Thank you all so very much for the feedback, I greatly appreciate it! Keep it going please! I want to know if the direction is right....
Still more angst in this one, and not everyone is sure what caused Roy to do what he did.
As always thanks to Emom for being a great friend and mentor.
Promise by the Moon
Emergency! Fanfiction
By: Redelflady
Chapter 10
The next few weeks Roy went back to being the sad and quiet man that everyone had been glad to see disappear. Sarah managed to avoid him as best she could. In truth their schedules helped them miss each other most of the time. If they did have to work together, no one was the wiser that they had not spoken a non work related word to each other in weeks.
On an afternoon run, Roy brought in a patient with a broken arm from a slip and fall in the bath tub. The woman was mortified to have 2 male paramedics respond but felt that Roy was the safer choice to take care of her, much to Johnny's amusement. Johnny brought in the squad and promptly disappeared at Rampart.
Roy came out of the treatment room and scanned the hallway for his partner. Dix was at the nurse's station working on paperwork. "Dix, do you know where Johnny ended up?"
She looked up and smiled at him, "He's in Pediatrics."
Roy waited for the elevators, nervously playing with the antenna on the HT. He hadn't told his partner about the actions he had taken. Obviously Johnny knew something had happened since Sarah hadn't been by or called in weeks.
Roy arrived on the 4th floor and there in front of the Pediatrics ICU were Johnny and Sarah laughing. Johnny was telling her about the tub rescue. Roy smiled hearing Sarah laugh again.
The HT in his hand went off, "Squad 51 what is your status?"
Both of them turned to look at him, Sarah's smile disappeared and was quickly replaced by a look of intense hurt. She turned to Johnny and gave him a quick hug. "Please be safe." She whispered.
Johnny nodded as Sarah slipped into the Doctor's office and closed the door.
"Squad 51 available from Rampart General Hospital." Roy responded as the paramedics headed to the stairs. They had just got in the squad when LA stood them down.
Roy looked at Johnny, "You ….wanna go talk to Sarah again? I'll wait here."
Johnny shook his head "No, that's ok Roy. It's almost time for dinner, let's get back to the firehouse."
Roy nodded and headed to the street. He rubbed his face, "Do you miss her? I mean hanging out with us at the house?"
"Yeah, sometimes I do." Johnny fiddled with his green pen not looking at Roy. "She…She's real sad sometimes," Johnny swallowed. "She won't talk about you, just the kids. She really misses them."
Roy took a deep breath, "I didn't mean for this to happen. It…. It's hard to explain, something that I have to work through. She can come see the kids anytime she wants. Would you tell her that for me?"
Johnny nodded, "Sure, I will. It would go a lot further coming from you though."
"Johnny she's not gonna talk to me."
Johnny studied his partner and best friend's face, reading the emotions there. "You broke up with her didn't you Roy?"
Roy glanced at him and then back at the road. "Yeah."
"Roy why?!?" Johnny stopped and his eyes narrowed. "It was that run last month wasn't it? I knew that bothered you! But you wouldn't talk about it."
Johnny was shocked at his friend's actions because of the run. Roy didn't do anything rash, he was the reasonable one and he always thought everything through before acting.
Roy slowly nodded.
"Talk to her Roy….."
"Johnny just because you figured it out doesn't make it right again. I still….." Roy smacked the steering wheel with the heel of his hand. "It doesn't fix anything."
Roy backed the squad in the bay.
"Roy, you can't spend the rest of your life afraid of losing people." Johnny patted him on the shoulder and headed to the kitchen.
Roy sat in the squad, when Hank walked out of his office and right by him. He then backed up. "Roy you alright?"
He looked at Captain Stanley, "Yeah. Can I use your office phone for a minute?"
"Sure Roy, but make it quick, they are lining up for the pizza already."
"Thanks Cap."
Roy walked in closing the door behind him. He sat down and stared at the phone, mulling over what to say. He remembered the last time he used this phone was to call her, so he could…..he sighed.
He picked up the receiver and promptly put it down. He left the office and joined the rest of the men for dinner.
