, "I'm a capable Kunoichi and I don't need anyone's help." She landed next to Tenten and started to walk off stage.
"ARGK!!!"
Tenten paused, "Sounds like Shikamaru needs a capable Kunoichi. Want to help?"
"PERVERT!"
"Nah. That sounded like Sakura; she can handle it."
"She was the one screaming pervert..."
"Exactly."
This is Charmed –waves excitedly- we'd like to thank you for reading Tessen half assed attempt during her study time for Finals; which I don't have until JANUARY! I ROCK! lol
COOKIES FOR ALL!