CORRESPONDENCE BETWEEN HETALIANS 10
One particular Christmas . . . .
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Francis Bonnefoy 2
YOU SENT ME A VIRUS?
~ France
To: Francis Bonnefoy 2
From: Arthur Kirkland
Yes, merry Christmas and I hope you like it. I sent one to China, too.
England
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Francis Bonnefoy 2
It somehow ruined both my computer and my e-mail. Curse you!
~ France
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Yao Wang 2
You will pay for this.
Paying someone to fix my things for me,
China
To: Ivan Braginski
From: Natalia Arlovskaya
Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.
Love,
Belarus
To: Ivan Braginski
From: Katyusha Braginskaya
MERRY CHRISTMAS, brother Russia!
I made you another scarf! Now you can give me total control of all your lands without guilt!
With love,
Ukraine
To: Ludwig
From: Gilbert Beilschmidt
Hallo, West! Merry Christmas!
Guess what Hungary gave me for Christmas? A beating with the frying pan! I wonder if that means she likes me since I'm so awesome.
- THE AMAZINGLY AMAZING, INCREDIBLY INCREDIBLE, SHOCKINGLY AWESOME AND HOLY PRUSSIA!
To: Gilbert Beilschmidt
From: Ludwig
And guess what I'm getting you for Christmas?
An appointment with the psychiatrist.
Best regards,
Germany
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Francis Bonnefoy
Haha, pirate! I got America to fix my computer and e-mail for me!
~ France
To: Francis Bonnefoy
From: Arthur Kirkland
Oh, what a pity, then. That means I wasted 4,967,245,800 e-mails' worth of spam on the wrong address. I guess I'll start again.
England
To: Ivan Braginski
From: Alfred F. Jones
Hey Russia!
Apparently you sent me a bomb, but that doesn't seem right since I'm the hero and people just don't send heroes bombs so I'm sending it back to you!
Merry Christmas!
- AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Francis Bonnefoy
From: Ivan Braginski
Happy blowing up.
Russia
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Francis Bonnefoy
Russia sent me a bomb and here it is!
~ France
To: [Cuba]
From: Arthur Kirkland
Sorry, you were the first person I thought of.
- England
To: Matthew Williams
From: [Cuba]
America you [CENSORED][CENSORED]! Here's the bomb I [CENSORED] owe you! I hope you enjoy exploding! Now I have to [CENSORED] leave since there's only about an hour left until the thing blows up in your [CENSORED] face!
– Cuba
To: [Cuba]
From: Matthew Williams
I'm CANADA!
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: [Cuba]
Thank you for the bomb, I enjoyed blowing up America.
– Cuba
To: Kiku Honda
From: Yao Wang
No, you can't have Shantung.
– China
To: Yao Wang
From: [Taiwan]
Recognize me as a country.
Taiwan
To: [Taiwan]
From: Yao Wang
No. I don't want to.
– China
To: Yao Wang
From: [Taiwan]
Peach blossoms.
Taiwan
To: [Taiwan]
From: Yao Wang
Peach blossoms?
– China
[Spain's diary]
What I got for Christmas this year:
From North Itachan: tomatoes.
From France: suspicious roses.
From America: a bailout.
From Britain: scones
From Romano: broken ribs
Still waiting for Finland's present! I'm really excited!
To: Ludwig
From: Feliciano Vargas
Hi Germany! Here's your present! I'm sure you'll love it!
Italy~
To: Feliciano Vargas
From: Ludwig
Stop getting me mens' underwear!
Unimaginably sincerely,
Germany
To: [Everyone]
From: Tino Väinämöinen
Hi! Merry Christmas, everyone!
I hope you're all enjoying Christmas so far! This year I got each of you something extra special, so look forward to it! A few notes:
Germany, Denmark, Prussia, and Latvia: I wasn't sure how much alcohol you all wanted, so I've left a few hundred boxes at Helsinki. Feel free to take as many as you want!
Russia: I've left one-hundred-and-five crates of vodka and sunflowers justoutside your territory!
Again, merry Christmas!
– Finland
To: Tino Väinämöinen
From: Emil Steilsson
Dear Finland,
I don't think you should have done what you did with the alcohol. I don't know if you saw, but Helsinki was a massacre.
Iceland
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Matthias Køhler
gvjhy iMIL7SFDL hndhgffhgdgfgvd
To: Matthias Køhler
From: Arthur Kirkland
What? Is that some kind of secret code?
– England
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Emil Steilsson
Dear Britain,
I apologize if Denmark has sent you any odd e-mails. He said he was going to thank you for the ale you sent him, but Norway caught him banging his head against the keyboard and spluttering nonsense. We're stillcleaning the vomit off my brother's clothes.
Unhappily,
Iceland
To: Tino Väinämöinen
From: Emil Steilsson
Dear Finland,
Was there some weird chemical in the beer you gave out? We've already received letters from Britain, Japan, Austria and Estonia. Apparently Denmark decided to vomit all over Britain's lawn, Germany won't stop singing some beer song, Prussia is trying to eat Austria's piano, and Latvia keeps going around flapping his arms and laughing for no reason.
Extremely concerned,
Iceland
To: Yao Wang
From: Alfred F. Jones
Merry Christmas! How did you like the book I got you? "The Great Wall and the Empty Fortress!"
- AMERICA THE HERO!
To: Alfred F. Jones
From: Yao Wang
You [CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED]! I ought to pulverize you, you [CENSORED][CENSORED]! How dare you publish something which is almost completely about my nonexistent weakness? [CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED]! [CENSORED] you! [CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED]! Curse you, America! [CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED][CENSORED]!
– China
To: Arthur Kirkland
From: Alfred F. Jones
I am sorry to inform you that you no longer hold the top spot in pottymouthship.
- AMERICA THE HERO!
To: [Everyone]
From: Ludwig
Ten million bottles of beer on the wall! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!
To: Kiku Honda
From: Arthur Kirkland
Why has Germany turned into a taller version of the pasta idiot?
– England
[Spain's diary]
What I got from Finland this Christmas: a book on how to stop being a pedophile.
Other Random Notes:
I just watched HetaHazard 17.
Initial reaction: Ah. . . mansion + creepy freaks + everyone is stuck in mansion = HetaOni . . . wait, what? This is HetaHazard!
Did anyone else reach the same conclusion or am I just off?
By the way, do you all like HetaOni or HetaHazard more (if you've watched them)? I rather like the latter more.
To: Santa Claus
From: Alfred F. Jones
OLD HAGRID?
- AMERICA THE HERO!