The next shift for Station 51 was a slow day, all required chores were done, and inspections were made, even a few game of basketball. Roy watched the men play but even Chet's goading could not get him to join in. He sat on his truck and watched the activity, lost in his own thoughts. Mike managed to get Johnny's attention, "What happened with him?" he nodded towards Roy. Johnny shook his head, "I just hope he comes out of it soon Mike."
At 3:00 AM the squad was called out for an injured child. The young boy fell out of the top bunk in his sleep and had a sprained elbow and possible concussion. Johnny rode in with the child and his Mother.
Roy backed the squad at Rampart next to the squad from 47. He turned off the engine and heard a familiar laugh. He headed for the doors and there was Station 47's Paramedic Tucker and Sarah talking. She was laughing at his story of their latest rescue. He felt a twinge of jealousy, which surprised him. After all he was the one that had ended it.
He cleared his throat to let them know he was there.
"Hey Roy!" The paramedic greeted him happily, shaking his hand.
"Tuck, how are you?" Roy replied.
Sarah crossed her arms and nodded at him, "Roy." She said quietly.
"Hey I was just telling the Doc about this crazy rescue we had.."
Sarah interrupted him, "Tuck, I have to go. We'll talk again another time." She turned to walk back in the hospital.
"Hey!" Tuck called after her," You wanna go get some coffee after your shift is over Doc?"
She waved back at him, "No, but thanks for asking." She continued into the hospital. Her heart was heavy and she couldn't take seeing Roy today. She had talked to Chris and Jen on the phone earlier and it was breaking her heart to not see them more often.
Tuck looked at Roy, "She is so nice and cute too. I really would like the chance to talk to her away from the hospital."
Roy absently nodded. "Excuse me Tuck, I need to check on Johnny."
Tuck shrugged and slowly walked into the hospital to wait on his partner.
Roy saw Johnny and Sarah talking at the base unit. As soon as she saw him headed that way she excused herself and walked for the stairwell.
Roy looked at Johnny, "I'll meet you at the squad in a few minutes." He followed her to the stairwell.
He opened the door and saw her sitting on the next flight of stairs.
"Sarah?" he said quietly.
She got up and started up the stairs, "Wait, please." He called after her.
"Why?' Her whisper echoed off the walls.
"I ….Just want to talk to you. For a minute." He walked up a few stairs.
She sat back down, "What do we need to talk about?"
He slowly walked up a few more stairs.
"I just want to know that you're alright, that's all."
She chuckled without any humor, "That would imply that you care Roy, and I don't think that's what you want. Remember?"
Roy walked up to the landing and stood there looking at her, head down, arms crossed and chewing on her lip.
"I ….. I wish I could…..explain." he started.
"I do too," she said angrily. "I don't know what I did." She avoided his eyes.
"You didn't Sarah…." He couldn't take his eyes off of her, seeing the pain he was causing affect her whole body.
"Then what happened?" she stared at the ground.
He shook his head, "I….you…" he couldn't form the words. His heart hurt from what he had done.
He took a step towards her and she stood up, "Don't." she whispered putting up her hands to ward him away.
"I….I feel awful….I just ….." he took another step and this time she didn't move. He reached out and took her hand; she again felt that familiar surge of electricity that happened when he touched her. She closed her eyes and took a step down. The stairwell seemed alive with emotion and things yet to be said. He gently pulled her hand and she took another step down to the landing. He took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. He felt her exhale and put her arms around his waist. She just melted into him, missing this closeness. She laid her head on his shoulder and just worked on breathing. Roy rested his head on hers. They stood there for a few minutes, both of them aching for what they had lost.
"Roy," She pleaded, "Please, tell me how to make us all right again."
"You can't." he whispered. He felt her breath catch and she pushed him away with a strangled cry.
Her eyes flashed dark at him, "Then I guess I was stupid the whole time thinking that you really cared about me, that you cared about us. You were right to break up with me, if we can't talk this through, then we don't need to be together."
Roy was shaking his head wondering what he had done, the damage he had caused.
"No, you were right Roy." She wiped away a tear. "Time to move on, don't you think?
She ran past him and down the stairs, "Sarah!" he called out, his voice echoing loudly. She shook her head and ran through the door.
Tuck was at the base unit talking to his partner and Johnny when she ran up. Roy was slowly following.
"Tuck?" she said sweetly. His face lit up, "Yeah Doc?"
"My shift is over at 8:00 this morning. Where would you like to go?"
Roy stopped. He felt like he had been punched in the stomach.
"Well all right Doc! I'll pick you up here." He was smiling from ear to ear.
"I'm looking forward to it Tuck." She smiled at him. "See you then." She turned and slipped through the door headed for the lab.
Tuck and his partner left, saying their goodbyes to Squad 51.
Johnny turned to see Roy's face and winced at his partner's pain. Roy slowly walked by and handed Johnny the keys as he walked to the squad.
He sat silently sat in the passenger seat staring out the window.
Johnny called them in available and drove the squad back to the station. The ride was without conversation. He wanted to ask Roy what had happened, but he didn't want to add to his partner's obvious pain.
As soon as they were back at the station Roy headed for his bunk, stripping down to his boxers and curled up under the blanket, facing the wall. His mind was reeling. What had he done? How had he managed to make this so bad?
Johnny sat on his bunk staring at Roy's back. He wasn't sure what to do, but he felt the need to do something. He hadn't seen Roy like this since Jo died. He could feel his friend's pain like a fever radiating from his body.
He walked over and firmly patted Roy on the shoulder the only gesture he could think of. Roy pulled his hand from under the covers and patted Johnny's hand, before curling up even tighter.
Roy spent his two days off sullen and sulking on the couch watching TV with the kids. Johnny gingerly tried to talk all around asking him what was wrong. Each time Roy politely shut him down.
Roy was lying on the couch watching Jen make a bracelet. He smiled at her intense attention to making sure every bead looked just right and was in the correct place. She was so much like her Mother.
"Who is that for Jen?"
She smiled at him, "Sarah Bear."
"Oh. Do you want me to give it to her for you?"
"Nope, I'll give it to her tomorrow."
Roy sat up curiously looking at his daughter. "Where are you seeing her tomorrow?"
Jen put the finishing touches on the bracelet and proudly held it up for him to see. "She has lunch with me and Chris at school once a week. Do you think she will like it Daddy?"
He leaned over and hugged her, "She'll love it honey."
The next day found Squad 51 busy through early afternoon, multiple runs had them tired and hungry, but they seriously need supplies. They stopped by Rampart in the late afternoon to stock up.
Kel, Joe, Sarah and Dix were around the base station talking when Roy and Johnny walked up. Johnny whistled, "Wow! Who got the flowers?" He smelled the 2 dozen long stemmed roses. "Dix" he winked, "Who have you been dating?"
She smiled at him, "Oh their not for me, Johnny, seems a paramedic at 47 has a crush on our Dr. Blaylock."
Johnny looked at Roy, his face blank and pale. "Come on Pally, let's get some supplies." He guided Roy to the cabinet.
The conversation behind them continued. "So Sarah, where exactly did he take you?' Kel chuckled.
"Just out for coffee after work a couple days ago. They're lovely, but it's a little bit overkill." She fiddled with the bow tied around the vase.
Roy's jaw clenched, she had really gone out with Tuck.
Dr. Early smiled at her, "Well I think it's nice for a young man to send his girl flowers for no reason."
"I'm not his girl Joe. I'm not anyone's girl." Sarah frowned.
Johnny was trying to get supplies quickly and get Roy out of there. He could see this was a conversation he didn't want to hear.
Dixie was checking the list of supplies when she noticed Sarah's bracelet.
"I suppose that Tuck gave you that as well?"
Sarah looked at Roy, "No. Roy's daughter Jen made it for me."
"Well Roy you should be very proud, she did a great job on that. Smart girl you have there." Dixie patted him on the shoulder.
Roy looked at Dixie, avoiding Sarah's eyes, "Smarter than her Dad." He grabbed the supplies and headed to the squad.
Kel looked at Johnny, "What's wrong with Roy lately?"
"It's nothing that we can fix Doc." And he followed Roy out the bay doors.
Johnny leaned against the squad as Roy put up the supplies and fought getting on of the doors locked. "Roy, you ok?"
"Yeah Junior, let's go."
Roy spent the rest of the shift in silence, lost in his thoughts.
He had pushed her away because he was afraid of losing her, and now he had truly lost her.